Title: A Pocketful of Animals 3/3 – “Home is Where the Heart is”

Genre: fluff, AU

Word Count: 15 476

A/N: sorry for the wait. Get ready to get your eyes wasted lol

(un-beta-ed yet. I'll take down the errors later)

 

--

 

Days after their tête-a-tête (without the intimacy) in the car that fateful night, Sanghyuk suggests an “early morning walk,” which surprises Risa as it should. She almost says, I had one with Dr Cha a few days ago, but she figures it would be wrong to do that. Sanghyuk did not show up for two days after their talk in the car, and on the third day the call came, and it was only simple, but it gave Risa an immense amount of inexplicable relief. “Risa-ssi, what do you say we have an early walk tomorrow, at the park? My hinges need some exertion, and my muscles, too. I’ve been lacking exercise. I’ll go to your apartment at 6, tomorrow. After then we’ll have breakfast. Will it be alright?”

Risa assented, of course. Really, was she left with any other choice? Even if she did, of course she would choose him.

She’s probably the most ignorant heroine a story has ever had, but we can’t blame her. It may or may not be that she loves Sanghyuk, but to Risa, or to both of them—to point out precisely—romance is not the thing most important right now. They savour each time with one another, as friends, as of now.

 

--

 

He’s just about to pull the string of his jacket when the door clicks open, revealing a smiling Risa, early morning edition. “Shall we go?”

“Yes, please.”

They tread their way to the park, and Sanghyuk jokes as they reach it that they could just head home now because he’s already pretty tired.

“Man up.”  Risa sneers at him, followed by a laugh.

The two has decided not to bring the cat along, for the luxury of it to sleep to its fullest pleasure, and so that they wouldn’t have anything else to worry about. They walk at a reasonably speedy pace, just enough to for the walk to be called an exercise. They happen to see a live work-out session going on in the middle of the park’s grounds, and Sanghyuk grabs Risa by the hand to join in the thickening throng gathered.

Risa’s not fond of exercise, she admits, kind of ironic because she used to have land drills when she was a swimmer of the varsity team way back in high school up to college. Time withers bones into oldness, we would say. She and Hyuk stand beside each other in the formation, and both steal wicked, giggling glances at one another in the midst of exercising.

They’re worn out after an entire hour of the work-out, but neither regrets. They soon retire on a bench as the crowd disperses, gathering their breaths.

“Remember that time when we were in high school?” Hyuk says all of a sudden, looking at the dim sky above them. Maybe it’s going to rain today. He hopes so, because he likes it when it does.

“We didn’t go to the same school.” Risa glances at him, eyes dilated.

“Yeah, we didn’t. But there was this time—”

“Which one,”

“It was that time when Jaehwan-hyung and you were dating. I went to that swimming competition you were a part of,”

“I joined a lot of swim meets. I can’t really…remember…”

“Alright, here: which one do you think I attended? I attended once and for all,” Hyuk laughs, and he really wants to point out that they’re improving in the way they talk to one another now but he doesn’t, afraid that he might disturb the good flow of the situation.

“Hmm…” Risa thinks with a hand on her chin. “That one where I won gold. Correct?”

He nods.

“Why’d you ask?”

“It was I think the time when I discovered that you’re the child that my parents wouldn’t shut up about,”

Risa makes this expression of mingled surprise and one who’s flattered. “Really? How?”

“I can’t really recall how, but they would often talk about you. ‘The Tsukamoto-Hongs still have another child. Their youngest one.’ And I guess I was, ah, I was kind of curious who you were.”

Risa doesn’t admit to herself that she feels a little pleasantly flustered at that. “So how did you know I was that Tsukamoto-Hong?”

“Jaehwan-hyung knows of our families’ cartel, see,” he drinks from the bottle of water he happens to be carrying. “He pointed you while you were on your starting block. You had your swimming cap and goggles on, so I couldn’t really make out your face.  ‘That,’ he pointed out. (here Sanghyuk makes the same gesture Jaehwan made) ‘Is Hong Risa. She’s the child of the Tsukamoto-Hong family. The one your family’s in the cartel with.’”

Risa nods. “What did you think of me then?”

“Uh, you swim well.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Risa chuckles. “I mean, what was your…ah, first impression of me?”

“Hmm…you were kind of…cool? You walked like a girly girl, but spoke boyishly back then,”

“Oh, gosh. Yes, you’re right. I was frequently being scolded because of my inappropriate behaviour.” She shrugs. “I don’t think I’ve improved much,”

“You did.”

“Oh?”

“A little.”

She flattens her eyes at him.

He laughs. “After I officially met you, I don’t know if I was just imagining things, or…but the frequency of them talking about you seemed to, uh, increase? And then one day we had a little dinner at your home. I still remember the taste of the onigiri your mom prepared.”

“Mom has always been a good cook,” Risa smiles, looking down at her shoes, her arms supporting her weight as she leans backwards. “It’s just rice with seaweed on it, what’s so special about that?”

“Good question. I’ve tasted onigiri before that, but I don’t know what’s really in Eomoni’s cooking that makes it so tasty,”

At the mention of the word tasty, Risa suddenly remembers the animal biscuits from Dr Cha’s pocket. “You want me to make you one tomorrow?”

Sanghyuk grins. “You would?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’d love that.” They’re quiet for a short while, then Hyuk restarts, “You know, Jaehwan-hyung once joked that we would get married,”

A very short-lived frisson passes across Risa’s entire body. “He did? When? How?”

“You see, he has this tendency of making jokes with hints of prophecy in it. He told me that maybe Risa and I would get engaged and then get married because of our parentage. Our family businesses, he means,”

She avoids asking whether he liked it or not. “What did you say then?”

“Well I just…shrugged it off; I had this come-what-may attitude before.  It drove me curious more than anything else. What about you?”

“I didn’t know that we’d get…you know, engaged, until a month before our betrothal.” Risa looks at him. “Would you mind if I confess something?”

I would love that, he wants to say. He nods to indicate that he lets her go ahead.

“I used to imagine my future with Jaehwan, you know. I liked him very much then.” She sighs. “But I was young and stupid…”

“Why am I not surprised to hear that, Risa-ssi?” he offers an affable laugh. “Yeah, I noticed. You and hyung were together from—when, junior year up to near-end of college?”

 “How did you know?”

“We share common circles of friends, you forget.”

“I see.” She nods slowly, in comprehension. “How is Jaehwan now? The last time I saw him was on last year’s Chuseok.”

“He’s fine. He still likes you, apparently,”

Sanghyuk said that with so much ease, as if just announcing his favourite flavour of ice cream. She feels a sense of shame instead of concern. “He shouldn’t—”

“He keeps on checking out on you; keeps on joking that he would tell his parents to tell yours that he wants your hand. He says he’s thinking of ways to make our betrothal null because we’re taking too long in getting married,” there’s a great trace of carelessness in his tone, but Risa has enough knowledge to know: he’s not kidding.

“Sanghyuk-ssi, you know your hyung. His jokes go beyond boundaries.”

He shakes his head with the most saccharine smile ever, and now Risa feels concerned, not because of what he’s saying, but about Sanghyuk himself: is it even alright for him to talk about this? “Believe me; I’ve known hyung longer than you did. I can distinguish his meant jokes from the sincere ones.”

It takes all her willpower to ask, “What do you think about it, though?”

“I say, he really can’t do anything about this.” Sanghyuk shows the back of his left hand, where a familiar ring encircles the most special finger of all. “He can’t, can he?” he says with a smile, and she’s surprised to find how natural it is to hear him say it.

Covering her face with her hands isn’t an option, because that would only evince that she’s embarrassed; nor could she open because she knows what would come out is a croak, so all she could do is stare back at him with a face of agreement, hoping that the tickling warmth of her face wouldn’t make her look red in any way. She wants to ask him, do you like me? But something stops her. Now isn’t the time yet.

Sanghyuk notices that her cheeks and ears turn pink, but the gentleman he is, he never points that out. He stands up and invites, “Shall we have breakfast, now? I’m starving.”

Risa laughs upon remembering that healthy talks should be followed up by healthy nutrition, too. “Yeah, let’s,”

The sky, though louring, still makes the morning pleasant, for the both of them at least, because even with the thick mist in the atmosphere both find warmth in conversing with one another. Their bodies and minds replenished, Sanghyuk takes Risa home to her apartment after them breakfasting, claiming he is to go to work afterwards.

“What would you like for dinner?” asks Risa, when they stand at the entrance of her unit.

He’s a little reluctant to answer, but he has to be honest. That’s the least he can do. If he can’t love her as he should, he should at least be truthful. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to come for dinner later,” he bows his head a little, his hand on his nape. “I have paperwork to finish. Lots of them,”

She shrugs. “Well then. Just…hmm, say, call me? For any notice?”

“I will.” He smiles with a polite nod.

They bow at each other—a force of habit—before Hyuk departs, and for Risa, she thinks this is better than before. They really are trying again.

 

--

 

A few days after their walk in the park, Risa is waiting for her name to be called so she could get her espresso when something covers her eyes from behind.

“Guess who?” whispers a sly tone so near her ear, it almost feels like it’s breathing down her very neck. She would recognize that voice anywhere. It’s been a really long time, and she would lie if she says she didn’t miss him.

She puts her right hand atop the hands covering her eyes, chuckling, “Long time no see.”

“Oh, no see, alright. Quite literally,” the voice behind her laughs, then removes his hands. Risa slowly opens her eyes and Jaehwan, her former lover, quickly comes into view. He sits at the vacant chair in front of her.

