You remembered watching him as a fellow trainee, enchanted by his dancing, the way he graced the stage. With his presence, his dancing, his body, his smirk: it all lit up the stage – and your heart. You remember falling in love with him: Kim Jongin, one of the most hardworking – and popular – trainees. Even if you felt lucky that he accepted you as a friend, you knew he would never accept you as more than that. So, in order to rid yourself of the heartache, given the fact that he would most likely leave you behind to debut before you, you became a stylist for EXO. And even during his first showcase, you cried watching his dreams come true, dreams that you abandoned to pursue an easier career. It wasn’t just because it was easier; it was a passion or hobby that you liked better, being a stylist. Luckily, you still kept in touch with Jongin, talking every now and then backstage.

 

It was just another day after another win for their new song, “Growl.” And just like during his first showcase, you cried, bringing Jongin into your arms when he left the stage, smiling like a little kid who just bought the entire candy shop. Since their manager had allowed them to go about and do whatever they want (giving them a well-deserved break for their hard work), Jongin decided to spend it with you. Boy did that make your heart beat faster. But it wouldn’t last long.

 

“I’m serious; did you see that one fan? She was just screaming my name like it was all she knew!” Jongin waved his arms in the air for emphasis as you both walked towards your favorite café. “You’d think I’d be flattered, but I’m actually kinda terrified.”

 

“You shouldn’t be, Jongin, they love you!” you laughed along with him, thanking him as he held the door open for you.

 

“One chocolate bubble tea and taro bubble tea for her, please,” Jongin ordered at the counter. 

 

“No, let me pay,” you smiled, taking out your wallet. “My treat; you deserve it for winning so many times.”

 

All he could do was smile, and you thanked the gods for his twinkling eyes that looked back into yours. Oh, what you would give to see those eyes twinkle because of you every day.

 

You both sat down with your bubble teas, stopping to check your phones and creating an awkward silence.

 

“So, how’ve you been?”

 

“I’ve been good. Busy, actually.”

 

“Busy? Really? I didn’t know stylists would have such a hectic life. Thank you very much, stylist noona,” Jongin bowed his head respectively, teasing you. 

 

You giggled. “I’m not your noona!”

 

“I know! I was just kidding. It wouldn’t matter anyway. You’d still be beautiful to me,” he leaned over to tuck your hair behind your ear. You blushed, but your mind kept telling you this wasn’t supposed to be happening.

 

“Jongin…” you murmured.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“S-something makes me wonder why you did that.”

 

“Am I not allowed to do that to my favorite person in the world?”

 

“You’re just saying that because I’ve always been your friend ever since we were trainees.”

 

Jongin set himself leaning on his forearms. This was serious now.

 

“And sometimes I wish you never quit to be a stylist. I wish you were still with me.”

 

“Everyone knows I’d just be broken because we all know they would’ve picked you first any day.”

 

He frowned. “Don’t say that.”

 

“You know it’s true.” You stared right back at him, all seriousness mirroring his. 

 

“I wish you could be onstage with me. You used to light it like no one else.”

 

Wow, mind reader much?

 

“I’ve always wanted to be with you during the finale for SMTOWN Live, even if we’re just holding hands, singing along. Even if the fans are booing us because they get jealous of their oppa.” He pointed to himself, flipping his hair playfully. You only smiled softly.

 

He stared at you with hopeful eyes as you continued to drink your bubble tea, eyes darting around to find anything to look at besides the man in front of you.

 

“Tell me you feel it too.”

 

“What?” You abruptly stood up. “Jongin, I have to get going. It was nice seeing you, but I’ve got a busy day tomorrow deciding what color Sehun’s hair should be or what you’ll be wearing.”

 

“Don’t make excuses to avoid the subject, _____,” Jongin stood up, following you after leaving a tip.

 

You rubbed your arms as the Seoul night was feeling chilly, only to find the man you had been in love with for 6 years draping his jacket around your shoulders. He held onto your shoulders as you turned your head to the side.

 

“Why are you doing this now, Jongin?” You muttered.

 

“Why is it that I never knew how much I love you?” He countered.

 

You turned around, whipping his hands off of you. “No, Jongin! You can’t do this now! It’s too late, and you, you’re an idol now. You can’t date!”

 

“So? We wouldn’t have to tell anyone!”

 

“Jongin,” your trembling hands reached inside your purse, taking out a ring. “I’m engaged.”

 

His eyes widened, looking at you in disbelief. “You? You now? Now? Why?” 

 

You teared up as he sputtered, not wanting to believe what you just told him. “I know I’m young, but I love him and he loves me. He proposed so I took it. Besides, my parents told me it’s about time I get my life going.”

 

“You got your life going when you became a trainee –“

 

“Yeah, only to be stuck as an idol for a few more years after that. Jongin, my parents never accepted that. They only allowed me to be a trainee to prove a point, to prove it’d be hard making it as an idol. I’d be fine just being a stylist. But I have to leave now. I’ve already had a couple job offers, even at my fiancé’s company.”

 

Fiancé’s company? That angered him. “Company? Oh great. I knew it. You only married him for the money and power. Right?”

 

“Jongin, don’t yell, please. People are staring,” you replied calmly. “This week is my last week. I’ve already given my two weeks’ notice. Please…”

 

“Please what?” He growled.

 

“Leave me alone until then.”

 

“I don’t think I can do that.”

 

“Why –“all you felt were the lips you longed to feel ever since sitting next to him as he practiced vocal exercises to the infamous cloud room. He cupped your face in his hands to hold you steady as he kissed you, afraid you might try to break away when you realized this was technically cheating. You were relieved when he pulled away to allow you some air.

 

“Jongin,” you gasped. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

 

“It was my last chance,” he panted. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

 

“No, that was wrong,” you began walking away, but of course he’d be following your trail. “Jongin, I have to go. He’s waiting for me.”

 

“Please,” he grasped your arm, forcing you to look at him, “don’t forget me. Give us another chance. Wait for me.”

 

“I-I can’t,” you muttered. “I waited six years already.”