Why is it always like this? Why is it always raining every time I need the sunshine to give me confidence? This gloomy and wet atmosphere only brings pessimistic prophecy to my head. Why am I showered with bad luck? I keep asking the same darn questions in my own head as I stretched out my arms and feel the raindrops on my palms. This is not good at all! I hate this rain! I accidentally swear in my head. 

“Jinki-ya” Called someone from the window. “Come in! It’s raining really hard outside. You shouldn’t get wet or you’ll catch a cold.” She waves her hands asking me to get through the door and be aside from the rain. I stepped in eventually, I can’t get sick because tomorrow I have test.

As I sat down and brush-off the raindrops that fell in my clothes, I see her behind the counter. She knotted her brown long hair to a bun, making her neck look even slimmer. She wears grey elbow-sleeve cotton shirt with navy blue jeans below her flowery apron with her red Chucks Converse. That style is not really particular; in fact it’s really standard. Though she didn’t give any effort to how she looks, she is always looking gorgeous in my eyes.

  “What do you want to drink, Jinki-ya?” She asks me still behind the counter. “Should I pour you some coffee or tea?” as she is holding steamy tea pot in her right hand. 

“Just plain hot tea, noona” I answer her without replying her eye-contact. I am too messy to be looked at right now.

“Here, take this.” She put down a mug filled with hot tea on the counter. “I’m sorry I can’t keep you company. I still have to wash the dirty dishes from lunch before. You can make yourself comfortable.” 

“Yes, noona. Thank you.” I stand up and walk toward the counter.

“And because you’re the only one left in this café, I’ll give you special treatment; FREE REFILL drinks! So you can just self-serve yourself.” As she is standing in front of the sink doing the dishes, she turns her back and smile at me. 

I sat down in the table by the window. I keep staring at the steamy mug and the window that full of rain that dripping as if they’re in race. Ah, how this thing could happen? This morning, the weather seems so fine and sunny all day. But when I decide to visit noona’s café and make sure of my feelings to her, heaven suddenly pouring lots and lots of rain. This is really annoying! Every time something important will take place, rain will be pouring so hard that the important event can be totally failed.

Is it me? Like everyone said, why is it if Onew were there, it’ll always be raining? Me myself can’t answer it because I also asking the same thing.  I only filled my brain with that useless thing. It supposed to be epic day to me, because I have made up my mind to confess my feelings to noona today. But that darn rain won’t settle up mind. 

When I’m taking sip of the tea that getting warm, “So how’s college now? Wow, it’s been long time since the two of us meet.” She asked me.

“Uhm, nothing special happened.” I can’t bring myself to talk longer sentence. 

“I miss you, Jinki.” She continues washing the dishes and all I could doo is starring at her long backs. 

“Me too, noona. Why don’t you come visit the university sometimes?” 

She is my senior at my university. When I’m still a freshman, she is a senior and still working her final paper. Maybe from the seniors that I know, only her that personally close to me. Among all my classmates, only me that call her noona instead of sunbaenim. And none of my friend call my birth name excepts her, the others call me my nickname Onew, only her that calls me by Jinki. She said if I want to call her noona, she should call me Jinki so that both of us could draw closer to each other. When she said that thing at her graduation, I only replied okay and get my head down because I’m too shy to see her bright smile while wearing the graduation gown. She is glowing with grace and beauty. She left me speechless.

“Well, now you’re a sophomore. And it’s not long before the year changes and you’ll be in junior year. Time flew fast when you’re not realizing it at all.” She might have stopped doing the dishes because all I hear is the water streaming and she stand silent few minutes before she continue talking. “How’s your love life? Have you got yourself a girl friend?” She said over her shoulder.

I’m so flustered by the question “Why did you asking that out of the blue noona?”

“Hahaha, I got you off guard, didn’t I? From your reaction, I’m guessing you’re still single right? You’re already has many cute and pretty hoobae (junior) now. You can just lay your eyes on them and ask her out you know. With your handsome face and heavenly voice, who dare to reject you, Jinki-ya” She giggled.

