“Jessica look!” begged an eager but quiet voice.

           A small boy was grinning brightly not watching the girl he had called out to but instead intensely observing a bush. Quickly the aforementioned girl, who had been busy trying to catch wild rabbits, trotted over to his side.

           She crouched down close to him the tall grass brushing against her chest as she tried to see what had her friend so enraptured.

           Fidgeting after a moment of being unable to find what was so clearly interesting she whined, “What are you looking at Donghae? I can't see it!”

           In response she got an impatient sigh and a hand intertwined with her own. Donghae's hand pointed her own to a barely visible cocoon that blended in almost entirely within the green foliage. Her hand dropped, but never let go of his own, as her attention was drawn in by the small cocoon brown eyes widening in utter fascination. Normally a cocoon is an interesting subject within itself, even to two young children, but what made this one special was that a winged insect was emerging from it.

           Slowly wings the color of the sea and a tiny bug body broke free of its self made cocoon. Together the two children watched avidly as the insect began its new life as a butterfly. Wonder-struck eyes didn't blink as those large gossamer like wings beat together a few times before going still.

           To Jessica it seemed that the butterfly was watching them as curiously as they watched it and that notion was enough to stretch the smile on her face wider. Donghae rocked back on his heels as the insects wings beat once more only this time it wasn't merely a mimicry of flying but the actual thing.

           Small hands that were still intertwined clasped each other tighter as they watched the newborn butterfly flutter away to the skies.

           The eerie sound of an echoing scream startled Jessica awake from her dream. Sitting up violently she bit back a startled yelp. Waking up is a hard enough thing in itself without the startling feeling of being taken from a peaceful memory and being thrown into a war zone.

           Jessica's steady hand brushed back wisps of hair that had fallen into her face eyes gazing impassively upon what had caused her to return to the world of the restless.

           A barricade of human bodies surrounded the house, if the extravagant near mansion could be called a house. Some held signs, some held weapons, but they all opposed the same force; the police. The ones who were battling the sea of people trying to get past them to their real objective.

           More screams were let loose, battle cries drowned out by the excess noise, it was mayhem.

           Jessica watched the riot taking place on the television neither showing any distaste or glee at the images. Distantly she could hear the actual noises of people and police officers standing off against one another. A mini war taking place on her front door step. All because everyone had differing opinions on what is right, what is wrong, and what matters, if anything, regardless.

           Dark chocolate brown hair flowed down stiff shoulders as she stood from her couch muting the tv. Why bother watching something on a screen when she was living it?

           The noise of people yelling, fighting, giving into the chaos, still faintly was heard as she stood calm as a statue. If Jessica had been more of a romantic she would be watching the riot from a window, standing tall above it all and maybe even relishing in it. Only she didn't feel much like relishing now. Drawing a hot bath and falling back asleep into a perfect dream world only to never wake up sounded preferable. But she wasn't so dramatic as to allow that f herself either.

           No, Jessica was a realist. And she understood that some actions done had to be followed through until the very end.

           A wry smile decorated Jessica's face as she wondered what he would think if she were to be so theatrical. Maybe not much, maybe too much. It was hard to say. Briefly she wondered what he would think that her last dream ever to be had was of him. But somehow she felt even if he knew it just wouldn't matter. Not really.

           Pressing her surprisingly cool hands against her face she wondered what her next step was. Stay here in the security of the manor? Far away from the police, reporters, or god forbid her fans. Would it even matter in anyway to hole up and wait for the forced entry as countless people got hurt only to end up in her inevitable arrest.

           No matter what Jessica did it would end up in, death, arrest, and heartbreak.

           Somehow that made her want a cigarette.

           Too bad she had quit earlier this week, and damned if a bit of mayhem and possible demise would make her revert back to those delicious death sticks. Settling for pacing the room rather than falling back on old habits Jessica continued the pondering what to do next. A wasted train of thought as her fate became decided when the door opened.

           The house, or mini mansion if you will, had already been evacuated way before the police had descended upon the structure. All the doors were locked and none of the not so peaceful protesters, if you could call what was happening a protest as it had first started out to be, would be able to get in even if they tried. And since the door hadn't been flung open with dozens of agents pouring in that only left one person, one option, and a death sentence.

           Jessica's voice was quiet but rough, it had been hours since she'd last spoken, yet it seemed loud in the silence that had only occasionally been broken by a muffled yell. “Hello Donghae, interesting day yeah?”

           Perhaps that was the lamest thing to say in the history of reuniting with someone after years of separation but given the circumstances she felt it was okay. Maybe it was her dream from earlier that made her feel so calm.

