{fairest of them all}

{fairest of them all}

A fairy tale is, by definition, something that denotes of magical, idealized happiness. It is a story of bliss, of happily ever after’s.

There are many different kinds of fairy tales, spanning and shifting and shuffling from the many people that want their very own tale of magic and happiness.

Not every girl wishes for a fairy tale, but in this case- Choi Jinri definitely does.

Not a day goes by where Choi Jinri feels happy with herself.

Choi Jinri wishes she lived in a perfectly ideal life; she wishes for a life with mundane parents, an average education, and normal talents. She wishes for a completely ordinary life, filled with the most boring and flat line of events that she could live out with her peaceful, long, and everyday life.

This is her wish, her fairytale that she dreams and writes up in her mind, never to actually be written down and brought into this world in a physical form.

Choi Jinri will never get that fairytale.

This is not a fairytale with a prince that saves a damsel in distress, a beautifully idealistic romance, or any happily ever after’s.

This is a story of a small crush that turns into sincere love, a tale that serves as a reminder that things may not be what they seem, and a way to remember that one must seize the day and live life to its fullest before it’s too late.

This is Choi Jinri’s story.

This story has three key players, all of whom will never be the same after this story reaches the end.

Choi Jinri lives the completely ordinary life of someone with famous parents; she goes to school quietly, has only one really good friend named Jung Soojung, and never kicks up a fuss about anything, really.

She looks perfectly content in all aspects of her life.

No one else is the wiser.

Kim Jongin lives his life to the fullest- he makes sure of it. To seize the moment and to do whatever it is that must be done- that is what he’ll do.

Because to him, every instance is special.

With that in mind, that is how he lives life.

And how he will live life until the day he dies.

Jung Soojung is Choi Jinri’s best friend.

She’s the artsy one, the one that goes by the paintbrush, the one that has known Choi Jinri since she was just five years old.

Soojung is also the one that always knows much more than anyone is willing to give her credit for.

Choi Jinri, Kim Jongin, and Jung Soojung all have one thing in common, with that one thing being their very exclusive arts high school.

This is the start.

The perks of going to an art-focused high school is that the school made sure to keep the art students both happy and competitive about their work.

It is an environment that bleeds rivalry under the pretense of supporting one another. It’s true. that while friends are made and encouragement is done, when the monthly showcases arrive, it’s every artist for themselves to get their work on the wall.

Because art is not an extracurricular to the students that go here; instead, it is a way of life, a certain passion.

It is, Jongin supposes, an art school thing.

And with that thing in mind, Jongin walks towards the monthly art gallery exhibition for the sake of seeing his own work displayed.

The gallery is set up in a way that has sculptures, drawings, photographs, and paintings all organized into different sections in one huge auditorium. As luck would have it for Jongin, the section he cares about is at the furthest end of the auditorium.

That’s what he puts his blame on- the farness, of course.

Because Jongin doesn’t even make it past the first section.

Jongin strides through the auditorium with a goal in mind; he is halfway across the combined paintings and sculptures section with the intention of bypassing it all.

He’s not one for paintings and sculptures, with all of his attention being focused on photographs.

Jongin knows little about the different types of brushes and the oils and paints and blocks of marble; his art lies behind a camera lens, with the ability to capture a moment in an instant.

So he is not one to immerse himself in things not related to photography- and with this mindset, he moves to power walk past all sections until he sees the work of a camera.

But something catches his attention in passing, which is strange in itself.

It’s a painting, and a portrait at that. The colors are vivid and the face is one that jumps out at him. He would say it called out to him, if he were in a more poetic mood.

Jongin finds himself walking towards the work, inspecting it with a thoughtful hum.

“It’s a gorgeous painting,” Jongin finds himself saying out loud. It’s a personal opinion; the overall result of the painting is, by all of Jongin’s knowledge, a beautiful one. The careful brush and the quality of the paint coupled with the obvious skill of the painter made full use of the model, resulting in a stunning portrait.

But the skill level in itself is not why Jongin considers it gorgeous.

Because for every portrait, there must be a model.

And the model in this painting stuns with her red, kissable lips, pale skin, luscious hair, and a smile beyond compare. The eyes are definitely striking, with the orbs forming perfect little moon crescents.

Beautiful, indeed.

He stares a little longer at the painting, focusing solely on the smile he sees before him.

But the longer he stares, the more he feels a digging kind of sensation in his mind- like he is supposed to know who this is.

“You like it?” he hears a voice ask. “My best friend inspired it.” Jongin whirls around to see a girl standing besides him, also admiring the work. He rightfully assumes that this is the painter and he nods, going back to looking at the work of art.

“Yeah?” Jongin murmurs. He’s still looking at the painting. “It’s nice, kind of gives off a Snow White feel.”

Jongin knows this person as Jung Soojung; he hasn’t talked to her much, but he knows that she’s active in the arts. He doesn’t really know why he’s striking a conversation- but maybe it’s because he wants to know more about the painting that looks like it’s staring into his soul.

