First Love is...
First Love is...
Sunggyu paces back and forth in front of the classroom anxiously. The sky outside is a grayish blue. It is early morning, 5 a.m to be exact. School wouldn't start for another two hours. Sunggyu in a cold breath, seeing the trace of cool smoke in the air. Although he is indoors, the heating system for the school wasn't turned yet and the winter weather could be felt within the walls, freezing the inside of the school. He takes a moment to breathe inside his cuffed hands, warming them for half a second. He hears the faint sound of footsteps down the hall. He turns his head, eyes full of anxiety and eagerness. Finally a figure appears in the dark, his shadow becoming visible from the moon's still, dim light. It comes running toward Sunggyu. He stops and bends down holding his knees as he catches his breath.
"Have you lost your mind? It's five o'clock in the morning." Sunggyu's friend, Ilhoon says in a loud whisper. Sunggyu wonders why he was whispering when there was no one in the building besides them two. He ignores the complaining and pulls his hands out of his thick jacket's pockets.
"Did you bring it?" Sunggyu asks. Ilhoon clicks his tongue at his friend's inconsideration. None the less, he did pull out what Sunggyu was longing for. A rose. An orange rose that bloomed oh so slightly that it would be fresh within a few hours, the perfect time for when Sunggyu's special someone would receive it. Sunggyu smiles happily upon seeing the flower. He takes it delicately out of Ilhoon's hand and sniffs it. The scent of the rose is pure and innocent, just like the person he is going to give it to. The orange color reminds Sunggyu of her uniqueness and her creativity. It reminds him of a tiger's color. Sunggyu goes inside the classroom he stood in front of and searches for a certain desk. He whirls his way around a few, passing insignificant seats until he finds the right one. Sunggyu takes a moment to stare at the seat then back at the rose. He closes his eyes, making a tiny but hopeful wish. He presses his lips slightly against one of the rose's silky petals. He lays the bud carefully on the desk. The rose did its own little dance when it came in contact with the wood. It wiggled its single leaf and the petals leaped in joy as if they imitated the butterflies shaking Sunggyu's heart.
"Hey, hurry it up." Ilhoon called from the hallway. Sunggyu nods to no one and scurries out of the room. The morning soon to come would either be his happiest or most disappointing.
--
One month earlier
Ilhoon was running, or a more appropriate description would be jogging because his friend was lagging behind him. He turned around and saw his older friend only jogging half-heartedly. Ilhoon whined to himself and took a moment to glance at his watch. His body bounced up and down when he threw his own mini tantrum on the stairs up to school.
"Hyung! Will you jog faster? The bell rang five minutes ago!" Ilhoon yelled. Sunggyu behind halted his weak jogging and stopped altogether. His halt made Ilhoon even more frustrated by his elder's actions. "Hyung..." He implored. Sunggyu made a sour face at his noisy friend who was a considerable ten feet away.
"We're already late. Just go if you want." As soon as the words left Sunggyu's mouth Ilhoon didn't hesitate to leave the stairs and disappear into the school. Sunggyu stared dumbfounded at the spot where Ilhoon once stood. He scoffed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "That punk. He just left without me." I told him to though. Sunggyu's conscience reminded him. "Tch. He still should've just waited." Sunggyu grumbled to himself and entered the school by himself.
The classroom was silent when Sunggyu walked in. The teacher had no choice but to stop his lesson and acknowledge Sunggyu's tardy arrival. Sunggyu bowed shyly as he took off his heavy winter coat and hung it on the coat hangers right side the sliding door from which he entered.
"Why are you late Mr. Kim?" The teacher asked. It was clear he wasn't interested in any answer Sunggyu would give him despite Sunggyu's tired appearance and the small beads of sweat he accumulated on his forehead. It made the tips of his hair glisten when they wet his crimped bangs.
"I got on the bus late."
"Why didn't you run?"