“Hi, Jaehwan.” It seems weird, talking to him like this without detecting any sparks flying in the air or any eruption of butterflies in her stomach. A feeling of embarrassment and self-consciousness lingers onto her, though.

“It’s nice to see you again, Hongri.” He smiles, and for a moment there, Risa could swear the past became the present. She has never forgotten him. And apparently he hasn’t forgotten about her, too. It’s because of the memories, part of Risa mutters inside her. We get to meet people, and they become a part of our lives, and vice versa. But some are just meant to not stay in ours; us in theirs. And when the departure part comes, it hurts, very, and very few are lucky to have their feelings unscathed when such separation comes. One ever rarely experiences being left, or leaving, without hurting himself.

“Same here. You know, we just live in the same city but we never get to see each other,” she muses with a friendly smile.

“So I noticed.” He laughs. “So, how are you?”

How are you? He would always ask her that before, at every end of the day. Whether or not they would see each other, he never forgets to ask that. Now, hearing that, she realizes that it’s not exactly hurt what she’s feeling. It’s a sense of emptiness inside her that she thinks ought to be filled—it’s been hollow all this time, ever since Jaehwan and she ended what was between them. “I’m alright.”

“Are you?” it doesn’t sound snide, or very curious, but Risa knows him well. There’s that straightforward way of him staring at her and when it’s there—the stunning, frank look in his eyes, she feels compelled to answer with the truth. He’s not coercing her, either. It’s just that Ken has always been her confidante.

“A few things bother me.” She admits, after a few seconds.

“One espresso for Risa!” a guy yells over from the counter, and Risa motions to stand, but Jaehwan beats her to it; he grabs the piece of paper she’s holding, walks to the counter, and gets her drink.

“But I guess espresso wouldn’t solve that ‘bother’, am I right?” he says with a smile at her, when he hands Risa her cup.

She nods grimly and also maybe a little sadly. She sips from her drink.

“This involves Sanghyuk, doesn’t it?” this time Ken (she still calls him that) settles himself on the seat next to Risa’s.

Not really, she wants to say, but on a secondary thought she concludes that he plays a part bigger than she thinks.

Jaehwan, seeing her discomfort, reveals his intentions, finally. “I’m not forcing you to tell me or anything. I just, well, since I’m here and free for the rest of the day, I might as well entertain you, yes?”

Risa manages a small smile, though her interest still seems to be on the surface of the table before them, he thinks. “Ken,”

“Yes?”

“Why?”

It takes him a few moments to grasp what she means. He’s not a mind-reader, of course, and it would be pretty embarrassing if he says, “What?” but he doesn’t have to think so hard, after all. It’s a simple question, requiring a simple answer, but recalling a memory a little painful isn’t as simple. “Some things…don’t go the way we plan them to be, Hongri.”

They don’t love each other anymore, that’s the sad part. Truth be told, Jaehwan still longs for her, but the ardour isn’t as strong as before; no longer driving them feverish, just a little glow in the embers for them to share as friends. “But why do they say we make our own destiny?”

She could be right; she could be wrong, too, though. Either way he’ll never know. “Save the sentimental questions for later. Come along,” he rises from his seat, suddenly possessed by an idea.

Risa follows his example, and together, they walk out the door.

“Sanghyuk doesn’t mind if I would, say, borrow you for a while, right?”

Risa assures him her fiancé wouldn’t.

 

Before she even knows it, Hongri is watching the vast green landscape stretching before her; carpets and carpets of well-trimmed green grass that seem to know no end, and she could see poles with triangular flags on them situated at various spots.

“Is it just me, or they expanded their area?” Risa asks, looking around, while she sits next to Jaehwan in the open-air vehicle, the golf cart. “I don’t remember seeing that little hill over there.”

“Yes, they did.” He answers. “And it’s much prettier than before, right? Also, more and more people come here to play.”

“So I see,” ‘Hongri’ agrees, recalling the bunch of friends she had seen a while ago signing up for a play. “But, why’d you bring me here? You know I’m not good with golf,”

“We’re not going to play. Well, lest you want to, but I thought this would be the place where we’d get the least disturbances.” And the few other words are unspoken, because they don’t really need be vocalized. He and she would hang out here before, back when they were dating. “I’ll tour you ‘round, show you how much this place has changed over the few years. If that makes you feel any better,”

“It does; thanks.”

And Jaehwan navigates the golf cart across the entire area of the golf course, pointing to Risa the unfamiliar places that were added to what is in her memory. Risa comments that the area has expanded twice its size, and he couldn’t agree more.

It is all going well until they come to that familiar spot where they had their first date. It was way back in junior year, but Risa could still vividly remember. She was totally head-over-heels about the boy, but kept their relationship as a secret from her parents, afraid that they would force them to break up, and that would kill her. It was her dream come true; the boy she liked so much finally reciprocated her feelings and asked her out for the first time.

 “Why golf?” she had asked him then, expecting either a sunny day at the park riding couple bikes, or a romantic walk along the seashore.

“It’s not cliché,” Jaehwan had reasoned. “And the vast landscape makes us feel like we’re really alone; also, golf is a trying but fun sport.” It’s not really a sport, more like just a hobby, she thinks.

Risa snaps out of her trance when Jaehwan says, “You could at least try to invite me to outer space. I’d love to see how it is like there, Hongri.”

She blinks several times. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You were spacing out.” He comments, then realizes what he just said. “Sorry, bad pun. But it’s true. What were you thinking of?”

People would either get shocked or laugh at her for hanging out with her ex in this very comfortable manner. To Risa, it isn’t as weird as it should be. She and Ken ended things in a good order; the closure so proper that it almost eclipsed the agonizing pain that the fallout entailed.

“Certain things.” She answers. “Jaehwan…do you ever feel like being torn between two important people—I mean things, at the same time?”

He stares at her, but all he could see in her eyes is sad gravity. “You still don’t know, do you?”

“Know what?”

He sighs with a sorry smile. “The very reason why I broke up with you.”

“But—” she double-takes. “But I was the one who broke up with you,”

“It was all part of the plan, Hongri.” He only continues when she looks at him. “I was torn. Don’t hate me, but I think this is the best time to confess.”

Her silence prods him to go on.

“Hongri, I loved you. I really did. I loved you more than I even love myself. I mean that. But I was torn, too; I don’t know how you’re torn now, but I’ve also had my share of the experience. I had this wicked plan. But before that, I made a discovery. It was a discovery that practically shattered my world,” here he takes her left hand, and stares dejectedly at the shining little stone on the halo around her finger. “Don’t hate me now, please; but Sanghyuk’s my friend, yes? The truth is, I unintentionally discovered that the two of you were bound to be married, way before both of you knew,”

Something aches in Risa’s chest, but it doesn’t drive her mad. A tad betrayed, yes, but she quickly realizes that there’s nothing she could do about it now. She understands, though she wishes that she should have been less blind back then.

“The Hans once went to our house for tea. I was going to my room when I happened to pass by the room they were in. Sanghyuk’s parents told my folks of their plans about you two.”

“Was Sanghyuk there?”

“No,” a certain ray of light from the sun hits the stone on Risa’s ring, and as it is refracted, Jaehwan looks away, as if the ray had stung his eye. “Your parents…you and Sanghyuk’s…play their cards very well, Hongri-ah. You do know that, right?”

She nods despondently.

“They knew of our relationship. And Sanghyuk’s parents said that so the Tsukamoto-Hongs wouldn’t have to go through much pain, they’re just going to ‘clear the way’ for the engagement.”

“Let me guess: they paid your parents so you’d break up with me?”

“Gosh, no. It’s even worse than that.”

“What, then?”

“They said they would buy all the shares we have in their empire, so there’d be nothing for us left. And if we—or they—still refused, they would have all we have.”

Risa’s saliva suddenly feels like dust. She never knew she had put Jaehwan go through so much trouble.

“In a nutshell, they coerced us.” Jaehwan laughs dryly. It’s not even a happy memory, nor is it a sad one. It’s just the best he could react with, right now. Because that’s what the past is: no matter what or how you feel towards it, nothing about it will be ever changeable.

“I…I’m sorry…” winds eventually from Risa.

“No, no; don’t be sorry,” he chuckles, squeezing her left hand gently. “There’s nothing we can do about it, is there?”

She’s quiet, and he takes that as a sign of agreement.

 “You know, there were only two times when I felt the heaviest density of how madly in love I was with you,” He continues on. “Sure, I showed you my love daily, but on those two very rare occasions, I nearly cried.”

She smiles so wide it almost hurts.

“The first time was during Valentine’s Day in junior year, when you accepted the flower I gave. The second time was when I made that discovery.” He could see her eyes shining, as if with tears. “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. But after having heard everything, when I got a hold of myself again, I came to the horrid conclusion: I should really break up with you. What we had before us was beyond us. Even our love wasn’t enough. I loved you, I really did, but I love my parents too. I don’t want all of their hard work just go to the hands of that family. I know, I ought to have tried harder; fought for and with you, but I wanted to lessen the chaos that was imminent,”

“Do you think you did?” her tone isn’t sharp, merely very curious.

“I’m not pretending to be a saint, but I hope I’ve had. I know it was painful for you, but leaving is almost as painful as being left, Risa.” He answers. “You asked me why I kept on avoiding you and why I acted like a jerk that you said I was no longer the Jaehwan you fell in love with. Honestly, that was still me, but it was the desperate me. Look what I did: I exasperated you, made you cry; I pushed you to your limits till you couldn’t take it anymore, and you decided to break up with me.” His hold on her hand loosens. For someone who’s shocked, Risa’s showing a pretty mild expression. She just stares down at her lap, lips folded, now just seeing the matter with Jaehwan’s eyes—their breakup as seen from his perspective.