Soojung looks surprised, to say the least. She fights back a little smile and asks in the politest way possible, “How so?”

Jongin stays quiet, mulling over why he said so. It was more of a slip of the tongue, if anything. “It was the first fairytale princess to come to mind,” he sheepishly admits. But now that he has said it, he can’t get the related imagery out of mind.

Pale skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as dark as ebony.

Jongin feels like he’s looking at a princess- and he has the shame to actually blush at the thought.

Soojung hums thoughtfully at the small response she had been given. “Well, if you don’t mind me asking, what else do you think about the painting?”

Jongin looks at that bright smile and says the most instinctive thought he has. “She looks happy.”

Soojung can’t fight her smile this time.

And then Jongin hears a dry chuckle coming from the other side of him, with a new person making her own commentary. Why she does it, Jongin’s not sure. "The funny thing about paintings is that you never actually know what's going on in a painting, because in the end, it's all speculation."

Jongin blinks in confusion at the speaker because- wait a minute- her eyes are bright, with soft lips and pale skin and-

It clicks.

Oh. This is Soojung’s best friend. The muse for this painting.

No wonder the person in the painting looked familiar- he’s gone to school with her for years. Choi Jinri.

Now it makes sense.

But he has never seen her smile so openly and brightly, like in the painting, in all the years that he’s known her. He looks at the painting and then looks back at Choi Jinri; there’s disbelief written all over his face.

Jinri sighs at the look of disbelief before turning to look at her best friend. With a soft smile, Jinri says an affectionate, “But good work, Soojung.”

Soojung beams at the compliment. “Why thank you, Jinri.”

“It barely looks like me though,” Jinri teases airily, the underlying tone of playfulness barely noticeable to Jongin.

When Jinri teases Soojung, Jongin thinks he sees a hint of the brightness that Soojung has captured through paint.

“Hey, take that back! I painted you in perfect likeness!” Soojung complains, hands on her hips and mouth twisted into a scowl.

All Jinri gives a toothy little grin to her best friend, refusing to say another word; she moves to leave, but suddenly remembers Jongin’s existence. She blinks at him, surprised, as if she thought he had already gone.

So she gives a polite smile to Jongin, and then turns to leave. Within seconds, it was like she was never there in the first place.

Jongin can’t help but feel a little offset by the cold reaction. “What’s her problem?”

Soojung gives him a mysterious smile, only bothering to say a sentence that only serves to further Jongin’s confusion. “There’s always a story behind a painting if you’re willing to look deep enough.”

Jongin can tell that there’s a cryptic meaning behind her words and that she’s giving him a hint of sorts but- “I don’t get it.” He doesn’t get where she’s playing at, why she’s telling him in the first place. He’s not one to typically care.

“Neither does she,” Soojung says, simply and with a hint of exasperation.

But now Jongin is interested.

Jongin keeps that interest up until he manages to see Choi Jinri once more.

He finds himself at the school library, needing one last source for his critical analysis essay on the different styles of writing.

His mission is, simply put, to get in and out.

But of course, he is stopped once more; he already has the book in hand- but there Choi Jinri is, sitting at a table with a book propped open.

There is a concentrated look on her face, with her pursed lips and drawn eyebrows. If Jongin were to guess, he’d say that she even looks a little frustrated.

There is absolutely no hint to the bright smile that had been painted for all to see by Soojung. In fact, he has never seen that hint of a smile- hell, he didn’t even know Choi Jinri could even smile before he had seen that painting.

It has acted as an eye-opener, of sorts.

But even still, smiling or not, Jongin realizes one thing very quickly as he discreetly watches her; he takes a seat at the table across from Jinri’s own study table. With eyes trained to notice the little things, he can’t help but find that Jinri has something very special about her.

And it is that there’s a sort of timeless beauty to her, a type of beauty that is undeniable. Just by giving a once-over to her face, it’s obvious.

All Jongin can do is sit and stare at Jinri- who is doing nothing but just sitting there, quietly and peacefully.

She has a type of soft prettiness to her that begs to be displayed, to have songs written in her name, to fall in love with.

She is someone who inspires- and he, as an artist, is always looking to be inspired.

That is the thought that encourages him, that makes him stride across the library and pull up a chair next to Choi Jinri.

“Hi,” he whispers. It’s a library, after all.

He’s not surprised at the lackluster tone in which he receives a reply. “Hi.”

They would be enveloped in an awkward silence if they weren’t already in a quiet environment.

But Jongin has a reason for sitting next to her right now. He holds out a friendly hand and introduces himself. “I’m Kim Jongin.”

Jinri blinks, a hint of a rueful smile on her lips- but the smile isn’t quite there yet. “Choi Jinri.” She looks a little amused- “We’ve had classes together since middle school, Jongin.”