"I did." Sunggyu argued in a low tone. The class had their eyes on Sunggyu's and the teacher's exchange in words. A nosy bunch of students they were.
"Not fast enough. Your friend made it here before you." The teacher referred to Ilhoon. Ilhoon slumped down in his seat for being put on the spot. Sunggyu's eyes glanced at Ilhoon and saw him try to hide; but his sharp eyes, despite their size, could catch any rat in the darkest of homes. The teacher snapped his fingers once and made Sunggyu's eyes dart back at the ground. He was handed back the tardy slip with a rip on the top right corner, meaning the teacher had received the note and will change the late student's attendance from absent to tardy. Sunggyu took his seat five seats across from Ilhoon. Class resumed normally and Sunggyu looked at the board.
"You dirty punk." Sunggyu had Ilhoon's head under his armpit and forced the younger's eyes on the ground. "Ah ah-" The sound of Ilhoon's whimpering didn't bother Sunggyu or make him go easier on his punishment. "First you ditch me then you tell the teacher I took my time to get to class." A small grind of Sunggyu's teeth made his anger even more apparent.
"Ah-hyung. I'm sorry!" Ilhoon begged again. It seemed that was his niche for the day. Begging. Something along of the lines of "you better be sorry" escaped Sunggyu's lips before he freed the poor boy from his vicious headlock and turned his heel. At the same moment when the top of his foot touched the ground, it caught against something and tugged it back. A girl nearly stumbled forward almost dropping her books was stopped when the back of her shoe was caught under Sunggyu's.
"Sorry!" She apologized out of reflex, although it wasn't her fault. Sunggyu realized she was talking about him and noticed his foot was the one that caught hers, flattening the back of her sneaker.
"Did I step on you-?"
"Yeah. But it's okay." The girl cut him off and hurriedly started to fix the back of her shoe and fold it back in place.
"Wait, I'm sorry." Sunggyu said when the girl started walking faster ahead to reach her next class.
"It's fine!" She said before getting mixed in with the crowd of people in the halls. Sunggyu tried to look over a wave of heads but couldn't spot the girl anymore. All he could remember was the dark brown hair.
After what felt like hours, the last class of the day ended. And it couldn't end any sooner. Sunggyu rolled his neck around, grasping the back of it and feeling one or two cracks in the process. He squinted his eyes when he left the classroom and was greeted by the high afternoon sun. Around the corner came a sleepy looking Ilhoon. It was obvious he took a relaxing doze last period judging by the red mark on his left cheek.
Lazy punk. Sunggyu thought to himself when he saw his hoobae able to relax during class, while he had to sit through a one hour presentation of a student who didn't know half of what he was talking about and a teacher's banal lecture of what the student should and should not have said. Ilhoon's mouth stretched out in a yawn when he met up with Sunggyu. The scowl on Sunggyu's face kept its place when he looked at Ilhoon.
As the daily routine called for, Sunggyu drove himself and Ilhoon to the library to do homework. If Sunggyu could go home he would, however he didn't have keys to his own home. He never understood his parents when they agreed to get him keys to an ancient car that had been scraped up from an old relative rather than keys to his own home. Sunggyu was never one to complain, to his parents anyway, to everyone else he didn't care. But when they complained to him it was a whole other story, just like when Ilhoon did. Sunggyu can't stand whiners despite himself being one.
The library was full of course. Everyday parents would drop their kids off from preschool and elementary school at the library then leave like it was some free babysitting service. The building was split into two sections: the right being the children section where homework help was available; and the left would be an actual library, with books and computers for all ages (not that it mattered because rambunctious teens would sit there making the library a hang out joint to them.) This building could barely be called a library.
Ilhoon's eyes scanned the left side of the library for any available seats. His arms started to grow tired and wobbly from his heavy books, so he hurried to any random table with two empty seats for him and Sunggyu. He didn't care if anyone else sat near them. Ilhoon slammed his books loudly on the table when he dropped them and released the weight from his arms. The person who was already sitting at the table quietly doing their homework with earbuds in their ears jumped at the startle. Sunggyu smacked Ilhoon behind the head when the echo of a huge load being dropped was audible throughout the building.
