Last Farewell

Entry # 200 October 6,2013 1:42am

Am I wasting my time loving you?

Huang Zitao you have no idea what you're doing to me, no idea how much turmoil you've caused me, and you have no idea how much you've made me fall for you.

Have you any idea what you've done to me, your own best friend? No I suppose not since you're having the time of your life with choi jinri A.K.a

Sulli.

We used to do everything together, from sleepovers when we were kids to late night studying in the library, but it's all gone now because you're so hooked up on your new girlfriend.

I've always tried calling and texting but when you do answer I get short replies or get sent straight to voice mail.... Do you hate me completely now? I just wanted my old friend back, more importantly the I guy I love.

Should I stop loving you? Should I let go of my childhood love? Should I move on? So many questions unanswered because I'm afraid, afraid that if I let you go that I'll never be the same because I've been so dependent on you. You were my stepping stone, my supporter, so if I let you go who will take your place?

No one? Or maybe I'll become independent? Who knows ...

Maybe all these weeks of heartbreak will prepare for the future.........and so I've decided, decided to let you go and let myself be free from this heartache.

And so my dear Huang Zitao, I know you might never get a glimpse of This journal entry but I hope one day if we ever meet again you'll have seen it and you'll understand why I didn't show up that day, for I was hiding in the shadows getting my last glimpse of you before I leave, leave to somewhere you'll never find me. So now I bid you my last good bye,

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Last Farewell

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