Let me tell you the story ‘bout the call that changed my destiny~

…Oh wait, this isn’t Backstreet Boys…oh well, we shall start off in a similar manner because it seems like a decent starting point anyway.

I am the ever so well known Park Kwang Woo…okay, perhaps not so well known. I’m a first year university with an undecided major, though I’m leaning towards something having to deal with Chemistry…and probably something else mathematically oriented, but nothing specific yet.

So, now, let me tell you about the amazingly invigorating tale about my sister, Alex Park. You see, she’s…I don’t know how to describe her. Different, perhaps? If anything, she’s a scientist. An overly obsessed skeptic that must know everything about…well everything. Sure, it’s amusing to keep simple pieces of info from her at times just to see how much it irks her, but it’s annoying too…or maybe that’s just me because I see her every single day of my life…nah, that’s obviously not it. But honestly, it’s like nothing can be taken at face value, it always has to be completely taken apart and examined, like the physiology of the human body…

And exactly why am I going to tell you her story? Obviously, it’s because I just love her so much (remind me to rinse my tongue with bleach later on) that I would take time out of my day to tell you about her. I mean, it’s obviously because of my love for her, and not because I would find it amusing to see the slightest bit of human emotion in her at all. How could you even think that? What kind of person do you think I am?! (Someone please go tell her to finally replace that dead light bulb in her spectrum of human emotion, because it’s a bit dull without it…haha.)

Okay, so I’m telling you her story because I’m bored, and, not to mention, it involves one of our friends in the ever so popular band, 2PM under JYP-

“Kwang, I hate you.”

Well, if it isn’t the devil’s advocate herself. I’m surprised her demonic horns haven’t scraped the surface of our ceiling yet, it’s quite miraculous actually. (Oh the contradictory diction)

Wondering why our names are different? Well, it was simple. We were half Filipino, half Korean. Our father was Korean, our mother was Filipino, and thus, each named the child that corresponded to their specific gender. In other words, our parents were dorks, and we suffered…okay, so not really suffered. Perhaps it was a little bit of suffering on my sister’s side for Alexis was much too girly for her personality anyway, but whatever…

“More than the usual?”

“No, just the usual.”

“Oh okay.” And that was the conclusion of our daily morning conversation…well, at least the first part of it. We had a very healthy brother-sister relationship, honestly! “So how’s your morning been so far?”

“You know, every single time you ask me something like that, I think you killed someone.”

…

“Well every time you’re on your laptop typing like there’s no tomorrow, I have a feeling I’m going to have to plan someone’s funeral in the near future.”

“Don’t think so highly of yourself.”

Ugh, I hate her (I say this in the most affectionate way possible).

“Oh, and the feeling’s mutual.”

You know, I really (like really) wished she would stop tapping into my brain with her weird evil-istic powers because it’s not natural…at least not to such an obviously accurate degree.

“Whatever, ate. What are you doing anyway?” (Note: ate means older sister in Tagalog, so don’t even go there and be like ‘oh my god, why are you eating your sister in such a horrible and grammatically incorrect manner’ or I’ll hunt you down and eat you myself…metaphorically that is…I think.)

“Since when do you care?”

“I don’t, but tell me anyway.”

“That loses its purpose.”

“Us arguing every day also loses its point after a while, but we do it anyway.”

“Why, what ever do you mean, dear brother?”

Oh she did not just pull that on me.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, dearest ate,” I responded with such horrible emphasis that I probably should have gone to receive some reconciliatory service for it, “But that’s passed. What do you want for breakfast?”

“Just eat by yourself. I’m busy.”

“Junho-hyung wouldn’t like that, and I know that you know that I know that you know that…you know that.”

“Yes, I do.”

“So let’s eat…my treat.”

“I’m busy, Kwang.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, what else is new? ‘I’m busy’ well guess what. I’d personally believe you if you didn’t say that every single other day of the year. Let’s go, sis.”

“No.”

Pft, and it’s obviously a wonder why she has no other friends…then again, that would be implying that I’m her friend, which is just creepy…okay, so forget I ever said that.

“Ugh, whatever. I’m going to see what’s going on with the guys then. I’ll see you later.”

“I’d rather NOT see you later, but we’ll pretend like I care. Come back soon~”

“What in the world-”

“Yo, Woo-bro!”