Jongin grins sheepishly, reasoning for the introduction being, “But we’ve never talked.”

Jinri takes the reasoning for what it is, but is quick to get to the point. “So why are we talking right now?”

Well, he didn’t expect her to be so blunt about it. But then again, what could he expect from a girl he knew nothing about?

Close to nothing, in any case- but he’s hoping that will change.

Jongin is half-joking, half-serious when he asks her, “Will you be my muse?” Because he can see that she has that type of beauty that simply radiates and can inspire if she so much as does the simple action of smiling. He has seen it in Soojung’s work, the type of inspiration that only Choi Jinri can give. But he wants to experience for himself, wants to see what type of feelings she can bring out of him.

Because Jongin knows that there has to be something about this girl- the girl that makes her best friend say cryptic things about depth and things not looking what they seem on the surface. That’s the type of beauty he wants to capture.

Jinri blinks in shock at the offer, unable to say a word. Instead she just smiles cordially and shakes her head, politely declining.

She never says a word, too speechless to do so. So she leaves quietly.

He watches her retreating back with a strange mash up of both self-embarrassment and piqued curiosity.

Jongin has never seen a smile as fake as that one.

The interest is as strong as ever.

Jung Soojung has always believed that Choi Jinri is like a work of art.

Since they were children, Soojung has always believed this.

Like a painting, Jinri is effortlessly beautiful. With her mannerisms, her attitude, her looks. There is a type of beauty in Jinri that is not worked for, but simply there.

And also like a painting, Soojung has learned that Jinri is judged in an instant, her entire self-worth explained and summed up in one look. It is a bitter piece of knowledge, one formed and learned throughout the years.

All Soojung does is sigh and wish people took the time to appreciate art more.

Jinri goes home that night, mulling over that strange boy’s question.

A couple weeks ago, Jinri had only known him by name; now, she can put a name to a face.

She remembers, quite clearly, the sheepish smile he had given to her, alongside the jarring question. “Will you be my muse?”

Jinri is sure that Jongin had only asked her because he had seen Soojung’s painting- but Jinri hadn’t been lying when she said that it didn’t resemble her at all.

That type of happiness, the brightness that calls for being an actual muse- that’s not Jinri. It’s fine if Soojung wants to call her as such, Soojung who she has known for an eternity. Soojung, who insists that Jinri is beautiful, that Jinri just needs to look deeper, who sees something in Jinri that not even Jinri herself sees.

That’s fine. It’s Soojung.

But to a stranger like Jongin? There is just no way.

Because to Jinri, being a muse means that one has to be beautiful enough to inspire.

She takes a chance look at her reflection; her plump cheeks, cracked lips, and dry skin stare back at her. Her eyes hollowly reflect what she knows to be truth, harsh and unforgiving with its gaze.

One look in the mirror and it’s obvious.

She’s not worthy of being someone’s muse.

Jongin knows Jinri is beautiful. If one were to judge just on face value, Jinri would undoubtedly be called so. Just one glance at her face, and it's apparent for the whole world to see.

But Soojung’s words ring loudly in Jongin’s ears- almost as loudly as Jinri’s own.

Jongin knows that there must be more to her than meet the eye.

That much is obvious with what Soojung has already said- if she wants him to look deeper, then by all means, he is going to do it.

The photographer in him, the one that wants to capture special instances, ones that are irreplaceable-

That’s the part that is itching to find out about Choi Jinri.

Jongin is a pretty reasonable guy, with a reasonable temper. He doesn’t get angry, not if he has no reason to be.

But if someone were to ask Jongin what makes him tick, he would tell that person three things.

He would say that broken cameras make him want to cry, that animal cruelty is just not right, and-

The fact that there are still people in this world that bully others makes him sick to his stomach.

Jongin is not surprised when he finds himself stumbling across Jinri more often that not. Maybe she had always been around, but he never bothered to notice- although how he could never notice Jinri is beyond him.

He thinks it has to do with how quiet she is, how she does nothing but talk to Soojung and be inconspicuous. But now, his viewpoint of her has changed. His viewpoint is constantly changing with every little bit he sees that is Choi Jinri.

Jongin is just about to wave her down when he sees her across the hallway, but stops short when he realizes that she’s not alone- or with Soojung for that matter.

There are three people in the group, but it’s obvious that there is a ringleader. It takes Jongin but a moment to realize what’s going on when he sees one of them shove at Jinri’s shoulder.

Jongin wants to roll his eyes at how cliché the whole scene is. It’s not a scene that he’s familiar with, but not one that he’s ignorant of. They’re in high school. Of course bullying exists; they’re at the age where emotions run rampant, where everything is a social struggle for the sake of popularity- because yes, art schools have a hierarchy system just like every other school.

Jongin would be a fool to be idealistic enough to think otherwise- he sees with the clarity of someone always watching behind a lens, always focused and observing through a clear filter.

