Every single time I sat at the balcony alone, I would remember my late husband, albeit he had passed away eight years ago but I could still remember his face so well. At first it was too hard for me to believe that he was already gone. It was a bitter pill to swallow. True, I was never ready for him to leave. Everything that we had is no longer there. But they said we never know how strong we are until being strong is the only choice that we have. Sometimes the memories just coming flashing in my mind that made missed my husband to death and the memories just killed me deep inside. All I could do was praying to God. I knew God loves him more that he took my husband away from me. May he rest in peace.

It was February 14^th of 2005 and it was a very first day I married to my husband named Oh Sehun. I was a 25 years old that time and he was a 28 years old. After one month of our marriage, we began to live together in our own house in Seoul, Korea. I have been dating Sehun for almost three years and I would never think that we actually ended up being a husband and wife. It was all started in the college years back then. I was lucky enough to marry him because he was every girl’s dream guy. He was 184 cm standing tall, got a bright skin, skinny and had a very adorable face that would definitely melted all of the girls’ hearts. Everything about him was perfect. They said nobody is perfect but I guess Sehun is the only exception. He came from a fine gene and was a very good looking guy. Sehun worked as a lecturer in Seoul National University and I was just a housewife. It was not that I did not want to find a job but Sehun would not let me. He told me to just stay at home. So every day, I woke Sehun up to his work, helped him to choose which shirt to wear, prepare his breakfast and everything. I was happy and fine did all of these things every morning because he was my husband. I love him. Remembering all of these activities that I used to do just broke me down into tears. I missed him, I missed his lovely voice and I missed everything about him. Yes, it was hard to miss someone who was already gone. Sehun is a part of me. He is my soul that keeps me alive. 

I stepped into our bedroom and saw Sehun was still sleeping soundly on the bed. It was already 7.40 in the morning. I needed to wake him up before he was running late. I approached the bed and sat beside Sehun. I caressed his soft hair that covered half of his eyes. I never liked the idea that Sehun was managed to look perfect even when he was sleeping. Not like me, I was opposite to Sehun. Sometimes I slept soundly and even drooled! Well, never mind. “Sehun, wake up. It’s already 7.40, baby,” I whispered slowly. Sehun was not moving even a tad bit. “Hey, wake up!” I shook his body slowly with a little louder voice than just now. After a few minutes of waking Sehun up, he finally opened his eyes. I thought he was going to wake up but after that he tugged his blanket up to his nose and was backing me. Sehun could be so lazy at time and of course me too, I was lazy enough to treat his childish manners. He was a whimper. He would bury himself in the blanket and mumbled I-am-so-lazy for a countless moment. “Come on, wake up!” I pulled his blanket away and he was laughing. He pulled my hand and kissed it. “Good morning,” and winked his eyes. Frankly speaking, I was melting like an ice-cream under a hot scorching sun. He then laid his head on my laps. “I don’t want to go,” he said with a pout on his lips. I ran my fingers through his silky hair and was just smiling. “Do you know that I’m the sun and you’re the moon?” I was laughing at his words. “What are you trying to tell me?” I asked him. “The sun loved the moon so much he died every night to let her breathe,” his eyes were staring into mine deeply. “I would do anything just for you. I love you so much,” he continued. I lowered my head and gave a little peck on his lips. “I love you more than you love me,” I smiled sheepishly. His face then turned into bright red. Both of us were chortling at our reactions. “Go baby, it’s already late!” I pushed his body and he stood up lazily. He walked to the bathroom and I went downstairs headed to the kitchen to make Sehun some breakfast. After of half minutes later, I heard Sehun was calling me from the bedroom.

