Seohyun rocks the after look.

So does Sooyoung thinks.

When she came in their room looking all-high and smugly while trying to be discreet.

Not to mention her messy hair, crumpled top, shorts .

Sooyoung shakes her head, holding back a chuckle, “never thought I’d see this side of you”

Then Seohyun quickly gathers herself together. Zip up her shorts and guiltily smiles her way to their bed.

It’s 3 am and she snatches Sooyoung late-night snacks away.

“Go to sleep Unnie.”

 ---

But Seohyun can’t sleep.

Tossing and turning on the bed.

She huffs and heads for a shower instead.

 ---

The noises wake her up and Seohyun tries to reason with her brain what her body wants and needs.

Her mind just works like that and before she knows it, she’s already up, helping Taeyeon out with the breakfast.

Sometimes, being the responsible one is too tiring.

 ---

When Hyoyeon approaches the leftovers and attempting to throw them away, Seohyun smacks her arm, “Don’t. Sica Unnie hasn’t eaten yet.”

“Owww. She won’t eat this anyway.”

“She will. We didn’t put any cucumber in it.”

Then the door thumps loudly and out comes Jessica with a flowery dress, “I’m so late. So so late!”

 She leaves without even closing their apartment door.

Sunny nudges Yoona and gave her the look then Yoona huffs, gets off the couch and closes the door, “What’s she up to?”

“Sica’s got a breakfast date with the shorty oppa.” Yuri coos, handing the remote to Tiffany.

“Donghae?”

“Who else?”

Sooyoung turns her head and gives Seohyun the look that says "I thought you two are an item?"

There's a pang in Seohyun's chest as she puts her fork down and throws everything else in the trashcan.

 ---

I can't deal with this. She actually ran and woke up early for that guy. The nerves. 

Seohyun taps her phone furiously and contemplates whether she should play along whatever game Jessica’s playing with her.

Screw it. If Jessica can do it, she can too.

She carelessly speed dials Yonghwa.

Two can play this game.

 ---

When they broke up, Yonghwa was confused.  They were a good couple. Steady and slow sometimes, but good.

Seohyun didn’t even tell him why.

She couldn’t. How was she supposed to explain when she herself has no idea what was happening?

She just knew she would rather kiss Jessica than kiss him.

And for her that was enough reason to let everything go.

 ---

Yonghwa comes and picks her up half an hour later. The rest of the members have the shock look on their faces.

Seohyun puts on her sweetest smile and waves backs to Yonghwa.

“Unnies, I’m going out with Yonghwa for a while. I won't be out for long.”

She waves them goodbye and glances at the looks on their faces, then she sees Sooyoung.

Sooyoung just quietly snacks on her chips and nods her head.

Seohyun mouths a thank you unnie to her then leaves the apartment, arm in arm with the guy.

Seohyun sighs and Yonghwa asks if everything is okay. She just nods, but there's a thought  on the back of her head saying, if that was the look for Yonghwa, then she wonders what kind of look will they give her if they ever find out about Jessica.

 ---

“Does this mean we’re dating again?” Seohyun looks up and meets Yonghwa eyes.

They were longing for something. She can also see determination in his eyes.

Seohyun just shrugs and thinks to herself why couldn’t she ever read Jessica’s eyes like she did with Yonghwa.

Before she knows it, they’re in front of her apartment’s building and Yonghwa’s patiently waiting for a kiss.

Seohyun forces herself to smile and pecks his cheek.

 ---

Jessica sneaks in her room and whispers something to Sooyoung.

Then Seohyun hears the door closing and a pair of arms circles her waist.

“So I heard you went on a date today.” She pulls her closer and lightly kisses Seohyun’s necks.

Seohyun bites her lips, holding back her moans.

Jessica’s hands are starting to make its way south and for a moment, Seohyun struggles to breathe.

“Jessica” she turns to face the girl and searches for her eyes.

Seohyun’s stomach churns and twists tightly.

A sudden excitement surges through her body and she smirks.

Because for the first time, she could see jealousy in Jessica’s eyes.

 ---


Seohyun always prepares for everything. She thanked her books for that and the Internet of course.

She always thought she had the knowledge on all.

But everything that Seohyun was preparing for and has the knowledge of have all disappeared when Jessica had kissed her one night.

They weren’t sober and Seohyun, well Seohyun was, Jessica was borderline tipsy.

