Don't Come Back
Rain Sound Sequel : Don't Come Back : Yongguk's Story
Don't Come Back
Rain Sound Sequel
Eun Na: We didn't end up like this because I wanted to ... it was because I needed to. He was like an angel from heaven that everyone loved and praised. I was just ... just an ordinary amateur photographer that happen to meet him during a photo session. I don't like people, maybe because I've trust and believe too many to know that they'll end up hurting me. It was like that for everyone, even him; the Leader of Seoul's Famous Idol, Bang Yongguk.
Yongguk: I wished she understand. I wanted her to understand. She never did and never tried. I hate her so much yet at the same time, she's all I think about. She's the type of girl who keeps to herself but open up once in awhile. The kind of girl who stands tall by my side even without telling her to do so. The only thing that torn us apart was she doesn't trust nor believe anything or anyone easily. I was able to create the connection between us but eventually broke the bond. When I told her I loved her, I meant every single word of it and yet, I'm telling her don't ever come back. Will she?
---
It's the middle of Winter and we're on our way to the photo studio; the members and I are having a photo shoot today for our second EP. We all rushed inside the building since it was snowing but it felt like rain. It's been raining snow lately and eventually something will happen. "I wished everything goes smoothly." I prayed.
As we enter the studio, everything was neatly organized. I was impressed. Politely we greeted everyone there. Before the shoot, the boys and I are changing in the back room. Suddenly someone knock at the door, we all glance at the door to see who it was. A tiny feminine figure came inside the room. "The set is ready." She said coldly. I didn't know if she's having a bad day or something but the look on her face tells me, she doesn't like us. We quickly went onto the set. It was going to be individual shoot then group, we have three sets of clothing to change so I thought it was going to take the whole day.
One by one, we went to take our individual shoot. I was surprise that she wasn't around, it felt like she was an ghost or something because she disappear after getting us from the back room. Each one of us finished our first shoot, before starting the next we had lunch first. While eating the main photographer came inside the room, we all stood up.
Photographer: I have an emergency to go to. My son's in the hospital. I'll leave the rest of the work to Eun Na, she's one of my best amateur photographer. Sorry for the inconvenient.
I didn't think much of it because I don't usually mind who takes the photos but the other guys on the other hand are mumbling. While taking leave from the studio, we also finished eating lunch; getting ready to go back on set with the next outfits. Waiting on set to shoot.
Writer: Eun Na! We're ready.
Slowly walking in was the same girl from earlier. "She's the photographer?" I asked myself. Although she seemed cold earlier I have to admit, she's calmer now; she's smiling and it made her look beautiful.
Eun Na: Is everyone ready?
We all went in one by one to take the pictures. I remember it was my turn and she came closer holding her camera. Of course she was a girl and my heart fluttered when she stood in front of me.
Eun Na: You have something on your collar.
She slowly brush my collar and fix it correctly. I didn't know how she felt but I knew that it was a moment where I wasn't able to breath. She wasn't the type of girls I would look at but she was exceptional.
After the photoshoot was done, she quickly packed up and left. She seem to be in a rush. We all changed and went back to the company to practice. All I'm thinking, "Hope to see you again." I thought while getting ready to practice.
---
A few weeks later, we're going on a Music Show for our comeback. While waiting for the dry rehearsal, we have a short interview session with the reporters. While sitting there and answering questions I spot her at the far back. She's taking photos constantly and checking the photos over and over again. I remember just smiling out of the blue.
After the interview was over, we head over to the stage for the dry rehearsal. There once again, I see she's taking photos. I was wondering what she was up to.
PD: Eun Na! Ready with the camera?
Eun Na: Yes!
"So she's one of the camera crew." I thought.
Eun Na: Standby!
We did our best on stage for the dry rehearsal but it felt like I wasn't even participating. It was a moment of trance, I felt like it was only her and I in this big place. After the rehearsal, we went and got ready for the real show.