"This is a library." Sunggyu reminded Ilhoon, who was softly glaring at the one who hit him.
"Oh hey. You're that girl from earlier." Ilhoon took notice of the girl he startled, who indeed was the one Sunggyu stepped on in the hallway. Sunggyu turned his head to the girl and met her gaze. She looked at the two boys curiously before she remembered.
"Oh yeah. It is you." Her eyes moved to Sunggyu. Sunggyu didn't say anything when the girl kept looking at him, possibly waiting for him to say something, but he was silent.
"Is it okay if we sit here?" Ilhoon broke the silence and continued casually. The girl's eyes left Sunggyu's face and moved on to Ilhoon's with a nod. Her bright smile gave off her friendly vibe and Ilhoon returned his grateful smile. Sunggyu being the awkward turtle in these types of situations took a seat next to the girl with dark brown hair. He glanced at her for a moment when suddenly she turned to catch him looking at her. Sunggyu's eyes nearly doubled with embarrassment before the girl said something to clear the air.
"Sorry if I seemed mad. I was just in a hurry to class." Again, she was the one apologizing to Sunggyu when, after all, it was Sunggyu who almost made her late.
"No no. It's my fault. I'm sorry." Sunggyu waved his hand to stop her worry but she smiled again only instead adding a small giggle. Sunggyu didn't know why she giggled but a sudden happiness swelled over him to see her smile from something he did.
"My hyung is really clumsy with those two left feet of his." Ilhoon joked. "I'm Ilhoon by the way. And that's Sunggyu." Ilhoon introduced the two. The girl nodded and took a mental note to herself to remember the two names.
"I'm Chaerin."
--
Sunggyu waited in the parking lot under the bright sun. He covered his precious eyes with his hand and turned his head back to the school. He clicked his tongue when he saw every student in the school flood out except Ilhoon. Finally Ilhoon pushed through the students and ran toward Sunggyu.
"Sorry hyung." He apologized. Ilhoon's deflated hair let Sunggyu know that the boy actually hurried to get here. With what patience he had left, he forgave Ilhoon and told him to get in the car.
"Is Chaerin going to be at the library today?" Ilhoon asked when he slung his backpack around his shoulder and shut the door to the passenger seat. Sunggyu gave an indifferent shrug of his shoulders and turned off the car.
Sure enough, Chaerin was there, sitting calmly and completely focused on her homework, earbuds in. The corners of Sunggyu's mouth couldn't help but curl up at the sight of her. Ilhoon skipped his way to her, leaving Sunggyu behind and occupied the table.
"Hello miss! Why are you here by yourself?" Ilhoon questioned in a funny manner. Chaerin looked up in surprise at the sudden arrival, although she did see these two boys everyday for the past three weeks, so she expected their eventual arrival.
"Homework." She said straightforwardly. Her eyes caught sight of Sunggyu, who soon made his way to the table. He sat down in the seat across from her, flicking his eyebrows to acknowledge her. Chaerin responded with a friendly smile then put her loose earbud back to her left ear.
"Guys, do you know where I can get a book on driving?" A boy around the age of the three approached the group. No one knew who in particular he was addressing, so there was a silence among them. Sunggyu took the initiative to tell the guy where he could find what he was looking for and pointed at the far end of the library. The guy nodded and said a quick "thanks" before going away again. Ilhoon and Chaerin looked at Sunggyu in curiousity for helping the stranger who had come, as if a kind gesture was something peculiar for Sunggyu to do.
"Do you know that guy's name?" Sunggyu asked most likely Ilhoon. Ilhoon's eyebrows bounced in a sort of confusion.
"I thought you did. You seemed to know him." Ilhoon said. Sunggyu's lips formed a pout when he shook his head.
