"afterall, we are only humans. And for humans, the world becomes ourselves"

 

luhan wakes up in a bed with blinding lights and smell of disinfectant. His eyes attempt to adjust to the new views, which was shut down for a long time. the room is covered in white, but not in pureness. but he feels odd. as if the world he is waking up to, is not the actual world where he lives.

but he ignores it for sometimes he felt that way towards the world.

the door of fate creaks open and tears of joy spurts out of each of them who passed it as his beloved ones.

but strangely he feels odd again. this feeling is very foreign that he can't help his heart to churn.somebody is supposed to be here also, in this room, smiling at him.

"kai, somethiung feels off. isn't there supposed to be another person on this room?"

kai replies luhan."what do you mean, luhan? these people are the only ones that become your beloved"of white lies and tinted eyes. kai replied too quickly and too naturally.

luhan smiles, but he doesn't believe kai.
luhan wakes up to mysteries waiting to be solved.


"luhan, i will wait for you to find me! because i will not go anywhere. even when it takes years for you to find me. i will wait here forever, so you can finally show me the paradise you promised me on the past"


it's that voice again. that voice as exuberant as the chirping birds and as soothing as the of the wind. he doesn't have a clue about who the girl is and nobody ever speak up about her existence. she is waiting for him, even though he got all the time he needs, she is a human and nobody in this world can stay being alone forever.


luhan is going through his things, but all of the pictures are filled with him with his friends and family. the mystery is too hard. but luhan, he is lucky, he finds his journal and flip it open to a picture of him with a girl. it was a picture with thousand butterflies of emotiions, there were a lot of happiness in the girl's eyes as if her eyes are bound to smile for eternity.


he begins to read his journal. the first few pages filled with the daily routines of his life. but it gets more animated as the name of a girl was mentioned.

i met a girl today
her name is yoona and she is annoying
she keeps talking and talking and talking
she is different compared to the other girls
the epitome of destruction
but she doesn't seem bad
because she doesn't judge kai for his love towards kyungsoo

so, the mystery girl's name is yoona

yoona smiles too much
she gives me goosebumps for smiling way too often
but she is pleasant
she appreciates the little things life cast aside
she is the one who wants to learn how to love
but she is still an idiot for hitting me

luhan seems to be fond of her. as the pages brushed against his fingertips more and more, something catches his eyes.

today, i will propose to yoona
i will actually marry her
i hope that she is happy with my choice

"so eventually, you will know the truth"

kim jongin is hollow.with blackbirds drawn on his back and shadows shading his eyes, he starts to weep. palms pressed to his eyes to stop the morose gouging out from his eyes, for he coulodn't protect the life of his friend.

"yoona died for you. i tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen. she refused to listen. all she think about is you. she can't help the thought of living without you and exhanged her life for yours"

luhan is petrified and stunned to his spot. memories flooded back to him in a song which yoona hummed to him when he was sad.

his eyes blackened and a strong force pushes jongin out of his room, and slams the door close, with jongin shouting to him that he needs to live; luhan needs to live.

"luhan please don't do anything stupid. it's not your fault that yoona died, yoona doesn't want you to die, please don't kill yourself. i'm begging you, han, yoona had died for you i can't bear another death please luhan-"

"-don't leave me alone, kyungsoo had left me and he took yoona with him, hyung please don't leave me"

the holocaust was done with blood oozing from luhan's room. jongin is left all alone weeping in the pool of luhan's blood and tears and anguish.

[lost memories-fertig]