The girl walked along the lines of trees and waterway, looking around as if looking for something. But the truth, she wasn’t looking for anything at all. In one hand she’s holding a sketch book, the other holding a case containing her painting tools. She stopped and stared at the depth of the forest. They’re enticing her. The trees, the breeze, the nature sounds. They wanted her to step inside and released whatever she had in mind. Without hesitation, she changed her track and walked into the forest. She kept walking further into the forest, ignoring the fact that she might get lost.

She followed the small river, breaking twigs and branches as she went, then she just stopped. She didn’t know how far she went, but her legs ached and they wanted to rest. She looked around again, making sure where she was. She saw nothing but trees, heard nothing but wind, birds chirping, and running water. She finally felt at ease.

Somehow, she’s feeling stuck and heavy lately. It’s kind of depressing her, but she didn’t know the reason why she felt that way. She slept all day on weekends, thinking that she might only just be tired. But it wouldn’t go away. She had fun, spending all day with her friends. It was fun, but it didn’t last long. She was still as depressed as ever.

She wanted to run. Running away might be the best way out.

Her small town was bordered by a thick forest in the north, and that was where she’s in right now. Maybe a time in nature and solitude would help her, if not increasing her depression.

She walked to the nearest big rock covered in moss, considering to sit or not to sit. She didn’t want to make her jeans dirty, but she didn’t bring anything but her sketchbook and she wasn’t going to rip one off the book for her to sit. Having no other choice, she sat down, placing her belongings in her lap and closed her eyes. She felt at ease.

The rock was attached to a big tree trunk, so she laid back and rested her back, still closing her eyes. She wished the time would stop and she could do this forever, doing nothing, listening to the nature sounds. Not the first time she wished the time stayed still. She always did. Whenever she’s feeling depressed and helpless, she would lie in her bed, wide awake, wishing that time would stop. The time never obeyed her, of course.

“Are you okay?” someone said.

The girl instantly opened her eyes and sat straight. A bit farther away from her, stood a tall and slender boy, with pinkish cream hair, perfect fair complexion, fresh reddish thick lips, and although Asian-slanted, surprisingly sharp eyes. He didn’t look older than her, truthfully, he looked young but somehow had mature air around him.

She said nothing but stare at him, wasn’t sure of what to say and was completely loss at words anyway. She didn’t hear anything and he just suddenly popped out of the blue. He was shining, like off the world. As if he’s not the part of this world. Not to mention he was completely soundless when he arrived.

She remembered the tales she heard from the senior citizens in her town. They said, sometimes when you stepped too deep into the woods, you would meet the unearthly beings. They were the forest dwellers, stayed among the dense trees, hidden before the humans’ eyes. But sometimes, really sometimes, and if you really paid attention, gazed into them, not merely looking, they could be seen. These beings were called with thousands of names. Among them, oldest term, forgotten by humans, remembered by the oldest in town, written in the oldest fairy tale books, spread among the families in sometimes beautiful, sometimes dreadful tales.

She remembered the dreadful ones. Girls missing. Bodies found in the forest. Kidnappings. But looking at this ‘being’ right now, she felt no fear. Beautiful, she might choose the word to describe him. He looked unearthly enough, yet he looked beautiful and… unearthly.

A word came out of her lips. “Fairy....”

“Hello? Are you listening to me?” he asked.

The girl jumped off the rock, now completely conscious of what happened, although she wasn’t scared at all. Her sketch book and painting tools case fell on the forest ground with a bump sound. As she wanted to reach and took them, she didn’t want to drift her gaze away from this boy—if she could call him that way. She didn’t want him to vanish into thin air, if she diverted her eyes.

“What are you?” she automatically said.

The boy blinked couple of times, watching the girl on her defense mode. He realized that he might scare the girl. A smile curled up on his lips. He chuckled, amused.
She noticed how a smile could easily change this boy’s air.

“I’m sorry if I startle you. I am not a bad guy.”

She stepped back. “Bad guys always said that they’re good.”

The smile was gone, and she suddenly wanted him to smile more, and changed into puzzled look. “Really, I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I was walking and saw you sleeping in there. I thought you pass out or something. Are you okay?”

The girl realized her mistake. The boy might not a bad guy after all, and not a fairy, maybe? Or was he? Was he just trying to look normal to cover his identity as a fairy? Well, he looked like a fairy enough. With that weird color hair and pretty face, he could be a fairy. Fairies were pretty right?

“I’m okay…” she answered and added, “… I think. Why are you here?” she asked.

The boy walked closer, finding the girl interesting. He never saw this girl in the forest before. He actually hadn’t seen anyone in years entering this wood. Well, he saw couple of them walked in the verge of the forest, but never this deep.

