Warning: Un-beta'd.





It was rather tolerable, the days when Kris engaged himself with young boys in his study in the late hours of the night, because those were s that would always stay in the dark. The moment Victoria learns of his affair with an extravagant and young lady is when she begins to sense a mark of betrayal for the first time in their relationship.

It is on a night found rare that Kris returns to their chamber early and slips into bed beside his ever curious wife.

Just as Kris is about to doze off, Victoria’s voice rings softly in his ears; at first, she simply hums a tune, which sets Kris at ease, but then slowly the lyrics start to come.

“Far off in a distant land
With cherry trees and cotton clouds
A maiden lives with much heart to spare
And devils spy with greed and shroud

The maiden knows not of His cry
Yet nightingale’s sing of her fate
But heard not are their warning songs
And saved was not this maiden strait”

Kris deems it best not to question his wife’s song but Victoria is not one to go with her mind unspoken.

“Do you know the biggest pity a nightingale must face?”

Her husband lies still, pondering the question over and the possible reasoning’s she may have for inquiring so. In response, after fruitless consideration, he says, “I don’t suppose I do.”

“It is the fact that they sing songs so indescribably beautiful, yet, they fall upon deaf ears,” Victoria replies.

Kris does not agree. “Plenty of people hear of their songs and praise the beauty in their melodies.”

“And how many of those people truly understand just how lovely the song of a nightingale’s might be? How many know the true value in their tunes? How many of them listen to the songs solely for the music, and not for the fact that they are able to flaunt to others about hearing such a mystifying and mythically remarkable creature sing?”

Her husband remains silent.

With her eyes to the ceiling and hands peacefully resting on the flat canvas of her stomach, she asks, “How many of them have loved relentlessly, without any conditions, only to be turned away, like the dandelion which stands strong until the harsh winds come crashing into their homes, forcing them away from their roots?”

Taking a deep breath, Kris slowly allows his eyes to fall close. He had been suspicious of how much his wife had known, and her queries now only further supported his doubts. He supposes a lie can only take him so far. “Her name is Luna.”

“It is a lovely name,” Victoria sighs. “What kind of face would match a name so lovely?”

And so Kris tells Victoria everything about this Luna—her gorgeous appearance and remarkable body, her wits and her humor, how she loves to play and loves to eat but most of all she loves to experience life for its suspense and thrill, and strives not to live a life according to the all too well known idea called fate.

Luna is everything that Victoria cannot be, and that is what allows Victoria to forgive Kris once more for his wrongs.





“Do you have any idea what it truly means to be a wife?” Suho asks Victoria.

The lady curls her lips, tapping on the chess board that they are sporting. “I believe I have much more experience in this field than you, milord.”

Suho laughs, simply side stepping a single chess piece mindlessly to distract the married woman. “No woman will ever know better than a man what a wife should really be, for we are the ones who set such standards and we are the only ones who can judge to them.”

“Touché,” Victoria mocks him. “What then, milord, does it truly mean to be a wife?”

The man watches her intently, gentleness and affection in his eyes, before extending a hand across the table to sweep her fringes to the side. Victoria flinches, but does not hide. He then runs the back of his hands down the smooth canvas of her cheek, smiling as he does so.

“My heart has an answer to that question; however, my lips do not want to tell you. Why do you reckon that I am behaving this way?” Suho asks her in turn.

Victoria is flustered by his actions, immediately pulling back. “Whatever it is, it isn’t love,” she tells him, “because you have loved before, and everyone can only love once.”

Satisfied with her reply, Suho retracts his hand and chuckles heartily into his cup of tea. “That is what it means to be a wife,” Suho tells her, “remaining faithful, even if you know he’s given a fraction of his heart away to another. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, one that is made between people who share an agreement to such a pledge as a concept known as mutual support, even throughout the worst of all times. You are a good wife, Victoria, and Kris an equally good husband. He may not be the most faithful of them all, but he is considerate of your needs and your worries. That is what makes Kris a good husband, but a bad man.”

“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?” Victoria questions aloud.

He moves a single pawn, seemingly the most useless of their board, but Victoria is immediately stuck in a losing battle. Suho then pushes his cup forward, reaching for the teapot, but Victoria decides to intercept his attempt and pours the tea for him.

There is silence and silence again until the cup is half full.

“In a sense, I suppose you are right,” Suho nods in agreement. “In all honesty, I believe it works either way; perspective, that is the determining factor of the entire issue. Your perspective and mine are different; therefore, neither of us appears wrong in the matter.”

As usual, Victoria does not receive a direct answer from Suho. All Victoria knows is that Suho is aware of her feelings for Kris; she isn’t sure how Suho knows but he does and it is slightly unsettling. Suho also acknowledges Kris’s leniency towards another lady, something Victoria has also never mentioned, and that makes her anxious as well.