And it is evident enough that it is the work of petty human emotions that bring Jongin to watch as a group of people try and bring Choi Jinri down.

There’s a nasty little sneer on some classmate Jongin has never bothered to learn the name of; she rolls her eyes and says hateful, bitter things whilst keeping that ugly sneer on. “You think you’re too good for us, don’t you?” Silence acts as Jinri’s response, but the response obviously isn’t what the other girl wanted.

Because in the next moment, there’s more ugly sneering, the baring of teeth, and shoving that should never, ever occur. Jinri is now on the ground, with the other girl laughing down at her. “Look at you, pretty little Choi Jinri- on the ground where she belongs.” There is another bark of laughter- but Jinri responds to all of it with-

With what looks like a tiny little deprecating smirk.

Jongin really can’t figure this girl out.

But smirk is all she does, and even that only lasts an instant. After that, she sits on the floor placidly, with an almost pitying expression on her face. “What, can’t talk? Won’t even stand up for yourself? What are you good for, Choi Jinri?”

In that instance, Jongin thinks this classmate looks really ugly.

But it has nothing to do with her physical appearance; instead, everything unattractive lies within her heart, blatantly shown through her unforgiving actions and acrid smile.

She makes him sick.

And so, to rid himself of that sick feeling, he moves from his spot, on a mission to call out some of his classmates on their ugly antics.

“Hasn’t anyone ever told you guys that bullying is really, really unattractive?”

It’s not the classiest or harshest of words to say, but there is utmost truth in them. “I mean, the poor girl is on the ground, but you’re still going on like there’s an actual point- which is really, really ugly.”

The one with the ugly sneer has turned her attention to Jongin. “It’s none of your business, Jongin.” Oh, so they know him? Strange- first he’s missed out on Jinri and now even her bullies?”

He takes this in stride, even if he feels sick to his stomach. Jinri is still on the ground. “You’re right, it’s none of my business- but I’m sure the office would love to hear about this.”

They sputter a response but the end result is them fuming in rage at the implied threat; they leave in a flurry of hastened and angry steps.

In the end, Jongin just laughs. Like cowards, they ran at the first mention of punishment and higher authority. It really is the work of petty jealousy. He makes a satisfied noise before he remembers why he did what he just did- and then he goes over and extends a hand to help Jinri up.

“Thank you,” she says, giving him a ginger smile; she pointedly does not take the hand that he had extended to her as she lifts herself up.

“What, that’s it?” Jongin doesn’t know why he expected anything in the first place, or what he was actually expecting, but he didn’t expect a cold thank you to be it.

Jinri looks genuinely curious as she asks in response, “What else do I need to do?”

“You’re supposed to-” except Jongin isn’t actually sure what there is that she needs to do.

Consequently, Jongin is left speechless; Jinri leaves with another polite smile. He gets to watch her retreating back once more- still with the same self-embarrassment and interest for Choi Jinri.

It doesn't make sense, he thinks.

For Jinri to be bullied.

She has never done anything to draw attention to herself, only sits there quietly. He figures that he would have known who she was if she drew attention to herself or had some sort of horrid reputation.

But maybe it is because she does nothing, and yet, people can't seem to look away. Jongin is finding that the more he watches, the more he realizes that he is not alone in trying to catch a glimpse of her.

Choi Jinri has something that draws people to her; her aura is steady and bright, like a flame, too beautiful to not be drawn to.

Like how moths are drawn to the bright light of a burning flame, he supposes.

Jongin makes the connection and snorts.

He’s just a moth drawn to a flame.

Soojung doesn’t quite know why Jinri is bullied.

Okay, she knows why- but she doesn’t know why.

She knows the basic reasoning, understands the underlying envy behind all who cannot stand the sight of her best friend.

So Soojung knows why in that sense-

But she doesn’t know why anyone would even try, how anyone can have the soul to do so.

Jinri has never been anything but kind. Maybe a little blunt and kind of passive, but always, always kind.

But jealousy, Soojung supposes, is a fickle, evil thing.

Jinri is bullied, at least to a small extent.

But Jongin doesn’t know why, nor can he figure it out.

And it eats at him, bothers him each time he sees Jinri.

He ends up asking the one person he figures knows why.

Jongin approaches Soojung in a hallway during passing period; he has about a minute to figure out what he needs to know. “So what’s the story?”

Soojung blinks at him, confused. “Excuse me?”

Okay, so that may have not been the best opener Kim Jongin has ever said. “Why do those art girls bully Jinri?”

Her tone is defensive, with her crossing her arms; she looks completely guarded as she asks, “Why do you want to know?” Who is Jongin to want to know about her best friend?

She interests me, I want to know more about her, it doesn’t make sense. These are the thoughts that Jongin can’t let out; he has no reason to want to know as badly as he actually does. So, to her best friend, he settles for saying a lame, “I just want to know.”

