Toned, lithe…

                Sulli swiftly made her way through the crowd in the hallways. She was occasionally forced to slow down to a slow trudge whenever another group of friends decided it was okay to form a line in a busy hallway. She dumped her backpack onto the ground in front of her locker, waiting with the false pretense of fiddling with her phone after she had gathered her materials.

                She saw the pattern of their movement first. A leader and a follower carving out the path she would have made, shifts of people edging slightly this way and that way. Steady, muted power, it passed by one before a person could register that someone other than the three people that had been around him or her for the past ten meters had changed.

                Krystal and Kai came up to Sulli, laughing and chatting to each other. The couple’s hands comfortably touched the other, light pats to emphasize a statement or quick pokes to the cheek. They gave each other short, little glances, eyes bright and adoring, cheeks flushed.

                “Hey, Sulli!” Krystal said. She hugged Sulli lightly, hands a little awkward with the two backpacks in the way. “Are you ready?”

                Sulli nodded. “Yea. Where are we going?”

                “Okay! We just have to go to the gym to drop off Kaikai’s stuff.” The male ducked his head in embarrassment at Krystal’s endearment.

                “Krystal! Quit using that name!”

                “No!”

                “Quit it.”

                “Make me.”

                “I’ll call you Kris if you continue.”

                Sulli rolled her eyes at the two that were standing off to each other. “Okay, children, please break it up. Spare me from your juvenile bickering, please. And Krystal, you should know better. Fighting is not endorsed by the school.”

                “Says the girl who trains to fight twelve hours a week.”

                “Yea!” Kai exclaimed. “Also, isn’t it kind of nasty if we’re both children and related?”

                “Woah,” Sulli quickly cut in. “Let’s not go there, Kai. Nasty thoughts, Kai, nasty thoughts.”

                “Well, you brought it up,” Krystal sniffed with a pretentious air. Nose in the air, she managed to maintain the pose for five seconds before dissolving into fits of laughter.

                Sulli lowered a playful glare at Krystal as Kai started to chuckle, choking it back as Sulli moved her gaze slightly to the side towards him. “Kai,” Sulli said. “Didn’t you need to go to the gym?”

                “Oh yea!” Krystal exclaimed. “We do need to go to the gym for you!”

                Sulli smirked when Krystal hastily moved away from both their little spot by her locker and a potentially awkward situation. Krystal led the way, edging through the crowd and creating a little string of trails for them to follow alone.  She usually led well, but Sulli almost laughed today from seeing Krystal smack straight into an incoming freshman. She almost laughed, because Kai beat her to laughing at Krystal and mussing her hair. Sulli stiffened from that, remembering a time when that had been herself next to Krystal, giggling when Krystal complained of the height advantage Sulli held.

                Now, though, Kai ruffled Krystal’s hair lightly, his fingers petting the silky strands fondly. Sulli rolled her eyes at them from the side. To her chagrin, almost none of the people around them were looking at the couple with annoyance or disgust for the cuddling. “Traitors.”

--

                Elegant, poised…

                They were all at her house, Krystal, Kai, and herself. Krystal was laying on the couch. She hadn’t moved since she had draped herself onto it face first, dumping her backpack on the ground next to her. Kai slouched on the floor, his back against the couch. He flipped through the channels on the sleek television, switching them between Krystal’s preferred choices. Kai had taken a photo of Krystal minutes after she had flopped down. He had uploaded it to his social media page, tagging it with something along the lines of “is done with life”, “too cute”, “gf”.

                Sulli knew that the new photo of Krystal joined dozens of others that followed a similar vein, some public, others not. Her hand clenched around the glass of orange juice she held. She herself possessed hundreds of photos of such photos as well, only hers were separated into concise files. Krystal when sleeping, Krystal as a child, Krystal caught in action, Krystal laughing, Krystal smiling…

                “Kai, do you want something to drink?” Sulli raised an empty glass to him, shaking it a bit.

                “Sure.”

                What do you want?”

                “The usual. Get one for Krystal, too. This little cutie,” Kai poked Krystal’s cheek, “will definitely be thirsty later.” Krystal attempted to swat his hand away. A small sound of confusion escaped her as she hit nothing. Kai chuckled at her weak attempt. “Krystal,” he cooed. Sulli clenched her fist as he leaned in. “You need to try harder, baby.” Kai poked Krystal’s cheek again.

                Sulli could feel her nails digging into her palm, could imagine the little beads from the manicure she had gotten on her own, without Krystal, imprinting themselves temporarily into her flesh. Maybe, she wondered with a shiver of fear, maybe if she pressed hard enough, the marks would be there permanently. Then, every time she looked at her hand she would see the marks of two little beads and four crescent shapes, constantly reminding her of the friend and love she had lost to another. Constantly reminding her that the love was never hers to begin with.