"Nope. But he always talks to me at the library like he knows me. I think he's in one of my classes but I don't remember seeing him." The guy came back and sat at one of the empty seats in the table next to Chaerin. All talk about him stopped between the two. Ilhoon mouthed something behind his book flap: "I think his surname is Nam?" Sunggyu looked at Ilhoon blankly but nodded to make it seem like they weren't exchanging words.
"Hey, what's your name again?" Ilhoon blurted out shamelessly. Both Chaerin and Sunggyu felt gave themselves a mental face-palm towards Ilhoon's bluntness but didn't interject since they were both curious as to who this familiar figure was.
"Woohyun. I'm in your math class." Woohyun said. Ilhoon snapped his fingers like the lightbulb in his head finally clicked.
"That's where I saw you." He said. Woohyun did a little hair flip and used his hand to move any other hair out of place. His mouth hung open while he nodded making him look a little silly, but in some way charming.
"Nam Woohyun. You're in my chemistry class right?" Chaerin chimed in. Woohyun titled his head when he remembered. His expression imitated Ilhoon's when he recognized her.
"Yeah we are." A smile formed on his face, making his eyes turn into soft crescents to compliment his toothy smile. And Woohyun seemed to have already known Sunggyu, so the circle of introductions was no longer needed.
Woohyun was a very curious fellow. He also liked to sing. When there was a short silence, he would either start humming something or sing a small tune to fill the silence. He was uncomfortable with a lack of background noise apparently. No one seemed to mind except for maybe Sunggyu who would stop doing his homework to lean back in his seat until Woohyun would stop. His concentration could only focus on one thing at a time.
Every now and then, Chaerin and Woohyun would gauge into conversation, because she couldn't concentrate with his singing either. Not that it was bad, actually it was really soothing and sounded heavenly, but not when you needed quiet like when you needed to study.
"Oh Chaerin, I heard about that cheating scandal. Was it from someone in your class?" Woohyun asked with interest. Chaerin sat up and thought carefully about what to say about what seemed to be a touchy subject.
"No. But my teacher said she caught some people who were involved." She said in a slight whisper as if her teacher would spring up and rat her out for tattling. The two continued to gossip and Sunggyu observed the two cautiously. Chaerin's sudden change in tone made Sunggyu curious. He watched Chaerin as she spoke to Woohyun and when Woohyun talked to her. There was a different glow in her eye when she listened to Woohyun speak. Her eyes sparkled with an interest to every piece of gossip Woohyun would dish out. When Woohyun laughed, at something Sunggyu didn't care to remember, he saw Chaerin's change in color. Color as in mood. She laughed with him, a laugh that sounded like an attracting song to Sunggyu's ear. Her smile made her eyes curl into the cutest little smiles when she laughed. Sunggyu's heart stirred when he saw Chaerin smile so blissfully. He didn't like the feeling. It made his chest feel like it was being put through a wringer and caused him to stop watching the two. He debated in his head whether to get up right then and leave the uncomfortable situation. He saw Ilhoon bobbing his head ignoring everything around him with his earphones plugging his ears. Sunggyu was envious of his friend, envious that he was able to block out what was going on around him.
Without thinking, Sunggyu stood up and started packing up his things. Chaerin and Woohun stopped talking and watched Sunggyu pack up. Even Ilhoon looked up to see his hyung about to leave.
"Aw, are you leaving?" Chaerin's innocent voice rang in Sunggyu's ear like a loud church bell making him crinkle his eyes in a funny way, almost like a cringe.
"Yeah. See you tomorrow." He said without looking at her and left with his things. He heard Ilhoon call after him but he ignored him. He had to leave as soon as possible before his heart would explode in his chest.
