“How are things getting along with Sunkyu?” Joonmyun asks softly. Jongdae bites his bottom lip and hides the lower half of his face behind his knitted shawl. It takes him twenty seconds to answer.

“Everything’s fine. I guess,”

He mutters back, shoving frozen fingers deep in his pockets.

The pavements are blanketed in three inches of snow and he can already feel the coldness start to seep through the soles of his worn out boots – except they aren’t really decent enough to even be called boots. He shivers under the thin material of his jacket.

Joonmyun gives him a devastatingly beautiful smile and Jongdae’s heart lurches up his throat. Here we go again.

“Good to know then,” Joonmyun grins, before slipping a cigarette between his lips and lighting its end. Jongdae purses his own lips and inhales a deep breath.

This is not how it’s supposed to go. This is not how it’s supposed to end.

He balls his fists so tight he’s sure there will form red crescents on his palms.

“Look, I’m not happy being with her,” Jongdae blurts out abruptly before he can even catch himself.

Ah, this.

Joonmyun stops mid-walk and frowns at him. “I was never happy being with Sunkyu from the very start,” Jongdae says tiredly, carding his fingers through his hair. Joonmyun detaches the cigarette stick from his lips and settles it between his fore and middle finger.

“Then why? Why did you even date her if you don’t like her?” he asks, grazing his fingers against Jongdae's hand. Jongdae shies away from the touch.

“Jongdae…” Joonmyun calls out when said boy only stares at him wordlessly. Jongdae tries to push the words out his throat, but quickly decides against it when he accidently meets Joonmyun’s eyes.

And just like that, his resolve shatters

He responds in a form of a shrug, before walking one step ahead of Joonmyun.

Because she looks like you, Jongdae thinks numbly.

You, who I can never have.

Hi there! I'm an avid Suchen shipper but I haven't been writing some suchen lately, so you see, this would probably be a word vomit of my bottled up suchen writing feels and all that jazz. yeah. Hope you can all look forward to it!

Thank you so much to Lairapie @ ✂Wanderlust▿▿ for making the wonderful poster ^^

do visit their shop~

Pairing: Suho/Chen
Rating: pg-15
Length: oneshot
Summary: Kim Jongdae is a desperate idiot who wants to change things he certainly can't.