“I didn’t want to tell you that I should break up with you, either. I would’ve as well killed myself. I wanted you to hate me, so you could have every reason to push me away. I thought that would make me feel better, less guilty and all, but…I was wrong.” Jaehwan can’t believe he’s saying this after all these years. Risa has always been an understanding person, but he has always wanted to fully explain himself. “Well, here’s the answer to that, and sorry if the delay took almost five years,”

Risa recalls their meeting at a café, when she returned to him all the things that had his identity with it, along with the announcement that she was going to break up with him.

“I’m sorry. I should be the one apologizing.” His tone is soft, but the impact is just as strong as a scream. “As much as I want to say that I wasn’t toying with you, I know that in the eyes of God and man that’s what seemed like I did. But I did all that because I loved you.”

“But if you loved me—”

“Hongri.” He cuts in before she even gets started. “I know what you’re going to say. But I just said it a while ago, remember? I didn’t want to make it much worse for you. Had I not done that, not only your parents or Sanghyuk’s would force you. Mine would also do, too, guaranteed. I didn’t want you to get mobbed by blackmails if I could help it. I don’t know what tricks they still had up their sleeves but I knew they were worse than we could imagine. And, Risa, you know what they say…”

She closes her eyes.

“Love is letting go.”

When the painful constriction of relaxes, she heaves a breath, and gracefully wipes the corner of her eye with a finger. “It’s alright.” She says, finally.

“And it shall always be,” he agrees, though it’s not the answer best fit. “You and Sanghyuk will be happy, I’m sure of that.”

She thinks so, too, but part of her still doubts. They just officially started the “getting-to-know-each-other” part a few days ago. “You really think so?” she looks at him.

He senses the hopefulness in her tone, so he smiles in reassurance, putting his hand on top of her head in a brotherly gesture, “Yes, I do think so.”

They went to this golf course but never did they play. But sitting in a golf cart and confronting the past is much better, Risa thinks.

“But just never forget: what we had between us will always be special.” Jaehwan says, with a little cockiness, but it’s true, and just really pointing out a given fact.

“I know.” She nods with a smile. “Will you be there at our wedding?”

“The date’s settled, already?” he exclaims, excited.

“No,” she shakes her head. “Not yet. I’m just making sure.”

“Well then, of course I will. Are you inviting me?”

“What does it seem like?” she laughs.

“It’ll be my greatest pleasure!” he declares.

A little later, Jaehwan drives her back to the city. Along the way, something that Jaehwan says disturbs Risa.

“You haven’t told me about what you’re ‘torn’ about.” He points out. “But I don’t think you would’ve told me, either. But, Hongri, if you ask me, whatever that is you’re going through—think of it as a coin. You can only have either heads or tails.”

She’s dazed, and only comes back to reality when the car pulls over for a stop.

“Well, it was nice chatting with you again, Hongri.” her ex says, before she hops off. “Sanghyuk isn’t going to reprimand me for this, I hope?”

Risa laughs. “He won’t, trust me. I’ve got you under my wings,”

They share a laugh, and part of Risa sighs with relief that they’re close friends now, if not lovers. No tension between them at all, just an abyss of bittersweet memories and unsolved what ifs.

“See you around?” she asks expectantly.

“See you around.” He replies. But before Risa opens the door, Jaehwan leans in, much to her surprise, and her insides scream a certain name when he kisses her on the forehead, making her realize that their longing for each other from the past still branches out to the present. “I miss you.” He says, but it isn’t romantic, only very heartbreakingly true. “And perhaps I always will.”

“Same here.” The corners of Risa’s mouth curl up with a scintilla of blues in them, after briefly closing her eyes. “See ya, Ken,” she waves at him as he waves back, just before she closes the door.

Risa hopes that she won’t ever have to hear those words again, but her wisdom tells her that she will, and it’s inevitable. Only it will be from another person.

 

--

 

Coincidence befriends them.

Sanghyuk and Dr Cha, though inadvertently share a common circle of friends, are not that close. They would only do the “checking-out-my-buddy” thing when chance compels them to. Now a month and a half after Risa and Sanghyuk’s morning exercise, only then do the vet and Hyuk happen to meet again. It’s a chilly, cloudy Seoul noon as the early signs of the fall are beginning to show, and Sanghyuk decides to go out for a while to get coffee, at the same time as Dr Cha does. The former’s on his way back to the office when his arm bumps against something, and gladly his cup is tightly shut lest he would’ve scorched his hand. “I’m sorry! Aigoo, I’m sorry!” he frantically says after regaining his stance; the bump was a little too strong.

“Ah, it’s alright,” the person pats his sleeves and both are just in time to look at each other. “Sanghyuk-ssi!”

“Dr Cha!” the other male exclaims, surprised and genuinely pleased to see his friend here.

And they shake hands on the spot, glad to see each other at first, but it doesn’t take long for them to recall the faint but hovering rivalry in the air. Let bygones be bygones in other matters, but never in love.

They eye each other for quite a long while, sizing up one another in quiet scrutiny.

“So,” says the vet, after a while. “How’s Mr Fluffball? Is it doing well?”

“It’s very well,” Hyuk smiles, looking down for a while, then aims his gaze back at the person before him. “We—Risa-ssi takes care of it very well.”

“Glad of that. How is the lovely Miss Hong?”

“Lovely as always,” the younger one replies, just to spite him, and to see how he would react to such teasing. Much to his dismay, whatever Hakyeon thinks of that, he’s excellent at hiding it beneath his demeanour. This vet is the master of aplomb, anyway. “She looks for you sometimes.” His mouth admits without the permission of his brain.

“Well, the clinic is always open. Kindly tell her that,”

“Yes, I will.” Sanghyuk laughs, it’s a little faked. Suddenly thinking of an idea to do her a favour, he tells the vet, “Say, hyung, are you free on Wednesday?”

“Hmm, my schedule can be cleared for other matters. Why?”

“I think Risa-ssi would like to see her friend. How about an early dinner then?”

Hakyeon’s not sure what to make of the invitation; he can’t decide whether Sanghyuk’s playing with his cards or just really being sincere. His friend has this ability to speak wheedlesomely that he can mask his true intentions sometimes. But then on a second thought, despite whatever may be running through Sanghyuk’s mind right now, it would be profanation, moreover, social suicide, to refuse an offer so gracefully presented.

They’ve concluded enough about each other to know that they both want to keep something—or someone for himself.

It’s got Risa in it, Hakyeon snickers with a subtle shake of the hand, as he finishes studying the invitation. “Deal; after clinic hours. Say, at the usual place?”

Their circle of friends has this favourite dining place just around Gangnam. Of course Sanghyuk knows what he’s thinking. He’s brought Risa there a few weeks ago. “Yes,” he says, and that seals it all.

They bid each other a goodbye and a good day before each go on his way.

 

--

 

“Well?”

“Well what?”

Sanghyuk sighs. “What do you think about it?”

“Is it a birthday?” Risa looks at him, having been interrupted from her absorbed reading. “An anniversary, a promotion, or anything worth celebrating?”

“No,” he settles next to her on the couch, opening his laptop to continue the paperwork he had left. “Just dinner.”

“Sanghyuk-ssi, is this a date I’m hearing?” she says with so much frankness, his ears turn red.

“What? N-no, I-I just want to s-surprise you!” he stutters, suddenly abashed. Good thing his fiancée seems to be blind to his embarrassment.

“Alright then,” she shrugs, and goes back to reading. They’re taciturn for the next while, and Hyuk can’t concentrate on what he’s doing for he’s torn between eyeing the screen and eyeing her.

When he can no longer stand the itching urge to talk to her, he calls, “Risa-ssi?”

“Hmm?”

He doesn’t understand why he feels quite beside himself. “What’s that about?”

“This?” she gestures showing her book.  “It’s a love story, but a tragic one.”

“How’d you know the ending? Have you read that before?”

“No. I just know the synopsis.” She extends her arm, showing it to him with an air of gentle pride.

Amicably taking the offered object, he scans the pages, but makes a face. “This is in Japanese.”

“It is.”

“What does this even mean?”

“But don’t you know Japanese?”

“I do. A little.” a crease forms between his brows, trying to make something out of the lines. “But they have their names in English, why is this?”

Risa crawls closer to where he is. Her black hair with yellow streaks at the end gives more emphasis to the thick coil cascading down her shoulders. Sanghyuk was there when she had that hairstyle, as he also had a haircut that day. Risa was the one who proposed that they have some sort of “bonding time,” and how he laughed when she said they would go to the salon. “Katakana is easier to read, I see,” Risa smiles. She smells of lavender and newly-washed bedsheets and sleep, everything cozy and his future wife. “They’re clones. They’re supposed to donate organs to people. That’s the only thing they live for.”

“Never Let Me Go, eh…” Sanghyuk wraps his sight on the cover.

“Kazuo Ishiguro,” his fiancée nods. “I like him.”

“But isn’t Murakami your favourite?”

“How’d you know?”

He colours a little. “Well, that can be easily inferred from your huge collection,” he looks at the bookshelf behind her. An entire row in the shelf is occupied by Haruki Murakami’s works.

“What about you, Sanghyuk-ssi?” she sits comfortably beside him. “What’s your favourite book?”

“Accounting For Dummies.” He jests.

Risa pulls a face. “I mean novel, duh.”

“I like to read, but now I rarely get to. I spend my time crunching numbers,” he eyes the ceiling. Risa’s smell makes him a little sleepy. “But I do have some books I like…for example, that one called The Little Prince,”

She smiles smugly with a nod. “Good choice. Why that?”