Eun Na: It felt weird that I'm doing this kind of job. I don't like working with Idols or celebrities. I just want a regular job who pay regular salary. However, I couldn't refuse the work when I was asked to do so. I wanted to know the answer, that's why I came. Now I know why. He might be the reason why. The calm and cool leader; he has so much charisma on stage.
She's sitting in the front row taking pictures, I try my best to stay relax. After the show, we all went back to the back room and relax before heading out. Our manager came inside the room, I'm thinking it's time to leave but he just gave me a note and smile.
Eun Na: I didn't know what was wrong with me. I want to say something but I couldn't so I wrote a note and gave it to his manager.
"You did a great job today." ~ Eun Na
I didn't know what was wrong with me, I smile idiotically looking at the note. "What is it?" Youngjae asked me. I ignore him and stick the note inside my pocket.
---
After the show, she haven't show up on any other music show. I was wondering where she were. As the week past, we got a week of break before heading to Japan to promote. I usually stay inside the dorm and studio and compose music. The other boys are out having fun. "Should I go out also?" I ask myself everytime I can't think of anything to write. It was a Wednesday when I went to the coffee shop hoping a drink will bring something to my mind. I'm sitting by the window and looking out; kids playing and screaming, couples holding hands. All I could do was smile since it was hard for me to be with someone being an idol. Suddenly out of the blue, I spot her. White T-shirt, blue Jeans and sneakers. She's holding a camera taking picture of the nature. I couldn't help myself but go toward her. As she sits calmly on the bench, I approach her quietly.
Yongguk: It's been a while.
She looks up at me and I seen an angel. Her eyes sparks like fire crackers.
Eun Na: Eo. How did you get here?
Yongguk: I was getting a drink from the coffee shop when I spot you.
Eun Na: Did you want to sit?
We sat there talking and getting to know each other. She was quiet, didn't ask much nor answer much but I didn't mind; it must be fate that brought us together.
Eun Na: He approach me awkwardly, but I guess it should be awkward when we barely knew each other. As he sat next to me and talk, I didn't want to say much nor want to answer because I wasn't comfortable with it. It was nice that he didn't pressure me. Although he didn't get much from me, I probably think he's annoyed.
It was getting late so I had to get back. I didn't want to make her stay late with me. Before leaving, as a man I asked her for her number. I didn't expect for anything but it was nice for her to give it to me.
Eun Na: I rarely give my number out to anyone but for some reason my feelings were telling me it's okay.
---
The next day and days after we kept in contact. I know it feels weird for her to message me so I did first to show that I had interest in her. A simple 'hello' was enough for me. We met up a few times to eat lunch or just drink a coffee.
It was the middle of Spring. My feelings keeps on building up but I didn't want to confess to her because I didn't want her to think she was an easy girl. I keep on wanting to see her because most of the time, I get my inspiration for it. Even the slightest words she says makes me think of something new to write. I finally asked her out and she agree to meet me somewhere.
I told the members I was going out, since I was the leader they didn't ask much where my abouts were. I took a taxi that day and left to the spot. It seems like a cemetary. It kind of creeped me out knowing our date would be at a cemetary. I see her standing at the gate waiting. I walked over and she smiled at me. It was the first time I've seen that smile from her. It kills me inside knowing something might be wrong for her to act that way. We walked up the hill to a tombstone. It went silence between us when she kneel down.
Eun Na: Oppa, how are you doing? I hope you're doing fine. Don't worry about me, I'm just fine here.
Without realizing, she starts to stutter her words and weep.
Eun Na: I'm sorry. Sorry that I didn't come earlier. You must be lonely here all by yourself. I didn't come and visit because I didn't have the courage. It was all my fault that I've made you this way ... if I was a good sister, I wouldn't have let you go. You don't have to worry about me anymore, I'm happy here.
After her sayings, she turns to me with blood red eyes; she's crying and I didn't know what to you. I wanted to pull her in and hug her but I couldn't. She's walking away and I wasn't able to do anything. Finally, I ran and caught up to her. "Eun Na." I called for her. She slowly stop and turn around. "Are you okay?" I asked. I knew she was lying when she said, "I'm okay." I didn't know what got into me but I rush over to hold her in my arms. Her tears soaked in my sweater.