“Now what?” I popped out my head in the bedroom. Sehun only had his white towel around his waist. My face felt so hot. “Help me. I don’t know which one is looking good on me,” he said while his hands were busy running from hanger to hanger to choose which garment to wear. “This one I bought for you on your 27^th birthday remember?” Wear this,” while I handed him a baby blue shirt. After he put on everything, I helped him to tie his necktie as usual. There was nothing I did not do for my Sehun, I would do anything. He pulled my body closer to him and wrapped his arms around my small waist. My heart skipped a beat. “I love you, sweetheart,” he whispered and gave a warm kiss on my forehead. I hugged his body tightly. I loved it. It made me feel so safe every time we were hugging. I missed Sehun’s sweet scent. I did not know what was happening, I felt like I wanted to hug him for forever that day. I just did not want him to go away. I walked Sehun to the human-size mirror which was situated beside of our bed. “Finished. Oh, look at you so handsome!” I told him humorously and he was smiling broadly until his eyes formed into a crescent moon shaped. ing adorable. “Thanks. I love you,” he gave a little peck on my forehead once again. I held his hand and we both went downstairs to the kitchen. He sat at the kitchen counter and was eating his forever a favorite sandwich which was made by his wife, me. “I wish I could stay at home and munching on your delicious sandwich all day long,” There was not a reason to not to love Sehun. He was a sweet guy. He took a sip of milk from his glass and gazed at his watch wrapped perfectly around his thin wrist. “8.30 am! I need to go now,” he stood up from the stool and took his briefcase along with him. Sehun needed to go earlier since his work place was a bit far from our house. “Maybe I’ll be home a bit late today. But I’ll be home for a lunch so please cook deliciously,” he said with a cute smile plastered on his face. “Sure, my prince,” and he became so blushed of my words. I hugged him tightly and he kissed my cheek. “Bye, take care I love you,” Sehun said to me and he went inside of his car. Before his car drove away, he scroll down his car’s window and said loudly “Bye! Wait for me, Aira. I love you,” he waved his hand and drove his car away. I giggled and waved my hand back to him as his car faded away from my sight. I would do all of these things every morning and I was never tired with it. I missed these memories. 

I went back inside of the house and started to do the house chores. I went to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator just to make sure all of the ingredients to make the lunch were sufficient. But then I realized that I was running out of fruits and vegetables. I needed to go to the supermarket. I took my car keys and drove myself to the supermarket. After I had finished buying all of the stuffs, I drove myself went back to home. There was a sudden traffic-jam that day. Usually, the road was not busy but it was jammed. I scroll down my car’s window and asked a middle-aged man who stopped his car just beside my car. “What is happening sir?” I asked him in curiosity. “There is an accident in front of there. They said two cars were crashing,” that man explained and I was nodding my head. I tapped my finger on the steering. My heart was suddenly beating fast and I got a cold sweat on my forehead. I never knew why. I felt uneasy. I tried to calm myself down. After a long time of waiting, all of the cars were finally moving and I felt relieved since I hate waiting for God’s sake. After my car passed down the incident’s location, I saw nothing but only spatter of bloods and small pieces of broken glasses on the road. It looked terrible and just sent a chill down to my spine. May God save the victims. I parked my car at the garage and went inside of my house. It was 10.40 am, still early for me to cook. So, I went to the bedroom and took Sehun’s dirty clothes to wash. Out of the blue, I felt that I missed him so much. The feeling was different. It was not like the missing feeling like I used to have from the other days. I blinked my eyes several times and took a deep breath. Maybe it was just an emotion. I put all of his dirty clothes in the washing machine and pushed the green button to wash it.

I went to the living room, sat on the coach and turned the television on. It was an exact 11.00 am and there was a breaking news in the television. I turned up the volume as I saw about the incident that was happening on Gangnam Street just now. “An incident was happening on Gangnam Street at 9.59 in the morning just now involving two cars. It has been said that one of the victims, who passed away this morning was Oh Sehun, the lecturer of Seoul National University. Policemen are still investigating this case,” said the female reporter. I felt numb. I did not even move for an inch. I still could not believe of what I have seen. I felt like my whole world was dark and already met the dead end. My husband was already gone, gone for forever. I broke down into tears that seemed to be so incessant. I felt like I was drowning in the middle of the deep Atlantic sea, screamed for a help but no one heard me. My body was shaking because I was crying badly. I felt like running to get Sehun, hugged his dead body tightly and told him that I was never ready for him to leave. I got a phone call and I answered it. “Hello?” with a really croaked voice. “We are from the Seoul hospital. Please come here as soon as possible,” the man said and I ended up the call. I could not even say a word. My lips were trembling and I just could not stop myself from crying so hard. My eyes were still looking at the phone’s screen and I saw there was an unread message. I opened the message and it was from Sehun. “Honey, I’ll always love you. Please keep that forever in your mind. There will always be an Oh Sehun who loves you so much,” it was sent at 9.45 am, 14 minutes before Sehun met with an accident. I cried even harder. Oh Sehun, the love of my life has now gone for forever. I did not expect all of this at all. His lost indeed was beyond my expectation.

Fin.