“Dongsaeng-ah, where’s Jonginnie?” Hyoyeon questioned as she sipped from her champagne flute. You were asking that question yourself as you looked around the ballroom, eyes searching through the crowd of suits and dresses. Such a formal occasion yet such a close friend was absent. But of course you knew why he wouldn’t be here; it was your wedding. Of course he wouldn’t want to see you promise yourself to someone else. He still wanted to hold onto that shred of hope that you still loved him, but your heart already belonged to Junsung. It was hard for the boy who used to make your heart beat a million times faster to accept the fact that he was too late, and you knew he tried to cover up his pain on and off camera. You felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist and tug you out of your thoughts.

                “I see you’ve found my lovely new wife for me, Hyoyeon noona,” your husband beamed as he pecked your cheek affectionately. You smiled back, turning around in his arms to return the favor onto his lips. You loved Junsung. He completed you in so many ways Jongin couldn’t. No matter how many times that little voice in your head told you that you still loved Jongin, Junsung’s sweet eye smile would pop into your brain, reminding you of who you were to be married to.

                You met Junsung at a local coffee shop, apologizing profusely as your morning latte splatter painted his white button down shirt. From there it was casual flirting, the exchange of numbers, and then a first date. A walk in the park, a picnic under the stars, and a first kiss confirmed that a relationship was on the rise. Jongin continued to disappear from your brain, Junsung making his mark when he asked you to be your girlfriend. As time went by, you waited for your boyfriend to propose. And propose he did, and although it may sound boring, he remembered every detail of your first date. You both reenacted that first date, only the second time, you ended it with a ring on your finger. Then Jongin came back and with him was his attempt to bring your feelings back. By the time of the café confrontation, you were 99.9 percent sure those feelings were gone. But that one percent pulled through as you spent the night crying your eyes out alone at what could’ve been. When Junsung came home to you in the morning, you threw yourself back into loving your fiancé.

                Now here you were, married to the love of your life.

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                Six months into the marriage, and you were pregnant with your first child. Junsung was overjoyed finding out you were carrying his baby, literally shouting it out of every one of your condo’s windows, as if anyone could hear him. And the neighbors did because they banged on your door, wondering what the hell was all the ruckus. After the excited father-to-be told them the news, they let out a quick “Aish” before congratulating the both of you.

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                Now seven months pregnant, you wandered down the streets of Seoul, searching for the perfect first anniversary gift for your husband. Said husband was working in the office today, making sure to call you every once in a while to check up on you. As you turned the corner, your stomach—not the baby—began to churn when you recognized the familiar route. You heard the familiar screams and squeals of fangirls crowding outside of the SM Entertainment building, expecting to see Super Junior exiting since they were busy promoting their new album.

                But instead, of course any higher power put EXO in front of you. Not all of EXO, just the band member that had once meant the world to you. You swallowed loudly when his eyes met yours, the light fading even more when he saw your stomach. You urged your feet to walk away, but they stayed glued to the ground as you watched Jongin tilt his head to his left, prodding you to follow him to the back of the SM building. Again your feet disobeyed you as they began to follow him, luckily unnoticed by the fans. Jongin’s back was facing you, hands stuffed in his pockets when you walked in.

                He took a deep breath before turning around, plastering a smile on his face. “Hi, _____. How are you?”

                “I’ve been good,” you hummed, rubbing your tummy like it was a nervous habit.

                “Look at you,” he praised. “I see you’ve finally got that wedding band on your finger.” You nodded happily. “Looks like you got yourself something else there, too.”

                You smiled down at your stomach, still in awe that a life was growing inside of you.

                “How many months along?”

                “Seven.”

                …

                “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to the wedding,” he blurted out into the silence. “I just know…it would’ve broken me to see you doing the right thing by being with someone else.”

                “Well, thank you. I wished you could’ve come though. It would’ve been nice to see all twelve members there…”

                “Do you love him?” he looked up at you hopefully.

                “Yes,” you replied fondly. “Very much so.”

                “Good,” he nodded to himself, “as long as you’re happy.”

                “Jongin, I have a question. Could we…ever be friends again? Will you ever be okay again?”

                He lightly scoffed. “When was I not okay?”

                “When I chose Junsung over you.”

                “Don’t tell me to be okay after what I’ve been through. I lost the love of my life to someone who she claims to be the love of her own life,” he sighed, calming himself down. “Sometimes I stay up late and ask myself why we can’t be together. And now, for seven months, there’s one reason! Two, I’m an idol, and three,” he deflated. “You don’t love me anymore.”

                “I’m sorry, Jongin, I should probably go. It’s my anniversary and he’s waiting for me,” you felt bad for practically rubbing that part in his face, constantly reminding him that you weren’t on the market anymore. “It was…nice seeing you again.”

                You began to walk away, not wanting anything to escalate, before you heard him call your name.

                “Yes, Jongin?”

                “Please be happy.” A single tear rolled down his cheek as he watched you smile, rubbing your tummy.

                “I am.”