How did Suho know all that he knew, and why would he share such knowledge with her?

Such questions were one’s Victoria won’t ask now, but she will find a way to receive answers. Thus is the life she has always lived—independent and confident of her own capabilities.





“Why have you still not delivered the letter?” Victoria asks casually one evening, as she sits knitting on the bed and Kris reads through the daily newsletter. From the corner of her eyes she can still see the seemingly long forgotten letter sitting on the drawer, most possibly collecting dust particles over the days.

What a waste.

Kris freezes for a moment, not sure whether or not an honest reply is in deep demand at the moment. Unfortunately, he has always been more tempted to be the honest type.

“I’m sure you’ve had many chances,” Victoria continues.

“I have no doubt that Luna receives dozens of love letters every day,” Kris answers, “In my opinion; it makes no sense to give her mine when it is clearly just going to be tossed to the side.”

His lack of confidence in the matter catches her rather off guard. Victoria purses her lips, her fingers stinging at the tips. “Then why write one to begin with?”

“I had to find some way to relieve myself of such forbidden feelings,” Kris shrugs. “Also, I’m a married man. Luna would never be the type to engage with me as more than just friends for that simple reasoning alone.”

Chuckling to herself, Victoria raises her eyes to meet his. “That didn’t stop you from liking her.”

“And it still won’t,” Kris nods, looking his wife directly in the eyes. It is almost as though he is challenging her. “However, acting upon such feelings is an entirely different story. If I involved myself with her now, despite being married, that would make me a person who does not live up to morals of the general public.”

“The fact that your heart has wavered at all has already given you away,” Victoria argues, “and you wouldn’t be the first of all nobles to have an affair behind their wives back.”

“True,” Kris agrees, “but it feels wrong.”

If his interactions with Luna were simply physical, things would be a lot easier for Victoria to comprehend and accept, but the fact that Kris is so emotionally attached to her, the fact that Luna is the one making him want to be a better man, discourages Victoria from the rest of the conversation.

She doesn’t realize that Luna is not the sole reason Kris doesn’t want to betray her completely—it is also because Kris doesn’t want to hurt her that he remains physically faithful to her now.

“I must be such a burden to you,” Victoria scoffs. “Neither of us wanted this, I know, so I feel just as apologetic towards you that you do towards myself.”

At that very moment, Kris just wants to crush Victoria in his arms and hold her tight. She’s not crying, she’s not complaining, and sometimes that is exactly what makes Kris want to cherish and pamper her all the more than he already does.

Not very many women are as strong as Victoria. So, when she continues speaking, Kris feels anger brewing in his blood. “If you truly love her, then you shouldn’t hesita—“

“You are perhaps the one and only wife I’ve known to encourage her husband to commit adultery on her,” Kris grits through his teeth. “Is that truly what you want—for me to turn my back on you, as though this connection, this relation, between us is as excusable as dirt?”

“That’s not what I was suggesting,” Victoria tells him. “I’m simply stating my opinion.”

Kris throws the newspaper on the coffee table and excuses himself to the patio. She doesn’t remove her eyes from his figure then, his strong hands on the rail, clutching the metal between his fingers. She tilts her head, sighing, as she wonders why she can never do anything right anymore.

The more she thinks about it, the more sick she feels from the inside out. Kris hears her running for the door and follows closely behind her, worried that she may have taken their conversation in the complete wrong direction, if that were even possible.

When he catches up to her, maids have gathered outside of the restroom door, Victoria is hovered over the toilet, coughing and gagging as the maid closest to her pats her back soothingly.

“I want to go home,” he hears her say between coughs. “I really, really want to go home.”





There comes a day when a social gathering is held at their pension and dozens upon dozens of people show up in their ballroom.

Victoria, ever present, is amongst the first of ladies to greet the many guests. When a small, gorgeous young girl walks through the door, an omniscient smile and wonderful crescent eyes greet her and Victoria feels her breath being stolen away.

“You are just as beautiful as the rumors tell you to be,” Luna says, offering a hand to her.

Taking Luna’s gloved hand, Victoria returns the compliment by addressing Luna’s absolutely breath taking smile and contagious laughter as well.

“I hear you haven’t been feeling quite well,” Luna grimaces, “but that is quite common, considering that the seasons are about to change again.”

Victoria nods, smiling kindly. “It’s very kind of you for paying your respects with me.”

“As the same with you,” Luna chuckles. “Kris is a great man, you are very lucky to have him.”

“Ah, yes,” Victoria plays along, “Kris makes for both a great friend and an excellent husband.”

They continue their chatter for a while more, until the official event begins and everyone takes a stand, eyes on the front stage where the alter sits. Kris sneaks up besides her, allowing her to wrap her arm into his, and leans in to whisper into her ears.

“This is an incredibly important meeting for my father,” he tells her. “I’m very thankful for all you’ve done for us today.”

