THE WORLD ONLY SHE KNOWS

                He could still remember it. Even though a long time had passed since their first meeting, the memory was still so fresh in his mind that it seemed like it was only yesterday when he had met her. She was a beautiful girl; both inside and out. Her voice was son entrancing that he found himself listening to her as she spoke; never wanting her to stop. He can still remember how people just walked pass her, not even sparing another glance.

“Do not mind those people; they are the type who only looks ahead, who only sees what they want to see and not what they should,” he remember her saying. She said it with a smile on her face that he felt guilty. He had thought that way too, before. Especially if he was to be completely honest, the only reason he had approached her in the first place was before she looked good.

“Actually, I think it’s a bit sad, as well, how people don’t actually ‘see,’ I mean. After all, doesn’t it mean they’re actually missing out on life and how it should be? I mean, sure they’re alive and all, but I actually don’t think they’re living, do you know what I mean? Basically, they only exist,” it was an interesting way to look on things. He, after all, never really cared about how people lived, or looked. For him, since they were all going to end up dead, one way or another, why should they know each other?

“Do you seriously believe people should live their lives interconnected? It doesn’t really matter anyway, does it? I mean, we’re all gonna end up dead so why bother getting to know people?” he remember asking her and receiving a slightly awkward slap on his head. He doesn’t say anything after that and waits for the girl to reason herself out. A part of him wanted the girl to laugh, but of course, she didn’t and just kept her gaze straight and far.

He was about to lose his patience when the girl spoke again. “If meeting other people was such a waste of time, nothing would be made. The music, movies, shows and art we enjoy now wouldn’t be created. Even the math we dread won’t be created. Especially you, if you parents never met, you will never exist and if their parents never met, they won’t exist. The list goes on and on. Meeting people is a part of life. You approached me, sat on the chair next to me and introduced yourself; we met. If you never approached me, we never would have met, am I right?” she was.

                It was already half past twelve so he decided to get the two of them some proper food. When he was walking back towards the table they shared, the girl asked him a question which caught him off-guard. “Do you believe in love?” he didn’t, actually. He believed in attraction but not so much on love. “My mom said that in love, you should never say sorry; meaning, you should never do wrong. I don’t really believe in love myself, but I do believe that everyone is destined to be together with someone forever. What about you?”

He shook his head. “I don’t believe in love,”

The girl just nods and they begin eating in silence. “How do you see the world?” he remembers being shocked about the question. He was the one who asked, true, but the origin of the said question was someone unfamiliar with him. Maybe it was just his desire to hear the girl’s voice. Maybe it was just because the silence was killing him. Or maybe, slightly maybe, he was curious how the girl saw the world and why she had a different perspective on it than most.

“How do I see the world? Well, I guess, black and white. I don’t see the world as a place, I think of it as a different dimension. I mean, what if, just what if, this life we were living was a dream and that when we die; we actually wake up and see that we are actually in a different place having a different personality and that we’re living different lives? It’s just a thought, but what if, right?”

“You didn’t really answer the question,”

The girl sighed. “Trash, I see the world as one big dirty trash can. On top of it, you’d see nothing but trash, dirty, useless trash. You won’t be able to get anything from it. Most people would give up digging through trash and just leave. However, if you continue digging, you’ll see treasure underneath all that trash. You’ll see the good hidden by all that trash. Just like how humans and the world; what we see outside isn’t exactly what is on the inside. Some may look like trash but actually hide gold. Some may look like gold but are actually trash while some are simply trash,”

                It was nearing closing time when he found out about her secret. “It’s almost closing time. We should go. I’ll walk you home,” he offered her but was rejected. “It’s dangerous for you to go home by yourself, especially this late. I’ll walk you home. I won’t do anything,” it was the truth. He genuinely worried over the girl and well, he wanted to hear her voice more rather than do anything physical.

She shook her head and just smiled. “What’s your name?”

“Kim Jongin,”

“Jongin, I do not have a home. I do not have someplace to go to. You should go home. As you said, it’s late and I believe it’ll be harder for you to go home. Please be careful on your way and I hope you do not forget the words I’ve shared with you,” he sees her tapping the walls and the floor, apparently looking for something. He couldn’t hide his shock when he saw what it was; a crane.

The girl doesn’t say anything more and simply leaves. Jongin stands there, amazed and ashamed. Amazed because a girl like her; a girl who couldn’t see saw life better than he did; knew life better than he did. He was ashamed because he never appreciated life like she did. He overlooked the simplest of things and didn’t care about life. But most especially, he felt enlightened.

                During the days that followed, he always came back to the cafe, hoping to see her. He didn’t, of course. And a month after, he read on the newspaper that she had been a victim of a hit-and-run accident. The article was merely a paragraph long and the picture about 2 inches. The size of the article seemed too small compared to the scale of the damage but people didn’t really care. After all, she’ll just be placed on the long list of hit-and-run victims. Just another name on the hundreds, thousands, maybe even millions of victims and still nobody would care. But Jongin did and Jongin will always.