But Seohyun claimed to be tipsy when Jessica asked her the next morning.

When they tried to talk things out, they ended up making out instead.

And honestly, Seohyun preferred that than talking it out anyway because for the first time, Seohyun has no idea what is going on.

 ---

But that was a long time ago when feelings weren’t involved and now things are just messy and Seohyun has never been more confused in her life.

Did she just say feelings?

Sooyoung makes her way to their joined beds and pokes her hip, “they’re going to suspect something soon if you’re like this whenever she goes out with Donghae.”

“I don’t know why I’m like this.” She mumbles through the pillow.

Seohyun looks up from the pillow when she didn’t get any respond from the other girl.

Sooyoung sighs and gives her the look again.

No, Sooyoung can’t judge her. Not right now. Not when she knows everything.

Then she caresses Seohyun’s cheek and sighs some more.

Seohyun cries.

Because both her and Sooyoung knew that this isn’t a game or just for fun anymore.

 ---

When Jessica kisses her way down her stomach, Seohyun cups her cheek and pulls her up.

Jessica’s eyes are dark, full of lust.

She hovers her face close to Seohyun’s and they stare at each other for the longest time.

When Jessica pecks her lips and tries to move downwards again, Seohyun stops her, “Jessica.”

“Hmm?”

She struggles at the thought of where this is going, “What are we?”

Jessica looks away and Seohyun pulls back to stare at her face.

Tears escape her eyes because she knows Jessica knows and yet, Jessica’s fine with it.

 ---

Seohyun reminds herself, there’s Yonghwa. There’s always Yonghwa.

The prince charming like Yonghwa who comes to the rescue.

Yonghwa would always sing her songs. With his acoustic guitar and his sweet voice.

Seohyun thought really hard why she couldn’t be happy with what they have.

Besides, Yonghwa would never played her like Jessica does.

He treats her good. He always has time for her. Always looks out for her. Yonghwa is too good and sometimes Seohyun wants to cry in frustration why she couldn’t look at him the way he looks at her.

Then she kisses him and right at that moment she finds her answers. Yonghwa isn’t Jessica ing Jung. 

 ---

Seohyun wakes up one night, throat all dried up from the crying before. The break up was too harsh, but this time Seohyun explained him why.

He nodded his head and wished for her happiness instead. Then he kissed her goodbye.

Seohyun broke down in her room, wanting to punch herself for making Yonghwa went through this again.

She walks towards their kitchen and stops at the harsh whispers.

“Don’t be a Sica.”

“I’m not.”

“Then end it. I don’t think she can take any more games from you.”

Seohyun moves forward, trying to hear the rest, she perks her ear towards the kitchen.

“I’ll come for you if I ever hear her cry again.”

A moment later she was met with Sooyoung scary stare and the older girl scoffs.

“Why couldn’t you choose another member Seohyun?” Sooyoung gives her an eye roll and ends it with a sigh, and then she scampers off to their room.

 ---

“Why are you still awake?” Jessica eyes her as she gulps the water.

Seohyun wipes with her sleeve, “Why are you?”

Jessica shrugs, “Sooyoung wanted to play the big sister role.”

“She acts like she’s protecting you or some sort.” Jessica pauses, “You don’t need any protection. I’m not that bad.” She scoffs.

“Leave Sooyoung Unnie out of this.” Seohyun gives off a glare and it came out sounding like a warning.

Jessica stays silent, trying hard to find a good response.

When Seohyun moves to take her leave, Jessica grips her wrists.

"Let go of me"

"No."

It’s always like this. Jessica always has the upper strength. Always the one with the last word, always make people bend to her rules.

And Seohyun grew tired of it. No, not anymore, “We’re over. I’m done figuring things out. Have fun with Donghae.”

Then Seohyun goes back to their room, tucks herself in. Then she lost control when Sooyoung protectively hugs her and mumbles out some soothing words.

 ---

Jessica comes in her room the next day, kisses her roughly and when Seohyun tries to push her away she mutters out, “I broke up with him. No more Donghae.”

Jessica kisses her back, this time, with much tender and she could feel Jessica’s cheeks damp with tears.

She stops pushing Jessica away, because even if Jessica didn’t say it, her kisses make up for it.

I’m sorry. 
I love you. 
Please don’t leave me. 

Tender, soft and a long kiss.

Seohyun knows Jessica is hers now. Hers and hers only.