“I still haven’t found the girl that I wanted to date, noona. And I think it’s still being best if I focus on my study and career.” I try to answer in a light and joking manner. Don’t you realize, why I didn’t lay my eyes to the hoobae, because my eyes already belong to a special lady, which is YOU. Kim JungAh why can’t you see me as a man instead of a brother or your university hoobae? I continue whispering the sentence to the window, afraid that she would hear me.

“Well, you’ll find her someday Jinki. So we’re in the same situation. Single and lonely.” She ends it with a short laugh. I didn’t know whether it’s a form of funny or irony. I can’t read her expression because she still hasn’t finished doing the dishes.

After I finished up my tea, I see that the rain is not like a storm anymore. I see the rain drops slower and fewer. 

“I guess I have to leave now.” I pick up my bag as I stand up.

“Oh, already? It’s still raining though.” She said in worries. “I have finished my dishes. Now we finally get to chat more.”

“I have test tomorrow. I have to practice the song with piano. I don’t have much time left if I standby any longer. I’m sorry Jungah noona.” I walk to the counter and put the mug on it. “I have to leave. Thanks for the tea. It’s free right?” I send my playful smile. 

“Oh yeah? Hahaha. University life is hard, you’re left with no free day. But enjoy it while you can.” She replies my smile with the wise expression. “Thank you for coming”

“See you later!” I bow her goodbye.

“Come here as frequent as you can. I’m glad to have you here. See you Jinki!” She nod slightly and waves me goodbye.

I get myself out the door and standing below the canopy. I take out my umbrella and spreading it when suddenly someone is taking shelter beside me below the canopy. She is brushing the water off her shoulder when she looks up to me.

“It was sunny at school. But why suddenly when I’m walking home, the rain is pouring so bad. I should send complaint to the morning news. The weather forecast said it will be sunny today. But what did actually happen huh?” She keeps on complaining like she doesn’t even need to breathe while pouting her lips. 

I silently give her looks from head to toe. She is just 5-7 cm shorter than me. Her high school uniform is wet and her socks already got brownish from the puddle that she stepped her foot on at the street.

“Darn, I’m all drenched now. “ She is looking at me. 

I only look back at her and give her no response. I asked her “What is it?”

“Ah nothing. Nothing” she shakes her head.

When my umbrella is spread up and I’m finally ready to step out to the rain. 

She finally said “Wait!” I turn my head. “You’re not going to offer me to share umbrella with you? Though you see me all drenched from rain. You sure a guy with no manner.” She gives her annoyed look while I’m speechless. I don’t know what to do.

“What do you mean?” I still don’t get it.

“Can’t you offer me to share your umbrella and walk me home? My house is not so far from here.” She said half-ordering me.

What does this girl want? I don’t even know her and she ask me to share my umbrella and walk her home. Is she not in the right mind or what? I grumble to myself.

“Are you just going to stand there and pretend to hear nothing?” She folds her arm.

“Haven’t your parents told you that you shouldn’t go along a stranger? Didn’t your teacher teach that?” I give my firm question.

“I think I’m quite wise when it comes to judging people. I see you’re a good guy and you will take me to my doorstep safely, won’t you?” She is pushing herself to me. “You’re quite timid at first but once people get to know you, they’ll know how weird your taste of humor. You also has quite weird laugh. And from you varsity jacket, I guess you majored in music. Am I right?” She smirks nonchalantly.

“Whaaa~at?” I send her my surprised and amazed look. “How did you?”

“Hahaha. I got you! So now won’t you walk me home now? It’s getting dark.” I finally see her sweet smile when she add “Pleaseeeeeee”

She walked out of the canopy to the pouring rain. I can’t bring myself but to walk towards her and finally get the umbrella above both of us. I can’t pretend that I don’t care and see her drenched in the heavy rain to think that she will catch cold. I’m not that bad guy. I’m a good guy like she said.

“Finally you get to your mind.” She smiles at me.

“Where to?” I ask her when we are at an intersection. 

“To the right.” Then she introduces herself. “My name is Namjoo. I’m in my last year at Seoul Arts High School. What’s yours?”