Sunggyu jogged up the stairs to his room, not even greeting his family. He threw his bag to the side and fell back first onto his head. He put his hand over his head and closed his eyes. An image of Chaerin laughing flashed through his mind causing him to open his eyes again. He moved his hand to his chest that tightened again at the image. He sat up and grunted like he was in pain--because he was. He never felt something like this happen to him before. When he thought of Chaerin and Woohyun talking, smiling, and laughing the stabbing pain at his chest worsened. Sunggyu felt what he never did before towards someone: jealousy. No, he knew it was different. He had felt jealousy before. He envied athletic people and their superior health. He envied handsome people like Woohyun. He even sometimes envied social butterflies like Ilhoon who can get by any situation with their words. This time Sunggyu was feeling something else. Lust. Sunggyu fell back into his bed disappointed in himself. He felt dirty for feeling such a horrible emotion. But he couldn't help it. He didn't like seeing Chaerin's bright smile for someone else.
He wanted nothing more than to be the reason she smiled, like when she first did when they met for the second time at the library. But Nam Woohyun made her laugh. He hated him for that.
Then Sunggyu sat up and remembered. Wait, I did make her smile.
"Everyday." He said out loud. Everyday in the halls, Sunggyu and Chaerin pass by each other and high five before parting to the next class. She would smile every time she saw him even before they met to high five. Sunggyu thought about how everyday he'd look forward to seeing her walk his way. When he thought about it, he realized he made Chaerin smile ten times over Woohyun in the passed month or so. Sunggyu smiled in satisfaction for his victory against Nam Woohyun. He felt a sudden confidence and nodded his head. Sunggyu laughed to himself giddily and fell back again on his bed, this time with a wide smile on his face. The pain in his heart disappeared and changed to a light flutter every time he thought of Chaerin again. He turned his head toward the dresser next to him and grabbed his phone. He pressed it to his ear listening to the rings.
"Hello?" Ilhoon's voice asked.
"Hey, I think I'm in love with someone."
--
2 weeks earlier
Ilhoon and Sunggyu walked at a relaxed pace in the halls. It was break time - 20 minutes allotted to the students to do as they please: eat, catch up on homework, or just chat like Sunggyu and Ilhoon did. Lines of students passed by them like ghosts walking through walls, not caring about what was going on besides what was in front of them. Ilhoon and Sunggyu were no different. Ilhoon conversed with Sunggyu about his classes, crazy quarrels, and other things Sunggyu could care less about. Sunggyu walked aimlessly with his mind in a different universe, but he still made sure to nod at Ilhoon when he spoke and turn to make sure he was still next to him.
"So what do you think, hyung?" Ilhoon asked. Sunggyu blinked twice then looked at Ilhoon. He had no idea what he just said. Sunggyu shuffled his hands in his pockets and gathered his thoughts.
"Oh, um. Yeah it's great. Awesome idea." He said.
"Filling the pool with jello was a great a idea?" Ilhoon's eyebrows rose. Sunggyu's eyes looked elsewhere when he realized the question.
"Oh-uh-" Sunggyu stuttered.
"Save it. I know you were thinking of Chaerin." Ilhoon said. Sunggyu's cheeks grew hot at the mention making him flustered when Ilhoon said it out loud. "Ahhhh look at that." Ilhoon teased and wiggled his finger in Sunggyu's face, poking his cheek. Sunggyu slapped the finger away angerily. "Oh hi Chaerin-ah!" Ilhoon smiled and waved behind his hyung's head. Sunggyu rolled his eyes knowing his friend's little game and didn't turn around to fall for it.
"Sunggyu?" He turned around at the sound of his name and felt his heart pound hard. Chaerin was waving at him slowly like she had been trying to get his attention the entire time. She kept waving until Sunggyu would react. Her friend looked at Sunggyu and turned to say something to Chaerin. Sunggyu saw Chaerin shrug, bringing her hand down, then turn to leave with her friend.
"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Ilhoon nudged him. But Sunggyu kept staring ahead of him. His eyes were fixed on where the whole scene took place.
Sunggyu?
