Chapter 2
Wednesday...Thursday....
I stare at my phone, still in shock, as I read Taeyeon's message again for the nth time. While contemplating on what I should reply, I start thinking of the possibilities. Was it a dream? Is this what they call déjà vu? Or am I living the same day again? No, that’s impossible. I have to be realistic.
To: Taeyeon
What are you saying? Didn't we have the gathering yesterday?
Then I send it to her.
Minutes pass and there is still no reply from Taeyeon. If the day is really repeating then she should have replied right away right? I think to myself again but I only end up having headaches. I head to the bathroom to take a shower.
As the water flows throughout my body, I know that it's cold but I don't feel it. I just let it wrap my body. My mind is still wandering elsewhere though I'm not certain as to where that place is. Before my mind could go any further I stop. I shift to the now. I know that it's stupid. How can that even happen right? I walk out of the bathroom with only the piece of towel around me. I fish my phone out from the bed sheets.
Yah! Didn't I mention that we'll be meeting again soon? I told you yesterday! You're really getting old aren't you? You keep on forgetting things Sunny. Maybe I should accompany you to the hospital? xP
From: Taeyeon
Hmm, I don't really remember but that has always been my weak point, my memories. Now she’s going to tease me about it again. Taeyeon knows about it since we've been together since forever so I'm just going to entrust myself to her.
To: Taeyeon
You know me well. Thank you for the reminder as always. Text me the details, I'll be there. Also, stop teasing me. You’ve been saying that since you knew about my poor memory, that’s getting old.
I arrive at the venue. It has the same ambiance as the venue yesterday but the place is smaller. The walls are gray with strips of black. Taeyeon is nowhere in sight. I thought I'm going to see her like yesterday, how disappointing.
At the very corner of the room, I catch the silhouette of a person. I recognize her. She’s the girl from yesterday. This might as well be the chance for me to get to know her. I start walking towards her. With every step, I get closer. With every step, my feet get heavier.
Hesitation.
The act of hesitating; a delay due to uncertainty of mind or fear.
Which this is I think is the latter. Wait! Did I just think of all of that? I'm getting weird.
While I deal with myself, I didn't notice that she was actually looking at me. Her face tells me she's enjoying herself. Giggling, she starts to take little steps closer to where I was standing. I feel my body tense up at the sight. I'm definitely not like this yesterday right? What's happening to me? So embarrassing!
“Hi, you're Sunny right?” she says with that heart-melting smile of hers.
“Yes. You're Tiffany right?” I ask even though I was pretty sure about it. I wonder why I remember her name while everything else is like a blur.
“Oh! You remembered my name!” she says, ecstatic. She looks really happy that I remembered her as I saw her eyes sparkle. It was so beautiful. She suddenly hangs her head low. She looks up as if peaking at me; she looks really shy and I can see worry in her eyes like a secret of hers has been exposed.
“I really like it when you smile.”
“Thank you. I like your smile too.” She says as she looks down again.
“Really? I don’t think I have a good smile though.”
“That’s not true. I really like your smile. It....” she says, hesitating.
“It what?” I asked. I’m really curious of what she was about to say.
“Nothing. But really, you have a very good smile.”
“If you say so.” I said plainly.
“Do I look like I’m lying?” she asked, raising her tone a bit.
“I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that…” I say as I look down. “You’re smile is way better.” I continued, looking up with a smirk.
“You fooled me there.” she says as she giggle again.
We continued to talk. Looking at her more carefully now, I’m starting to admire her more. Her long silky black hair wraps around her body. I fight the urge to it. It looks so soft. I bet she’s soft all throughout.
“Wait. Just now, that sounded erted.” I thought to myself as I chuckle.
“What’s funny?” she asked.
“Oh. Uhmm…” Now what Sunny?! I screamed at myself.
“Well?” she’s smiling again, so beautiful.
“I was just admiring your hair. It’s so long, don’t you have difficulties dealing with it?”
“Well I do have some but it’s not like I let them loose all the time. Actually, I tie them up often. It’s just I didn’t feel like tying them up today.”
“I'm lucky to see them down then.” I said, grateful.
Then all of a sudden I feel pain in my head. My heartbeat is pacing. I am losing my balance. I hear a familiar voice call out my name.