As the boy walked closer, she could saw the beautiful pinkish cream color of his hair more clearly, and it’s stunning. She never saw color that weird before. Well, none of the boys in her town would have that kind of color. Red, maroon, brown, light brown, dirty blonde, black, but never pinkish cream like that. It was so weird yet beautiful, and she had this urge to touch it, so badly.

“Why are YOU here?” he asked back, emphasizing on ‘you’. He tilted his head while staring at the girl. Deciding she’s a threat or not—well, it should be vice versa. But the girl already felt no threat coming from the boy, so she sat down on the rock again.

“I don’t know,” she honestly replied.

“Wow. You come all the way over here, but you don’t know what you’re going to do?” The boy placed his finger on his chin, acting of thinking. “Hmm… we should figure out what you want to do then.”

She picked her sketch book and painting tools case and placed them next to her above the rock. “Why should you care about it?”

“Oh? Do you draw?” He picked the sketch book and opened some of the pages. “Wow! You’re pretty good. But do you always draw… disturbing images… like this…?”

The girl snatched the book from his hand. “It’s not disturbing.”

Without asking permission, the boy sat next to the girl. “It’s… kind of disturbing. Like the picture where the girl’s stuck in the corner and there were these scary shadows overlooking her. Don’t you think that’s disturbing?”

She moved away a bit. She didn’t come here to talk about her drawings. She especially didn’t want to talk about them. She poured her depression, fear, feelings, everything in the form of drawings, and she didn’t want to talk about her feelings to a complete stranger, even if he’s a fairy.

“I didn’t want to talk about it,” she simply said.

And he simply answered, “Oh, alright.”

“You haven’t replied me. What are you doing here?” she repeated her question.

“Wandering around, looking for something….”

The girl looked at him in suspicion. He’s a fairy indeed. Who else would wander around the forest? Alone? (She didn’t look at herself while assuming this).

“Alone?” she exclaimed.

He laughed. The laughter sounded as crisp as the wind-blowing leaves. “What about you? You’re alone too.”

Before she knew it, they were already talking about a lot of things. Surprisingly, she could talk comfortably with him. Probably because she thought of him as a fairy, that everything she told him would be forgotten. She didn’t realize that the sun had gone down and almost disappeared behind the hilly plateau. The boy was the first to realize it as he looked up and saw the orange color lights reflected on the leaves.

“Oh, it’s going to be dark soon. You should go home now. Do you know how to get out of this forest?” he asked, standing up.

The girl grew hesitant of leaving. She wanted to stay here and chat with the boy. She wanted the time to stop right now, so badly. She wondered if the boy’s going to take her to meet the other forest dwellers. Maybe she could get an adventure like what she always read in books. You know, the ones with adventurous tales of a girl—or a boy—who got lost in the forest and met magical creatures.

“You’re not going to take me with you?”

The boy tilted his head and frowned. “Why should I?”

The girl assumed that the boy decided not to tell her that he’s a fairy. So she shook her head. “Never mind.”

The boy started to walk ahead and told the girl to follow him as he knew the way out of the forest. She of course knew the way out, but she kept quiet and followed the boy. It was a short travel and they suddenly were in the verge of the forest. Leaving the dense forest behind her, she felt both relief and disappointment.

“There you go. You can go home now,” the boy said.

Although she already predicted what the boy would say, she still asked, “What about you?”

“I’ll stay here… for a moment.”

Of course you’ll stay here. You live here, the girl thought.

“Okay… I’ll be going now. Bye.”

The girl turned and started walking to her town. The orange light of the dusk had begun disappearing and she could see dark cloud in the western horizon. She always thought it looked like a black shroud, and it’s kinda scary for her.

She suddenly remembered something and she turned around. “You haven’t told me your… name….” The boy was gone.

***

The next day, she became more hyped than usual. She couldn’t wait to slip after school and went into the forest again. She wanted to meet the boy again. Although she only had 50:50 chances to meet him, she still wished that she would. If the boy was a forest dweller he might live there, she might meet him again.

After school, she quickly dropped her bag in her house and raced back to the forest while carrying a cheese sandwich she really liked. It didn’t take a lot of time for her to find the path she were in and paced hastily to the rock. The rock was still there, of course, everything was there. She was sure yesterday was not a dream. She had to pinch her arm real hard to make sure that this was also not a dream. Well, it certainly wasn’t.

But the boy wasn’t there. No one was there. Everything around her stood still that it suffocated her. It was a bit dark in the opening since the dark cloud had begun ascending. It would rain soon. It was autumn and it rained a lot.

She could hear the leaves moved because of the wind. The birds chirping. The forest creatures moved around her. But she could feel nothing. It felt like, everything stopped. Her time stopped.

“What are you doing in here?” a voice, above her.

She looked up and saw the boy, sitting in the tree branch—the same tree she leaned on yesterday.

