“I wish you love me.”

“I thought we could be together..”

Here I am in her house, seating by the dining table.

Many memories were made here, “I remember you would always say the food , don’t you?” I smiled to myself as I look into space once again.

Sighing was so much louder in an empty house without you, “Jae Yoon, are you living well up there? Somewhere I can’t be there to be with you now..”

It had been a year since she left, many things changed, yet many things didn’t.

I met her parents when they rushed over to Korea so as to settle Jae Yoon’s funeral, her mother was crying nonstop while her father had to hold onto her so that she wouldn’t fall.

“I suppose you are Jae Yoon’s boyfriend, Kim Jong In?” the elder man looked at me, I was surprised how he knew about my name and just then,

“Jae Yoon told me about you, that girl likes you a lot.” He said with a faint smile.

“She told you so?” I asked, feeling my heart clenching and something just hurts so much.

He nodded and we took a seat on the floor, he started speaking, “Jae Yoon is a really innocent girl who doesn’t think much, she would always be focusing on studies but because of the kindness in her, she gets bullied as a result. We knew she was being out casted when her teacher called us and told us about her situation, and she requested to come over to Korea.”

“She said that she has a good friend here and would be fine if she stays here.” Her father said.

I nodded, “She told me about her, the girl is her classmate and her childhood friend.”

He nodded, “Then she started talking about a guy whom he knew recently. At first she said he was annoying but after that she started talking about how the guy cooks, how he would treat her nicely.”

Tears fell as I remembered how she was before, “Young man, I am sure Jae Yoon wouldn’t want to see you being upset because of her, she would love it if you could be able to get on with life without her.” Her father said so as he gave a pat on my shoulder.

“Uncle, I am really glad to be able to love your daughter, she’s like an angel to me.” I said with eyes moist with tears.

He nodded and said, “Thank you for once being her heaven.”

“Thank you, Uncle, Auntie, thank you for raising her up, she’s really wonderful.” I said.

The cremation took place 3 days later, her ashes were left in Korea and her parents decided to be back to America since the company is there but they had plans to be back in Korea a few years later once business gets stable.

Here in the house whereby we had so many memories, “Jae Yoon ah, what would happen to us if you didn’t leave that day?”

My hands were trembling slightly, “Wouldn’t you be with me if I were a little more stubborn and not let you go that day…”

I walked into her room and opened the drawer below her study desk, there was a diary, “Oh?” I took it out and there was a pin lock.

I tried it out with her birthday, ‘06241995’, it didn’t work..

“Would it be mine?” I thought but figured that the possibility probably would be close to zero, ‘14011994’

And the lock opened.

“She set my birthday as her diary pin?” I was really astonished though, this was unexpected.

I flipped open the book and reads,

’17.09.2013 Weather: Sunny, Mood: Feeling a little pissed off by an annoying so-called-famous guy’

I chuckled when I read the first line, “The first day we met..” I remembered it clearly.

It was indeed sunny that day, the sunlight was shining into the classroom when I was talking with Krystal and I spotted her crouching near the door.

‘I was mistaken to be an eavesdropper and gossiper today. Who would have known that he would be talking to his wife in the empty classroom, and he looked fierce. I don’t understand why Amber like him so much, he’s just that a little good-looking, other than that he’s just urgh..  I can’t even continue this.’

I laughed, “So she did think that I am good-looking, Jae Yoon ah, why can’t you be honest with yourself?”

‘And then blame myself for having no sense of direction,  if I knew the way back, I wouldn’t have got into this mess. But.. after knowing more about him from Amber, I thought he was pretty lonely. I hope for a girl who loves him truly would soon appear.’

‘Got to sleep, good night.’

I smiled, “This is just so much like her.”

I continued flipping onto the next entry, ’18.09.2013 Weather: Cloudy, Mood: Got myself caught in an unwanted mess but feeling alright’

“This was the day I asked her to be my girlfriend, I am glad Jae Yoon finds it alright.” I thought I should get myself into a more comfortable position and so I went to lie on bed and continued reading.

‘That annoying guy asked me to be his girlfriend, to act out in front of his current wife so as to divorce her. I thought it was really absurd at first, but that moment I saw desperation in his eyes, he had no more ideas left but to ask me for help. I figured, if I could do something for him just by doing the things he asked for, I thought it would be nice too.’

‘As long as I don’t get myself hurt, I thought everything would be fine. Plus, I am not a good actor though, I don’t think I could help him much. Probably his wife would know that we were just faking it out because I myself couldn’t visualize being with him. That’s it, good night. I hope everything would be fine.”

I had to really surrender myself to her, “Jae Yoon, how could you be so adorable..” I smiled and then went onto the next page.

’19.09.2013 Weather: Looks like it’s going to rain but it didn’t, Mood: Worried and upset for no particular reason’

‘You know, that annoying told me that he told his wife about me, I was pissed at first because I am not even prepared to do so but I later understood why, his wife did arrange for someone to watch us. I could sense that there was someone following me even if I am not with Jong In.’

‘And he cooks, the sandwich for lunch was really nice, but I decided to not praise him for that, he’s really arrogant though. *:p*’

I chuckled, “So she enjoyed my cooking, glad that you are..” then I continued reading,

‘Amber was angry with me, but I can’t explain the situation well..’

“Oh ya, Amber..” I made a mental note to myself to make sure to remember to explain this to Amber.

‘He treated me in a really gentle manner, making sure that I won’t fall after knowing that I sprained my ankle. We went for fitting today, I think I am really not suitable for that beautiful dress but..’

‘But he looked good in it.’

I smiled, “Of course I look good in that suit.”

I looked at my phone’s wallpaper and that was the picture whereby the staff took for her when she wore that dress that day in the fitting studio, “You are really beautiful Jae Yoon, the prettiest and the shiniest out of all whom I have seen so far.” I said.

‘But I guess I am just a normal girl, I wouldn’t be good enough for him.. I am not even Cinderella, the prince wouldn’t look at me right?’

My heart clenched, “It wasn’t you who was not good enough, you are perfect.. I was the one who isn’t being a prince to you, my princess..”

I continued on to the next page, there was a photo clipped in between, it was a photo of the night sky that day whereby we went to catch the meteor shower..

I turned over to the back of the photo, ‘I wish he could smile like this even when I leave. I love you, Kim Jong In.’

That moment, I could no longer hold myself together, “Jae Yoon..”

The photo was held near to the chest, tears fell, the pain was really hurting me..

“I love you Jae Yoon, my Jae Yoon.”

It was said that Kim Jong In left his company for Krystal and had Lay to help her with managing the company till she was able to take over fully. In the end, Krystal and Lay fell in love and both of them married, they had a daughter.

And Kim Jong In shared the pictures that he took while visiting other countries so as to continue star gazing and he would always leave a caption below the photo saying, ‘The shiniest star would always be with me.’

Kim Jong In looked up at the starry sky and smiled, “Han Jae Yoon, are you among those stars now? If you are, I hope you could see me and maybe miss me a little?”