                Sulli knew that Kai had more pictures in his collection. He had intimate pictures, far more intimate than any pictures Sulli could ever take. The knowledge was a dull, constant ache within her, reminding Sulli of its presence each time the shutter sounded its little snap. She wanted to take those pictures, to see the beauty that would be Krystal falling apart into a peaceful bliss. Sulli wanted to witness the vast number of emotions Krystal possessed and capture them all; however, the one emotion she so dreamed to see and immortalize was desire. And Kai had a picture.

                Sulli would never have a picture.

--

                “Are you feeling queasy yet?” Sulli leaned back in the hard chair, her face impassive. In another tone, the words could have been concerned. In her tone, they were callous, disarming rather than comforting.

                “Pardon?” The investigator jumped at her words.

                “Are you feeling queasy yet, Mr. Wu? Because the last one that came in here ran outside at around this point in the story and never came back. She looked like she wanted to throw up.” Mr. Wu could do nothing but sit there and stare and listen to her speak. Her voice never changed.

                “Well,” he finally said. “She doesn’t understand you like I do.”

                “Is that so?”

                “Yes.”

                Sulli leaned her elbows onto the sterile table between them, letting the silence stretch after his answer. “And why is that?”

                “I’m afraid I can’t answer that.”

Sulli chuckled dryly and sat back against her chair, hands folded in her lap. “So, I am to tell you everything? Since you claim that you can understand me even when you can’t tell me why?”

                “That’s the general idea.”

                “Really?” The word was really more of a statement than a question.

                “Yes. You need to tell me everything, need to let yourself be defenseless, so I can protect you.”

                Sulli stared into the eyes of the man across from her for almost a minute, eyes searching. She wasn’t quite sure of what she was searching for herself, but it was addicting to drown herself in the depths of his eyes. The glassy surface reflected the harsh lights of the room, forming intricate patterns that hid. Past the confusion, however, held what Sulli would almost call an innate kindness. “You want to protect me? Don’t you already know that I’ll probably be a criminal?”

                “Yes.”

                Once more, the silence fell upon the room. The only sound was the humming of the lights above them. “Maybe,” Sulli finally said, “you really do know me.” Mr. Wu did not answer her; he simply waited for her to continue with her thought. “I shall continue, then.”

--

Calm, Understanding…

                “Here,” Kai murmured. “I’ll take this for you.” He took two glasses, walking over to the couch as Krystal pulled herself back into the current world.

                “Kai,” Krystal mumbled sleepily. “Is that mine?”

                “Yep! I poured it for you!”

                From behind the counter, Sulli hissed under her breath as she gripped the knife in her hand. Sulli was supposed to be happy because she, Sulli, her most wonderful best friend since birth, had given her juice. That would never happen, though, would it?

                “Krystal!” Sulli called. “Do you want a mango?”

                “Nah, I’m fine. Orange juice,” Krystal said, slinging an arm around Kai, “is perfect. Thanks Kai!”

                “Oh. Okay.” Sulli went to cut the mango anyways, more out of spite than anything else.

                Would Krystal have accepted it if it was Kai who had offered? Sulli drowned in her bitter thoughts. Why couldn’t she elicit the same reaction from Krystal as Kai? She was the one that Krystal should love the most! She had been there all this time. It had always been “Krystal and Sulli” and that should have continued on to mean something more than just their names, but now “Krystal and Kai” was squealed by all their other friends.

                Krystal

                Kai

                The names tumbled through her head, jumbling around each other and forming words of their own. Krystal and Kai. Kai and Krystal. Krystal of Kai. Kai of Krystal. Krystal’s Kai. They were progressively tinted harsher, letters turned stark and red against black and white.

                Krystal leaned her head against Kai’s shoulder. Sulli’s hand shook, knife shaking along with it. Krystal sipped a little of the orange juice that Sulli had poured, not Kai. Sulli took a shaky step forward, her grip on the knife shifting slightly.

                She saw them lean into each other and Sulli took another step. Too long, she thought. This had gone on for too long. Sulli faced Krystal. Kai’s eyes were directed towards Krystal’s cheek that he had been poking oh so cutely. Sulli felt the edges of her vision close in, focusing solely on two things. Was this what tunnel vision was?

