(Kim Youngdeok's POV)

 

“I love you.”

 

It was the sentence that I would never say. The only girl that I loved, she would never notice me, or even knew who I was. I could only say her from afar, looking at her smile in amazed. She had the beauty that only heaven could make. Never for once, I thought to know her more than I did right now. I didn’t have a brave to do it. I knew who I really was. I would never get together with her.

 

“You’re beautiful. Please, don’t stop smiling.”

 

I said those words in my mind because I adored her. In my eyes, she really pictured a figure of goddess. I always smiled by myself whenever I saw her smile. The thing that I thought I would never get bored was her smile.

 

“I miss you. I want to see you.”

 

It had been three days I didn’t saw her. I missed her so much. I could not stop my head from thinking of her. Staying in this hospital room a bit longer could make me crazy. I could not fall asleep because of it.

 

“I have to meet her.”

 

I assured myself to go and meet her. I could not be patient anymore. My own feeling made me more suffer if I didn’t tell her what I really wanted to say. I had to say it when my time was still ticking. I didn’t care if she would reject me.

I got down from my bed and walked to the drawer to get my clothes. After finished dressing up, I pushed my door open and looked around me to see if someone was there. Fortunately, there was no one there. I knew what I was doing now was breaking the rule. But, who could blame me or blame love. I closed the door as I slowly walked away, leaving my hospital room.

 

♣♣♣

 

This night was so cold when I was walking down the sidewalk. I was chilling because of it. But, I forced myself to be strong. I felt like it was a miracle that I could go this far on foot. Thinking of her really made me strong. Now, I had to meet her. She was the only one I loved. Looking in front of me, there were a lot of people who filled the hall. They wanted to see the musical with Seohyun as the main actress.

She was her, Seohyun. She was the girl that I meant. I was her big fan boy who really fell in love with her. I wanted to get in there and see her acting. I wanted to give my applause for her. But, I had no money to buy the ticket. You knew why. As an escaping patient, I could not get some money.

I walked closer to the hall, staring at the giant poster of her. “She’s so beautiful.” I said. Seeing her face was enough to make me feel better. This time was my only chance to meet her. So, I decided to wait in front of the building till she finished her musical. Feeling the cold, I wore my hood and shoved my hands into my pants pockets.

It had been one hour I had waited for her. But, the musical wasn’t over yet. Then, I sat on the long wooden chair when my body was not feeling well. This was not good. I felt the sick again.

“No. I have to hold on…”

I told myself, but my body didn’t want to hear me. My head was getting sick. I could not feel my body again as everything became so silent in my ears. Then, I out.

 

♣♣♣

 

I could hear someone calling me as I cracked my eyes open. My head was still dizzy, but I had to wake up.

“Youngdeok?” The girl beside me called.

I turned my head to see her. When I saw her face, I thought I was dreaming. She was my goddess. “S-Seohyun?” I called her.

“What are you doing outside there? Why don’t you just come in? Are you alright?” She asked.

I could see that she was worrying me. I was glad to know it. “I’m alright.” I told her.

Looking around me, I found myself lying on the couch in a room which looked like a waiting room. Then, I saw some staffs, musical actors and actresses were gathering around me. They all looked at me. I felt like I was the center of attention.

“I’m sorry if I have made you all worry about me. Now, I’m fine.” I said, sitting up on the couch.

“Okay… Just rest here till you get better. We’ll leave you to finish the musical.” One of the men told me. I thought he was the director here.

I just nodded at him and looked at Seohyun again. “Just go, Seohyun... Finish your musical. I’m alright. I’ll wait here.”

She just nodded at me and handed me a glass of water.

Taking the water, I said, “Uhm... Seohyun?”

“…??”

“How did you know my name?”

She smiled as she got from the chair. “Aren’t we studying in the same class and university? So, there was no reason that I don’t know you, right?” She asked.

“Yeah… You’re right.”I said. I never thought that she would notice me.

She then smiled, “Will you wait for me? I want to take you walking around here after the show.”

I nodded at her, agreeing her idea.

“Thank you.” She said before walked away, leaving me alone. I lied again on the couch, wishing that it was not a dream.

 

♣♣♣

 

It was three hours before the midnight when Seohyun and I were sitting on the bench of the park. I looked at the sky in awe to see the full moon. It was so beautiful like the girl beside me. She was staring at the moon too.

 

“When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change. Cuz’ you’re amazing, just the way you are... and when you smile, my whole world stops and stares for a while. Cuz’ girl you’re amazing,  just the way you are…”

 

I sang it unconsciously as she stared at me without blinking her eyes. “Uhm…  S-Sorry… It’s because you’re beautiful.”

“Yongdeok…” Seohyun called.

“Yes??”

“What a beautiful voice. I’m serious. You have a very good voice.”

“Ah… It’s not that good.” I felt myself blushing when she praised me.

“I said the truth.” She then glanced at her watch, “It’s getting late. You’re not in a healthy condition too. So, it’s time for you to go home.”

“Don’t treat me like a little boy.” I said.

She chuckled and said, “But, you really need to take a rest. You look pale. I’ve called the taxi for you.”

“What?”

Seohyun then stood in front of me. “Come on, I’m sure the taxi has arrived here.” She took my hand and got me up from the bench. She led me to the taxi.

I was thinking now if she knew that I didn’t bring my wallet with me. Why did she care to me like we had known well in a long time? I didn’t know. I only thought that she was so kind.