“Sunny!”
Then all my senses shut.
Just let go, I’ll catch you.
You take the seat beside me, as usual. Nobody takes it anyway since there’s like an unspoken rule that it’s yours. You pretend to be unaware of her. You sigh unconsciously. I know you’re hurting yet I can’t do anything about it. I nudge you softly to break your attention from her. You look at me smiling. I wish you could always smile and just look at me. You say everything’s alright, that you’re okay. Don’t tell me that. Who do you think I am? You know those lines doesn’t work on me. You know I can see through you yet you still say you’re okay. I think it’s more like you saying it to yourself. I rise from where I was seated as I leave you to convince yourself of what you want others to believe. Just let her go, I’ll catch you.
We were having those once in a blue moon moment where it’s just us, genuinely having fun. “You kno-“ The sound of knocking interrupts us. I walk to the door feeling irritated to this person who just cut me of what I was about to say. Regret fills me as I see the person behind the door. It’s her. I should have asked you to come with me outside earlier when I had the chance. I call you out and tell you it’s her. “Oh. Thank you.” The look on your face tells me that this is not good news. You rise from the couch and approach the door. I thought you had left already when suddenly you call out to me, I didn’t turn to look at you. “I don’t know what time I’ll be back so you can eat first.” You say then you left. I sensed the pain in your voice. I can almost see tears forming in your eyes even if I didn’t look. If this isn’t good news, you could have told me to tell her you’re not here or whatever lame excuse you can come up with. Just let her go, I’ll catch you.
You’re sitting beside me with your head held low. I nudge you asking “what’s wrong?” before smiling. You look at me right in the eyes, I look back. You held your head low again as you mumble words I didn’t catch. You reach for my hand then I knew. I know it’s about her again. What happened this time? You don’t tell me anything about the both of you anymore. Don’t just keep it all to yourself is what I want to tell you but I keep my mouth shut. It’s none of my business. I stare at you as you play with my hands, you’re sulking. If you looked up, you would have seen how much I ache for you. How much I can’t take it to look at you like this. I stand up holding your hand. You look up to me and I just smile back at you. I start to drag you away with me. Just let her go, I’ll catch you.
I yawn lazily. The book I’ve been reading left my vision in a blurry mess. When I read, I read until the end. We used to share this hobby. Now, your hobby is either sulking or pretending. I hear you come into the library giggling. I was taken aback by the sight of you. You are smiling again, genuinely this time with no pretensions yet I was unhappy. You’re with her again. I stand up and walk away. I’m sick of hearing you laugh without me being the reason behind it. You don’t even notice me. When will be the time that you laugh, with me the reason behind it? When will it be my turn to feel your love? Just let her go, I’ll catch you.
I was seated in my seat when you slide into the seat beside me, as always. This is the one thing that I guess doesn’t change and the one thing that makes me happy and unhappy at the same time. You smile at me as you ask why I look so tired. I smiled back telling you I was up reading. You chuckle saying that it is so me. I wanted to tell you that you were like this before. I wanted to tell you that we used to do this together before. I want to tell you so many things but even if I do, nothing’s going to change. You don’t notice how much I’m hurting inside while I notice every little thing about you. How are you going to know? You don’t look at me long enough now for you to notice. You’d never do that now because that would mean forgetting about her. That would mean forgetting about the pain you are feeling. That would mean moving on with your life without her and from what I can see now, that is still too far away. I excuse myself telling you I just need to go to the bathroom. I don’t know when you will move on from her but I hope I’ll be there. I hope I’ll be the one beside you as you move on. Just let her go, I’ll catch you.
I know I have no right to feel this way but it doesn’t mean I don’t.
Hey there! Thank you very much to the subscribers! I apologise for the late update. Thank you again for reading.
HeartSkillz- Thank you for your review. I didn't notice the mistakes at all. Thank you for pointing them out. Please point out the ones in this one as well. The story is confusing and I really made it like that for now.
Koihaku- I am curious to the film you are talking about. Can you tell me what it is? And I'm happy that you're curious.
To all my readers, I left this one really confusing again. I want to know what are your thoughts about it and what are you curious about so please leave a comment. I am planning to clear things up in the next chapter.
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