Why them?
Why them and not me?
Why is it that he is always laughing and joking around with them, but then he turns all serious and distant with me?

I mean, yah, when we first me each other, it was awkward.
But after a month or so, I was friends with everyone.

Except him.

No matter how much I tried, he would avoid me like I was some disease. At first, I thought he was like that because it was his personality; cold and distant.
And since we were trainees, it made sense that he would only focus on practicing, not on the six of us. Plus, I thought he would eventually warm up to us sooner or later.

And he did.
To them.

He quickly became friends with Zico and Jaehyo hyung then with Taeil hyung and Kyung and finally P.O.
Thinking that I was next, I prepared countless conversations in my head. Like how we both love dancing and how we like things neat and tidy, and how we have the same blood type. Just thinking about it got me excited.

But that day never came.

He never approached me or talked to me unless the other five were there. And if he did, It would be something like, “ For that verse, let’s try this move.” or “Our synchronization is a bit off at this part.” or “Let’s try to cover this dance.” or “ We’ll be practicing individually today.”

Work. He always talked about the work and practice we had to do when he was with me.
Nothing but work, work, and work.

Never once did he say, “Wanna take a beak?” or “Good Morning.” or “Let’s go out and eat today.” or even share a single joke with me. He doesn't even smile when he is with me.

And what frustrates me even more is that he is capable of doing those things.
He is capable of talking, laughing, and joking. But not around me.

He would often eat out with Zico or Jaehyo hyung, goof around with Kyung and P.O, and always chatting with Tail hyung.
But not a single activity with me.

It’s been like this for the past nine months, and he has yet to do any of those things with me. Of course, it doesn’t mean that I haven’t tried to befirend him.
I have. Countless times.

Except, each and every time, he would ignore when I approached him, or make up an excuse about why he can’t go out and eat with me, or just flat out reject me and walk away.

At first, I was upset and disappointed with the way he treated me. But over time, I realized that it was more than just being upset because I every time I saw him, my heart would ache. It would ache for days and I could nothing about the pain; it hurt even more that I couldn’t be friends with him; let alone confess to him.

So, I decided to keep my feelings to myself. I will just go on with the way things have been for the past nine months. As hard and as difficult it has been, and will be, I have no choice.

It’s my only option.
_____________________________________________________________________________

“And another day…” I mumbled to myself a I walked to the elevator. Once I was in, I pressed the fourth floor; the practice room.
“Hold the door!” Yelled a familiar voice suddenly.
“Huh?” I said as I quickly stopped the doors from closing.
Letting the doors go, I looked up only to see his face; mere inches away from mine.
“Are you going to let me in?” Asked B-Bomb.
“Oh…um…of course.” I replied awkwardly, shuffling to the left side of the elevator as the doors closed.

Silence.

Ding. Second floor.

Silence.

Ding. Third floor.

Silence.

Ding. Fourth floor.

When the doors opened, B-Bomb quietly walked out.
And the second he left, I let go of my breath.
“Huuu…” I exhaled, “That was so nerve-wrecking.”
After catching my breath, I entered the practice room; noticing that I was the last one in.
“Hyung!” Called the maknae, “You’re late again.”
“You were always so punctual Kwonnie. What happened?” Asked Zico.

B-Bomb happened, I thought.

“Nothing.” I replied lamely.
“What ever it is, don’t let it happen again.” Continued Zico, “Our debut is around the corner.”
“Ok.” I replied as I went to the cubbies to put my backpack away. But before heading back, I quickly said my daily chant, “ You can do this Yoo Kwon. Just focus on practicing. Not him. Aja Aja fighting!”
With that, I headed for practice.
_____________________________________________________________________________

- Four hours later -

“Uhh…my poor body.” Complained P.O.
“I know. Tell me about it.” Added Taeil.
“Ok Guys. We have a 45 minute break. Ima go and get some food for us.” Informed Zico, “So drink some water and get some rest.” 

“You tired Kwonnie?” Asked Jaehyo hyung, while slumping next to me.
“Not really hyung.” I replied with a smile
“Ehh?? Why not? We’re all dying here and you’re ok?”
“Haha. Well, I’ve always liked dancing, so I am ok.”
“ I am jealous, you lucky brat.”
“Hehe. Well, if you want, I can-” I said as I was cut off by Kyung.

“You have a girlfriend?!” Kyung asked practically yelling; bringing everyone’s attention to him and B-Bomb.
“No. I told you. She is just a friend.”
“Yah. Uh-huh. A ‘friend’ that you have been eating out with everyday?”
“Well, we did go out to eat, but…”
“But what?” Asked the rest of the members, surrounding B-Bomb.
“But. Well, I don’t know. We just eat and hang out. Nothing special.”
“Then you’re dating, Babo.” Jaehyo said as he got up and swung his arm around B-Bomb; almost as if congratulating him. The other members followed suit and started teasing B-Bomb.

Not being able to take it any longer, I darted out of the room.
And the second I was out, the tears that I had been holding back in the room poured out of my eyes. I slumped against the door and cried into my hands. All the feelings that I had locked away came rushing out with every sob that left my mouth.

“U…Kwon? Are you crying?” Asked Zico as he came back with our lunch.
“N-No…um…” I stuttered, not sure what to say, “ Excuse me” I quickly said, running in the direction Zico came.

