Tao's POV

I knew that we had to shower and dress soon if we wanted to spend any time with our neighbors before we left for the rendezvous point, but it was hard to make myself leave the warm bed and the boy with glowing hair and golden eyes. We lay facing each other, taking in every detail of the other's features without leaving anything out.

“I don't want to leave,” Kai admitted in a hoarse voice, saying the words I always knew were in his head somewhere. His glow was faltering and his lips trembled. It was nearly unbearable to watch. Putting a hand to his cheek and seeing him nuzzle further into it, I confessed to wishing he could stay or that I could go with, wishing something would happen to let us be at each other's side longer.

“We could sabotage the event,” I joked and we both laughed quietly so the sound wouldn't destroy the intimacy of the moment. “How hard would it be to break something vital on the ship or rocket or whatever you guys are using?” By this point I was only half-joking and starting to really consider the idea.

“We're leaving in the pods, but Taozi, I'm needed on my planet. We didn't come here for nothing, you know.” His eyes turned serious and my hand fell to the bed between us while I listened.

Kai's planet was unstable. Too many important species of insect, mammal, plant, and reptile had died out and become extinct, leaving the other organisms with less food, less sustenance and making some populaces balloon out of control because they no longer had predators. The aliens had come here to collect data on Earth's ecosystems and some DNA samples of it's occupants to clone, breed, and alter until they could come up with something to even out the balance again.

It was hard to imagine some of the creatures he described and even the plants sounded like they wanted to eat me alive if they had the chance. I was becoming scared of letting Kai go back to such a dangerous place and I told him this, expecting him to say, “Oh, it's not all that bad” or at least something along the lines of “I won't die”.

Instead he got up and brought the cube over to the bed, putting it in my hands and wrapping his on top, telling me to keep it and keep it safe.

“Don't you need this to leave?” I asked, confused and feeling a small part of me wake up and panic at the thought that he could die if he leaves.

He shook his head. “This is what I need,” he said, taking the strange green cloth bag I had found his cube in. “I can fit into Xiumin's pod with him, but this is what I can't leave without. It's like the fuel that Luhan puts in his car and so much more.”

I sat up and took another look at the weird substance, not understanding. “This... What is it?”

“It's the skin of an animal that doesn't exist on my planet anymore, with chlorophyll running in it's veins,”

“Like a plant?” I asked, wondering how that was possible. I knew from biology that chlorophyll was what gave vegetation it's color and used the light of the sun to create the sugars needed to sustain itself. “How is that possible?” I remember my teacher going on about how incredible it would be for humans to sustain themselves like that and basically ending world hunger in one fell swoop, but he was very certain that this sort of thing wasn't even remotely possible.

“We don't know either,” he explained. “And we realized the dying of it's population too late. They became extinct because of the demand for flights off the planet growing too large to appease. The small amount we managed to keep stored is really only enough to get us here and take us back,” Kai observed the bag again. “Actually there's just a little more left over, but it definitely isn't enough for another person, even if this much exists on all the others too." He ripped off a tiny piece in a line, tying it around my wrist. “If it turns out we need it, I'll have to take it back, but otherwise...” He winked up at me. “Shh...”

“Kai, you don't have to give me these things-” I sighed, trying to untangle the knot he made and finding it impossibly tight. The fabric was just too thin to grip at.

He stopped my hands in their struggle and held them loosely before him. “I want to. I want to give you everything I can before I leave. I don't... want you to forget me.”

“That's never going to happen, ever.” I assured him as I stood up and embraced my alien boyfriend. “You are stuck bright in my mind like a single star, never fading and never moving.”

Kai's hands made themselves comfortable around my waist as he kissed me chaste on the lips. The simple act left a shadow of feeling behind as I pulled him towards the bathroom. We could save time by showering together after all...

***

We were a mopey group of four at Luhan's house, but there became a silent agreement that we didn't want our last seconds together to be so negative, and it wasn't long before we were laughing and throwing pancake mix in each other's faces.

Our neighbors insisted on making breakfast for us one last time. To their credit, not a single pancake was burned, but the first few ended up only half-cooked through and all were splattered in strange shapes from their battle with the spatula to get it to flip correctly. At some point I took over and threw the useless utensil in the sink (it was a training wheel, really) and whipped up the pan expertly, resulting in perfect flips that awed the others.