“Uh, me?” I stutter myself. “Uhm, my name is Lee Jinki but you can call me Onew, it’s what’s my friend call me. I’m now a sophomore in Chungwoon University, broadcasting music major.” I don’t know how I confuse myself and introduce myself in a formal way. Who is she? Why she address me like we are close acquaintance? We just met today. What a strange lady.

She’s actually not that bad. She has a fair skin and her plump cheeks have charms. Her light-brown wavy hair that is as long as her shoulder is wet, but she still has that cute quality. She has a big eyes that full of emotion and the way she talks is just the thing that can make someone shut their mouth and listen to her. She keeps smiling while stepping puddles and splash the water. I see the end of my pants already full of mud from her actions but I can’t do anything about it. She is enjoying it. 

 “What are you doing at the café earlier?” She says in an interrogation manner. 

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You have this umbrella, yet you are standing there in front of the café cluelessly? It’s weird you know, when you can just open up your umbrella and see yourself home.” She looks at me out of curiosity. I stop my step.

“Well, little girl. It’s actually none of your business.” I wish she would stop asking but she just won’t.

“It must be having anything to do with girl’s right?” She smirks again. “Did she stand you up at the café before you finally decide that she’s not worth your time?” 

“How can you???” She drives me crazy.

“Well, you’re the type that easy to read. You see, you can’t be poker face every time I got you off guard. You always have this surprised-looks and your pupil dilated. You must be the type of guy who loves ballad song and cry easily over something.” 

WHAT IS SHE DOING? THIS BRAT!!!!!!! How could she read me so easily and correctly? All the things she mentions were parts of my traits. I’m kind of emotional. I already watched Titanic, but I always find myself emotional at the ending when Leonardo diCaprio is drowning.

“Where are we headed now?” I try to distract her questions.

“Turn right.” But she just won’t stop. “So who is she? Is she your classmate? Is she pretty? Does she have big s? How tall is she? She must be so pretty to make you head over heels for her.” 

“Are you really a high school or Psychology student actually?” I let out a big sigh before I see her bulging her eyes out. “Oh well, she is actually 3 years older than me. She’s my senior at university. We met accidentally in the university music festival.”

I think to myself a minute before I continue. “She is not the prettiest girl I’ve seen but she has this charisma that I get from no one but her. I fall for her from the first time that we exchange name.” I don’t understand how I keep telling her the story. It just happened. She’s lowering her head and keeps stepping the water puddle.

“So who is this girl?” She asks me right away.

“Well, you know the café where we take shelter before? She’s the owner of the café.” I tell that to her face just to see how taken-aback she was, she didn’t see that coming. I finally can see her shocked expression, I smile to myself victoriously. HAHAHA.

“So are you two officially dating or what?”

“Well not yet. You see, I was just preparing my heart to confess to her today. But I’m in no luck with weather. Every time I plan to do something important, the rain always falls heavily. And it’ll just take my mood and spirit was washed away.” I sighed. “It’s like the heaven tell me not to do it, you know.” I’m remembering the pain I have to hold because of those things happened. I just smile to the sky.

“How can you bring yourself into thinking that?” She curiously asked me. “You know that in few cultures the falling rain was considered as a good luck and blessing from God. How can you be so pessimistic over that?”

“Well, I think that the condition is not helping at all. I feel that I’m going to confess to her in a nice day. So even if she rejects me, I still will have the sun shines over me. But I’d really hope she will accept me anyway.” I take a deep breath.

“Onew oppa, may I ask something?” She suddenly asks for my permission politely.

“Huh? What is it? You can just back to your straightforward nature you know. Why with the formality all of sudden?” I giggle myself over her question.

“Well, I’m afraid I’ll be wrong. Is the person you’re talking about is the owner of the Venus Café, Jungah eonnie?” She stops her steps so sudden.

“How did you know?” I smile at her in amazement. “You can be a fortune teller you know! How did you know it’s Jungah?” I laughed at her sincerely. 

“Hmmm, I just happen to know the café owner. How did it start anyway?”

“It started when I’m still a freshman. There was this annual music festival in my university. Back in high school, I won many singing competition. And there was a sunbae who withdrawn his performance because he needs to go abroad for another performance. The show committees heard of my experience and ask me to fill in….” As I recall my memories, the entire scenes were played in my head.