I wasn’t even able to complete an entire phrase as soon as the door to the 2PM dorm opened before the infamous Jang Wooyoung had literally attacked me. How I had managed not to fall backwards onto the hard wooden floor was beyond me, but that did not stop me from stumbling backwards a couple of centimeters from the initial impact of the big kid’s lunge at me. Honestly, how the rest of the members deal with this every day and survive was beyond me, but it was something that they should be admired for, along with their obvious singing and dancing, but survival skills were also rather admirable in some view points.

“Wooyoung, get off.” My voice was a little muffled due to the fact that he had captured me in such a position in which my mouth was digging into the fabric of his clothing that had concealed his right shoulder.

“I missed you bro~”

No, we were not exactly “brothers” though that was probably obviously from the difference in our last names. It was none other than Wooyoung that had first deemed us the “Woo brothers” because of the eminent ‘Woo’ in our names, Wooyoung, and Kwang Woo. I had no say in it whatsoever…

“Yeah yeah yeah-”

“The Woo brothers have been reunited! HUZZAH!!!”

“Yo, Woo, SHUT UP!” called a distant voice which I immediately recognized as Nichkhun-hyung. He was the only one that ever told Wooyoung to do anything anyway.

“S-Sorry Hyung!”

“What in the world is happening anyway?”

I finally found the opportunity to ask the question that had been plaguing my mind for the horrendous span of two full minutes. Before I had been so elegantly attacked by this person beside me who still had his arm slung around my shoulder, I saw six of the 2PM members in groups of two each (well, other than Nichkhun and Junsu who seemed like they were just chillin’ in a corner) talking about something while I found Junho in the kitchen banging his head against the table…poor table.

Now you see, Lee Junho was special…in the sense that I probably knew him best out of the rest of the guys, probably because he stuck to my sister’s side like a parasite whenever he could get the chance. Obviously, this was not obsession, nowhere near it. He was just…a very very very very (two hours later) very very very dedicated dongsaeng that obeyed practically all of my sisters wishes…with some leeway, the leeway being me telling him that the world’s end would come much sooner if he continued to do such things.

…Okay, so he liked my sister. Was it that obvious?

“Well you see-”

“KWANG!” I heard Junho suddenly jump out of his chair, and before I knew what was happening, I was inside a darkened room (because the lights weren’t on) hearing the audible click of the door being locked as Junho looked at me with a rather panicked look on his face.

“Hi there…” I started off stupidly.

“Hi Kwangie~ What’s up? How’s your day been so far? Good? That’s good. Want to do anything? Hungry? I can go coo-”

“Slow. Down.”

He immediately stopped.

“Inhale,” I told him, and he did. “Exhale.” He obeyed once more.

“Thanks…”

“No problem…now what’s up with you, and why does it look like the others are planning on taking over the world again?”

“Yah, Lee Junho! Come out here and face us like a man!” That was obviously Jay with his overly Americanized ways of speaking…on the other side of the door that is.

“Why is Jay failing at threatening you?” I asked.

“Okay…so…” he started… “…s-so…”

“Yeah…” this was such an invigorating conversation, I know. I could barely keep up. “What is it?”

“I-”

“What? Did the others finally figure out that you liked my sister or something?”

“HOW’D YOU KNOW?!”

…was this dude serious? Well let me mentally apologize to him. Dear Lee Junho, I’m very sorry that you’re so horribly blunt in expressing your feelings for my sister, but that’s just how life is. Believe me, I was surprised too when I found out you liked her (not the fact that you liked someone because that was obvious, but more because you liked her of all people), but I got over it, so you should too. Sincerely, Kwang~

That was the most beautiful inner monologue that I’d ever come up with. You all should be proud of me…

“Uh, you’re not exactly subtle about it…” Was there really a ‘nice’ way of putting this? “But that still doesn’t explain why you’re staying away from them.” Okay, so it sorta did, but let’s not reveal that to him…he’s not that smart.

“Well it just sorta came out, you know? We were eating breakfast and suddenly, Wooyoung was like, ‘Whoooa, JUUUUUN, you like Alex?’ and I was like, ‘WHAT?!’ and then Jay was like, ‘Duuuuude, that’s pretty epic. She’s pretty feisty.’ And…yeah.”