           From where she was standing she could almost see him in her peripherals but she refused to give into that temptation. But god it was harder to not move her head than it had been to not smoke all week. Swallowing the sudden lump in Jessica wondered what his response would be if anything. Would it be a gun, handcuffs, or silence? He had a right to every one of those possible reactions, and she would never begrudge him for just shooting her. It would be a lie to say that she might just deserve it.

           Of all of the possibilities Jessica was surprised to hear him actually answer her, with real words that weren't accusations or filled with anger.

           “That is one way to put it.”

           That almost made her want to laugh. Almost.

           Five heart beats of silence, she really wished it was poetic as that. More like a minute of tense silence between two people who knew no matter what was said the ending had already been written. Technically Donghae was the first to make a noise. He took precisely three steps forward from the door. Those footsteps that quietly echoed throughout the room somehow emphasized the excruciating distance between them that would never be fixed.

           It hadn't always been like this. Once they had been inseparable, each a half to a whole. Even now she could remember the days when they were careless children playing about like there was no tomorrow. Hell she dreamed about it almost every night. Dreams of days infinitely better than what her life had become.

           “It's been a while hasn't it dear? Years even. Did you miss me?” Still not allowing herself to move or glaze upon his face she smiled in a sad sort of way.

           Even if he said yes the chances were no, he hadn't. Not even all with all the history between them could she blame him for not missing her like she had him. The last time they had met it had ended badly. Given the silence it was easy for Jessica to slip into the memory of their last encounter.

           Donghae's visit had been expected for sometime. Ever since he'd been assigned to the task force intent on catching 'The Good Samaritan Killer', as the media had dubbed it, Jessica had known he would be the one to connect the dots. It would be a lie to say that she wasn't relieved he hadn't brought a swat team with him.

           “So have you figured it out then Inspector Donghae?” she asked softly taking in his expression that was a curious mix of betrayed, disbelieving, and disappointment.

           He stepped forward stopping just a few inches away. “Am I to take that as a confession?”

           Stress seemed to have made his voice a bit deeper, a bit rougher, and while normally that would make her spine tingle in all sorts of delightful ways; but today it made her shiver in a decidedly not delightful way.

           Looking away from him she laughed dryly, “I have nothing to confess.”

           Fingers that she knew so well gripped her chin tilting her face to his.

           “Really does murder not count anymore?”

           That made her sigh. Pressing her hand against his cheek Jessica wondered for a moment why he was here at all instead of looking for the evidence to convict her. Weren't true heros not supposed to care about who did the wrong so long as they were punished? Not even if it was the person closest to their heart?

           “I haven't committed murder or anything of that nature,” Jessica replied watching the way his face contorted in frustration at her words.

           Donghae let go of her chin in favor of pacing. Halfway into his second lap of the room he paused and tugged at his hair desperately.

           Dragging his hands over his face in an exasperated way he pleaded, “Why, why can't you just be honest with me? How long have we known each other? And of all the unspeakable acts you could commit why become a-”

           “Serial killer?” Abruptly interrupting him Jessica was tired of the accusations already.

           “-murderer,” he said weakly.

           “I already said I'm not a murder,” she sighed.

           In response he growled, no yelled, “And that is somehow different from being a god damn serial killer?!”

           Briefly shrinking back from his aggressive volume she waited to answer until his breathing calmed down. Getting into a screaming match would serve no purpose and would only make it that much harder.

           “It is different. Murder implies that those people were worthy of anything besides having their existence exterminated.”

           He was taken aback by the detached way she spoke of killing people. It was obvious to Jessica that despite the sudden paleness of his face from her words that the cop part of his brain was extracting every word for a way to convict her. That kinda made her want to cry.

           She wasn't entirely sure what he would do next, maybe bring her in for questioning. But him barking out a strained manic sort of laughter wasn't a reaction she could have guessed.

           “You're crazy Jess, you are ing crazy! Acting as though you have the right to judge the sins of others,” Donghae wheezed out in between the laughter, and a few tears, that didn't sound one bit sane at all.

           Funny how he, the one having a meltdown, was accusing her of being crazy. Perhaps they were both equally insane, she mused although within her soul Jessica acknowledge that he could never be as unhinged as she truly was. Waiting for his bout of laughter to subside before speaking she walked up to him with a well practiced poker face. “What do you want me to say Donghae? That I'm sorry, that I didn't mean to dispose of 13 worthless men and woman? The act of killing my fellow humankind may be unforgivable but I can accept the consequences of my actions because if what I did was bad what they did while alive was beyond horrific. I have a right to act as the judge and executioner when it comes to scumbags like them.