That was my freshman summer. I still adapting to university life when the committee sunbae ask me over the phone whether I can fill in for the vocal empty spot. And he added that I should practice playing the piano for the song. I said its okay. It can be a good experience for me and to get people known me for my ability as a freshman.

Little did I know, it was a duet performance when I come to the music room to practice, there she was with her shorter hair down sitting in front of the piano, smiling to me.

“Hi, nice to meet you! I’m sorry to bother your summer holiday to practice for the festival. We’ll be performing duet. I’ve heard your well-grounded singing. Actually I’ve seen one of your performances back in high school from Youtube. Eh, I’m sorry. I must be talking too much for introduction. I’m Kim Jungah.” She stands up just to see that our heights are not that difference, just about 10 cm. Perfect for a couple.

I don’t know how the sun ray from the window and the wind that breeze through it just make she shines more. The window behind her makes her skins glowing. She’s the prettiest at that very moment, like Mother Nature just showered with every pixie dust it has. I just wish time would stop as I admire her charms more.

“Ah, my name is Onew. I’m flattered you have look for me to that point. Thank you sunbaenim.” I bow 90 degree to show my respect. “I hope we can work harmoniously. Please take a good care of me.”

“Ah, don’t be that formal! I’m sure we’ll be good to each other. Onew is kind of an unusual name. Is it your real name?

“Ah, my birth name actually is Lee Jinki but Onew is my stage name. It happens that my friends call me Onew more often than Jinki.”

“I see then. But I prefer to call you Jinki you know. It feels more familiar than Onew. Can I?”

“As you please, sunbaenim. It doesn’t matter.” I answer abruptly to hear her statement. No one ever talk to me like that. They always prefer Onew, as it feels more western than Jinki.

“Hahaha, you can lose the over-formality. We should be building our chemistry now. I will look forward to the time you call me noona instead of sunbae.” She smiles… I lost myself that time.

The d-day comes as prepared. It was summer festival. The stage has been standing gloriously in the university main-field. The audio quality is also the best. The song has been practiced harmoniously by the two of us. My piano play has reached the expert level for that song. Nothing could go wrong now. We were warming up our throat backstage, when suddenly, out of the blue, from the sky, raining was falling hard and drenched all the stage property. The staffs were running here and there bringing plastic to cover for the expensive and electronic logistic. The last performer also running backstage and the audience running to take shelter in the nearest building. Because the weather forecast it’ll be fairly cloudy. The staff prepared the stage without hood, it’s an open stage since the sun won’t be too hot and no one expected the rain. The stage property was damaged because the sudden rain. We’re lucky that we’re under the artist tent.

“Why is it always happening like this whenever I perform?” I mumble to myself, didn’t realize that it was loud enough for Jungah to hear.

“Wow. Really? It always rain?”

“Yes. I’m afraid I was the one who brings bad luck. After all, it was supposed to be our performance right after this.” I looked down to my regret.

Another artist and staff that share the same tent with us keep talking about my bad luck and how did I do that to their glorious festival. Every year, the festival is the most-anticipated show in the university and I made it ending badly like this. It was the first time raining happen in the history of the event. I’m so embarrass to lift up my head when I hear Jungah said.

“You guys are not in school anymore. Don’t act up like a kid and blaming this entire event to him. It’s not his fault and not like he’s asking God for it you know. Be mature, won’t you?” She nags at all of the people there, half-shouting, charismatically.

She looked at me and say, “Don’t bother listening to them, Jinki-ya. I always think that rain bring a good luck you know. Now, let’s move to the auditorium, the staff is preparing to move the festival performance there. We still have a stage to rock on you see.” She was assuring me with her calm smile.

That time, Kim Jungah have no idea that she really got me there. Without any reason, inexplicably, unavoidable, irrevocably, I have fallen in love.

Our performance went well. Some of the audiences were standing applause for us. My joys were just hundreds time more to see the girl that stood beside me is her. 