Soojung is ready to dismiss the question then and there, to coolly direct Jongin’s attention elsewhere.

But something in the way Jongin fidgets, the way he looks like he sincerely wants to know, makes Soojung pause.

Something forms in Soojung’s mind right there, on the basis that Jongin wants to know about Jinri- Jongin, who had called her portrait of Jinri beautiful and compared her to Snow White.

She sees something there.

So she smiles a little bit and doesn’t shut down his question like how she initially wanted to. “Ask her yourself,” is all Soojung says.

Because if he asks and Jinri tells him, then it is more than all the signs that Soojung needs.

The warning bell rings and then she is gone, off to class.

Jinri doesn’t mind that she’s bullied, not really. All the bullying only comes from that tiny group of three, and she can take that small dosage of abuse easily.

To have people rudely tell her who she is, who she's not, what she's worth- people that don't even matter somehow think they are so important that they can pass judgment- it is annoying, but Jinri has long since learned how to deal with it.

The most annoying thing about being bullied is not the bullies themselves.

Not to Jinri, at least.

The most annoying part, she supposes, is that she’s heard it all before from people that make the school bullies look sweet angels.

Harsh stares, judging glares, and words said only to put another down, to make them hurt- Jinri can take it all with a smile because it doesn’t matter what the unimportant people say.

It only really hurts from the people that actually matter.

A person is always shaped by their background, even if they do not choose to acknowledge it.

People are defined by their heritage, by their background, by their upbringing.

Jinri is no different, even if she does her best to say nothing about it.

It’s not that she is ashamed, not particularly so. It’s just hard to talk about when the topic inevitably falls upon her parents.

Her parents, who are famed in their own right, make things hard for Jinri.

Her mother used to be a fashion model; although she is now past her peak years, and has been since Jinri had been born, her mother is still beautiful beyond compare. She has aged gracefully, looking ten years younger than her actual age- but even so, her beauty is both timely and unsatisfactory for the magazine lines she used to give up everything for.

Jinri doesn’t understand how someone so beautiful in her eyes is seen as old and no longer useful in the eyes of her old line of work.

She’s grown up with the natural grace, with the effortless charm that her mother exudes. Her mother is tall with a slim figure; her eyes are big and bright, with fair skin and plump lips and long eyelashes.

And if her mother isn’t considered beautiful, then quite frankly, Jinri thinks no one is.

Jinri cannot even consider being on the same level as her mother; Jinri may be her daughter, but she carries none of what she thinks makes her mother beautiful.

And her father- well, her father is still going.

Her father still works as a high-end fashion photographer.

He’s had that job before Jinri had even been born- in fact, that’s how her father met her mother in the first place.

And he, with his lens and critical eye, looks at all things beautiful.

He critiques with an artistic vision framed by working with high-fashion; he knows what models should look like, what it takes to be a model.

He has a very specific criteria for what he considers beautiful, and Jinri understands- he has to, because of his job.

It just stings whenever Jinri thinks about how she doesn’t fit the criteria.

It stings even more when they tell her exactly that.

Jinri loves her parents, adores them.

And she always has the heart to forgive, especially when they don’t know that they’re hurting her.

“You need to stop eating so much, babygirl,” is what Jinri has been hearing since she started puberty- when she started getting taller, when her thighs got more plump, when her hips started to widen. Since she was thirteen years old.

Jinri grimaces, remembering all the times where she has had to paste a smile on her face. “It’s just a bowl of rice, mom.” Because food is food and food is important- right?

Her mom would always tut at her, merely looking at her bowl of carbs in disapproval. She would never say anything. Her husband would always say what is clearly on her mind.

“You’re never going to have someone love you if you look like this.” There is a fatherly smile on his face each and every time he says this and Jinri- to this day- doesn’t understand how a smile so gentle can pain her like nothing else.

But she has gotten used to it.

“You’re never going to have someone love you if you look like this.”

Those are the words that ring most clearly in Jinri’s mind when she looks into a mirror, when she steps on a scale, when all she comes home to are these harsh, ugly words.

Jongin, to his own credit, has tried to ask Jinri. He’s tried to catch her in the hallway like how he caught Soojung, has looked for her in the library a couple times. and even gets close even to speak to her face to face.

He feels a friendship with Jinri building in each stilted, polite conversation he has with her. Each conversation serves to build a connection between the two of them, with Jongin sincerely wanting to get to know her and Jinri letting him see bits and parts.

It starts with awkward greetings and mild pleasantries; within two weeks, they’re moving past that, with Jongin effortlessly being able to hold a conversation.

He is starting to know how to act around, starting to say the right things, and starting to actually make a new friend.

But he can’t find it in himself to ask something so personal; he doesn’t think he has earned the right.

Soojung has noticed Jongin around a lot more in the past weeks than she has had all semester. Of course, that could be because of all of the little conversations he has been having with her best friend.