           Did you know that Mr. Kim liked to make his daughter and son preform acts that no one should have to do and video taped it? Or that Soo-yi liked to tie her sick husband up and beat him? No one else was stopping them so I took the liberty upon myself!” she cried out not seeking his understanding her reasoning merely for him to know why.

           Because Jessica wasn't crazy she was saving people, protecting them when no one else had intervened.

           Not that he seemed to get that if the way he shook his head and walked away without another word was any indication. She let him go, averting her eyes from the one image she had never wanted to see, him walking away. But she was unable to stop herself from calling out to him one last time.

           “Hey Donghae, how far do you think I'll fall if I choose to continue playing god? Do you think the police, your friends, can catch me?”

           Much to her surprise he stopped in place and after a long terse moment answered her in a low voice, “You need to stop this. If you don't the next time we meet it will be the day when I have the evidence to bring you in.”

           His foot steps then resumed leaving Jessica alone in her apartment. Turning to watch the view of the sky line of her beloved city that she would continue to protect no matter what she allowed herself to cry at the loss of her very best friend, and the gaining of an enemy.

           It was Donghae's gentle voice that drew her out of the memory.

           “If I said I missed you would it change anything?”

           She thought on that question before admitting, “It wouldn't change much.”

           In return he smiled in a grim way accepting her answer as truth.

           Glancing at the tv, which was repeating the same video feed as before, she knew there wasn't much time left. At most and hour, most likely less. Donghae confirmed this with the way he kept looking at his watch, counting down the minutes until the end. Unwilling to waste the time she had left Jessica took steady steps toward him that were at odds with the sudden frantic beating of her heart.

           Not even facing her impending doom could be so terrifying as facing the man who she had loved all her life, both as a friend and romantically, the man who had by now come to hate her.

           “What now? Are you ready to arrest me Detective Donghae?” For a moment she considered holding her wrists out for effect but decided against it because she really didn't want to spend however long her freedom lasted with hands bound.

           Eyebrows raised he asked, “You heard about my promotion?”

           She lightly rolled her eyes, was this really the thing to worry about now?, nodding the affirmative. Of course Jessica had kept tabs on him, just he had kept track of her body count. Although she knew that she had watched over him for a much different reason than he had her.

           More silence as Donghae took in her sparsely furnished room seeming more relaxed then when he had first entered.

           Tired of the quiet she once more tried to initiate conversation of some sort. “Any last questions before the storm hits?”

           Staring at her couch, a comfortable black leathery thing, he asked the hardest question of all to answer because it was so simple and vague; why?

           Interlacing her fingers she tried to think of the right answer to such a broad question but failed in finding it. So she fell back on the tactics that had kept her alive thus far and answered the question without actually answering it.

           “I thought we went over this last time, they were all trash and I just took them out,” she said in a chillingly detached manner.

           He sighed in a resigned way and Jessica wondered if he was just going to leave it at that. Really she wouldn't hold it against him, after all she was the one being frustrating because it was a question she had always avoided vocally answering. In fact she hoped Donghae would just let sleeping dogs lie, if he did narrow down the question she wouldn't be able to deny him the answer that would likely make him hate himself. Because he was the kind of person who would blame all of this on himself because of actions she had chosen to make.

           Walking a bit closer after a moment of frustration he sighed, “You know what I mean Jessica, why did you start this? Why did you suddenly decide killing the bad people was the right course of action?”

           Well damn, was all she could think. Cursing the man for being so thorough, even at the end of it all, she compiled a response in her head carefully before answering.

           “Did you ever find our why your Aunt and Uncle forfeited your custody to your godparents only a year after your parents death?” she asked enigmatically.

           Seeing his confused expression she told him to just answer her.

           Eyebrows drawn together, looking quite perplexed, he shook his head. “No I never did, figured there was no need. They weren't the best guardians ever. What exactly-”

           “Just listen,” she interrupted, “The reason they forfeited custody was because I made them. One day when I'd come to visit you I'd come to early and you weren't back from soccer practice yet, and I stumbled upon the discussion your finances. Or really discussing how to best take all the money that had been left from your mum and da and get it in their name. In other words how to steal, embezzle, the money that was all you had left from your parents.”

           Pausing a moment, to steel herself for what she was gong to say next, she took in the still confounded, and more than a little shocked, expression on his face. Jessica held up a hand signaling him to be patient before resuming the story.