Suddenly, I stopped walking and called her when I remembered about what I wanted to say. “Seohyun?”

She turned around and looked at me. “Yes…??”

“Promise me that you won’t be mad if I say this to you.”

“Sure. I promise. Just say it.”

I blew a deep breath, preparing myself. “I… I… I love you.” I finally say it. I did it.

She was silent for a moment before gave me a quick kiss on my lips. “I’m sorry. It’s what I can do for you. Thank you for loving me. I hope we’ll be forever friends.”

I felt so sad to know that we could only be friends. But, I felt so happy too to get her kiss. I could not control my heartbeat. It was like a racing. “Y-yeah… It’s okay. I have guessed your answer. Thank you, Seohyun…”

I pulled the taxi door open and got in the car. I waved my hand as I saw her from the taxi window that slowly took me away. Did you know? The shawl around her neck was my present for her birthday last month. Now, she wore it for me. It was the sign that she liked it and I was glad for it. The smile still curved on my lips after what she did to me. That kiss, I still felt it on my lips. Although, she had rejected my love, but this night was best gift I ever had. I would never forget or regret it. It was my first kiss and my first love that could not be a happy ending. I had guessed it from the beginning.

 

♣♣♣

 

It had been a week since my last encounter with Seohyun. She gave me the special spirit to recover. I didn't know how long it would last or how long I could hold the pain of my illness, but the most important was I would do the best to keep alive. Just liked she said.

 

"Don't ever give up."

 

I knew it. The god was the one who decided everything. But, as human, having an effort was a must.

Today was the day I discharged from the hospital. The doctor said I was getting better day by day. It was a good news. I could finally go home now. I could not wait to see my goddess again on the screen and send her a letter.

 

2 Years Later

(Seohyun’s POV)

 

I had nothing to do today. So, I just stayed in my bedroom with my laptop in front of me. I got some letter from my dearest fan. He was one of the fans who could really catch my attention. I was rereading his letters that he sent to me via email. Since I moved to another university, I could not meet or see him again. That’s why he told me many things by his letters. Sometimes, I smiled whenever he told me even the little things. It’s like…

 

“Seohyun, I got a puppy. I want to give him a name. Do you have any suggestion?”

 

“I got a bad score. It’s C+. Seohyun, what should I do?”

 

“I helped a woman today. She said that I was so handsome. Did she tell the truth? Am I handsome, Seohyun?”

 

Yes. I had to admit that he was a handsome boy. But, he never knew about it.

 

It had been five months I lost contact with him. He stopped sending me letter that made me missing him. Sometimes, I felt the regret when I remembered about how he confessed his love and I rejected it. He was a kind person and a unique one. I just could not describe his character in words. As the time passed by, he became so special for me, my special friend. Deep in my heart, I hoped that we could be more than it someday.

 

“Honestly, I want to tell you everything... about my secret. But, I’m afraid I can’t do it. I don’t know why I feel afraid of the death these days. Seohyun…. Would you forgive me if I have a mistake?”

 

The last letter he sent to me five months ago. Why did he say those words? I asked him many times about it, but he never replied my letter. He ever told me that he was sick, but he never told me about the name of his illness. I had to meet him. I wanted to find the answer. Tomorrow was a weekend. It’s my chance to go back to the town where he lived.

 

♣♣♣

 

After asking some people there, I finally found his house. No one knew that I went to this place, even my parents. I knocked at the door. Then, a woman pulled the door open, smiling to me before let me in. She was his mother I thought. I looked inside the house and found a cute dog that was playing with the ball. It was his dog, Kiroro.

 

“I want to see, Youngdeok. Is he at home?” I asked her when Youngdeok’s mother let me in and I sat in the living room.

 

Youngdeok’s mother formed a sad look after I asked the question. A sad smile was curved on her lips. I had a bad feeling because of it.

 

She stared at my face before said, “Beautiful girl, you must be Seohyun. Youngdeok adored you so much. But…” She paused for a moment, tears rolled down her face. “He’s gone. He had gone back to the God’s place one month ago, one day before his graduation.” She continued.

 

Hearing her words, I felt the sudden pain in my heart, feeling the sadness. I could not believe this. He had left me. He left me for the rest of my life without saying goodbye. I missed him and I wanted to see him here. But, this was what I got. Looking down, my tears dropped on my hands that I put it on my knees.

 

I he told me from the start, I would have done my best to make him happy when he still had the time. Now, I could never see him again. I lost my best friend, my fan that I really loved.

 

♣♣♣

 

On my way home, I sat on the seat of the bus and kept staring at the note in my hand. It was his note that his mother gave me. She said that it contained a short story that he wrote by himself. Yes. It was his hand writing in this note. I had read it a half. But, it was still unfinished stories. He wanted to show me this when he had a chance, but the fate said the different. He had no chance for it. His mother asked me to finish it.

 

I remembered that I challenged him to write a story because I loved to write. But, I never thought he really did it for me. He said that he could not write.

Now, I didn’t know what I would do to end his story. Would it be a happy ending? Or would it be a sad ending like I was feeling now?

 

I didn’t know.

 

I had no clue.

 

I could not think. My mind was still blank.

 

Hugging the note on my chest, I closed my eyes as I could not stop my own tears. I kept repeating the words...

 

 

“Only you… There is only you in my heart right now.”

 

 

The End

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A/N: I'm sorry if I can't write in English well. English is not my native language. Thanks for reading.