Yongguk: You don't have to cry anymore. I promise I will protect you. Can you give me a chance?
She pulled away slowly.
Eun Na: I don't want to disappoint you ... I think we should give it more time.
Yongguk: But, I like you. I really do. You're the answer for all my questions and the reason for why I want to protect you.
Eun Na: But ---
Yongguk: You don't have to like me back ... I just want to tell you how I feel.
Before I left in disappointment, she pulled the back of my sweater.
Eun Na: It's not that I don't like you. It's that I've been through this so many times. Someone tells me they'll protect me and later they don't, leaving me heart broken. I don't want to experience that again.
Yongguk: You can believe me. I won't let you down.
I looked into her eyes and sees sadness but I believed that I will be able to erase all those painful memories away. "Believe in me." I said as I hold her again in my arms.
---
As months crawls by, we've been seeing each other secretly. I didn't want the press or reporters to know anything because I didn't want her to get hurt. It was hard for my company to accept the fact that I was dating. Our president sees the other situation before and didn't want me to be in that condition. I gurantee him that it won't happen.
Although I was afraid we'll get caught, she's the brave one that wasn't scared. We're promoting in Japan when I notice that she secretly showed up surprising me. I was afraid for her but at the same time, it felt good to know that she's right beside me and I'll be able to protect her.
Days turns to weeks and weeks turns into months. We're still staying strong together. I wasn't able contact or see her but she understands. She didn't want to get involve in my work and I wouldn't want to do it for hers. She's busy as a photographer and I'm busy as a Rapper. I'm in Japan and barely get the chance to go back to Korea. Once I do, I'm just there for a show then back to Japan again.
I didn't know what was going on until I saw the news. A rumor was saying that a Top Rank Business man was seen together with a professional photographer named 'Eun Na.' I didn't want to believe anything but to witness it with my own eyes. I see the newspaper but I didn't want it to affect our relationship. As soon as I went back to Korean, I find out everything. She wasn't dating him but they both didn't deny that they've been seeing each other. That made me furious. I couldn't believe that I was gone for a few months and she's cheating behind me. I called her up for talk and she agrees to meet up.
She had the perfect smile, she was happy to meet me; but I felt like she was just pretending. I went straight to the point and that made her step back.
Eun Na: You're going to believe rumors?
Yongguk: But I've seen it with my own eyes. You were with him.
Eun Na: So? You're saying I'm cheating?
Yongguk: I believe what I witness.
Eun Na: I can't believe this!
That was the first time I've seen she mad. It was either I didn't believe her enough or she's pretending.
Eun Na: I should witness what I see also then.
Yongguk: What do you mean?
Eun Na: You never utter out that you loved me but you say you loved your fans. You never held my hands but you did to someone else. You're so busy with everything else that I've became a stranger to you. It's not wrong if I'm with someone else.
Yongguk: So you admit it. You're seeing someone else!
Eun Na: I'm not going to lie that I'm not seeing someone else but it's not even like you think.
Yongguk: Remember what I told you before.
I see the anger in her and she sees I'm getting heated.
Yongguk: I told you before not to lie to me. I hate when the person I'm with lies, once you lie it's over.
She's standing there, tears filled up her eyes seeing me acting up like this. She's in pain but holding it inside bravely.
Eun Na: I see. Just to remind you, I believed and trusted you once; you just showed me that you're no different from everyone else. I wouldn't mind leaving because I'm getting tired of this. I'm done chasing and waiting.
She turned her back against mind. It was painful to see her walk away but I didn't really care because I was so mad that everything happen and she didn't even tell me. I hate her for cheating, I hate her not understanding and I hate her for lying. I promised myself not to see her again.
Yongguk: If you leave, don't come back!
She paused her steps but eventually kept on walking. I knew then that she wasn't coming back for good.
