“You guys are leaving…” He said as we were eating our last meal together

 

“I know…” I replied. I wish time would go slower; I don’t want to leave, there are so many things we haven’t done, so many things we didn’t want to let go of. Silence fell upon us, feeling the sadness sink deeper as seconds passed.

 

“Did you guys enjoy it here?” He asked

 

My friend and I nodded simultaneously with smiles tinting our sadness. Because of you and everyone who was there for us; more than ever. 

 

Finishing up our meal, we called for dessert. I ordered one of my favourite desserts; green tea ice cream. I took my first bite, then my second; unlike the usual sweet sensation it gave me, it tasted plain like ice. I couldn’t tell if it was because the restaurant served me a bad one or if it was because nothing could possibly taste sweet at the moment. Regardless, I finished the ice cream simply because it was the last time.

 

“Can I get the bill please?” I heard him ask a waitress. This was it. After this, we will be on our way to the airport. We will be saying our goodbyes, the thing I dread most.

 

“Thank you for the food” I frowned, knowing it was the last time I could thank them for a meal. My expression must have been obvious.

 

“Don’t be sad, there’s always next time!”

 

Next time.

 

‘Next time’ is a wide variety of time. It could be a year from now, five years from now, ten years from now. Maybe ‘next time’ can even mean ‘in our next life’; no one can really know when ‘next time’ is.

 

We got out of our seats and made our way to the car, the car ride was silent except for the conversations made by the male and female in the front seats in attempt to lift the atmosphere. The airport was no more than an hour away which meant we only had an hour left with each other until ‘next time’.

 

“Are we going to the airport now?” I asked even though I already knew the answer. But even so, I had still hoped for it to not be true, for someone to say ‘no’.

 

“Yeah…”

 

I silently sighed in the back seat. These past two and a half weeks spent here has really brought me so much happiness and so much love; I reunited with my loved ones, met many new amazing people, and experienced a different lifestyle.

 

Looking out the window, I remembered everything that has happened during my stay; the smiles, the laughs, the hugs, everything. I held back my tears; it’s going to be a while until I’m able to experience this again, until I’m able to see them again.

 

“How far are we away from the airport?” my friend reluctantly asked as she didn’t want to leave either.

 

“Um… About 30 minutes?” It went silent after the reply. Only 30 minutes left, tears began to form in my eyes, looking out the window once again I wiped the tears away; hold it in for another 30 minutes.

 

We’re going to be so far away from each other, but ironically; it’s the distance that keeps us close. If it wasn’t for the distance between us, we would take the time we spent together for granted. It’s a bitter-sweet reality. People say you don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it, but isn’t it also true that you don’t know what you’ve lost until you have it? That’s what I’m feeling; the feeling of knowing I have to go back to my regular boring life without them and how much I’m going to miss while I’m gone again.

 

The thirty minutes we had left passed too quickly as we were already pulling up at the airport without me realizing. As the car came to a complete stop, I reluctantly unbuckled my seatbelt for the last time as tears started spilling. I stepped out of the car and grabbed my luggage, the time I’ve been dreading has come. The tears started becoming heavier.

 

“Well girls…” He paused staring at us. It was time to say goodbye to the last people we had left to say goodbye to.  I went and hugged the first of the two not being able to utter a word. I then let go and faced the last person I had to say goodbye to. I hugged him tightly as he did as well, my cry became louder; I was just so sad.

 

“Thank you...” I sobbed into his shoulder thanking him for everything he has done for us all this while.

 

“Come back soon, okay?” He told me lovingly; I want to, I really want to. I nodded my head still holding onto him. I continued to cry in his arms as he hugged me tighter and placed a kiss on the side of my head, in response I placed a kiss on his shoulder despite his sweatiness.

 

 “I’m going to miss you so much…” He whispered loud enough for me to hear. I could hear the sincerity in his voice; I’m really going to miss you a lot too.

 

“Me too…” I responded. I really am; more than ever.

 

This sadness is indescribable, it’s like my heart fell to the deepest part of the ocean and absorbed water like a sponge making it heavier and heavier as it continued to sink into an ocean of agony.

 

As much as I didn’t want to; I broke the hug to gather my belongings together. As soon as everything was gathered together, I turned around to face them again; staring sadly at them for the last time before we see each other again.

 

“Bye…” I choked going in for another hug.

 

“Bye…” He hugged back.

 

Even though I know we’re going to be able to see each other again someday; I can’t help but be saddened by today’s separation. My breathing felt so heavy, I felt so out of breath but yet I wanted to scream out so loud, I’m going crazy.

 

Letting go once again, we grabbed our suitcases and prepared to leave. My friend walked ahead slowly first; I followed soon after, turning back slowly. As soon as I turned my back, my whole body felt heavy, I couldn’t stop crying. I took one heavy step before I felt someone lightly grab onto my right hand, I looked up to see my friend still walking and then turned around to meet his sad eyes. We stared sadly at each other for a few seconds before he pulled me in for one quick last kiss on the cheek. My heart was tearing apart as he let go of my hand.

 

“Take care, okay?” He quietly said.

 

“Mm, you too.” I replied nodding, trying to smile.

 

We waved to each other for the last time before I turned away. Without letting a second pass, I turned my head to see him again; his back was turned and was walking back to the car.

 

Because I’m sad, I cry.

 

He opened his car door and gave me a quick glance before entering.

 

Because I love them, I cry.

 

He started his engine and changed his gear.

 

Because I’m going to miss them, I cry.

 

Then I watched him drive away, getting further and further.

 

Because they’re gone, I cry.

 

They’re gone.

 

They’re gone.

 

They’re… gone.

 

Leaving them was like leaving a part of me behind. I will never be able to forget the pain of today where I had left some of the most important people in my life behind again. But I will also never forget the memories everyone has brought me, I will be forever grateful. As the hand on the clock continues to move, I will spend every hour, minute, and second missing them immensely.

 

Unable to stop my tears, I soullessly dragged my body into the airport not daring to look back at the empty space we once stood.

 

Until next time, my loved ones.