Sunggyu blinked and saw Ilhoon waving his hand in front of his face. He turned to look at him and saw something else when Ilhoon asked:
Your face is so red. Are you sick?
Sunggyu shut his eyes tight enough to see swirls gather around. When he opened his eyes, he saw Ilhoon looking perplexed.
"Are you sick?" He asked. Sunggyu grabbed ahold of his senses and shook his head. "Why did you ignore Chaerin? She was waving right at you." Ilhoon's words made Sunggyu's head spin. That was real?! Sunggyu's mind couldn't differentiate between reality and fantasy anymore.
"Bro, you've got it bad." Ilhoon hung his head and laid his hand on Sunggyu's shoulder. "When are you gonna ask her out?" Sunggyu shot his eyes at Ilhoon in bewilderment. Sunggyu didn't even think as far as to asking Chaerin out. All he did think of was...her. The movies in his head played out all the things he wanted to do with her and what it would be like if they were a couple. Holding hands in the halls, eating lunch together, surprising her on her birthday, holding her securely on a cold, snowy day watching the first snow fall....
Never once did it occur to him that he'd ask her outright to do those things with him.
"I-I can't ask her out." Sunggyu stuttered. Ilhoon scoffed at his hyung and shook his shoulder.
"How do you expect those fantasies of yours to become a reality?"
"W-Who said I wanted those to be real?" Ilhoon looked at Sunggyu with narrowed eyes. All over his face you can read his disappointment.
"Don't worry. I'll help you." Sunggyu's face heated up but this time in a sort of rage mixed with embarrassment.
"Yah, I don't need your help on women. Did you forget I'm older than you? I've lived on this Earth longer than you have!" Sunggyu scolded Ilhoon, who just smiled while he tried to suppress the laughter about to explode from Sunggyu's cute rant. Sunggyu noticed Ilhoon's apathy to his lecture and hit his head, grabbing some hair while he was at it.
"Aish, this kid."
He would never admit it, but deep inside, way deep and far behind the yards of thick wall that guard his pride, Sunggyu was grateful to Ilhoon's advice; because he didn't know the first thing to do to try and capture Chaerin's heart.
***
12:00 this afternoon
Hands were writing like a whirling tornado through the oral lecture the teacher gave on historical points on Korea. Every five minutes a student whines in pain quietly to themselves and shakes their stressed hands from endless writing. Sunggyu's hand scribbles messily along the paper trying not to miss any of the teacher's words. Any second he feels like his fingers will snap the more notes he takes down.
"Let's take a break." The teacher announces and every student drops their pencil and exhales the longest sigh they have in their lives. Sunggyu sits back in his seat and sweeps his hand through his hair. His winces in pain when he tries to bend his fingers that were so tightly wound around his pencil for 30 straight minutes. He in a breath and starts to massage his hands. He cracks his knuckles, relieving the tension. He sits up and scoots his chair back inside his desk. The teacher was about to start again after only a two minute break. The chair bumped against the desk legs in the wrong way making the chair jerk back a bit. A folded paper fell out of Sunggyu's jacket pocket. He picks it up curiously and flips it around his fingers trying to recall when he possibly put it in his pocket and what it is. When couldn't remember, he simply unfolds it. Crease by crease the note opens to reveal its contents. Sunggyu's tired eyes double when he recognizes what it is. He bites his lip and cusses mentally at himself from frustration. His eyes shoot at the clock to check the time. Again he cusses mentally. The class will not end for another 25 minutes.
"Dammit." He whispers under his breath. He can't wait that long. Everything he did would have been useless until that one folded paper was out of his hands and in its rightful place. Sunggyu taps his foot loudly on the ground beneath, earning glares from his classmates and the teacher. Time didn't move faster no matter how much Sunggyu wanted it to. In fact, it moved slower. Painfully slow. Those last 25 minutes were the longest and most agonizing the whole year.