The sight of the boy gave a new breeze in her life. As if, a warm yet cold breeze blown into her. Suddenly she could feel everything around her. And she instantly became happier. For no apparent reason at all.

She tried to be as casual as possible, but she couldn’t hide the wide smile on her lips. “Just walking around.”

The boy jumped off the tree and landed next to the girl, with smallest sound she could ever imagine. “Do you know that it’s dangerous in the forest for a girl like you?”

She scoffed and stared at the boy up and down. “What about you? You’re no bigger than I am.”

“I know this place better than you do.”

“Anyway, you haven’t told me your name.”

The boy turned around and looked at the girl. The sunlight behind him fell on his hair, reflecting beautiful color of pastel pinkish cream from his hair.

“It’s Niel.”

Since that day, the girl spent most of her time after school and on weekends—if she didn’t went out with her friends—in the forest. Both of them said nothing of any rendezvous time or place, but they always met in the same place, not in the same time. Sometimes, when it rained a lot, and the girl couldn’t make it to the forest, she had to wait until the rain stopped before she could go. It was a gamble in her side. But she always—and it’s always always—found the boy right in their spot.

They would spend time talking, drawing, playing any kind of games, or walking around the forest. When they walked around the forest, the boy would hold her hands—so that she won’t get lost. And she liked it. She enjoyed every moment their hands hold each other, the warmth from the boy’s hands really got into her.

He had a lot of places he wanted to show the girl, and it appeared wondrous for her. Although she lived next to the forest, she almost never went into the forest before. And exploring in the forest with the boy was a new life-experience for her. She was happy, more than anything. For his company, for his adventure, for his time, and for his existence in her life.

Gradually, her mood became better. She almost never draw disturbing (as the boy put it) depressing image anymore. Her drawings changed into of a fairy in the forest. A male fairy she adored so much. A fairy with pinkish cream hair, and gentle eyes, and pretty smile.

She started to think that the boy wasn’t a fairy—a forest dweller at all. She secretly hoped that the boy was a human, just like her. But sometimes she couldn’t stop herself to wish that the boy was a fairy. It confused her. But she liked both, so she didn’t care at all.

One day, she clumsily left her sketchbook in the living room. She decided not to go to the forest today since it was raining, and just drew some pictures for Niel to look at. It was raining and her father stayed at home because of her work. Her father saw the drawing and called his daughter hastily.

“What is it, father? Why so loud?” She went into the room, carrying a cup of hot chocolate for her and black coffee for her father.

“Where did you get this picture?”

She put the cups in the coffee table and sat next to her father, still didn’t understand why her father was so worked up over one drawing. “It’s my drawing. Father, how can you not know my drawing?”

“No. I mean. This boy. How can you draw him?” he pointed at the boy’s picture. Niel.

Her father’s tone of voice scared her. Niel said something about not telling people about their meetings anyway. “Umm… Dreams? What about it, father?””

“This boy. He got lost in the forest years ago. Well, when he was a lot younger than you. He played in the woods one day and he went missing. People said the forest dweller held him since we wanted to abolish the whole forest for the new road construction. The police and the villagers searched for him for days, but he was never found. Even after they stopped the road construction, he never showed up. That’s why the villagers cleared a small path for carriage through the forest.”

She went silent hearing this. How many years have passed? Did he survive? Was he the boy her father talked about?

“Do you think… the boy survived, father?”

“I’m not sure. It’s wilderness out there. How many boys can survive out there alone? Not to mention the beasts and foods. Once you’re lost. You’re gone for sure. That’s why I tell you not to stray from the gravel path.”

The girl nodded couple of times, making sure that her father was convinced that she would never step into the forest. Her heart beat faster. She grew anxious. She was scared that… what was she afraid of? This couldn’t wait until tomorrow. Small drizzles still hit the roof. But she couldn’t wait. She had to make sure.

She rose from her seat and ran to the front door, telling her father that she wanted to go to her friend’s house.

She dashed through the drizzles along the quiet street of the town. Rain kept falling down, not showing any sign of lifting up. The gravel road on her feet felt hard, but she didn’t care. Her hood even fell from her head, but she ignored it and kept running.

When she reached the forest, she didn’t even need to look around for the correct path, as she dived into the forest. The rain had almost stopped now. The muddy soil on her boots kept making her slip into the ground, but she kept pushing through to the promised rock.

She smelled the wet soil—which she really liked—but now it felt like suffocating her. She could feel her heart beating faster and faster. Fear built up in her heart. She was scared of something… but what? What was she scared of? That the boy wasn’t humane at all? That the boy was just her dream? Her imagination? That he wasn’t real?

Tears started to roll down her cheeks. As she fell again to the ground, she didn’t even wipe it and kept running.