Time ticked on until there were simply no minutes left and we were all piling up in Luhan's car, back to the reality that only two of us would come back. For all their confident words, the other couple broke down crying during the drive, feeling the road left rapidly get shorter. Luhan pulled over so they could collect themselves and I offered to drive instead, more than certain that I'd cried every last tear I could already.

Luhan agreed and gave me the address. I was surprised we were going so far; the drive would take nearly all day. Xiumin explained that they needed a more rural area to leave where less people would see them; there was even an eclipse tonight that they intended to use for added safety.

“I don't think there's any real point to all this,” Luhan sniffled, reaching over from the back seat to pull a stash of napkins out of the glove compartment, using one to blow his nose and tossing the others to Xiumin for him to use. “There are tons of UFO stories in our history and the general idea going around is that they are all fake. Plus what would be so bad about the world knowing about aliens?”

It was something said off-handedly, but really just how many of those incidents had been real? The thought entertained us as we strove on, sharing what rumors we've heard or found on the internet.

I was so glad to have friends that shared this burden. Even though I felt bad that someone else had to suffer the same tragic parting, I knew that both neighbors wouldn't trade their memories together for anything and in truth, I don't think I could have gone through this alone. I wouldn't have handled it so gently and might have destroyed something in the process, probably myself, though the idea of sabotaging the pods was still in the corner of my mind.

Eventually, I drove us down a bumpy dirt road that seemed to stretch on forever until it unfortunately ended in a natural dirt parking lot created by many tires and many feet over the years. We had come to a very large grass plain where the only things to break it were the people who hugged and cried and greeted each other like long-time friends.

“We picked this place a long time ago,” said Xiumin, as I switched the car off. “It used to be a place for stargazers and campers until a rumor spread around-” he directed a look at Luhan, who shrugged not-so-innocently. “that the place had a nuclear plant buried beneath it that was still radioactive.”

“There's no harm done, really-” Luhan began when I heard my name being called through the open car door.

“Tao!” Suho greeted again, rushing up to meet me as soon I climbed out of the car. “Your story- it's beautiful. It really is. Don't ever stop writing,” he sniffed and hugged me suddenly. “You can have all the books in my collection, every single one. There's an envelope with a key and an address for you in the school office if you just ask for it. Just take them all.”

I laughed at the short teacher, wondering when I'd suddenly become his favorite student. “Class won't be the same without you, Suho.” Literally. I can't even imagine having to sit through another class with a different teacher who was all for teamwork, presentations, and peer editing. He introduced the tall man standing beside him awkwardly as Kris, the human he was planning on giving the rest of his acquired possessions to. I understood this to mean that me and Luhan weren't the only ones to mix with the aliens.

“Sehunnie!” Luhan ran up to a tall kid who was looking very bored all on his own until he saw the man running to tackle him in a hug. Xiumin was busy greeting someone named Chen and talking animatedly about things to do with the take-off that I didn't understand at all. A third alien with wide eyes and dark hair wandered up to them with a kite, giving them information on the wind currents. This is where Kai left my side, giving my hand a squeeze before joining the group.

There was a couple embracing tightly, glowing light from every centimeter of skin as they openly kissed in front of everyone. I guessed they were the Yeollie and Baek I heard about.

“Are you human?” asked someone from behind me, interrupting my observations. He smiled, showing off a deep-set dimple when I said I was. “Good. I thought it was just me and Lulu.” Doing a quick head count, I found there to be four extras and I pointed this out the man. “I'm here with the one being molested over there.” he said and I found him to be indicating Sehun, who was indeed being tickled all over, including under his shirt, by Luhan.

“Aren't you worried at all for him?” I asked chuckling at the sight.

“Nah, I know little Lulu well enough to know he wouldn't dare cross that line.” He spoke very evenly and calmly, his face not giving away a thing to make it seem like he meant an actual threat. “I'm Lay, though that's just a nickname. My name's really Yixing, but just call me Lay.”

“Hi, Lay. It's... nice to meet you.” I said, not knowing what else to say here.

He gave me a confused look. “Why haven't I met you before? I've met or at least seen nearly everyone else here, but definitely not you and...”

“That's Kai.” I blurted out. “He's the last one to be found. I opened his pod.”

“Ah,” he nodded in understanding and called Luhan over.