“Okay…”

“And then Khun was all like, ‘So when are you gonna tell her?’ and then Taec jumps in and was like, ‘And how?’ and after that…I couldn’t answer. I haven’t even thought about this stuff. You gotta help me Kwangie~” he took me by my shoulders and started shaking me frantically to the point where I was getting a headache…

“STOP!”

“Oh right…sorry,” and he finally let go of me, giving me a slight moment to regain my composure.

“You know this still doesn’t explain why the guys were in groups of two…at least I think it was in groups of two…”

“Well…you see…I sorta told them that I didn’t have any way of tell her…so I asked them-”

“YOU. DID. NOT.” My eyes literally bulged out of their sockets as I looked at this man in front of me incredulously. WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS HE THINKING?!

“I’M SORRY!”

“Tha-…You-…Them-…NO! You know what?! You’re on your own!”

“NOOO~ Kwang, you have to help me, pleeease!”

“What the hell am I supposed to do?!”

“I don’t know…maybe tell me some things about your sister?”

“You. Spend. More. Time. With her. Than I do.”

“But but but but but-”

Ugh, I hate Junho-hyung. He was tolerable beforehand, but he’s more of a kid than I am! And in all honesty, I lost respect for him when I found out he liked my sister. I mean seriously, was that even possible?

Just ask her at least what she likes to eat or something, please? Every time we go out, I just bring her to wherever and she never comments on anything…

…You know, sometimes I wish I wasn’t the youngest. Freakin’ conscience won’t let me disobey my hyungs when I REALLY wanted to…stupid conscience. Go die while you’re at it, save me the effort of having to kill you myself… So I got back about two hours later from their dorm, miraculously coming back in one piece, and literally had to mentally prepare myself before opening the door to our house. It was nerve-wracking really, coming up with some type of mental script before facing the evil head on that would most likely end up in my demise…

“I’m home~” I said, my voice echoing down the vast halls of the house.

“Yup,” I heard my ever so lovable sister give her very neutral response towards my greeting.

Nonetheless, I found myself trudging up that immaculate white carpet staircase up to her room, knocking on the door, and entering without even waiting for any type of response from her.

“What do you want?”

She didn’t even both looking up from her laptop screen to face me. It was moments like these that I honestly feared her the most (though I feared her all the time, it’s just that all those other times were tolerable to a feasible extent while now was not). I looked at the mirror on one side of the room, seeing as how it had reflected in the most perfect angle at my sister’s face on her computer screen, the laptop’s glare eminent on her glasses’ lenses. The face that could pass off for a 15 year old (she’s 23), the small little smile-smirk on her lips, the ever so focused attention to whatever it was on the screen she was looking at while typing rapidly and seemingly endlessly, all inducing this dark, foreboding feeling within my soul.

Oh, and let’s not forget the very noticeable pink color of her laptop that had formed the outline of the evil nature lurking within her. It was clearly a juxtaposition that emphasized the evil dweller that sat right in front of it… Not to mention that poster of a shirtless Bi Rain on the opposite side of the room that is probably the cause of all of my misfortunes (because of his very loyal worshipper that sat in front of the pink evil-ness).

“H-Hey, ate…” I started, “Have you eaten yet?”

This had caused her to stop typing abruptly and turn towards me, adjusting her glasses as she did so, “Who did you kill and why?”

“What in the world are you talking about…? Can’t I, your dear brother, ask if you’ve eaten yet?”

“Are you on drugs?”

I merely shrugged, “What do you like to eat?”

“You’re serious?” I nodded, which she, in return, still looked at me doubtfully but answered nonetheless, “I like cake…cheesecake…banana and blueberry.”

“Thanks…”

“And why exactly are you asking me this?”

“No reason…” I grinned like an idiot, trying to hide my true purpose, not that it was an earth shattering purpose or anything, but it was always fun to mess with her.

“…Tell me.”

“Like I said, no reason.” Though obviously, my slight snicker had indicated otherwise.

“You’re purposely doing this because you know it irks me. Just tell me!”

“No.”

“Yah, Park Kwang Woo!”

Oh if only you know how amusing it was to have her so fired up for such a mundane reason…

“Uh, I can’t. I have to go…” I replied dumbly.

“Fine.” I was about to leave when- “You just got home. Bake me some cake.”

Ugh…stupid Junho hyung better pay me back for this…

“But I can’t bake!”

“Too bad.”