***
Chaerin stares at the rose in admiration. Its unique color tickles the girlish side of her in delight. She bites the inside of her bottom lip. She takes the rose in her hand and examines it, all around, side by side.
"Where did you get that, Chaerin?" Her friend chimes in from behind her shoulder. Chaerin turns a little startled by her friend's sudden appearance.
"It was on my desk this morning. I don't know who it came from though." She presses her lips in a line.
"Oh," her friend says, "maybe Woohyun gave it to you." Her friend wiggled her eyebrows only earning an eye rolling from Chaerin.
"Why would he give this to me?" Chaerin says, thinking what an impossibility for something like that to happen. Her friend shrugs her shoulders but keeps that sly smile on her face. The kind of face she would make whenever love was involved.
"But why is it orange? Shouldn't roses be red?" Her friend says judgingly. Chaerin looks at the floral and spins the stem in her fingers, getting a glimpse of the rose's beauty overall.
"I like it. It's different." The thought of Sunggyu came to her mind when the rose's autumn color matched Sunggyu orangey-auburn hair. She smiles at the thought. Her imagination ran its course again, imagining Sunggyu giving this flower to her, with his cute smiling eyes and shy boyish grin. Chaerin put the small, cellophane-wrapped bud securely away in her bag along with her fantasies.
***
Sunggyu bolts out of the classroom the second the bell rang. Luckily he sat right next to the door. Six minutes. He has six minutes to find Chaerin before passing period ended. But where could she be going right now? Out of the 80 classrooms and 1000 students in the school, where would she be? Sunggyu didn't even know. He didn't know how he could possibly find Chaerin in this enormous school. He keeps running, pushing through the crowds, shoving passed backpacks, and earning harsh words along the way. Six minutes passed like two, and the bell rang for class. Sunggyu slows, stopping his running until he came to a slow pace then a stop. He runs his hand frustratedly through his hair, making his bangs fall in scattered places. He has no other choice than to go back towards his next class. As the crowds of students start to do disappear into different classes, Sunggyu's feet drag him to his.
He can't focus on the lecture. His mind is only focused on what Chaerin is thinking right now. What if she thinks it came from someone else? Sunggyu prays she wasn't hoping it was from Woohyun. Anybody but him. If it were Ilhoon, fine. He knew Sunggyu's feelings already and would set things straight if she came to the conclusion it was from him. Sunggyu saw his fantasies start to slowly part further away when he thought about this slip up. He realized all he wanted was a chance for those fantasies to be a reality, like Ilhoon had said. He sighs and his hand writes on the paper at a decreasing pace, until it slowly comes to a stop.
***
If life gave you a second chance, would you take it? If you could redo any moment in your history, would you? Would you want to do something you didn't or maybe make a different decision all together? Would changing that specific moment in your past do you better in the future?
Sunggyu shivered in his long parka. He pulled his mitten covered hands out of his pockets and rubbed his cold, red nose. He rubbed his hands together and stuffed them back into his jacket. His eyes looked up at the sky and saw how bright it was lit despite the sun being covered by the snow clouds. He stared determined as if warning the sky not to start snowing on him. In the midst of his own distractions, he felt something nudge his shoulder. Before he could glare at the person for so rudely hitting him, his eyebrows raised in a sort of surprise.
"Yah, Kim Sunggyu..." They said.
Normally Sunggyu would beat anyone up for talking to him so casually but this time was the exception. Sunggyu smiled cheekily in genuine happiness ignoring the impatient person pouting in front of him.
"Ahn Chaerin."
The two young adults went inside the bakery nearby where they met and shrugged off a few layers, adapting to the warmer environment. A waitress came by and set two mugs of hot chocolate in front of them. The steam from the hot drinks blended into the air and created a mocha-like scent between the two. Sunggyu held the mug by the handle in his hand and Chaerin cautiously gripped the cup whole to take a sip.