“It’s my duty,” Victoria replies, “I am only playing my part.”

Kris nods. “And we appreciate it, Victoria. We really do.”

She isn’t sure what else to say after that, so Victoria remains silent. Her husband is striking today, as he always is, but something about him at this hour seems a little different from the usual.

There are many things that could be the differentiating factor; his hair is gelled up today, he’s wearing a tail coat and not a frock coat, and his smile is a little more glamorous than she remembers it being. Even if it’s the smallest detail, Victoria would recognize it.

Yet, none of those seem to be the true reason he appears more magnificent than before.

Could it be because Luna is here, and he wants to show her the best of him? That couldn’t be possible, because if that were true than he would most probably try to stay as distanced from herself than he is, as to not appear before Luna as a married man but a charming and independent man.

“Are my eyes playing tricks on me or is our dear Madame Wu possibly displaying a frown on that beautiful face of hers?”

She would recognize that tone a mile away, as well as his abuse of the word beautiful. Apparently, so could Kris.

“Suho, Count of Alsace,” Kris greets him with a forced smile. “We really appreciate that you’ve made it here tonight.”

The other man grins widely, his cocky smile picking at all the wrong nerves when Kris sees it. “Of course,” Suho says, shaking Kris’s hand, “anything for my dear friend Kris. However, if you’re mistreating my dear Victoria, I simply cannot guarantee my friendliness towards you will remain intact for long.”

“Your dear Victoria?” Kris scoffs. “The last I’ve checked, Suho, Victoria is my wife and not yours.”

“Touché,” Suho agrees. “That is a point I cannot argue. However, I must say, I do believe I understand this woman much more than you ever will, if only for the fact she’s actually comfortable with me.”

She doesn’t mean to argue or deny their close ties, but that was a far fetch from the truth. “I am hardly comfortable with you, Suho.”

“First name basis?” Kris asks.

Victoria meets her husband’s eyes, not trying or wanting to hide a thing. “We meet on a considerably constant basis. Suho is one of the few friends I have made in this town.”

“I try to make the most of my time available to you, but being a Count is not the easiest job out there,” Suho jokes.

Kris is not amused in the least.

“Suho, I want you to stay away from my wife starting today,” Kris warns. “No exceptions.”

Pursing his lips, Suho keeps his eyes on the ground with a shrug as Kris pulls Victoria in another direction. Something suddenly hits him and he reaches for Victoria’s hand, pulling her back. He searches into his pocket, retrieving a small velvet pouch.

“This is for you, milady,” Suho smiles at her. “Do not open it until tonight, most preferably past midnight, when the princess requires her carriage for escape. Not every Cinderella gets a prince, but a Count is just as proper, no?”

Infuriated, Kris turns on his heel and guides Victoria out of the ballroom towards their resting chamber. He closes the door and locks it, not wanting to be disturbed, and rips off the top buttons to his wing-tipped shirt.

“I do not recall hearing you mention that you’re this friendly with the Count,” Kris accuses.

Victoria strips off her cloak, setting it aside in an orderly fashion. “I’ve mentioned meeting with him several times before but to answer your exact accusation, no, I have not mentioned to you directly about our close friendship.”

“Is this your retaliation to my affiliation with Luna?” Her husband wants to know.

“What is between Suho and I are completely different from the feelings you harbor for Madame Park, I’m afraid,” Victoria says simply. “There is no attraction between the Count and myself.”

“You can guarantee that on your own behalf, however, can you truly represent Suho’s point of view as well?”

Victoria nods confidently. “I can.”

However, Victoria would rather be drowned in Kris’s anger than to explicate the exact details of her conversations with Suho about their friendship. For one, they are personal to the two of them and, secondly, there is truly no need.

If Kris had any trust for her, he wouldn’t demand her to explain any further.

“You cannot,” Kris angrily sputters. “You may think you understand everyone so well, but you do not. He is a man, Victoria, and a man does not simply befriend a woman he has no interest in.”

“That may be the mindset in which you live in, Kris, but Suho is not the same.”

Kris narrows his eyes. “Are you implying that he’s the better man between him and I?”

“No,” Victoria shakes her head. “Every person in this world is different. For you, friendship may be impossible between a man and woman, but for Suho it is not. Suho is a man who can understand me; he educates me, helps me see the world in a different light, yet, he does not impose in my beliefs. When I am with Suho, I feel as though I am both a student and his equal.”

“And when you’re with me?” Kris asks. “How do you feel?”

She considers the question for a while, pondering on possible answers, before she finally responds. “In the beginning, I hated you. At one point in time, I felt nothing. Then, I admired you. Somewhere along the way I must have fallen in love and you must have made me feel as though I were on top of the world. Somehow, it all fell apart. Now… now, I don’t know anymore. How should I feel, my cherished husband? How do you want me to feel, when I’m with you and no one else?”