“Yeah?” asked Luhan, breathless, Sehun trailing behind.

Lay gestured over to Suho, who pointed at his watch and then the moon.

“The eclipse will start soon,” said Kris jogging over to relay the message. “And when it does, they'll only have a few minutes to get going, so we should probably say our goodbyes now.”

I sought out Kai without waiting for the others and pulled him into my arms before he even finished talking. I was beyond caring that there were people around, I just wanted him close.

“If we're successful, my first trip will be straight back here on Earth, I prom-”

His words were cut off by a whooshing sound of air and a number of shouts. Looking over, the pods were being assembled together by those who were free to do so, the size Kai's was when it opened.

The same panicky feeling that he could die sprung up and I couldn't stop the words anymore. Words of wishes, words of promises, words to tell him to stay safe and eat right, words that told him how much I'd miss him- they all came out in a big rush. Finally, three words that weren't supposed to be said rung out.

“I love you!”

***

I can't sleep in the dark.

I can't. It was an irrational fear from childhood that never left me and I hated it.

The power had gone out one day when I had just closed my eyes, and I felt the instant darkness shoot straight through my lids. This had happened before, only I was used to waking up to seeing Kai's worried face lit by the golden light he radiated that lulled me to sleep again.

My dad would often ask if I needed help, like professional help, to pull me out of the stupor of grief he couldn't understand. What good would that do me? I can't imagine a serious conversation with a shrink about what I was feeling. So hey, my alien boyfriend that I've been keeping secret just left Earth and me behind and I feel like death every minute of every day because he isn't behind me every time I turn around with that stupid smirk on his face.

Kai was gone.

Gone.

And nothing would make that okay. Nothing would fill the empty space he left in my life, in my heart. The pain came in waves that could not be stopped.

After watching the incredible sight of the boys getting into their pods (with a little protesting from Xiumin, who Kai forgot to tell that he wanted to share) turning again into the golden swirling pools, the shrinking of the individual cubes, and the moment of eclipse that covered whatever happened next, it was just me and the other three humans. Each of us felt like we'd been ripped in half. There was something weirdly bonding about the experience, and we promised to keep in touch, if only to make sure no one was planning on hurting themselves before giving the aliens a chance to come up with something to bring them back.

It was really difficult not to consider ending everything and it scared me how much I thought about this. I always knew myself to be okay on my own and not needing to speak to others or even stay in the same room. I guess it all changed when I found a single soul I didn't mind being around and even wanted to be around on a daily basis.

The first night without Kai was the hardest and eventually I clambered out the window to Luhan's in bare feet, clutching the panda plushie to my chest like my alien pet used to. He let me in without a word and I fell into a fitful sleep on the floor of his bedroom, letting myself believe that Luhan's breathing was actually Kai's.

There was school to go to, but thanks to Suho's words before he left, I was able to pull off being sick a while longer. I couldn't stay home forever though; there were too many memories and I was tired of thinking I could see Kai out of the corner of my eye when really it was just a ray of sunlight glinting off the fridge handle, the glass tabletop, the metal cube sitting on my desk.

When I finally went to school again, I told my friends that my dog died to explain my mood. It wasn't too far off, really. Kai started off as my pet and the chances I'd see him again were next to nothing. If I told them that my boyfriend moved away, it wouldn't be the same. It's not even a long-distance relationship anymore when the other is light-years away; it's just impossible. I couldn't call. I couldn't send pictures or emails. All I had was a cube and a bracelet of a weird animal/plant hybrid creature that didn't exist.

I remembered to get the envelope from the office and tore it open to find a little note of goodbye along with the key and address. In it, he reminded me how great he thought my piece was and how much he wished we could have talked more. I made a mental note to ask Luhan to come with me. Knowing Suho, whose staggering book piles changed on his desk daily, there was bound to be a lot.

***

“Are you sure this is the right address?” I asked Luhan as he pulled into the driveway of – well, a mansion. “I mean, Suho lived on a teacher's salary, didn't he?”

“This is what he wrote, Tao. I'm sure it's correct. If it's not, we'll head home. Simple as that.”

I didn't like the image my mind created of Suho's face if he really did get the address wrong and I wouldn't ever inherit the collection he painstakingly acquired.

At the door, I raised my hand to knock and Luhan said, “What are you doing? There won't be anybody home. Just use your key.”