 Once out of the building, I ran. Ran as fast as I could.
I don’t know how far I ran, but I was running out of breath, so I slowed down; my tears, however, did not.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Wiping my tears away, I looked at my surroundings, realizing I was by the Han River. I guess I ran quite a distance. And since my being did not have any energy left, physically or emotionally, I sat by the river for a good 15 minutes, crying my heart out, before deciding to head back.
As I got up, I saw a figure in the direction I ran. A  familiar figure.

“I…finally…found…you.” B-Bomb said in between breaths. He then took a deep breath, exhaled it, and walked in my direction.

I, however, turned around and walked away from him but I didn’t get that far because he grasped my right wrist and turned me around, causing our faces to be mere inches away. Not being able to breath, I pushed him away with a yell.

“Just leave me alone!”
“I can’t do that.” He replied calmly.
“Can’t…do that?” I asked in confusion.
“How can I leave my band member out here alone? Crying at that.”
“Tch. Band member.” I said sarcastically, “Look, I don’t need your sympathy, ok?”
“I’m not being sympathetic.”
“Then what?”
“Concern.”
“C-Concern? Since when? When I needed your concern months ago, I never got it. When I needed comfort from you, I never got it. When I needed a friend, some companionship, I never got it. All I ever got from you was the cold shoulder!” I yelled at the top of my lungs. “I never asked for much. Just a smile or a conversation. But no. I couldn’t even get that…” I continued with my voice cracking, “So don’t you dare say you’re concerned about me…just don’t.” and before I realized it, I slumped to the ground; crying

“I’m sorry.”

That was all I heard before I felt an arm wrap around my back, while the other hand on my head, patting it lightly.

“I’m sorry.” B-Bomb said softly into my ear, “I never meant to hurt you, I guess I was just thinking about myself. Or rather, I thought I was the only one hurting. I didn’t realize that you were hurting so much more. I’m sorry Yoo Kwon."

I’m in B-Bomb’s arms: I can feel his heartbeat. I can smell the scent on his shirt. I can feel his chest rising and going down as he breaths. I am actually in B-Bomb’s arms! Everything that I had dreamed of is actually happening!

“Will you forgive me, Yoo Kwon?”
“Huh?” I said snapping out of my thoughts.
“I’m asking for your forgiveness.” B-Bomb said as pulled out from the embrace, looking directly into my eyes.
“Ah…um…” I stuttered as I turned red at the close proximity but then a thought hit me, “Why…why did you say that you were hurting? And I thought you had that…that girl.”

And then the most magical thing happened: B-Bomb blushed!
“B-Because..I c-couldn’t…c-convey my feelings…” He said as his voice drowned to a whisper.
“Feelings?” I asked; not believing what I just heard.
“Yes. My feelings. For you.” he said while looking into my eyes.

Now it was my turn to blush.
With my face hidden in his chest, I spoke, “But you were so cold and distant to me…”

“That’s because it was love at first sight. I mean, when I heard you talk and laugh for the first time, I knew I had fallen for you." He then paused, letting me soak in his words before  I nodded, letting him know that he could continue. “But because you were my first crush, I didn’t know what to do nor how to approach you. And since we had just met, it made it twice as hard to befriend you while keeping my feelings under control.”

“So that’s why you stayed away form me?” I asked.
“Yah. I thought that if I approached the others first, it would give me some strength. As you know, I am not the most social person out there.”
“Hehe…” I giggled; thinking how true that statement was. Seeing me giggle, B-Bomb laughed and continued with a smile, “I guess I was just too afraid to take a chance with you. So I decided that I would stay away from you. I thought if I repressed my feelings, they would go away. But I was wrong. No matter how hard I tried, you were always on my mind. I didn’t know that by doing that, I had hurt you so much. I am so sorry, Yoo Kwon.”

“But what about that girl Kyung mentioned?” I asked softly.

“Her? Well, she was just an old friend, and I knew she liked me, so I thought ‘Why not date her and see if I can forget Yoo Kwon?’ But every time we went out, it was a disaster. Everywhere we went or anything we did, I had no interest in as I only thought about you all day.” B-Bomb said as he tightened his arms around me. “Plus, yesterday was the last time we would see each other. I told her that I had no interest in her. That I already had someone else I liked.” He said while smiling shyly.

Because I was so lost for words, there was a long silence.
But when I felt B-Bomb tighten his hold on me even more, I knew the exact words to say.

“I’ll forgive you.” I said, “ If and only if you promise that after our debut, you’ll still stay by my side. That you‘ll be there when I need a companion; that you‘ll be there when I‘m in a slump; that you‘ll be there when I just want to see you. For no reason.” I said while playing with his jackets buttons, too shy to look him in the eye.

“I’ll be there. I will 100% be there when you need me.” B-Bomb said, grasping my hands and holding them to his chest. “I’ll be around you so often, that you’ll get tired of me.”

Hearing that, I laughed like a dork and hugged B-Bomb so tight, that we fell over on to our backs and landed side by side.
With our hands still clasped together.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Thank you for reading. And please comment and subscribe :)

Also, please look out for my future fanfics. I will be writing a lot of UBOMB fanfics this summer, so please stay tuned for more.

A/N: Image Credit: UBOMBTumblr