           “When I found out about this I didn't know what to do first but then I became clear. One night when I stayed over I snooped through all their papers until I had enough proof of what they were doing and I blackmailed them into giving up custody saying if they didn't I'd take the papers to the police. Now I know this seems to have nothing to do with me killing bad people but it does.

           When I protected you from those nasty god awful people I learned that I wanted to keep protecting those who were unable or unaware of the circumstances and thus couldn't protect themselves. Then one day I saw a man leaving his three month old baby in a dumpster and I decided that the world was better without such scum.” Closing her eyes, not wanting to see his face, she gave him the answer he had asked for; but not at all the one he expected.

           She stayed like that for a few minutes, eyes closed letting him process all she had said. Only when his arms wrapped around her did Jessica's eyes fly open from the shock.

           Hesitating to wind her own arms around him she just stood there like a statue as Donghae's breath became ragged and the man buried his face in her shoulder. He squeezed her tight as her shoulder became wet from tears. Unable to hold back the urge to comfort him, she could never bear him crying, Jessica reached her arms around him and managed to draw him in closer to her. Faintly she could hear him mumbling, so it is my fault. Really he needed to not be such a self blaming masochist, she had been the one to decide to get rid of the trash people, not him.

           It felt like forever, but it wasn't all that long until his overwhelming emotions, and the tears that came with, subsided. But even then he didn't draw away from her. Having waited for him to calm down Jessica quietly informed him, “It isn't your fault, even had I not learned the satisfaction of protecting you I would have eventually figured it out and ended up here anyway. It was inevitable.”

           Pulling back just enough for her to see his slightly red and puffy eyes, not the mention the pained expression, he firmly told her, “You are crazy Jessica, honest to god crazy.”

           “Yeah I kinda am,” she whispered her feeling as though she had just swallowed lead.

           Jessica may deserve those words but damn it, it hurt.

           Ready for him to let go of her now, maybe finally call in the swat team or something, she was beyond surprised when his arms remained around her.

           “So you going to arrest me now?” she asked a bit of dark humor tainting her voice.

           His arms tightened around her for a second before he relaxed against her once more. “Not yet, we have five more minutes.”

           “Will you stay until they come?”

           Tears gathered in her eyes briefly before she pushed them down. He had cried already, if she did too that would just be too much to handle.

           “Trust me I'm not going anywhere.”

           Gripping the material of his coat she hid her face against his neck. “Why are you here, staying with me, after everything that has happened?

           Her words came out a bit muffled but none the less he heard them. Donghae pressed a soft, oh so bittersweet, kiss against her forehead answering, “Because in these past three years I've found it to be too hard to hate you. I've realized that while I will never understand or forgive your actions but I will always love you.”

           “Are you trying to make me cry?” she laughed softly, sadly.

           Chuckling deeply he held onto Jessica just a bit tighter as their time together drew to a close. “Never.”

–

           Small puffs of white from the nearby cotton trees drifted on the wind delicately. Dancing on the whimsical currents their beauty went unnoticed by a small crowd of somber people dressed in varying shades of black.

           The group of people, currently ignorant to natures divine beauty, huddled closer than necessary given the warm muggy weather. What they gathered around were just of many tombstones that littered the area. Only these plots were covered in fresh soil yet to be covered by grass. For as fresh as the burials were so too was the grief of those still living.

           A man and a woman.

           A husband and wife.

           A mother and father.

           So many roles for just two people to hold, and so much that they had left behind.

           In particular there was one boy who stood so solemnly for one so young. His chin wavered as he heard a eulogy spoken by a distant aunt or uncle but he refused to give into the grief and cry.

           Despite being a child who'd just lost everything a child should always have, the illusion innocence, his parents, life as he knew it, no one stood close enough to comfort him. As though in standing too close they might feel what he felt, or have to accept responsibility for the boy. That is all except one. A girl of similar age who held her chin up defiantly and took his hand. Cheeks stained with tears the boy had held in she shared a look with him briefly. No smiles were exchanged, nothing not even a grimace, just pure understanding.

           For the boy that small hand that held his without hesitation was like an anchor keeping the world together.

           She didn't flinch or back away from the pain as his hand gripped hers so hard it shook as person after person spoke their peace. And she didn't let go of him when his new guardians, adults he barely new, finally came to his side to take him away to a different house, a different life.

           Together the stood holding hands never saying a word because nothing needed to be said. Even in loosing all he had he would always have her, and in return she would always have him.

           A boy and a girl.

           Jessica and Donghae.

           That was just the way it was, and would always be.