“The story’s really heart-warming. Some people are just meant for us to meet, but they don’t get to stay.”

Out of nowhere, an image of Dr Cha appears in her mind. “T-that’s…pretty deep…” she blinks several times, slowly dropping her gaze.

He snickers, not noticing the sudden downfall of her mood. “But they get to touch us, make us learn some things we think we know…it’s funny, it discusses matters of consequence.”

“’You talk just like the grown-ups!’” Risa mimics the Little Prince, smiling to herself, only to be followed by a sad, deep sigh.

“Hey…what’s wrong?” he says with worry, finally noticing her sad look. “Sorry for the sudden word-vomit there, by the way,”

“Nothing, nothing…” she dismisses absentmindedly. Something inside her aches all of a sudden.

He senses that this is something perhaps beyond him, and though Risa is here, physically, her mind is somewhere he cannot reach, and it makes him feel like they’re strangers all over again. Maybe they won’t ever be as close as they’re supposed to be. “Risa-ssi…”

She wakes up from the sort of trance she is in, and restarts, with fake renewed energy, “You know what? Can’t we just drop the formalities?”

His stare at her must be harder than he supposes, because she laughs.

“Stop calling me with ‘-ssi’, and I with you. How does that sound?”

“How do you want me to address you then, Miss Tsukamoto-Hong?”

“Well, how do you want to call me?”

He balks. “Risa-ssi?”

“Drop the formalities!”

“Ri….Risa…?”

“Sounds good.”

“Risa…chan,”

She puts a hand on , stifling a chuckle. “You’re funny, Sanghyuk-ssi,” then she flinches, as the boy a brow.

“I thought we should drop the formalities?” he smirks.

“Alright; sorry, sorry. As I am Risa-chan, how do you want to be addressed?”

“You decide,”

She ponders with her index finger on her chin. “Hyuk-bou.”

“Bou?” then he flattens his eyes at her when she laughs. “Don’t bully me just because I’m no Japanese,”

“I wasn’t,” but he still thinks it’s an inside joke. “I’ll just call you ‘Hyuk-chin’ or ‘Sanghyuk-kun’; how about that?”

“Japanese and Korean mixed together is a bit…odd. But, deal.”

“Great. Let’s shake on this,” she proffers a hand, and they close the deal with a handshake.

Just in time the Chinese food they ordered arrives. Sanghyuk opens the door as Risa clears the table. It’s quite a feast, and they eat in the living room while watching the movie The Karate Kid.

Sanghyuk notices that Risa isn’t quite like other girls; she prefers movies with guns or anything with an action genre over fluffy chick flicks. Also, she likes tuning in to sport channels to see how the Korean soccer team is going and how her idols in the baseball league are doing.

He knows her, he thinks, but at the same time, he doesn’t. There are times when he catches himself looking at her and imagining what kind of traits their children are going to inherit from her: whether her love for almonds or her bookishness; but there are also times when he warily watches her with a certain kind of disappointment, because she seems more like a strange phantom in his dreams embodied into reality, however becoming more and more surreal with every time he gets to know her deeper.

Sanghyuk regards Risa in the light of a pond; kind of shallow to gaze at from above, but hiding many a thing beneath the surface. There are many things she tells him, but ever so much more the things she doesn’t. He spends a lot of time watching her, actually. Because if it were not so he wouldn’t get dismayed every time he finds her staring blankly out the window, seeming as though she ought to be somewhere else: physically present, mentally absent. Worse thing is, he knows the reason why she acts like that. There’s that hungry look in her eyes and though he wants to satisfy that certain longing of hers, he feels like he’s only doing half the job.

 It’s been two months, but Risa’s personality is the kind of soil in which things grow in slowly, but once they do, they are deep-rooted; hard to remove from the mind, how much more from the heart.

And that is why he invited Dr Cha to dinner, so she could see him.

He’s not only doing Risa a favour, he realizes later on, but also himself. He knows how things went between Jaehwan and her, and he’s afraid that he’s experiencing the same thing as his hyung.

“Love is letting go.” His hyung had told him once, in a night of whiskey and pool. They came upon the matter of how Risa and he broke up. “So you better take care of her, and I’ll be left in peace.”

He interrupts himself mid-gasp upon the realization: maybe he has finally learned to love her.

That’s the least of his problems now, if ‘problems’ be the best term used.

It drives him anxious, tomorrow. Part of him wants to cancel the dinner but that would be disgraceful and unmanly on his part. Besides, Risa would love to see him. When she’s happy, he would be, too, even if the cost would be having himself uncomfortable.

When they’re cleaning up and washing the things they used, Sanghyuk hums the English song that has been stuck in his head for the entire day.

“Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket,” his hums turn to actual singing, small mumbles slowly loudening into words with the rising and falling of the voice, while he washes the plate beside Risa. “Never let it fade away. Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket—”

“Save it for a rainy day,” Risa continues, glancing at him. “Funny, that song passed by my head today.”

“Well it’s been stuck in my head for like the entire day,” he scrunches his nose with a grin.

“Hyuk-chin, I didn’t know you have a really nice voice,” Hyuk-chin’s cheeks feel ticklish at the compliment.

“So they said.”

“No, really; it’s lovely,”

“Jaehwan-hyung has an even better voice, though.”

“Yes, I know.” and her eyes droop a little with a smile, remembering the better times. “There were many times when I would call him in the middle of the night to ask him to sing for me because I couldn’t sleep.”

He tries to imagine himself doing that, but he could never par with what had been between them, or so he thinks. “That’s cute,”

“We were so cheesy, sometimes it was disgusting,” Risa says, her mind yet again floating in outer space. “And then when I’m lulled to sleep I forget to hang up, and the next day he would complain that he didn’t get enough sleep because of me,”

There’s a pause, and then Sanghyuk says, “You really did love him, didn’t you?” the question slips out involuntarily.

Risa throws him a look that needs no words.

“Sorry, that was rude to ask. Never mind me, I—”

“I did. Very. He meant the world to me, you know.” she shrugs. “But we’ve both moved on.”

“He hasn’t.”

“He has. Believe me,” she winks. “Now where were we, before you so basely digressed? Ah, your voice.” She puts the plate on the rack for drying. “Can you sing something else? A slow song, maybe?”

He starts singing Arirang in her face, until Risa smacks him on the arm.

“Something else!” she hisses.

After a giggling fit, he clears his throat, “Fine. Here goes,” and, inhaling a huge ball of air, he sings Kim Sungjae’s As I Told You in a much slower rhythm.

“Goodness gracious, that was hot,” Risa fans herself with a hand, after he sings. “Now come along, Hyuk-chin, you ought to be home by this time; you have work on the morrow.” She spins him around, and pushes him by the shoulders all the way to the living room.

She hands him his bag, asking him if his things are in there: car keys, wallet, phone, et cetera. Sanghyuk rogers that all are in, thinking if Risa is starting to live up to the wife role or she’s just unconsciously doing this.

“You know, for someone who’s tired from work, you still look pretty good.” She says, straightening his tie though it doesn’t need any.

“I get to spend my evenings here so I’m not as tired as I should be,” he replies, and they’re fairly competing on who’s more flattered.

“Off you go now. See you tomorrow,”

“Yes, see you Risa-chan,” and he practices a little, saying, “Mata aa,” which makes her glow, apparently.

(Maybe they’ll outgrow the bowing part, soon.)

After they bow at each other, he leaves.

 

The next day, Risa brings her book along.

When the car stops at the parking lot of the restaurant, she wonders why Sanghyuk doesn’t get down immediately. “Sanghyuk-kun?”

He tightens his lips while looking at his lap, seemingly trapped in some train of thought.

“Hyuk-chin.”

He wakes up, and shakes his head with a sharp breath. “Nothing, sorry, I just—well, let’s get down.” He goes down first and opens the car door for Risa.

When she stands, she inquires, “Are you okay? You seem a little pale,” she reaches out to check his temperature, but before her hand could even touch his neck, he jerks away, leaving Risa slightly offended.

“Nothing! It’s nothing, really.” She’s wearing a dark brown dress with a beige belt; earth colours for the fall season, he figures. Her hair’s tied up in a ponytail which gives her more of a regal bearing than an effeminate one.

“Come on,” they walk to the restaurant, and Risa’s surprised that the reserved table has a third seat. “Hyuk-chin,” she scowls.  “There’s another one coming?”

“Yeah,” it sounds more nervous than it should. He pulls a chair for her to sit on, and Risa thanks him.

When he’s settled on his chair she leans in. “Jaehwan, isn’t it?”

“You’ll see,” he smiles dryly, pushing down the anguish inside him.

She nods, still completely oblivious, and Sanghyuk’s thankful for the book that she’s reading, so there’s something to distract her. While they wait, he pretends to fumble with his phone busily, but truth is, he’s just locking and unlocking the screen over and over again, so it would look like he’s doing something.

Finally, after about fifteen minutes, the special guest arrives, and as Risa’s back is on him, she couldn’t see him; besides, she’s busily reading, as shown from her scowling face. Sanghyuk smiles upon seeing his hyung but his mouth twitches a little. Half of his mind reprimands him for the responsibility for this arrangement. He hasn’t eaten yet, but he almost throws up because of the tension.

“Hello.”

Oh my god. She’s about to turn the page when she stops mid-breath, her heart literally skipping a beat at that voice. Her hands are cold, very, as they turn so all of a sudden. She’s practically paralyzed in her seat, unable to think, move, or even breathe.

She has always wanted to see him.