After that day we haven't seen each other. I've seen her on the news with the other man and she's happy. I told the members that between her and I was never going to work again. I went on with my career and didn't bother her even if I see her on the streets or shows, I don't stand up and talk to her. Before you knew it, I stop having feelings for her and had a new girlfriend. Although the new girlfriend was different, I couldn't stop thinking about Eun Na once in a while, I end up breaking up with the new girl.
We're booked a mini concert and it was the day to perform. We're all getting ready to go on stage when I peeked out to the crowd, only to notice that she's sitting up front on the seats. I didn't want to think much because I didn't want her presence to ruin the atmosphere. We're finally performing on stage when I see her smiling. It's been a long time since I've seen that smile. It hurts me to know that we're not together and it brings me memories that we used to loved each other so much. In one part of the concert, we're singing 'Voice Message' it's a song I wrote when we broke up. I didn't think she'll ever get to listen to it and now she does.
"Chyea, neon seulpeun mellodeurama sog juingongigil wonhae
Geuraebwassja urin an dwae neon gasigjeogiya da ppeonhae
Dareun namjaneuli neol wirohago kkeuleoanneungeol
Sangsanghal ttaemyeon yeoggyeowo jello useum naneungeol
Maeil nan sum gappeun sseuldeeobsneun datumdeule
Mujogeonjeogin majchumdo jichyeo neon geumankeum
Igijeogingeol I'm all good without you girl
Deogbune deoreobgedo byeonhaebeorin gieog
You are erased in tattoo ..."
"You want to be the main character in a sad melodrama
But deep down, we're lost, you're hypocritical is so clear
Other men are embracing you
Imagining it disgust me, it makes me laugh
Everyday I'm breathless of these arguments
I'm tired of these unconditional standards
You're so selfish, I'm all good without you girl
Thanks to you, my memories have turned dirty
You are erased in tattoo ..."
(Music Fading)
Eun Na: Everything happen for a reason. I must be that reason why you're in pain. If only you listen, if only you took a chance like you said to listen ... you'll know why. All I could say now is I really miss you and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.
She didn't stay for a long time. After the song was done and we went to prepare for the next performance, when we came back she was gone. She left without saying anything. In my heart, it feels like I won't be seeing her afterall.
After the concert, I walked outside to get inside the van, I noticed that it was raining again. It seems more gloomy more than other days. It must be because of everything that happen. I thought to myself that I must missed her. I loved her so much yet I hate her at the same time. I didn't know what was going through my mind.
A few days later, I was walking to the same coffee shop when I see Eun Na's man with another girl. I couldn't help but confront him. I wanted to hit him because he left her for another woman. I calmed down after hearing the explanation. Eun Na and him wasn't dating, she was helping him with his wedding photos with his bride. He was going to announce the wedding between the two but the rumors of Eun Na and him went out. He didn't know what to do but secretly met up with her to plan everything out. Now that they're married, Eun Na wasn't around much.
I didn't know what I've done. The woman I loved didn't lie about anything. She was telling me the truth all along. I was the one who pushed her away. She didn't deserved to be like that but she did. I should of listen and understand her more. She was the only one who was beside me, she was the one who listened and love me. Why did I let her leave and tell her never to come back?
I hate myself.
"Eun Na. Oppa's sorry about everything. When I told you I loved you, I meant it. Will you give me another chance to fix everything?" ~ Bang
Those were the last words I message her but never got a reply.
Eun Na: I forgive you. I never was mad nor sad about our relationship. I knew you loved me but it's for the best of us. I never wanted us to end like this but I knew I needed to. You were everything to the world and society. I'll just get in your way of living. Always know that I believed you once and I'll keep on believing that we'll see each other someday and I'll promise to stay. When the rain comes, remember I'll be next to you.
Yongguk: If I have the chance to go back, I'll change my attitude. I'll change everything so I wouldn't have to lose her. I guess it was our destiny to meet and leave each other. Eun Na, I want you to know I still love you. I hope the sound of rain will send you these message, "I miss you."
Inspiration from "Rain Sound" by B.A.P
Artwork | Story : kraziieee
One Shot Story
Rain Sound Sequel : Happiness Was You : Kim Himchan : Coming Soon
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