“Right.” I forgot. I tried the key and it turned easily, so we stepped inside the large building.

The first thing I noticed was that Suho had more books than I'd originally thought. Bookshelves, stocked to the point of overflowing, lined every wall of every room, custom fit to reach the ceiling. The subjects ranged from home gardening to thick engineering textbooks.

“How did he pay for all this?” I asked, stunned at the sheer amount of books and ran a hand along the spines, pausing on a French cookbook, the words complete gibberish to me. When did Suho have time to learn French?

“He's not just a teacher.” came a loud voice and Kris stumbled in from one of the other rooms. “He did a lot of undercover, secret stuff for the government- though of course he never told me exactly what.”

“Kris, are you drunk?” asked Luhan, grabbing the man's arm as he lost balance on his long legs. “Oh, don't answer; I can smell it from here.” He pinched his nose and helped Kris into a plush armchair in the living room.

“You should- you should see Lay. I'm not drunk,” he said making wide gestures with his arms. “I'm not drunk! Lay- he's drunk. He's very drunk. I left him in the kitchen- I should go get him. You should see how drunk he is.” Kris made to get up, but Luhan pushed him back down and asked that I go search for the other man instead.

In the kitchen, there were empty bottles lining the counter. It looked like they had spent every day since the aliens left going through Suho's alcohol stores. We probably should have kept better tabs on them, but in all their calls, they never seemed to be this depressed and they certainly never mentioned that they were staying at Suho's. Lay was sitting on a stool with his head on the kitchen island, staring listlessly at his glass and tracing the lines of condensation with a lazy finger. He looked up as I put a hand to his back and sat down next to him.

“Tao... Tao Tao...” He hiccuped and continued his tracing. “Sehunnie isn't here. He's not here. Here, here is empty.” His next words were mumbled and slurred to the point where I couldn't understand them, but I could feel the pain behind them. He lifted his arm and looked like he was going to do something, but just let it flop back down and hiccuped again.

I rubbed his back and tried my best to console him when he started tearing up.

“What's that?” came Luhan's voice behind me.

“I thought you were with Kris-”

“Never mind that! What is that?” He pointed at my hand on Yixing's back and I saw the green bracelet poke out. “Is that what I think it is?”

“If you think it's the weird animal-plant fuel for the alien spaceship, then-”

“Wait, where did you get that?” asked Lay, still foggy, but very much interested in this conversation.

I explained, “Kai gave it to me before he left.”

“He just gave it to you?” asked Luhan in disbelief. “That's like giving an engagement ring to someone you just met.”

“Luhan, that's not the point!” snapped Lay, taking my arm and pulling the sleeve back to look at the wispy string. “We could study this!”

“Study?”

“We could study this!” I shouted, standing up in the excitement. “We could study this and try to recreate it on our side!”

“Tao-”

“If we're successful, they could come back, maybe even come back for good-”

“Huang Zitao!” yelled Luhan firmly, finally catching my attention. “What would we do with it?” he asked in a quieter voice. “They don't have enough to get here again even if we were successful. Minnie made it very clear that what they brought with them was the very last on their planet.”

“Then...” I couldn't give up now. This idea was good, it really was. “Then... We'll go to them. I have Kai's pod, we could study that too!”

“T-Tao... We d-don't even know anything about biology or engineering or-”

“We can learn.” suggested Kris, leaning against the door-frame heavily. “Suho left behind enough money to put us all through college twice if we wanted to. Three times even, maybe seven. I don't know; I'm very confused right now...”

I turned back to my neighbor. “Luhan, we can either do nothing and wait while their scientists get to work, or we can try what we can here and at least feel like we're doing something productive. Besides, wouldn't Minnie be proud and impressed that you tried so hard to find him?”

He looked at me a minute with tears streaming down his face, assessing just how serious I was being. “Damn it, Tao... I'm in!” said Luhan, voice cracking.

I didn't even care that this was a useless hope. The aliens had incredible technology at their disposal and we had no clue how to even start with the cube, but it was a single point to hold onto with Kai not here, and I intended to do everything I could to see him again.

I've had enough of that panda plushie not hugging me back.

I've had enough of the sunlight playing tricks on my mind.

I can't sleep in the dark, and every night that I'm not sleeping will have to be filled with studying instead.