She sees him speaking quickly when they pass each other in hallways, greeting her with a smile, and asking Jinri how her day has been.

And all Soojung can do is smile once he catches her again, not even bothering to start with a preamble. “It still doesn’t make sense to me,” Jongin admits. “But I want to know why.” He just can’t bring himself to ask yet.

Soojung knows what he is talking about immediately. “So you haven’t asked?” Somehow, she isn’t surprised that he hasn’t.

“No,” Jongin responds, frowning. “But I will, eventually- because I want to know Jinri.”

And that is all Soojung needs to hear.

Soojung and Jongin, much to Jinri’s surprise, form a friendship.

It doesn’t come as much of a surprise to Soojung though; Jongin has something about him that Soojung wants around Jinri- she’s not completely sure what that something is, or what will be the result in the future, but for now, Jongin’s presence is needed. Soojung knows that much.

Jinri, on the other hand, is rather confused when Jongin pulls up next to their table and plants himself into the seat next to Jinri. Soojung snickers from her place across from Jinri.

To her own credit, she only sounds mildly confused when she asks, “What are you doing here?”

Jongin gives Soojung a rather toothy grin once he answers with, “Soojung invited me to eat with you guys,”

All Jinri can do is stare blankly.

Jongin would be half offended at the reaction, but he knows better by now; he’s stared at her so long, has gotten to know her enough through the little conversations, and knows that she doesn’t mean to look so blank. In fact, she’s probably still confused. With the same toothy grin, he asks Jinri, “Why do you look so surprised?”

Jinri looks from Soojung to Jongin and then back to Soojung. “I thought she would hate you.” At the very least, Jinri is telling the truth. She didn’t even know that Soojung and Jongin were acquainted with one another.

Judging from just their personalities, Jinri didn’t think they would get along. “Like, she would end up trying to stab you with a fork or something.”

Soojung laughs, loud and free.

She agrees where Jinri is coming from- but Soojung gets along just fine with anyone that tries to see Jinri the same way she does.

They have a lunch break filled with nonsense and solidifying friendships.

When the bell rings, Jinri excuses herself to the bathroom quietly.

Jinri has a beautiful smile.

Jongin learns that quickly.

When she smiles, bright and free, Jongin thinks she has a smile beyond compare. Jongin has seen snippets of it, several times, and is capable of garnering at least a small smile now.

He’s even seen it in painting form, with the piece of art being able to make him stop and stare.

Every picture is worth a thousand words- Jongin knows this, lives by it as a photographer. But he has so many words to say about Jinri’s smile, he’s not sure he would ever be able to finish if he started talking about it.

Jongin also learns another thing really quickly.

And it is that no one can make Jinri smile like Soojung can. It is only around the other girl that Jongin thinks he is seeing the real Jinri.

Soojung knows just exactly what to say, what to do, to make Jinri smile.

Jongin will never say it aloud, but just knowing that makes him feel an irrational type of jealousy.

Jongin wants to be able to make Jinri smile.

It is a surprisingly startling yet simple realization.

The realization comes with a lurching feeling in his stomach- one very much akin to butterflies.

Jongin walks Jinri home one day when Soojung informs them that she can’t; the painter has to stay behind to work on a project- but she would hate for Jinri to have to walk home alone. And so she volunteers Jongin- who, honestly, doesn’t mind much.

So he is her designated walking home buddy of the day.

The walk is peaceful, with nonsense making most of the conversation. By this point, Jinri is able to talk comfortably in Jongin’s presence; she shows more of herself each and every day to Jongin.

They are about three blocks away when they both hear a yip- a frantic one. Jinri pauses, looks around for a moment, trying to find the source of the noise.

In the end, they both realize that there is an opened sewage vault- with a very lost puppy inside.

Jinri frowns immediately, assessing the situation. The vault is probably about five feet in depth and- poor thing, falling five feet. The dog is small and gruffy, and so very, very frantic.

She is still frowning, but by now she is taking off her shoes in the process. With a heavy sigh towards her clothes, she walks towards the sewage and is in it before Jongin even realizes it.

“What are you doing?” Jongin asks the obvious question, but he can’t help it. The determined purse of Jinri’s lips is making him incapable of thinking straight.

She doesn’t answer his question. Instead, she merely commands him. “Come here and help me save this dog.”

In that moment, Jongin sees a selfless soul.

A beautiful, benevolent soul.

She passes the dog to him, making sure that the dog is safely passed on.

Her clothes are grimy and she is marked with rather questionable things, but Jongin thinks she has never looked more beautiful.

And then Jinri beams at him, teeth showing and eye-smile in full effect- and that’s when he knows that he is a goner.

When Jongin offers her a helping this time around, Jinri takes it.

Jongin feels in immense sense of pride when Jinri walks into the an animal shelter, tracking grime and carrying a scruffy little dog that needs to be saved.

He thinks she looks beautiful.