“I apologize for my tardiness. Some canine emergency came up,” the veterinarian laughs as he draws out a chair and deliberately taking a seat, at Risa’s right.

“Hello, Sanghyuk-ssi,” Dr Cha Hakyeon bows slightly. “Hello, Miss Hong.”

“Yes, hello, Dr Cha.” Her fiancé affably replies. “It’s alright; we understand.”

She swallows her entire being, setting aside whatever makes her uncomfortable, but unfortunately that’s very hard to do, and certainly she could not request Dr Cha to get out of her sight to make this easier for her. “Yes, hello, doc; what a pleasant surprise Sanghyuk-kun has prepared for me!” she grins, pretty convincing for someone who’s lying, unconsciously crumpling a page of the book she’s reading when she clenches her fist.

“So he didn’t mention that he’d invite me?” goodness gracious, Risa swears she could melt right now. Despite of the fact that her pores are all screaming in uneasy quietude, she loses herself upon the sight of the veterinarian. His red hair has lost its colour now; now it’s black, neatly styled; he looks younger compared to when she saw him last.

I should stop, she tells herself.

“H-he didn’t,” she glances at her fiancé.

Here the waiter arrives to give them menus, which buys Risa at least ten minutes of breathing time.

“What would you like, Risa…chan?” Sanghyuk sheepishly smiles at her. She understands why he feels a little shy; this is the first time someone would witness them addressing each other with their new names. But that doesn’t shake off the irritating feeling she feels towards her fiancé; a little resentment, a little anger, and a little guilt, all simmering down at the pit of her stomach.

Cha Hakyeon’s her guilty pleasure. That’s true.  But these past few weeks she has convinced herself that perhaps she would eventually forget about her heart’s little folly towards the vet if she didn’t see him, and if she spends more time with Sanghyuk. Now Sanghyuk’s messing up her already messed-up feelings—something that’s at the bottom-most part of the list of the things she needs; in other words, he’s not doing her a favour.

Risa has been to many awkward dinners, but this one compares not a whit. A few minutes after the doctor seats himself, she sees that Sanghyuk seems to be enjoying this. There’s that infuriating, handsome smile of his; his eyes forming miniature crescents, and the sickening feeling in her gut worsens. He’s not to be blamed, she knows, for the vet is his friend, but as irrational as her anger has brought her, she feels betrayed. Why did he invite him here? Does he not know how uncomfortable it would make her? Long ago Sanghyuk has known that she has feelings for the doctor, but how dare he use that against her?

How she survives the dinner she would never know, but she manages to pull through the entire hour. The veterinarian and the accountant do most of the talking, with Risa very rarely butting in: only when she’s being asks for confirmation or opinion, or whenever she feels like she could talk.

They talk with ease, Hakyeon and Hyuk, and she wonders whether men might sometimes be like girls too; if they can hide animosities beneath the surface and pull off convincing charades of sweet smiles and nods.

Before they get to the final course, dessert that is, Sanghyuk excuses himself, with the reason that he has to answer a call. The other two let him. Hyuk goes away, phone in hand.

She thought that this night could not get any worse. How horridly wrong she was. As soon as they are left alone, she spends half a mind to follow her fiancé’s example; to go away just to escape the suffocating milieu. She feigns poking the floral set at the center of their table with the butter knife, which makes the brows of the several old ladies on the next table arch.

The entire time she does this, the vet in front of her just looks at her with a self-contented smile, apparently enjoying the view. Miss Hong is absolutely most amusing to look at when she’s in that absentminded state.

She wakes up from her trance when she notices a piece of tissue paper being slipped next to her plate, and she looks down to see something written:

 

Hello :)

 

From whom should it come from but the person in front of her. She looks up, and laughs awkwardly. “Oh, gosh, sorry, I’m just really…distracted.”

“How have you been, Miss Hong?”

She almost loses herself, on the verge of muttering a dreamy, drunken “Yes…?” until she shakes herself. “I am alright. The fluffball is alright.”

“I was asking about you…like, you. I figured maybe we could catch up while Sanghyuk’s out answering some calls?”

She wills herself to relax, leaning a little on the back-rest of her chair. “Well,” she smirks. “Where do you want to start?”

 “I don’t know, maybe clearing up some things or something?”

Risa doesn’t even have to guess what he means. She takes the tissue paper and holds it lithely with her hands. If this is the time to settle this, then let it be. “Clear up what?”

“You know what I’m talking about, Miss Hong.” The friendliness in his tone has disappeared, and all that’s left is seriousness; it’s not deadly, but enough to tug at her effectively. “If you so much as missed me, why didn’t you come to the clinic?”

She scoffs. “Are you attacking me?”

“No,” he smiles. “I’m saying that I missed you.”

Holy cows, Risa thinks as she almost clutches her chest, where her heart should be. “You are attacking me.” She mutters.

Have you ever heard a boy laugh? Well, from a girl’s point of view, it’s one of the best things. Not the kind of laugh when a joke is spoken, or when a prank is pulled, but the kind of laughter that breaks out because of mere, true amusement. To Risa, the doctor laughs like that. Not like a man, but like a boy. And it’s perhaps the loveliest sound she has ever heard, second to Sanghyuk singing for her, despite of his claims that her former lover has a better voice. “You wanted to see me?”

“Who said that?”

“Sanghyuk.”

She feels irritated at the sound of his name. She scrunches her nose. “Well, yeah.”

“Glad of that.” Is what he says, and from Risa’s view, she sees him taking something out from his pocket. “Here. I thought you missed these,” he tosses a pouch of the biscuits he used to give her.

She stares hard at it for about a minute. When she’s made up her mind, she takes it with both of her hands, and, looking at him to facially ask whether she can open it, he nods. She opens the little plastic pouch, and gingerly takes out a lion. “Thanks,” she smiles hesitantly with a hand covering after she swallows her first bite. Her personal ambrosia is still as tasty as ever.

“You’re welcome,” he replies, but he wants to do something more than just giving her those biscuits. He wants to say something, just to set him free from the feelings that have been oppressing him for months now. Hey, I like you. Don’t mind me, I just want to tell you that I like—no, actually I love you. I know it was just a couple of days, never enough, but I want you to know that before you get married. It’s alright if you don’t love me back. And I also want to tell you that I’m sorry, because I burden you with this. Ignore me; I just want to give this some proper closure. Hakyeon imagines himself saying those things, but everything is jammed in his throat.

“Do you think we could ever have a chance?” winds from the girl in front of him. There’s that absentminded look on her face again, as she looks at the surface of the table.

“A…chance?” he deadpans. His mind reels into some fictional futurity; he enters his clinic on a glum, autumn day and he finds someone already inside. It’s not a pet owner. It’s a girl wearing scrubs, and she smiles pleasantly at him while showing him the records of some Labrador that’s under medication. She says something, but she can’t hear him, besides it doesn’t matter because she’s right here, right now, with no halo around her left ring finger, no restrictions from her parents whatsoever. No more stupid arranged marriages; she can work at the kindergarten on weekdays, and be his assistant in the clinic during weekends, and they would have dinners every night to their hearts’ content. That would be his definition of perfect.

Boy, does Dr Cha have an imagination.

He wakes up from his reverie, and he’s back to the disappointing reality which he belongs to. He opens his mouth, but nothing smart comes out. He’s just stuck there asking the same question as her.

Meanwhile Sanghyuk, observing from his post a few feet away, has been enjoying and hurting over the view all this while. He just made up that excuse so he could give them time together. The selfish side of him made him want to go back to the table, but he pinned the urge down, because seeing Risa happy with Dr Cha is the reward in itself. The first moments were awkward, but now they’re talking: his friend has even given Risa something that looked like a pouch. Thinking that maybe twenty minutes is enough, and he could see the waiter delivering their desserts, he walks his way back to their table, unknowingly stymieing the most crucial part of their confabulation.

“I’m back,” he announces, and his brows arch when he sees that both turn pale. There’s a mutual sad look in their eyes, and Sanghyuk wants to ask why.

Risa almost breaks the wine glass in her hand. As much as she’s thankful to Sanghyuk that he’s brought the vet here, she’s mad. Mad beyond words because of the same reason. She’s mad because she feels like her fiancé has mocked her. She doesn’t care whatever his reason is: she’s just really mad.

Dr Cha hasn’t even answered her question yet.

Dessert isn’t as delicious as it should be, but at least the rest of the dinner is a lot smoother. Risa manages to pull through, she has no choice anyway, and before she knows it they’re all making their way out to the door. Dr Cha bids the couple a good night before he goes.

Having been left by the vet, Risa and her fiancé tread the parking court while holding hands. Now this wasn’t the girl’s idea, for just a few moments ago, before they stepped out of the resto, the guy deliberately took her hand and hasn’t let go since. Realizing this, Risa sveltely slips out her hand, leaving Sanghyuk offended and sad. “Sorry,” he mutters, but Risa doesn’t respond.

They go into the car, and off they drive.

It’s a twenty-five-minute drive to her apartment, and in the middle of which, it starts to rain. Not just any rain, but a raging downpour.

They don’t turn the stereo on; just the violent pitter-pattering of the raindrops against the glasses of the car as their background music.

“Why did you do that?” asks Risa, the calmness of her tone startling Sanghyuk.

“Do what?”

“Don’t play coy. Why did you do that?” it sounds like an angry viper’s hiss now.

“Risa, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He takes his eyes off the windshield for a while to glance at her, only to find out that her expression is darker than the skies.

“Really, Sanghyuk? Really?” she exclaims, ostensibly miffed. “You know, don’t you? You’ve always known, all along!”

“What? What are you saying?”

