(Day 488)

I was sitting down there, looking stared at your face and smiling. I was so happy. I took my eyes down and our hands were hold, my hand on your hand, letting me know everything would be fine; I looked again at your face,  the wind was your face and your hair in a curious way, as curious as ourselves.

 

This is the story about a boy that meets another boy.

This boy, Zhang Yixing from Changsa, Hunan in China; who grew up convinced that he would never be totally happy until the day he meets "the right girl" or "the right guy", this judgment was based on the early exposition to sad British music; due to the British influence, he considered the possibility of having a couple of his same genre.

The other one, Oh Sehun from Seoul in Korea; didn't think the same way since his parents got separated. His ual orientarion to men was clearly notorious even when he was a child. He only loved two things in life: his silky blonde hair and how easy was to cut it without any feeling. 

Yixing met Sehun on may 25th and immediatly found out that he was "the right guy", exactly what he was looking for: happiness. 

This is the story about a boy that meets another boy, but eventually you have to know that this is not a love story.

(Day 299)

—I'm desesperate, I don't know what to do, maybe... I didn't get it right, right?— I asked without thinking to JongDae, he looked at me with a sadly face, I didn't understand why. Was it so embarrased?

He apologized and took his cellphone, dialed some number and babbled something, I stared at him and walked into the kitchen and I immediately lost consciousness.  They could have spent several minutes or perhaps hours, I don't know. I just know that when I reacted, I had a plate in my hand and a familiar voice was calling my name.

—Yixing— Automatically I stopped and I turned my head to the voice, it was Wu Fan.

—Are you okay?— Clearly I'm not, I thought, but said nothing.

—First, put that dish away and come here.— He told me in a neutral tone of voice, so I obeyed him putting the plate in its place and then I looked around me. How I did this mess?, but it doesn't matter, Wu Fan was there to talk to me and I wanted to express my feelings.

Wu Fan came with Tao, so they were in front of me: JondDae, Wu Fan and Tao. I started to get a little scare. How bad I was that my friends were in front of me trying to convince me about something? I was really bad.

—Take this—  Tao said, giving to me a vase with a colorless liquid.

— What is it?— JongDae asked.

—Vodka— Tao replied looking at him sideways.

I took the vase and drank that liquid which made my throat feel terrible, I felt that it was tearing where it was going through, but the feeling after that was comforting.

— What has happened?— Wu Fan asked to me.

I wanted to told him and I was supposed to do it, so I started telling them everything that happened that day.

—Well… Everything was going on wonderfully, you understand? We had gone to the movies,  to the ice-cream saloon, we ate and kissed each other, we did... Ehmmm well, you know, everthing... EVERYTHING was perfect.

—So then? What happened?­­ — Tao asked looking at me.

—He said: "I think we should stop seeing each other"

—Just like that?— JongDae asked surprised.

—Yes, just like that— I replied sadly.

—Did he tell you why?— Wu Fan asked.

—He said: "What are we doing? Does it seem normal?" and I replied that I didn't care about being normal, that I was happy and that was enough... Then he said: "Are you happy? How is it possible? If we are always fighting."

—Mayhap he was bored— Tao said.

—I don't think so— JongDae commented—Then... What has happened?

—Well... "Why are you surprised? we have been like this for months... We are like Sid y Nancy" he told me, It was a little confused, you know... and well I said I didn't think the same way, I don't know if you guys know about it but Sid stabbed Nancy with a kitchen knife and obviously it was totally insane that he though I was going to stab him. He said that I was not Sid, he was Sid and I was Nancy so he was stabbing me, he was hurting me. So...  I stood up from where we were eating and walked away, he took my arm and... He said "Lay, don't go. You're still my best friend".

—¡OUCH!— JongDae whispered.

—You have broken up in relationships before, right?— Wu Fan asked.

I assented.

—So, people have broken up with you before, right? — He asked again. I didn't know where he wanted to go so I assented again.

—What's different about this time? — Wu Fan insisted.

—That it's about Sehun. — I replied sadly.

I'm sure about it, Sehun has made on me something anyone else did. Why they can't understand that?

—You need to meet people, to someone different, you should know that you are one of the best persons I know... — JongDae said.

— You know?  I guess this is how people say: "The sea is full of fishes" — Tao said.

— No! You're lying, you're not right! — I stared at them while silence was coming into the room and bravery I said: “I DIDN'T WANT TO BREAK UP”. I definitely didn't, that's right. I want him back, I want him to be with me again, I want him to love me and hug me just like I do to him. Is it that hard? I don't think so if he had already showed me before that he loved me. What was hard about being back?