They say once you're broken into pieces you could still learn to love again, and that's what donghae also believed. At least he thought so. But it's not easy to say it at first, believing with this just like fooling yourself with your own plain pain lies.

White lies.

How can you learn to love again if all you felt was all pain? - he always wanted to say that to his every friends and people who console him with that words, but just keeping to himself because who he wants to believe with him anyway? Instead all he can and could do was to smile like yes, I hope so and I know. 

He knows he can't and will never ever be. He believed the first and last he would and will always love was him. Unfortunately, the real world wasn't a fairytale you could wish with your wanted future to have, real world wasn't like a magic that if there's you wanted you could get it, real world doesn't have fairies and witches to grant a bless and curse you at any second because real world means real life, and real life means could make you happy by falling in love and ended up by getting hurt. 

It's like a wheel, that if you're in euphoria expected at the end you'll get hurt, afterwards you could learn to move on and getting hurt again. It's like a circle, circle that don't have an end, because it's never ending.

Just like now he is, 6 years of all just like yesterday he can still remember his first butterflies he felt in the stomach because of him, his first confession to him, his first kiss with him, all of his first, because first love never dies.

he was lucky enough that his first love, loved him back.

6 years of, at least he can say, happy memories with him.

6 years of he thought was everlasting love.

6 years of he hope was until the end.

6 years of loved from both of them.

6 years of he wished was forever.

6 years of he used to be.

6 years of he and him.

6 over year.

But what is the essence of long years in the long run if he couldn't even predict his future that he and him after 6 years was already and real over.

That he and him would never be back together again.

That he and him wouldn't be just like before.

That he and him wasn't with each other anymore.

That he and him was .... totally over.

That everything's over.

That everything's changed.

And neither of them Couldn't fix their relationship anymore.

Cause even you've tried to fix it, if the other one wouln't want to then you'll end up got tired,

tired from everything,

tired of hoping it would be fix if you'd just give a try, 

tired of trying all the possibilities to work it out just to save the relationship,

tired from non-sense, unstable and already broken relationship cause everything donghae did was just a waste.

That everything he did was hopeless.

That everything he did was pointless.

That everything he did wasn't enough to back them like before. 

That everything he did was .... Nothing.

That everything he would do won't change a thing.

That everything won't be like they used to be.

 

He used to be.

 

Because one thing is out that have a result; their relationship was already cracked, damaged and just memoir of the past. Their hearts was already broken. His heart was breaking. Too late to fix it cause the scars was already embrossed there that continously spreading and hard to mold it back like before.