“You invited Dr Cha, that’s what you did.” Her voice trembles. The simmering has gone to explosion now. “You did that to spite me!”

“I would never do that! I invited Dr Cha because I know you would be pleased to see him!” he raises his tone, too, but he’s not mad. Or at least, he tries not to be. “I did you a favor!”

“Did I ask you to do that? Did I? You know I have feelings for him, and you took advantage of that. Do you have any idea how hard I’ve been trying? Do you know how it is to—to act up this stupid engagement so I wouldn’t get into trouble? And now here you are, acting like a saint.” She snickers. “Tell me, what do you hope to gain from this?”

Where are all these coming from? “See? It even came from you, yourself! You love him! And I’m just nothing but this guy whom you’re stuck with; just a damned spectator in your love story. So you’re offended? So you’re mad? Did you ever think that maybe this hurts me too? Have you even tried asking yourself that this whole hour? It’s all about you, isn’t it? Now you attack me out of nowhere, branding me a spiteful —”

“—I wasn’t saying—”

“—I never hoped to gain anything from this! I just wanted to see you happy!”

“Why do you keep pushing me away?!”

“Push you away?” he gasps.

“Yes! Yes, you keep on pushing me away! I thought you were sincere with the apology that you couldn’t let me love another guy, and you think you’re just a spectator in my love story, but you really just don’t know, do you?” she pauses to breathe once, twice. “Sometimes I ask myself if you just don’t know, or you’re just utterly stupid.”

He thinks so hard he doesn’t answer. He figures that girls are even harder to solve than the expenses he cracks at the office. “What are you saying?” he asks breathless, helpless.

But his question is left hanging in the air, as they just stormily eye each other for a long, hard while. Both don’t know how long it lasts but Sanghyuk realizes it has ended when he hears a zipping sound, when Risa unbuckles her seatbelt. She changes her voice to a hushed one, “Pull over.”

“It’s storming out there. I can’t let you—”

“Pull. Over. Now.”

He doesn’t know how she really does that, but he blindly obeys, and, without coat or umbrella, the girl bravely, furiously steps out into the rain, drenching herself as soon as she gets out of the car.

And Sanghyuk could only stare uselessly at the view of Risa’s back marching down the sidewalk, the rain mercilessly slamming down on her. He realizes then, that as the figure recedes, maybe he’s become his Jaehwan-hyung without knowing. More than the fact that he’s willing to hurt himself just to satisfy her, is that he discovers, at long last, that he loves Hong Risa.

 

As Exupéry would put it, “one runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tame.” Not to hint that Risa or Hyuk does this after their fallout, but certainly the two are affected by what happened, for the next few days they have a hard time coping with a certain kind of loss they could not quite name. While the accountant daily goes to his office to solve figures, the preschool teacher is confined in her home, sick and feverish for taking a bath in the rain.

Meanwhile, the third party isn’t flourishing that much, either. Albeit he does not become as emotionally-unstable as the other two after the dinner, Dr Cha finds himself distracted most of the times of the day. His newly-hired intern Hongbin (he’s friends with him, too) asks him why he’s like that often. After much stealthy investigation, the intern concludes that some girl trouble is at hand.

Hakyeon was right, after all. Even before Risa volunteered to be his temporary assistant, he knew that that girl is fond of that man.

“Do you think we could ever have a chance?” her words ripple across his mind, and even when that small memory is all that’s left, it still hurts. He feels disgusted with himself every time he sees himself in the mirror—bawling over some love trouble that he once thought was unworthy of his attention and time. Now it’s consumed almost all of him.

Maybe he could…possibly. Perhaps he could—

“Sir?” Hongbin blinks as he peeks his head in. He calls him so when it’s clinic hours.

“Ah, yes?” the doctor looks up from his desk, swiftly putting on his “Dr Cha” façade.

“Do you want me to order out your lunch, your dinner, or both?”

“Just my lunch please,” Hakyeon smiles. “By the way, I’ll be treating you out tonight for dinner so be good.”

His intern squeals. “Roger that!”

When he disappears, the veterinarian sighs. Hongbin was just hired into this job two weeks ago, what would he do if his boss leaves?

 

 

--

 

“Who is it?” Sanghyuk says to the intercom.

“He says he’s your father’s secretary, sir. I wasn’t able to stop him, he said it was so urgent; he’s already made his way upstairs—” and he doesn’t hear the rest of it because the person looking for him has already found his office.

Sanghyuk, alarmed, quickly rises from his seat. If he’s visited by his father’s secretary himself, this is something important. Gravely important.

“Young master,” he says, and Sanghyuk is reminded how annoying it is to be addressed like that. He’s not Goo Junpyo, for Pete’s sake.

“What brings you here?” he hisses. The last time he checked, they were at Turkey closing some deals.

“Your father has an announcement. It’s about you.”

 

--

 

Matter-of-factly, Risa and Sanghyuk’s little feud lasts for almost a week. The entire time, they shut off each other from their lives—no calls, no messages, no sign or flare at all, as if they’re oblivious of each other’s existence. To others it might seem like just another week, but to Sanghyuk he’s groaning in eternal misery. But at last his agony is put to an end when one rainy, stormy evening, his phone beeps, and the caller ID shows ‘Hong Risa.’

“Hello?” he says cautiously, thinking a hundred morbid impossibilities per second.

“Hyuk-chin,” she says, and she’s crying. There are mewling sounds over the phone. “Hyuk-chin, Hyuk-chin,” she repeats, and her cries take Sanghyuk by the neck.

“What? What is it?” he almost yells. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s sad.” She sniffles. “It’s so sad,”

Before he even knows it he’s already making his way to the door. “Where are you? Are you home?”

“I’m at home,” says she. Then he hears more crying sounds.

“Why are you crying? What’s the matter, Risa? No, wait—stay there. I’ll go to your apartment. Don’t go anywhere else, okay? Stay put. Hang up now, it’s dangerous to make calls in this kind of weather. Don’t fret, okay? I’m coming. Don’t cry,” He coaxes, all in one breath, as he gets the small velvet box on the table. He goes to the garage, gets into his car, and drives off like fury.

Risa on the other hand, docilely does what her fiancé said, and a few minutes later she’s surprised when her doorbell rings continuously, and when she opens up, she sees a drenched, panting Han Sanghyuk.

“H-Hyuk…” she stutters. He’s wet like he’s taken an unplanned swim (or in this case, an unplanned bath).

“What’s wrong?” he rushes towards her, frantically checking her face, limbs, elbows and arms. “Why were you crying? Are you hurt anywhere? Are you okay? What’s wrong? Risa you have to tell me!”

“I’m not hurt anywhere,” Risa sniffs, and a great tear rolls down her cheek. “It’s sad…it’s so sad…” she covers the half of her face with both hands, and Sanghyuk sees that she’s holding Never Let Me Go.

As much as Sanghyuk wants to facepalm, he can’t belittle the cause of Risa’s trouble, especially when she sheepishly makes her way to his torso, leaning her forehead on his shoulder as if to ask for a hug.

He tentatively puts his arms around her, and he rubs the back of her head. “It’s alright, it’s alright…”

 

A little later, they’re settled on the floor, leaning their backs on the couch. There’s a towel over Sanghyuk’s back as he’s enjoying a mug of hot chocolate.

Risa sits hugging her legs, her chin settled on her knees, still sniffing.

“But do you like the story?” he asks, keeping the talk going so he could broach his father’s announcement later.

She nods slowly.

“You know…” he shifts in his seat, moving an inch closer to her. “The most remarkable endings are the sad ones.” And with a chill, he wonders if theirs will end like that, too. Especially having heard that news from his father.

She sighs.

“Hey,” he lightly elbows her with a smile. “Move on. That’s the heart of the story, yeah? That was what was supposed to happen. Now let’s talk about something else,” he grabs the remote and turns on the TV. “What do you want to watch?”

She manages to smile at the efforts he’s showing. “I don’t know. You pick,”

“If you say so, then.”

Risa tells him to change his clothes, and how she laughs when she has to lend him her oversized male pyjamas (which happen to be her favourite) but she shuts up when he takes off his shirt.

With the storm howling outside, the two sit comfortably inside the unit, finding in each other their own hearths (and to Sanghyuk, his heart, too). When the TV doesn’t do they play chess, and Sanghyuk lets Risa win.

When it ends it’s already bedtime, but when Risa whines that she doesn’t want to sleep as she doesn’t feel tired yet, the boy’s heart melts on the spot. Besides, if he were to choose where and how he would spend the few remaining hours, he would choose to be here with Risa.

They mutually refuse all kinds of entertainment, so they end up settling on their old positions a while ago.

Hyuk leans on the couch, finding the cold hard floor more comforting to sit on, for some unknown reason. “Can I ask you something? This will be the last time, and I promise we’ll put it behind us forever—”

She is so quick in her movement that it takes him by surprise. Before he has known it she has covered his mouth with both of her hands, and she says in a grave tone, “Don’t. Let’s not. Just don’t forget that you mean much more to me than you think,”

Sanghyuk is so astonished he almost passes out, but something makes him stay and live in the moment. It braces him onto where he is. Though vague, the statement assures him in a subtle yet strong way; all of a sudden he feels like he has something to look forward to. For after. Maybe after he has complied with what his father wants, when he comes back here he would know what that means.

He’s hoping that this “game of charades” has gone for real.

The next silence that follows is so awkward, the ability of both to think of a topic is paralyzed. Risa secretly hopes that he understood what she meant; if she so much as elaborate it, it would spoil her entire point. As the famous saying goes “Silence means yes,” and he’s really quiet now so maybe he knows.