Somewhere along the lines, it changes from just Soojung and Jinri and it varies from Jongin and Jinri to become Soojung, Jinri, and Jongin.

They form a legitimate group of three.

Jongin is reminded just how little he knows about Jinri when he sees Jinri carrying around a sketchpad one day. He feels that need to get to know more about Jinri become a little more desperate.

“You draw?”

“Why do you think I’m here?” Jinri teases. Oh yeah. Art school. Right. She raises an eyebrow and quite sassily asks, “Is that a problem?”

Jongin is sheepish because, okay, fine, that was an obvious question. But still, he can’t help but follow up with, “No, but- why?”

“Why?” Jinri questions her question. “I need a reason?” She does have one- and it’s that she’s good at it. But she wants to know why Jongin is asking.

Again, Jongin answers, “No.” But again, he has a follow up question. “But you must have a reason for going to an art school for drawing.”

“Why do you take pictures then?” Jinri counters. She’s not asking to be defensive, but now that she thinks about it, she really does want to know.

Jongin takes no offense to the question, happy to answer- because if she is asking, then that means Jinri wants to know more about him too- right? “I love being a photographer. It’s a way of life.”

“A way of life,” she repeats.

“Yes because- don’t judge me, Choi Jinri,” Jongin reprimands, seeing the flat stare that she is giving him. There is a quirk of a smile on her lips and Jongin moves on, continuing. “It’s a way of life because it reminds me to always live in the moment.”

“Sounds poetic,” she mumbles, mildly pursing her lips.

Jongin grins cheekily and restates his bold claim. “I live for the sake of capturing precious moments.”

“You live for the sake of capturing special moments," Jinri repeats once more, confused expression clear on her face, like it is a new concept to her.

“Because every moment is special,” he says, tone thoughtful and implication heavy as he stares dead-set into her eyes.

Jinri finds herself blushing deeply for the first time in years.

Jongin gives Jinri pleasant, tingly feelings and she can only guess what they really mean- but every time Jongin goes out of his way to try and make her smile, she finds herself falling just a little bit each time.

Jinri makes a habit to at least try and make herself feel like she is not ugly to the world every single day.

Jinri has always been curious when she sees that camera hanging around Jongin’s neck, but has never bothered to ask until now. “What kind of pictures do you take?” Jongin had invited her out for a little stroll in the park; they had both invited Soojung, but the other girl just laughed and declined.

Jongin, with a mild blush, thinks he knows why.

But he refocuses to answer Jinri’s question. “I’m taking landscape shots now, but people, mostly. I love candid shots.”

“So you’re one of those,” Jinri jokes, tone dry and flat. It takes Jongin three seconds for him to realize that Jinri is messing with him.

“Candid photos are beautiful. They hide nothing and only show the truest expressions.”

“You know my dad is a photographer.” Jinri ends up talking for the sake of talking. It slips without her really realizing it. It surprises herself, when she hears the words fall out of .

Jongin perks up at the words and asks, “Really?” His eyes are shining and Jinri can plainly see the adoration Jongin has for his art. “Who is he? Maybe I’ve heard of him?”

The answer comes out in a tired sigh. He’s going to hear the name, fall in love with the status of it, and then never look at Jinri the same. “Choi Soonyoung.” It always happens that way.

Jongin’s eyes are still bright as he cheerfully admits, “Never heard of him.”

Jinri feels a type of pleasant warmth with his happy, nonsense answer. But she wonders if he would still look at her like that if he, who so sincerely loves photography, found out that she could be his connection to something much bigger.

So she finds herself explaining, “He works for Seoul Fashion. He works as a photographer and one of the main editors.”

Jongin looks thoughtful as he asks in response, “That’s the really high-cut fashion magazine, right?” Jinri only nods wordlessly.

“Can I meet him?” There it is. Jongin won’t need her as a friend anymore- only as a connection. She knew it. “Your dad must be awesome if he has a daughter like you.” And then she is proven wrong. There is shyness in his tone and something else that makes Jongin incapable of looking her in the eye after saying such a statement.

Jinri laughs, short and hollow. The pleasant warmth thrums in her heart, telling her that she rather liked what Jongin had just said. But she goes back to the actual topic, moving away from the test that Jongin didn’t even know he was taking. (He failed, by the way- which was the best possible result.)

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.” Something about Jongin chips away at her carefully built filter; she finds herself answering questions she didn’t think she ever would to a mere acquaintance. Jinri doesn’t recognize it as such- but it’s the beginnings of something deeper than what she ever would have thought would come of her relationship with Jongin.

Jinri locks herself in the bathroom and plays her music loud so that no one can hear her.

Jongin almost forgets that Jinri is actually bullied.

Almost, being the key and defining term.

When Jongin sees Jinri backed up into a wall, the scene makes sense to him in less than a second.

It should be funny, seeing as how Jinri is taller than all three girls that are trying to make her stand down, but Jongin is starting to feel sick again so funny it is definitely not.