“It just Jungah eonnie that I know.” Namjoo respond. “She has that pure personality inside of her. Even in the gloomy situation, she just shines like the sun, right?” She look to my eyes directly that I’ve taken aback by it.

“Maybe I just want to confess to her in sunny day to really convey how I feel about her.” At this point it’s too late to stop spilling every bit of my heart to her. I have no idea that today I met someone just like her. Peculiar girl that is so hard to be pushed away. She slower her steps as I ask her where to continue walking, she pointed to the right. “So how about you Namjoo? Do you have someone that you like? Maybe a senior just like my story?”

“Actually, that guy is really older than me.” Somehow this bitter smile appears at her face. “It’s no use saying this.”

“Hey, hey. You made me tell you my story. You know, it’s better to share our story to ease the burden on our shoulder.” I pat her shoulder to encourage her.

“Actually this oppa that I like likes another girl. He already loves someone else.”

“Yours is worse than mine.” I show my sympathy. “So who is this guy that you like?”

“She has a crush on my older sister.” At that answered, I widened my eyes. I didn’t realize, she has that kind of story. With her looks and intelegence, no guy can resist her charms. Even I can fall for her if we knew each other longer.

“It must really difficult for you to handle that feeling.”

“It’s okay. I don’t feel that bad.” She really stops her step this time. She turns to face me and bow to me. “Thank you for taking me home. We have arrived in my house.”

I can’t covered up my surprise when I realized we just circling the neighborhood and finding that we stop in front of that familiar face I knew.

“This is my sister’s café and my room is in the second floor. That window.” She tells me as if nothing happened.

Then it really struck me like lightning as I remember how this story goes.

“So… so… is this… this café… Jungah noona?” I cant bring myself to stop my stutter. I always do this when I’m nervous and surprised.

“Yes, Onew oppa. I’m Kim Namjoo, Kim Jungah’s maknae dongsaeng. I’m sorry for the whole strange stroll before. I’m sorry.”

“That guy… your feeling… how can? Is that guy…?” She cut my sentence just to answer.

“You know that picture of you two performing. I keep staring at that picture whenever I came into Jungah eonnie room, I noticed you from that picture. That picture of you wearing plaid shirt with butterfly tie and cardigan keep going on my mind these past year. The story about you I keep on hearing from my eonnie as she keeps talking about you. About how kind you are, how you are a manner-guy, how good your voice is, how did you perfectly play the piano at the festival? It’s just filling up my imagination.” She tells me a story I never knew before.

Unknowingly, I reached out her hands. “I didn’t know that Namjoo. I don’t know. I’m sorry.” I let the umbrella fall in the midst of the rain.

“It’s okay, Onew oppa. You’re just proving that you’re all I’ve imagined from a guy.” She let go of my hand to hold her shoulder strap of her backpack. “But still, this experience is kind of bittersweet for me.” She looked at me with her big eyes that wet with tears now.

“I’m sorry Namjoo” I can’t look up to her.

“Nothing to apologize, oppa. It’s you who fell first for eonnie. I can’t do anything about this. Only you who can fix this story to a happy ending.”

“How can I make things better, Namjoo?” I ask to the level I’m pleading to her. My heart just filled with all regret and bitter feeling.

“It’s still raining. The same situation where you fell in love with Jungah eonnie, right oppa?”

I nodded my head.

“So you can just rewrite your own story. You can make sure it end just the way you plan.” Her left eye let go few drops that I know its tears, not raindrop because we already standing below the canopy.

Suddenly someone was calling for Namjoo. “What are you doing there Joo? You should be changing your clothes or you’re going to catch colf.” Jungah walking towards Namjoo and hugging her with dry towel. As she looks beyond Namjoo, she sees me with widened eye. “Jinki-ya! What are you doing here? I thought you have left for home?”

“I came back noona for you. There’s something I want to tell you.” I dare myself to say that sentence. This is the time, Jinki. Your chance.

“I’m going to go to my room and change.” Namjoo left without words as I see her backview that full of sorrow yet she already let go of everything.

“What is it Jinki?” I dive into her eyes. I see something sparkling there.

And I continue telling story that she doesn’t know.