They resort to the TV again, and when she turns it on and scans through the channels she stops at a channel that airs the anime, Ouran High School Host Club.

She smiles; laughs even, as she states, “This is one of my favorites!”

“What’s it about?”

“It’s about a girl who’s forced to pretend to be a boy so she could pay her debt. She broke a vase.”

“That’s not like one of those stories like, say, Hana Kimi, yeah?”

She shakes her head. “Not really; everyone in the Host Club knows she’s a girl.”

They watch for the next few minutes. They’re all laughs and side comments until they discover the point of the episode: it discusses about the story of a girl and a boy bound to be engaged, and the Host Club organizes a plan to make them realize that the characters love each other—apparently, the boy and the girl don’t know that they love one another, especially the girl, who keeps on denying her feelings.

Haply if Jaehwan were here right now he would’ve cheered loudly and twisted party poppers while fiercely declaring things like, “The gods have spoken!”

They don’t discuss it even to their kids very much later on, but both confess it was in this very moment the realization occurred: they’re undoubtedly, unconditionally, absolutely, like the characters in that episode.

“Why is the air so suddenly…” Risa mutters to herself. “Stuffy?”

Sanghyuk wants to laugh, affectedly that is, so he could cover up the extreme embarrassment that refuses to let go of him. All of a sudden the little velvet box in his jacket’s pocket (that he’s wearing right now) feels really heavy. He side-eyes Risa to check on her, and mistakes her for a tomato.

They’re stiff until the very end of the show, and when the ending theme rolls, their breaths ease at least a little. When he could finally speak up he says, with renewed spirits, though fake, “You sleepy yet?”

“Now that you mentioned it,” she says, surprised at herself for sounding eased, “A little. But I don’t want to sleep,” she yawns.

“Well then, I’ll turn off the lights and just let the TV on. You like that?”

“Yes, please.”

The strong winds outside have died out now; only the rain refuses to stop. He sits a little close to Risa the next time he sits down. He switches the channel to something else, cussing in his mind about the gods speaking and the universe laughing at them right now.

Minutes later, he remembers that he has to tell Risa, and he gets on with it, after gulping down his uncertainty. “Say, Risa-chan,” he glances at her. Much to his disappointment, her eyes are already droopy.

“Mm-yeah?”

“I need to tell you something,”

“Roll…” and she nearly electrifies Sanghyuk when her head slumps against his shoulder. She’s really trying hard to keep it together.

“Dad made an announcement.”

She mutters something in Japanese that he doesn’t quite catch (he thinks he hears “Nani?”), but he’s pretty sure it’s a response to him, so he shoulders on, “He said I ought to go somewhere. Stockholm.”

“Stockholm…?” she says weakly, her slumping onto him getting heavier each moment.

“Sweden. Stockholm, Sweden.” He sighs. When she doesn’t respond he asks, “Are you listening?”

But what he gets is a dreamy, “Hmm-mmm”.

“He said I’ll be there for maybe a few days. I think two or three, maybe.” He says, forgetting to be concerned whether she’s really listening or not. “I just want to say that…” he’s tempted to grab the little velvet box in his pocket but he restrains himself. “Maybe when I get back…I suppose we could…” he’s embarrassing himself. Good grief, he’s making a fool of himself. “We could get…you know…”

Risa mumbles something in Japanese again, and that’s when he knows that she’s already sleep-talking.

“…married…” he says, but it’s to himself now, as he knows she’s already lost in Dreamland. And he feels like he wants to be like Risa right now: assume that this is all just a dream. A sad dream.

A long, mute moment passes. Sanghyuk does nothing. The clock strikes midnight. It’s over. He kisses her head, and chants a small, “Good night, Hong Risa,” before he himself decides to get some rest, because maybe tomorrow the world would show him another kind of reality.

 

--

 

Cold sunlight streams through the windows the next day, as Risa stretches out her arms and yawns. Her eyes adjust to her environment. She has fallen asleep on the couch. She gets up groggily, trying to remember through her disorientation what happened last night.

A gasp escapes . Sanghyuk.

Risa jostles so rapidly from her position she doesn’t even hear herself crying out his name. She searches furiously into the rooms, the bathroom, until she comes into the kitchen.

Sanghyuk.

“Ri-risa…what’s the matter?” he blinks, suddenly interrupted from him making coffee.

She takes a step, then another, and another, and another one, until she reaches him. Very early in the morning, she tears up, and she slowly seizes him by the shoulders, stuttering his name in whispers over and over again.

“W-what’s wrong…?”

“Sanghyuk,” she gasps; another dew rolls down from her eye. “Hyuk-chin, Hyuk-chin.” She slowly slides down the floor, down, down, down, until she’s kneeling.

He’s appalled by all this, and in alarm, he joins her on the floor, kneeling on one joint. “Why are you crying?”

“I had a bad dream,” her lower lip is quivering. “You…you left me. You were going somewhere and you d-didn’t return—I-I didn’t see you ever again,”

“Risa…”

“But you told me something last night,” she gasps. “You…you were…”

“I’m sorry…” he bites his lip.

“Doko iku yo?”

“Sweden,” he slowly says, and that’s when everything falls apart. “Risa, I—”

“Bocchama,” another voice comes in the room. The two glance at the kitchen door, and there’s a Japanese man in suit standing there. It’s one of the Tsukamotos’ agents. “It’s time.”

Sanghyuk nods, and assists Risa in standing up. “I have one request.” He addresses the man at the door. “I’ll take Risa with me to the airport,”

The man seems to hesitate but he agrees. “Of course,”

 

--

 

 It’s a quiet trip to the airport. The entire while the pair sits close at the backseat, as Risa holds his hand, quite afraid that he might slip away if she lets him go. She doesn’t look at him, but the downcast look in her eyes, her slumped shoulders, and her head perpetually hung low screams more than her words can to Hyuk.

“Where are your things?” she asks him when they get to Gimpo.

“I’ve packed them up days ago,” he sighs. “Risa, I…I’m sorry for leaving on such short notice,”

“I understand,” she says, but she doesn’t sound thoroughly convinced. “But you will return, yeah?”

“Yes.”

A pause.

He has long prepared for this moment, and now he’s afraid.

Risa inhales a long breath, and shrugs, though is already painfully tight now. She swallows. “Just…” she wants to embrace him, just for a last memory, but what she ends up giving him are two awkward taps on the shoulder. “Take care,”

“I will…” maybe he should grab it out now. He clenches his fist.

Risa turns on one heel, just before she starts to cry, but when she’s already three feet away she’s halted.

“Wait.”

She turns, sobbing. He walks to her, and takes her hands into his, and she just stares at him in a flummoxed moment. His jaw trembles, and when his words fail, he lets his singing do the thing. “Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket…”

“What…” she stares dumbly when her fiancé starts taking off their engagement ring, and replaces it with another, prettier one.

“Save it for a rainy day...” he smiles. “Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, never let it fade away…”

“What are you doing…?”

“I know I’m really mushy and corny with this, but…just so I make it clear that…” he chuckles in embarrassment. “Uhh, have you ever heard of promise rings?”

“It’s pretty.” she hics. “Hyuk, I…”

“It’s alright; you don’t have to say anything,” now he’s on the verge of tears, too. “I just—well, I thought…”

But just then he’s interrupted, for Risa throws her arms around him, crying in gratitude.

Maybe it’s not so bad after all.

 

--

 

When all was said and done, and the plane had taken off for Sweden, Risa stares at the star-shaped stone on her ring, resolving to wait patiently for the accountant. She disposes of the animal biscuits, and carries on with her life with renewed energy, an excited heart, and a hopeful soul.

Both of them toil on gladly while they wait for the day of Sanghyuk to come back home; Risa does, especially, or at least, the merriest she can manage without him around.

Forty-eight hours after the Korean Air plane where Hyuk is in lands the Swedish ground, Risa receives the news from the Hans’ secretary that “young master” might be a little late in returning to Korea. This news, as it is delivered on the phone, quite saddens her, but the promise ring constantly reminds her to “never let her star fade away.”

The first three days, she understands why. Sanghyuk doesn’t give her a call or show any signs of greeting. The days pass, no improvement. It’s just plain impossible. There would be no way he would not commune with her. She tries contacting the Hans’ secretary that called her before, but something in the secretary’s vague answers disturbs her more than the blatant excuses.

Maybe…

No.

He wouldn’t do that. Risa shakes her head vigorously, getting rid of the grim thoughts that start to tickle the back of her mind.

Seconds become long minutes, minutes become agonizing hours; hours stretch to blind days and weeks, until the weeks turn into hopeless months.

Five months.

Risa wakes up one day to a gloomy cloudy morning, and questions whether she’s just swimming in a sea of dreams, or if this really is reality. It’s been five months; five months of no communication, five months of oblivion, five months of misery. Looking back, she sees how much of a fool she has been. She has fallen for his wheedlesome singing and even his little act of a promise ring—Risa asks herself, really, what was she thinking? She tried, but when the understanding was thrown into confusion, the confusion into real pain, and the pain into passiveness—she can’t figure out if she’s truly moved on, or she has finally gone numb. Hongri looks up at the ceiling blankly, wondering how long this is going to last.

 

--

 

The engagement was called off.

 

Sanghyuk looks at the tall, gothic-looking building to his right and asks himself if Risa already knows. Goodness knows how much, and how many times, he has tried to tell Risa that despite of their old arrangement nullified, that he still loves her, and always will, and that she should wait for him, till that blessed reunion comes.