                It was as if Sulli was not there, as if the person Krystal was looking at in confusion was not herself, because why would Krystal look at her in fear? Why would she stand mouth agape and eyes wide, her eyes watering in trepidation? Sulli smiled as she gave a reassuring smile to Krystal, because everything would be okay. Soon, oh so soon, everything that Sulli could not have would no longer laugh to her face, would not take credit away from her, would not take away what she deserved.

                Sulli felt the resistance, the stiffening of muscles from shock and surprise. Perhaps a cry was heard. Dimly, Sulli heard two screams; one of them sounded suspiciously like hers. Half of the destroyed beauty gasped and clung to its destroyed half, desperately trying to curb the blood staining the couch, the carpet, the pillows—everything.

                Why was Krystal sobbing? Was she not happy with the roses blooming on the snow of her blouse? Sulli grinned manically to Krystal. Finally, finally she would be able to once again see Krystal constantly. What had been beautiful was now nothing.

                Truly, Sulli thought, beauty was really skin deep. If one plunged harm deeper than skin, the beauty would always be destroyed and obliterated.

--

                “Can you still understand me?” Sulli asked. Mr. Wu opened his mouth and then closed it, unsure of what to say. What was one supposed to say? “Krystal,” Sulli continued. “Krystal doesn’t understand me, I think. She won’t talk to me anymore.”

                “I wouldn’t either.”

                Sulli hissed in a breath, her face stricken. “But I did it out of love.”

                “Do you think she thinks that?”

                She choked a little, tears swimming in her eyes. Why did he force this upon her? “No,” she rasped out.

                “Then why do it?”

                “You…you don’t have to tell me!” Sulli shrieked out the last few words, tears streaking her face.

                “Tell you what?” Mr. Wu remained the picture of calmness.

                Sulli continued to sob; her breaths heaving, her eyes reddening, her voice hitching. The room kept up its calm demeanor; its cold, blank walls had no care for the girl falling apart in front of it. It hadn’t cared for the others, why should it care for her?

                “I,” she gasped out. “I know that I’m evil, okay? But don’t you understand? I couldn’t live on any longer like that! I couldn’t continue to see Krystal being so pretty and perfect when it wasn’t with me!”

                “You’re evil?”

                “Yes!” She raised her face to him, her eyes filled with guilt and grief. “I am evil.”

                “Evil can be redeemed.”

                Sulli dropped her eyes again. “I’m not strong enough to do that.”

                “Of course you’re strong enough.”

                “No, I’m not,” she said. “Everyone will think worse of me and I’ll see their judgemental eyes and they’ll know—”

                “You are strong enough to do this for Krystal,” Mr. Wu interrupted. Sulli stared at him in confusion. What did he mean? Why would she do this for Krystal? She had already done the opposite. Mr. Wu continued. “You feel evil, right?” Sulli nodded. “Well,” he said. “Can’t you gather enough strength to finish this for the Krystal you will never have?”

                “The strength to finish this?”

                “Yes.”

                “But I will never have Krystal!” she cried.

                “No, you will not.”

                “Then why?”

                “Don’t you love her,” Mr. Wu asked.

                Sulli sighed in defeat. “For Krystal, then.”

--

   Passionate, caring...

                Sulli took one look at Krystal’s pale, sunken face from the window before turning back towards her interrogation room. “I can’t do this,” she said to Mr. Wu.

                “You can. For Krystal, remember?”

                Sulli took another deep breath, taking several seconds to mentally prepare herself before opening the door towards the purpose of everything. Whether Krystal accepted it as such was another matter entirely. At first, Krystal didn’t react, not until Sulli had walked a couple steps to stand in front of her.

                “Krystal,” Sulli said finally. “Hello.” Sulli saw the look of utter disgust and horror in Krystal’s face before she quickly masked it with polite blankness. It was disgust for Sulli.

                “Hello, Sulli.” Krystal was looking at her in a fairly neutral manner, but Sulli could see the tightening at the corners of , her slightly pursed lips, her eyebrows that were slanted a few degrees towards fury. “Please don’t say my name.”

“Okay.” Sulli glanced towards the door where Mr. Wu stood in one last desperate attempt to flee from the situation. His impassive face offered her no solace.

                She gathered her thoughts again. She could feel the hatred rolling off from the one she loved. There was no way she was strong enough for this. Krystal hated her. She hated herself. Sulli was weak. All of a sudden, as if another Sulli was present, Sulli heard what sounded like her voice say to Krystal, “I wanted to tell you that I will be pleading guilty.”

                Sulli stared, fascinated, as she looked at Krystal’s expression. It was almost as if she was looking into a monster’s eyes; one that was bent on revenge. “Good.”

                The revenge, Sulli realized, was for her.

                At least her part was done.