"Weren't you cold standing out there like that?" She asked Sunggyu. He put down his cup. A tiny whipped cream mustache formed on his lips to which he ran his tongue along to wipe away. Chaerin managed to suppress her giggle at the act.
"Nope. Wasn't cold at all." Sunggyu said.
"Kim Sunggyu is too cool to get cold." Chaerin rolled her eyes matching her sarcastic tone.
A few moments passed when Chaerin glanced at the window.
"Sunggyu!" She said cheerily and stood up to press her face at the bakery window like a child seeing a shiny new toy from the toy store. Before Sunggyu could follow, Chaerin ran out of the bakery to standing in the newly falling snow. Sunggyu clicked his tongue and grabbed Chaerin's jacket off her stool while slinging on his own. He jogged out and saw Chaerin staring at the sky the same way he had been earlier. He followed her gaze and saw the small puffs of snow fall slowly toward the earth. Sunggyu's eyes trailed back to see Chaerin's. Her eyes shimmered at the sight and the puffs fell delicately on her dark brown hair, creating a tiara of snow. Sunggyu's heart was at ease as he wrapped her jacket around her shoulders. When the jacket rested on her body, she shivered, as if her body just realized it was out in the cold. Chaerin smiled thankfully to which Sunggyu returned.
The two of them stood together in marvel. Each of them in silence as if they were waiting to something else to happen. Sunggyu put his arms around Chaerin's shoulders. He felt her jolt up in a startle. He chuckled behind her head. Although he couldn't see it, Chaerin's lips broke into a smile. She tilted her head back to rest on Sunggyu's shoulder. She looked up at him and smiled brightly. Sunggyu looked into Chaerin's eyes.
Now the atmosphere between them came together in sync.
She wiggled out of his grasp and turned to face him. Her lips crinkled up in a slight pout and she held Sunggyu's thick parka. She took the zipper and zipped it up to the top of Sunggyu's face, to the point where it covered a portion of his chin. She laughed at how funny Sunggyu looked. If Sunggyu was pouting she couldn't tell because his mouth fell covered behind the jacket. But she saw his eyes turn to slits, only seeing the dark part of his eyes peek through his eyelids. Feeling amused, Chaerin continued to bother Sunggyu. She rubbed the tip of her index finger and thumb together. The more she rubbed them together the warmer they'd feel. Chaerin reached toward Sunggyu's head until her coupled fingers caught the tips of his bangs. Her eyes flicked down to Sunggyu's face, which was clearly confused by what she was doing. She ignored his annoyed expression and continued to run the tips of Sunggyu's bangs until every puff of snow melted under her fingers.
Suddenly Sunggyu grabbed her hands. Chaerin flinched and accidentally pulled Sunggyu's hair. Sunggyu's eyes flinched when his hair was pulled.
"Sorry! Oh my gosh your hands are so cold!" Chaerin said. Sunggyu laughed and started patting Chaerin's cheeks repeatedly. Now it her turn to pout and narrow her eyes for being treated so childishly. When he thought the right time to stop, he let them stay attached to her face. She still glared at Sunggyu for his incessant slaps.
Sunggyu inched his face back and forth. He saw Chaerin's eyes get bigger then smaller to adjust whenever he'd change the distance between them. Slowly but not too slowly he made the distance between their faces shorter and shorter. Until they were within kissing distance. Sunggyu's heart started to pick up in a skip the longer he stalled his desire. He gathered his courage and leaned in for a kiss. First letting his nose touch Chaerin's as a warning. She shivered and so did he.
Sunggyu's lips grazed Chaerin's gently feeling a sudden warmth. When their lips connected all that exerted from them was a sort of ecstasy. The snow that fell on their skin melted instantaneously. A small snowflake fell on Chaerin's nose, causing her to pull back. Sunggyu looked at her and saw the single flake sit on her nose and refuse to melt. He chuckled and used to finger to wipe it off to turn into liquid.
The happy couple laughed together and enjoyed themselves in the snow, sidetracked in their own delight.
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