I’m sitting in here again, beside the window, at our favourite spot in the class. Like usually i’m the first who touch down the class, but everything feel different because, you’re not sitting next to me anymore.

You’re not beside me anymore.

You left me.

It’s been one month you left me, one month you left LA and went back to Korea.

I still remember when you being weird, you always come to class late, or even skip the class without telling me why. You become lazy didn’t do the homework, make a paper or presentation. It’s weird because i know, become a Veterinary is your dream, but everything clear when i know your father told you to take care your famiy business in Korea.

You know, at the night when you told me that you want leave everything in here and go to Korea again, my world suddenly crashed, i cry, cry, cry, my mind shouted, how can i life without you, even we’re just meet in 2 month, but you’re important to me, you’re really mean to me Tiff!!!

After that you skip the class again, but you want to meet me. So we met at our favourite cafe. You explain everything, why you want to leave, you keep telling sorry and sorry. But i can’t do anything, my heart just cried silently and give you a hug.

Then we recollecting our memories, how we first met, how we at class, how our sweet moments and etc. We laugh, but we both know, we cry silently.

You know, in that time, i just want to hug you, never want to break it, i only wish you stay, but my tounge was tied, i couldn’t say anything. I just gave you stare, sad, worry, anger and hopeless stare. But i know you understand without i describe it into a word, because you suddenly reach my hand caressed it gently and say “ Don’t worry”, then you give me reassure smile and kiss my cheek.

Right after we talk in cafe, i call you, but you didn’t asnwer,  i send text to you, but you didn’t reply, so i check your Twitter, then i found you already fly to Korea, and you left me without saying goodbye.

Thanks dear, you make me cry endlessly...

I closed my eyes feel the wind, hope it can make me calm but i can’t.

But damn it, it’s only make me more missing you!

I miss you when we eat together, then we feeding each other, and as usually you eat like a child and i used to wipe your lips.

I miss when you give me your back hug, rested your chin on my shoulder and humming your favourite song.

I miss when you babbling, telling me how is your day, when i just listen and stare at your flawless face.

I miss when you clinging at me and resting your head into my shoulder.

I miss when you hug me so tight and bury your face into my crook.

I miss when you suddenly stood up and kiss my cheek.

I miss when you whinning at me.

I miss when you called me baby.

I miss when you held my hand.

I miss your presence.

I miss your scent.

I miss you,

I miss you,

I miss everything about you!!!!

I miss you Pany!!!!!!!!

And i regret, i regret why i haven’t tell you about my feelings, about how much i like your company, about how much i want always beside you, about how much i love you. I regret it Pany, i regret it!!!

I’m not the person who easy get along with new person, but you, you melting me!

I’m not the person who easy to believe new person, but you, i believe you!

I’m not the person who easy to fall in love, but you, you make me fall to you from the first Pany-ah!

Why?!!!

Why, why you left me so quick?

Why?!!!

Why?!!!

Why?!!!

Why?!!!

And now my tears always come endlessly when i think about you..

***

“I know you thinking again about your Tiffany.”

“Huh?”

“Look, your eyes are red, i know you cry again.”

Rather than reply Jessica, Taeyeon choose to diverted her eyes to the window.

“As always.” Jessica walk closer and cupped her face

“Look Tae, she already left, why you keep sad about her? She didn’t contact you, why you keep thinking about her? and why you keep loving her, if somebody already loving you in here?”

“Who?” Taeyeon said coldly.

“Me.” Then Jessica kissed her with a gently kiss and hug her.

“So forget her, and open your heart for me, i’ll always by your side and always loving you” She added as whispered to Taeyeon ears.

But Taeyeon didn’t move, didn’t answer nor respond it. Because she knew, everyting she do, forever,  her heart, mind and soul still belong to her, belong to Tiffany Hwang.

It's hurt..

My feelings..

She left me..

WHY?!!!!!!!