The opening was as still as it used to be. When it rained, all the forest creatures looked for shelter from the rain. She saw no one. She looked around. Fear. Fear surged inside her. Maybe he was just an imagination. Her sanity….

“Niel!” she started to call. It was in low voice once, but as her fear grew, she shouted. “NIEL!”

The more she called, she could hear her own tone of desperation. Frustration. Fear.

She called and called. But no one came. She grew desperate and believed that she was crazy after all. Imagining a friend she never had.

“What are you doing?” suddenly someone said.

She turned to the voice and VERY relieved seeing Niel standing on the higher ground. She burst into tears, feeling relieved that she was not crazy at all. She wasn’t….

He jumped down and stood in front of her. “What happened? You look… messy and dirty. Did you fall? Didn’t I tell you not to come here when it rains?”

She reached out her hands and hold Niel’s arm, as if making sure that he was real. He was solid, alright. Ghosts were supposed to be transparent right? “Are you… a ghost?”

For a split of second, she saw his expression darkened but he scoffed. “What are you saying? Of course I’m not. Did you hit your head or something? And why are you crying? Come on now. Stop crying.”

He wiped away her tears.

“Proof that you’re no ghost,” she said.

He scoffed again. He held his hand and entangled her hands on his. “You can touch me right? It’s warm right? I’m no ghost.”

A sense of relief hit her. He was real. He was real. She recounted the sentence in her head. But she needed more. She suddenly hugged him, and it was so sudden that Niel stepped back for the pressure.

“Hey… hey…”

She closed her eyes and listened closely. Ghost had no heartbeat. But she could hear his heart pounding in his chest. It was harder than she thought. She let go and looked up at Niel. Niel was blushing, but looked at her back.

She let go. “Okay, I’m convinced.”

“What’s happening really?”

“My father saw my drawing and said that years ago a boy got lost in the woods. He had the same hair as yours. My father said, the boy might not have the chance of survival out here. I think… you’re a ghost… or my imagination. That you’re not real.”

“So that’s why…. If I’m a ghost, I should have stuck in my age when I died.”

She tilted her head. “Is that so? I didn’t think about that….”

“You want to go back now?” he asked.

“Now that I’m here….”

“Hey,” he cut her off. “Are you feeling better?”

The girl looked at him with puzzled look. She didn’t understand the question. She felt okay.

“I mean… you’re not as depressed as when you first came here right? Don’t try to fool me. I saw that pretty easily. You’re happy right?”

She nodded.

“You know…. People met for a reason. Why do you think we meet?”

She smiled. Niel never talked around like this. “Why indeed….”

“I’m thankful that we meet. Really. I’m really thankful,” he continued.

The cold watery wind them gently.

“So do I,” she finally said.

Niel smiled. The pretty smile she always treasured. A smile she would never forget.

The next day she fell ill. She had to stay on the bed for the whole day. That day rain fell harder than yesterday. The more reason for her not to go the reason. She stared outside, tracing the rain water on her window with her fingers. The forest was visible from her window. The trees were as solemn in the downpour. When she closed her eyes, she could imagine the sound the trees made whenever she was in the middle of the thick trees. She could even hear them along with the sound of rain. It’s quiet and calm and she felt at ease. She smiled as she drifted off into the dreamland.

The next morning, when she opened her eyes, she found a vase of living primrose by her window. She smiled as she knew who this was from. These flowers could only be found in the forest. And there was only one person who would do such thing.

Her fever had gone down and she felt totally okay. So she marched to the forest happily. Ready to meet him. She missed him so much.

Although it just rained last night, the weather that day was perfect. It was cold, but with bright sunshine, it felt warm. She strolled into the forest and greeted by the cheerful bird chirpings, the squirrels walked passed her. She smiled sniffing on the wet soil smell, the smell of rain. It’s everywhere and it made her happy.  Everything seemed to be perfect that day.  

When she arrived at the promised rock, her steps stopped eventually. There was a note and a stalk of violet primrose on top of the rock. Her smile disappeared from her lips. She also knew who put it there. She reached to the note and read: Be happy. I’ll be around.

Breath seemed to be sapped out of her lungs. She had this weird feeling that she might not meet him again. She looked up, seeing the sunlight through the wet leaves. They shone, in a beautiful and divine way. Tears started to build up in her eyes, and she started to sob. While looking up, trying to hold her tears.

Be happy.

She’s sad that he left. But she didn’t feel as hollow as before. Somehow, a boy she thought a fairy, with pretty smile and gentle eyes, with beautiful colored hair, with heart as big as the ocean, with warm hands, who always tried to ease her pain, had filled the empty space in her heart. And although he disappeared, bringing half of her heart with him, she didn’t feel as empty.

I’ll be around.

Tears didn’t stop rolling, but she smiled. For he would always be in her heart.