i recommend you guys to listen to this while reading: Painkiller (<--Please click)

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I opened my window wide enough for some snow flakes to enter my room. The empty gray sky reminded me of myself, empty and gray. The cold breeze touching my face reminds me of how cold my nights were when he left. I watched as the snowflakes melted into water and somehow it looked like the tears I cried just a night ago. I tried walking to my door but it felt like the whole weight was being pressed on me, every step i made made me feel I'm leaving something behind.

Just then I saw that very familiar picture frame bearing our beautiful memory together. I walked to it with slow phase as if I didn't even want to get there. I touched it the genlest way I can, I stared at the lovely couple in front of me, so happy and carefree. My heart suddenly dropped as fragments of memories came rushing to my brain that I felt my head would burst anytime soon.

"Joohyun it is. What a beautiful name" He said looking deep into my eyes

"W-who are you?" I asked him

 "Some people say that a beautiful name doesn't usually belong to a beautiful person"

"What are you trying to say now? Mr. I-don't-know-your-name"

Instead of answering he smiled and whispered "But your case is different, for your beautiful name goes really well with the beautiful face of yours"

"Joohyun! Wait" I was irritated by him that I want to tie him upside down but when I turned around to scold him I was surprised to see what he had in his hands for me

"Baby's breath?" I asked surprised

"Yes, It's your favorite, right?"

"B--but how did you know, Luhan? I didn't tell you anything about this." I was bewildered yet shocked by him.

"I have my ways." he said as he kissed my cheek which surprised me even more.

"Joohyun, I love you"

"Joohyun, I miss you"

"Joohyun, when will I see you again?"

"Joohyun, you made my life more lively and exciting."

"Joohyun, you colored my world just like how a painter would paint his artworks"

"Joohyun, I love how your lips would turn upward when you see me from afar."

"Joohyun you complete me"

"Joohyun I love everything about you"

"Joohyun"

"Joohyun"

"Joohyun"

"Joohyun"

"Joohyun"

I can still feel his soft lips against mine, how he would whisper loving words to my ears. How he would look at me with his lovely eyes, and how he would hold me close to his bosoms. Everything felt like yesterday.

And I felt as if my blood had drained and went all up to my head. I felt like I swallowed a big stone that I was choking every second I remembered him.

His smiles made my heart hurt even more. His voice lingered in my head though he was long gone. I felt like going insane just by remembering Luhan's face.

Then suddenly I felt a piercing pain on my cheeks and a loud bang that sounded like a glass being broken into pieces. That's when I realized what I did.

I--I threw that picture frame I've been treasuring all of these torturing years to million pieces of broken memories.

I didn't know why I did that, maybe I was insane-- and still i am.

Though my cheek wass bleeding because of the piece of glass that made its way to my flesh the pain I am feeling inside was way stronger that I felt like dying that very moment.

I tried picking up each piece though I know I couldn't fix it anymore, each picee wounded my fingers  just like how he wounded me when he left.

Finally, I gave up because the pain I felt as I was looking at the destroyed memory was unbearable.

I walked to my door feeling so numb, opening it without any effort.

My blood sticked to the doorknob as if it really belonged there.

The cold winter breeze didn't feet as cold as I was feeling inside.

Every step felt  like years to me, then I came to a halt. Looking directly to a drug store.

I didn't even know why I came there, was it to buy medicine for my physical wounds or to get a better medicine for my wounded heart.

I pushed the glass door and made my way inside. The pharmacist looked at me weirdly as if I was a wild animal barging in inside her lair.

I asked for a particular medicine but I couldn't remember what it was. I was too pre-occupied to remember those little details.

As I stepped inside my room I abruptly smelled this familiar scent of him.  I can't help but to collapse from where I was standing and cry loudly as I can. I shouted my heart out. I screamed my lungs. I destroyed everything. I ruined everything in my room. The table where we used to have breakfast, lunch and dinner together, the piano I used to play to him whenever he asks me to, the closet where we used to put our things together and ------- the bed where we used to share the warm nights together as lovers for so many years.

I destroyed everything that reminds me of him---- everything but then I rushed to put things together just like how a doctor would try to revive a dying man in a hospital even though he knew he can't do anything anymore.

Then I cried again, dropping on the floor.

My heart felt like it was about to explode. I am hurting not just physically but emotionally.

Then the drug I bought earlier caught my eye. I walked to it, my body trembling with pain and agony slowly eating my whole existence.

I grabbed a hold of it without looking at the label and i let the tablets drop to my blood-filled hands.

I swallowed every bit of it. Every tablet seemed like a remedy to my pain. But I knew it wasn't

Then in a matter of seconds a flash of memories filled my messy brain.

I was looking at my white gown full of different designs all sorts of ribbons and laces, my heart suddenly flutters and my stomach was filled with butterflies, but that's not the reason why. Finally, I will be able to call him mine forever and I can be his forever. We will not be just lovers but a husband and wife

But while I was heading towards the church I saw a car accident from afar but I ignored it because it's my day.

But I suddenly felt goosebumps upon seeing the wrecked cars but I just took it for granted.

And all the while, the journey was filled with worry in my heart.

 I arrived at the venue, my heart started to flutter again and I forgot the scene.

But ----------- as soon as I looked at the window of the car I saw the people making a commotion.

I went out the car though I knew I wasn't allowed to---- not yet.

I asked my mom why they're making a fuss and she answered "your groom is still not here"

My world suddenly collapsed. I quickly rushed back inside the car and drove the car as quickly as I can and went back to the scene.

My train of thoughts was broken by the sudden burning pain I felt  in my chest and stomach, that I threw up.

I saw blood everywhere. It was from me. Then a horrifying scene came rushing to my head

I ran towards the wrecked cars and I was horrified to see whose car was it.

"Luhan! Luhan!" I called as loud as I can but no one answered--- he didn't answer.

I walked to him, I was even more horrified to see his lifeless body.

I held his lifeless body to my arms. His white tuxedo filled with his own blood., his handsome face filled with them too. His blood stained my white wedding gown all over but I didn't care. I tried waking him up but he won't open his eyes, he wouldn't even move his body. He's dead--- he's dead but I didn't want to believe it. We're going to get married and have children. No--- this is not happening!

"Luhan, please don't leave me! Please open your eyes! I need you!" I cried but I knew he won't comeback anymore.

I will never see him again. I will never hear his voice again. I will never feel his soft lips against mine. I will never feel his hugs again.

He left me without saying goodbye and the worst was he won't be coming back anymore.

I closed my eyes. I held that destroyed picture frame of us close to my heart.

"Maybe if I sleep forever. I will have a chance to see you again in my dreams and be with you again. Because in this lifetime. I know-----I know I will never have a chance to see you and be with you again. This pain can't be healed by anyone or anything ---even painkillers ----but only you, Luhan. only you."

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End

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So this is the end, I guess? A tragic love story, indeed..

i typed this on-the-spot so please pardon the wrong grammars and spellings :)

Thank you for reading!!!!! Hope you all liked it even though it's quite messy! Haha

Comments are all welcome!

And btw, I know my foreword doesn't make sense! hahahahahaha./

Sorry for that ;;;;;;