"All this time, I have learnt to suffer my pain in silence"

luhan writes beautiful things. unlike his lips who speaks plain language, he writes beautifully.

of unchained stars.
of skies with evanescent clouds.
of darkened days.

and this summer, luhan writes about her.
a beautiful person with fragile existence; a withering flower with iridescent shades.

[red]

yoona is approached by summer with lonely eyes and ruled lips. but it has always been like that. that plain life of hers, with grey scratched upon it.

there was a girl. she was surrounded with many beautiful colours life had. but all she saw was grey.

if luhan is someoone who writes beautiful things in colorful shades, yoona is another different story. yoona writes and paints morose. she use dark colours as her shades and  sadness as her inklings. therefore, she only writes when she is sad. but she is sad all the time. luhan finds it amusing how someone can have one concrete emotion. but her sadness itself doesn't amuse him. he can't be amused by something that breaks people from the inside.

she wrote beautiful things from time to time. but with tears as her ink and her heart as the content. she was the story she herself wrote.

yoona walks to the campus at seven in the morning and comes hour at five. yoona is a lone flower with few acquaintances. luhan is one of the closest ones.but she always keep her distance with people. when you have nothing to keep, you will  have nothing to lose. yoona had learnt the lesson life gave her long, long time ago.

she was scarred long time ago and was left with a wound she couldn't heal herself. therefore she has nothing to lose now, for she had chosen to have nothing to keep.

"i have been taking a liking on you for a long time, will you be my girlfriend"

shreds of papers scatter in the air and yoona had brutally tore the envelope and tossed it in the air. she looks down in deep breaths and suffocating throat. she just broke somebody's heart even though she knew by doing that it won't fix hers.
she looks up and tears brim in her eyes.
"you didn't even know my name"

i was there when she wept. she was given the love that reopened the scars of the past. she suffered for the love that he chose to give to her beautiful face.

since that incident, it was hard for luhan to approach her. luhan wants to calm her sense and to bring her back.

she didn't knew that by breaking his heart, she was also breaking mine.

yoona writes sad things everyday. luhan is worried. yoona doesn't stop and won't stop.

"yoona I know he had hurt you by his confession, but recover! if you don't love him, you will just have to say no and if you are sad about other things, please tell me because i don't want you to be sad all the time" luhan is separated from yoona with this wooden door but he screamed for her because he is afraid that they belong to two different worlds that will never meet.

but yoona opens that world for him to enter and the first thing that comes to his view is her smile. that smile.

but that smile reflects sadness, not the happiness i learnt on the first time our gaze met.

"i was sad because he loved me when he doesn't know me. his foreign eyes said it all. i'm sorry luhan, but this sadness of mine is for me alone to keep"

yoona hugs me to calm my sadness down, but for me, she is taking the pain away and contains it in her heart.

she was as warm as the summer's heat, but that day i wept for the door of her heart will never be opened again.

now, what luhan has to do is to keep her safe. sadness leads to depression and the last thing luhan wants to see is to see her legs dangle on one of those skyscrapers with her figure flying down from it.

i was afraid that she would be a goner, because she loved heights and places she could jump from.

yoona loves gravity when luhan hates it. they were in this tall building and she said she often hangs out around here. yoona sits on the edge and luhan told her to stop because she will fall. she only laughs it off and pats the seat beside her. it is the first time for luhan to see her laugh in such a free manner. so he seats beside her and they enjoy the wind that blows their sadness away.

her laughter were like tinkling bells and i let her be. for she finally exudes happiness.

sunset approached the two lads and yoona said that they have to keep their eyes on the sun before it disappears. but instead luhan keeps his eyes on yoona, for he doesn't want to see her vanish as the sun sets.

her eyes were like a pair of beautiful moons shining upon me. she was staring and pointing at the sun. but i was looking at her hand. lining the horizon with reds painted along her fingertips.

then suddenly, yoona said that she loves him. she said that she loves the way he writes beautiful things, the way he is being himself. she had said it in the most beautiful sense that his happiness can't be contained.

she loved me in the summer our gaze first met.
she loved me on rainy days when she was sad.
she loved me when i was happy.

she falls.

she didn't gazed at me when she fell. she was drawing her blood to my cheek, and i was broken again. but there is no her to hug me, to take my sadness away.

luhan thinks that the moment she falls, there should be red petals of rose raining above her, accompanying her death. because she is as scorching as the sun, and as red as the colour of rose.

and because, red is the colour of a hero.

and in the end, she hurt me without the intention of being to. a rose she was, and there is no way of coming out in a whole if you  want to touch her. and even though she scarred me with her thorns, she is still the hero who saved me on the summer when our gaze first met.

[scorching-red - fertig]