Hongbin remembers everything.

He remembers everything, and he hates it.

He hates how he remembers exactly what Taekwoon looks like when he smile, strong features curling up and turning into a mush of high cheeks and tiny slits that are supposed to be his eyes, and most of all he hates that he remembers every slight bump in the olders skin as a tear makes its way down his cheek, a tear that was hidden in the training room late at night and that Hongbin wasn’t supposed to see.

Remembering everything about Taekwoon is hell, because every time N throws his arm around the brunette and he flinches, Hongbin wants to rip the leaders arm off because he remembers that little comment Leo made once all too many years ago about N’s perfume burning his eyes. It also because when Leo sings off key, which almost never happens but still does when practice has been running late and the lion hasn’t gotten his honey tea for long because he’s on a diet, Hongbin always want to hug the older because he remembers that his worst fear is to lose his voice and have to leave VIXX.

But Hongbin still remembers, and he keeps hating that he does. Life goes on like that, and Hongbin hopes that maybe one day he’ll remember enough about Taekwoon to understand that tear, or to get why his thighs are filled with scars.

WARNING:
THIS STORY MIGHT CONTAIN LATER ON, AND THERE ARE MENTIONS OF SELF HARM. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!