Please don’t

My heart is pounding so fast. When I see on my back, I can’t hold my tears not to escape.

You were there, holding her hands. You said that words to her.

The words that you supposed to said in front of me.

“I love you”

I wouldn’t hear that words again which always poured on to me everyday in the past.

The words that always came from your mouth to make me smile inside my head and replied that words silently. Deep in my heart I always replay for all of your words.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

“Ji, how are you today?”

I can hear your question, but why I unable to answered?

 “Don’t worry, I’ll always here with you.”

Your voice blew on my ear softly. How I missed the feeling when I be able to touch you.

Can you stay longer, can you wait?

“Seunghyun-hyung, are you sure with your decision?”

I heard another voice came to my ears. That was Youngbae hyung who spoke with him.

“Yes, Bae. I wouldn’t let him go.”

“But he is helpless. His condition was getting worst by the days off.”

My heart ache to heard that sentence, he want Seunghyun to give up on me.

 But NO..!!! My Seunghyun wouldn’t give up. I’m sure that he will waiting for me. You wasted your time to persuade him.

“No, please. Jiyong will be sad if you said it over and over.”

See. He would never let me down. He loves me, and I love him more than everyone had known.

“Sad? Are you kidding me?! He can’t even open up his eyes. He maybe has died if you pulled off that machine. That’s not him who lives, that’s the machine who made him stay longer. But it couldn’t help him.”

“Stop that, Bae. He is fine. And he will get better soon.” Seunghyun cried as squeezing my hand and kissed on top of my knuckles.

“Whatever. I can’t do anything if you still want to save that useless burden.”

I’m useless. I’m a burden.

Yes, I am.

But what can I do to change it? Tell me.

“Just let him go Seunghyun. And you can get your freedom.”

Freedom.

I started to thinking about it. Am I too selfish.

Is Seunghyun-hyung really wanted to get free from me?

“No. I couldn’t do that. He’s the one and the only one I love.”

“But he just wasted your time to pay all of this.”

“It’s not a matter. I will do anything to make him back.””

Really? You wanna do anything? Just for me?

When I know that you still on my side even everyone mocking and said how fool you are for survived. I can’t help but smiled inside my head.

 %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

I’m here for months now, but why can’t I open my eyes or going back to my body.

Seunghun hyung still visits me everyday. But I’m afraid, scared that he will boring to wait for me. But it’s mean that I doubt him. No, he will be disappoint when he know that I doubting him.

I should trust him, am I?

“I’m sorry, I should check on Mr. Kwon, you can wait outside.”

“Can I stay?”

“Okay, you can sir.”

I can saw those hurt eyes that faced me, I can see you hyung. Thank you for stay with me. I will trust you. No, I really trust you.

Day by day, I will see Seunghyun-hyung and the nurse which treat me talking about everything. They’re closed by the time has passed.

And I felt something weird slipped in to my heart. I’m jealous to see them. I can’t deny that they are compatible to each other. Nothing is forbidden when you looking at them to be together.

But it will be different when we held our hands together. The ways others people looks are disgust.

“You’re so kind. I have seen you always visit him everyday. Is he your dongsaeng?”

No. He’s my BOYFRIEND. So, don’t you dare to ! I said in front of her face with annoying looks.

But when I turned to see Seunghyun hyung, he bits his lower lips.

Why hyung? Why you seem like you were… thinking?

“No. He’s… he just my friend, my bestfriend.”

WHAT?! Hyung… What are you saying? FRIEND?

What- Why? Hyung, I TRUST YOU!!!

“Oh, you’re the true friend then.” She said with smiling. Ugh… I want to vomit to see that.

“Y-yeah…”

Hyung, why you’re blusing?

“I should back to work, nice to talk to you.”

“Wait.”

NO..!!!

I won’t to see anymore. How dare you hyung?!

“Do you have some spare time?”

NO..!!! Don’t…

“Yes, why oppa?”

Wait, what!! She called Seunghyun “Oppa”.

How closed they are actually?

“Let’s take a walk, my treat.”

‘Hyung, can you hear me? I’m here, standing next to you. I’ll be right back soon. Please… Please don’t do this to me…’

But you still took your way with holding her hands. Tears escaped from my corners eyes, but you don’t bother for looked back to wipe it away. I am standing next to my body. Why the tears won’t stop falling from those closes eyes.

When I saw you laughing with her, I realize something important.

That you haven’t need me anymore to make you smile.

You wanna get free from me?

Should I go now?

But can I stay for a while? I still wanna see you for the last time.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Again, I see you come over my room. I tried to touching your face, but just like a shadow my hand through your face without touched it.

Your hand is caressing my cheek softly. How I missed that simply touch from you. I can feel the warm on my cheek, my soul can felt it.

“Mianhe.”

Sorry? For what you said sorry? Have you realized that she isn’t your true love.

“I love you.”

Me too. That’s no doubt on it. I love you too. You won’t leave me, right?

I smiled when you leaned forward, plastered a kiss on my forehead. Then your lips went down to mine, so warm and gentle. I can feel you pressed it just like there will no others days leave.

No others days? What am I thinking?

“Oppa.” You tilted your head toward the door where she was standing.

What she want to do here? She’s disturbing us.

 I want to spend my time with my lover if you know. huft

“Nde.”

 Don’t you give your smile to her, hyung.

“Are you ready?”

Ready? What for?

Seunghyun-hyung, what she was talking about? Explain it to me. I asked him but sure he wouldn’t answer.

“Yes, I’ll meet you outside. I want to talk to Jiyong for a minute.” You are smiling. That smile was too nice for him. That smile is should be mine. You were usually gave that warm smile just for me. Only me, in the past time.

“Okay then.”

. What you were doing toward my Seunghyun.

“Ji.”

Nde hyung. I will be back, just waiting for-

“I love her.”

What? That can’t be. You just feel lonely. I’ll be back soon, very soon. Please don’t…

I sit on the edge of the bed. Looking at the machine which showing my heartbeat, it showed that my heart was beating slower. And I realized that my hope is far away.

Hyung...

“Mianhe Ji.”

Jebal… don’t you do this to me, this is hurt.

Tears began to falling from my closes eyes. But you leave without wiped it away, don’t you see my tears. Is it invisible to you?

That’s the time when I saw a doctor approaching my body. What will he do?

Hyung, what will he do?

Hyung, I’m scared.

“He is helpless. Maybe this is the right decision we should take.” Those –nurse- said as caressing Seunghyun hyung arms. He was shaking, and tears rolling down from his eyes.

No!!! I won’t leave him for you ..!!!

Hyung, listen to me. I’m here, standing next to you.

Can you feel me? Don’t let them to kill me.

I’m still wanted to through my life with you, don’t you feel it?

 “I can’t see it. It’s like I was betraying him.”

YES YOU’RE CHOI SEUNGHYUN..!!! KICK THEM OUT NOW..!!!

“He was suffering if you kept him here, and it will over soon now.”

No..!!! That’s wrong! I just need more time. Listen to me.

“Yeah… I should let him go.” You said that hyung. How could you?

“I really love you, Ji.” You whispered that words again. But should I reply for those ing words. Yeah… I should replay even you wouldn’t able to heard that.

Hyung…

I loved you…

When the machine had gone from my body one by one, I can’t feel anything. I was like dust that blowing by the wind. Slowly disappear.

“Mianhe Ji..”

How should I reply those words?

‘Hyung…’

‘I hate you…’

“Ji, Please don’t…”

I smiled when I see your regret and shocking face. Now you are be able to hear me? To heard my last words.

A/N : sorry, i'm late... so, here is my story... hope you enjoy it..