One week. No visits, messages or calls from him. I left him a few messages and voice mails but don’t respond to any. Dusk is fast approaching and I walk towards my bike ready to head back home. I’ve been sitting around my favourite spot in Han Park the whole week wearily contemplating about everything. 

I stared at the sky one more time, and I am reminded of the thought sharing I had with Suho here.

You see, the only time that the day and night meets is during twilight. Over the course of nightfall you are taken aback, mesmerized by the fusion of colours in the sky, it’s like the heavens is in a beautiful mess. It just reminds me of the fact that you only meet your true love once and both of you can be in a mess but in a beautiful way.

“Have you met her?”

“Her?”

“Your sunset.”

“I think I may have met her already.”

Where do I find strength? Strength to face every day? I have lost all my desire to live my life to the fullest. I have been passive the entire week refusing to talk to anyone and have also been repudiating guests.

I dismissed my thoughts and focused on the weather. The weather today is good, enjoying the mixture of coldness from the melting ice and the warm wind breeze—it’s spring. The gentle wind tickles my face with my sluggish speed. For a while I felt good again, optimistic maybe then I remembered, Kris. I haven’t told him about my current situation maybe he can give me some good advice.

I pedal weakly as I am well aware that my health is failing. Jeez, I hate this but the thought of being able to talk to Kris again after four months energizes me. It feels good to know that there is no more uncomfortable vibe between us; that I can talk to him casually with no feelings attached or whatsoever.

I park my bike smoothly on the porch and entered hurriedly to the house. It’s awfully quiet and once again I am reminded of my lonesomeness.  It isn’t the same without Suho around… it feels like, everything is so plain without him. I dismissed the thought and went on with my plan which is to call Kris.

“Hyun In?” he answers on the first ring.

“Kris!”

“It’s been a while… how are you?”

“I’m good. What made you call? Is everything alright?” he asks.

I closed my eyes. I wish he didn’t have to ask. Fighting the urge to cry, I cleared my throat and decided to tell him everything that happened after he left.

“Dr. Hyeon gave me—five months.”

“FIVE MONTHS?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME HYUN IN? IT’S ALMOST FIVE MONTHS FOR CHRIST’S SAKE.”

“Yes I know, and I am not kidding.”

“And you’re only telling me this now?”

“I’m—sorry.” Bile rises to my throat; again I’m fighting the urge to sob.

He sighs heavily. “Do you want to come here with Auntie so you could, Uhm— take a break from all this . I can tour you around.” His words comfort me. I am thankful for him, after everything that has happened between us he’s still a good friend.

“That’s really nice of you Kris. I’ll have to ask mom first.”

“Okay, let me know immediately so I know if I’ll have to book a flight back to Seoul tomorrow. If you can’t come, then I will.

“If he can’t spare his time with your—Err, remaining days with you then I will.” He adds.

I want to cry.