But as things go at this rate, he can’t see however that “blessed reunion” will take place—or if it will ever take place, at all. No matter what he tries, all his communication directed to Korea is either cut off, or under tight surveillance. He’s not even allowed to contact his Jaehwan-hyung, his best friend, how much more Risa?

Five months. Risa is probably going to kill him when he gets back to Korea (if that will ever happen). If he were her, he’d aim to do the same too. He’d punch the living daylights out of him should a chance ever present itself.

“Mr. Han?” a Korean-speaking Swedish lady peeks into the room. “Your father is here. He wishes to have an audience with you.”

He grunts under his breath, straightening his tie. “Fine. Tell him I’m coming,”

As he walks across the long corridor, the matter that’s been disturbing him ever since he took off Gimpo Airport makes him shudder yet once more.

What if Hakyeon-hyung…?

 

--

 

“It’s raining; I’m at Hongdae. I don’t think I could go there,” Risa says over the phone. Ken responds with roger, saying that it’s alright, and that she should take care on her way home.

“Darn it,” Risa grits her teeth; it’s raining really hard and she has no umbrella. A thought crosses her mind for a split-second; she suddenly remembers Sanghyuk and incorrigible lack of umbrella, and his exceptional laziness in buying one. She looks up at the black sky, standing under the awning. “The sky is dark, just like my life,” she complains.

She waits and waits for the rain to stop, but nothing ever happens. “Well, no one can save me but myself,” she tells herself, and starts her little alley-hopping, that is, running from awning to awning to shield her drenched self from the downpour.

It’s dangerous to walk further, she realizes, as from this place she should already take her ride. Little does she notice at what place she has taken her stop. She shivers, pale lips trembling, still waiting for the storm to get over it.

To her right she hears bell chimes, and she turns, to see a man with brown hair, that instantly gasps upon the sight of her, “Oh my god, it’s her!”

 “Do I know you?”

“No time for that! Come, come! I’m supposed to place this stupid order but this is far more important!” he seizes her by the shoulders and drags her inside, and Risa quickly recognizes the place.

 “Oh, Hongbin, back too soon?” a guy wearing a white coat emerges from a door, wiping his hand with a towel, and time stops.

“Dr. Cha, this is her, isn’t it?” the tactless intern exclaims, eyes nearly as wide open as his mouth.

Time breathes again and so do the veterinarian and the girl. “Miss Hong, is anything the matter?”

She blinks. “Um…uh…I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to barge into your clinic—”

“No, stay!” he halts. “Hongbin, get a towel, and give her that untouched cup of hot chocolate on your table,”

Hongbin might have whined in protest but Risa doesn’t hear any of that, as the only thing she only thinks of is that she’s back in this clinic, and Cha Hakyeon is here, right here, right now, and, all of a sudden, her “dark life” as she had declared a while ago is suddenly illuminated by a streak of hope—of a thwarted sweet longing.

“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant, Miss Hong. It was just very surprising to see you appear here without notice and…in that…countenance,” he tries to be formal, but he’s almost tipping to the edge of losing everything and just gather her in his arms and tell her how much he’s been sick longing for her.

“I…”

“Is there…is there a problem with the cat?”

“N-no, no. It’s perfectly fine…just...” she’s shaking, and lost in his very stare.

“Come and sit down,” he ushers her to a seat, and when his intern comes back with a towel, Dr. Cha puts it on her head.

“Th-thank you…” shyly.

“You’re welcome. Although, you wouldn’t mind using the towel of a dog, right?”

“What?”

“I’m kidding!” he laughs. “That’s brand-new; Hongbin just bought that today,”

She mock-glares at him, and Hakyeon could just drink in the luxury of seeing that face again.

“Here’s your drink,” the intern surrenders his cup to her, and bids that he would go outside to run errands.

“I didn’t know you have an intern,” Risa muses, once Hongbin’s out.

“I didn’t. He applied a few days after your cat was well,” and he starts to walk to his table but she grabs him. He turns. “Yes?”

She pulls him again, harder this time, and he almost crashes into her, only to be caught in an embrace.

 Dr. Cha feels Risa sinking her face into his shoulder in a seemingly lost manner, and, happy though he should be at this hug, something overtakes his joy—sadness—as he kneels on one knee and wraps his arms around her.

“It’s been…five months, isn’t it?” he says slowly after a minute. Jaehwan has told him that Sanghyuk left for Sweden.

“Hmm-mm,” is the muffled answer, and a whisper, “He hasn’t called.”

“Never? Even for once?” he asks in disbelief, and when she stays quiet, he shares her heartbreak. He doesn’t need to place himself in her shoes to know such hurt.

He can’t believe it, and at the same time gets mad at Sanghyuk for breaking her heart, but the question now is: how come?

 

--

 

Risa doesn’t return to the clinic but after two days later. Hongbin yelps in surprise when she charges into the clinic, garnering the attention of several pet-owners, and heads straight to the doctor’s office. “Hey you don’t have an appointment—” but the poor intern already knows it’s futile.

Hakyeon’s jotting down something when he hears the door open, and says angrily without looking up, “Hongbin, I didn’t call for another one to come in!”

“No, you didn’t.” says the familiar voice, and then a brown folder is slapped on his table.

He looks up, a brow arched, beholding the foreboding known as Hong Risa’s intensely determined expression.

“Can I apply to be your assistant?”

It takes him so long to respond, she has to snap her fingers in his face. “W-what?”

“I said, can I—”

“I heard you the first time, but for what?”

“Just—accept me! Come on!” she stomps her foot. “Accept me or I’ll have to apply to that blasted pre-school again!”

“What—wait—you mean you resigned on your other job?” he gasps. “Miss Hong, don’t blame me if—”

“I don’t care what you think! Just tell me I’m hired!” there are tears in her eyes all of a sudden, and though he doesn’t understand why, it alarms him. “Come on, Dr. Cha! You’re supposed to be the good guy!”

He doesn’t know where that sudden name-calling came from, but before she breaks out into wails, he almost yells, “Fine, fine! You’re hired!”

She sniffles, and grins from ear to ear, “Really? I—thank you, Dr. Cha! No, wait, I’ll have to tell you: just call me Risa. Seriously.”

“Alright then. In one condition.”

“Eh?”

“You call me Hakyeon when it’s not clinic hours.”

“Well…okay,”

Here the intern comes into the room, and asks innocently, “Doc, the other pet-owners are complaining. Should I send one in?” and he turns to Risa. “What is she doing here? I told her not to come inside!”

“Oh, Hongbin. I’ll have another assistant. Meet Hong Risa,” Dr. Cha smiles.

Hongbin does a short ranting asking for the explanation how all this came about, when a minute ago he would be the one and only noble assistant of Seoul’s most in-demand veterinarian. Now that belt’s taken away from him, or rather, he’s sharing the belt with someone else.

“Don’t worry, I’ll just do the errands you don’t want to run around with,” Risa nods, and that appeases the intern well enough.

 

After then the three quickly become a dynamic trio, and though Hongbin discerns he’s obviously the third wheel, he’s having fun watching the two being sweet and shy at the same time towards one another.

One rainy afternoon, a month after Risa was hired as an assistant, she finds herself trapped in the downpour (yet again) after placing the orders of the clinic in a pharmacy. She cusses at herself for not bringing Hongbin’s umbrella, and moreover, at Hongbin himself, because he should have been the one doing this chore, as she had to take care of other matters Dr. Cha has assigned to her.

“I’m starting to become like him,” Risa mutters under her breath, just before she starts “alley-hopping” again.

Half an hour later she reaches the clinic, and Hongbin reprimands her for forgetting the umbrella and that Hakyeon will kill him for this. She retorts that this is supposed to be his job but the other shuts her up by throwing a towel at her face.

Hakyeon sighs when he sees her, and offers her a biscuit. “Here, your favorite treat.”

Risa gets hyped up like how Scooby Doo gets excited over a Scooby Snack. “Hakyeon, you never told me the guy there at the pharmacy is really grouchy.”

“Really? Was he rude to you?”

“Very!” she rubs the towel furiously on her head, and lets it rest there, making herself look like a hut with a limp yellow roof.

“He wasn’t like that to me.” Doc shrugs. “But, more important question: are you alright?”

“I’m okay,” but this statement is immediately contradicted by a sneeze.

He frowns. “Come on; let me get you some meds,” then he yells at the ajar door, “Hongbin!”

“Yep?”

“Kindly get Risa a warm drink. And a medicine for colds, please.”

“Seriously, I’m not just his intern, I’m also his girlfriend’s nanny,” the intern rolls his eyes, proceeding to do the chores.

“I have something to ask you, by the way,” intones she, making the vet glance over his shoulder.

“What is it?”

“Remember what I asked you before?”

Of course, she means only one thing. He smirks. “Why do you ask? Do you think there is?” He gyrates his body entirely, walks to, and kneels before her, to somehow level his gaze with hers. “I’ll ask you, so you’d know how I felt then: do you think we could ever have a chance?”

Risa grips the towel that’s cascading from the top to both sides of her head. She soon lifts her gaze from the floor, and when she meets his eyes again, that’s when she decides that maybe five months is already enough. She’s suffered enough already. Love Sanghyuk still she may, but here before her is the idol of her longing in physical, tangible form—no, he’s not the “rebound,” he’s always been there, and so he still will be. It probably won’t hurt to try again.

“Why don’t we make one?” she laughs, which surprises the veterinarian as it just should.

He laughs, too, and when Hongbin is just about to enter the doctor’s office, he stops in his tracks, and covers his mouth—first in shock, then, in stopping his giggle, for, through the ajar door, he sees two figures: one seated, the other knelt, their heads attached at the portion where their lips should be—a promising tableau of human love and warmth.