“Ungrateful ,” he hears one of them shriek. A fist lands near Jinri’s head and- that is not okay.

Jongin feels that familiar sickening feeling, and before he knows it, he’s rushing to do something.

He is in front of her in mere moments, shielding her own body with his own.

And now the situation should be really funny, with him staring down three short women. But it is still not.

“You must really want the office to hear about this, don’t you?” He sneers, not even bothering with any niceties.

“Don’t bother, Jongin,” Jinri murmurs, tugging on Jongin’s sleeve and making him still.

“They looked like they were about to hit you!” Jongin is both confused and enraged.

“They wouldn’t have,” she says. Her tone is nonchalant and Jongin doesn’t know why.

“They’ve been threatening me for years,” Jinri says, tone matter-of-fact. “But they’ve never done anything more than push me around a little.”

The girls, especially the ringleader, look visibly angry at this.

“Too cowardly to do anything else?” Jongin and Jinri talk like they are not right in front of them. It especially seems like it, now that Jongin has arrived on the scene. They haven’t moved much since, just fidgeting around.

“Too unimportant to matter,” Jinri corrects. Someone flinches and Jongin knows that Jinri has hit a nerve. “If bullying me a little gives them purpose in life, then why not let them?” Jinri’s words are cutting, but to her, she is just saying what she thinks.

“You really think you’re too good for us, don’t you?” one of them sneers.

“Not at all.” Jinri says this with sincerity.

Oh. So this is what it is all about. Jongin has figured it out. Petty, petty jealousy about Jinri being more important.

“You just don’t know how to make it hurt,” she says, honest and blunt and more telling than anything else.

Jongin should have taken the statement as a warning sign; instead, he just scoffs, slings an arm around Jinri, and walks away.

Jongin does eventually report them.

They never get the chance to bully Jinri again, especially not with Jongin always around.

Jinri and Jongin make small talk as they walk to the rendezvous point that Soojung is most likely waiting at. “At least I can say I’ve been bullied in high school.”

Jongin looks at her pointedly and with mild exasperation. “Why would you want to say that?”

Jinri opens to answer, closes it, and then opens to only say a thoughtful, “...huh.”

He sighs at her, exasperated but amused.

Jongin keeps his arm around Jinri for the remainder of the walk.

It has become a typical occurrence- Jongin eating with Jinri and Soojung. Normally, he’s off playing with Luhan from the next class during lunch, but he makes an effort to join two of his favorite women for lunch at least once a week.

So it surprises no one when Jongin slides in the seat next to Jinri.

But Jongin is a little late today and Jinri is already done eating, with Soojung close behind.

Jinri has just finished a bowl of rice and she looks rather sick- like she needs to throw up. Maybe the lunch was bad today?

Jongin greets both of them but stares at Jinri, concerned.

She moves to excuse herself when Jongin catches her off-guard. “Are you okay?”

Jinri blinks, as if she’s surprised that Jongin’s noticed. “I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Jongin waggles a finger and Soojung laughs at the dorky gesture, but she voices her agreement.

“You do look a little pale, Jinri.” Soojung stares, intent and curious as Jinri smiles awkwardly.

She thanks them for their concern but says, “I really am okay, I just need to use the restroom.” Jinri looks more uncomfortable by the moment, so they eventually let it slide.

Jongin and Soojung stare at Jinri’s retreating back with more than just mild concern.

Jongin is with them the next lunch break, concern for Jinri’s prior behavior overriding the need to play soccer with Luhan. He’s fresh out of a Moral Ethics class and his brain is active with all these theories and stories and he starts by announcing, “My teacher is the spawn of Satan.”

Soojung and Jinri gives one glance to Jongin and then turn back to each other to continue their conversation. Jongin is flatly ignored- and he can’t have that, now can he? “No, I’m serious, I’m a pretty good judge of character, you know.”

Jinri decides to amuse Jongin and play along with his statement. “A good judge of character? You?”

“The best,” he smirks. It takes all that Soojung is to not throw a piece of kimchi at Jongin’s overconfident face.

“Really? And what would you say about me?” Jinri asks out of pure curiosity. She wants to know what he thinks about her, even if she normally doesn’t find herself caring about what other’s think. But Jongin has become important to her and that means that his opinion is important as well.

There is a teasing, playful grin that settles on Jongin’s lips, but his words are laced with sincerity. “I think you’re beautiful.”

Soojung lets out a little squeal and Jinri ends up covering her face with her hands.

His words shake Jinri more than she would like to admit.

Jinri walks to the bathroom during the period after lunch, when everyone should be in class.

It’s rare when Jinri decides to stay back a little while to finish one of her sketches, but when it happens, Soojung and Jongin usually wait outside the school gate for her; it has become a tradition of sorts to always walk home together. Jongin and Soojung wait in peaceful silence under a rather aesthetically pleasing tree for close to five minutes before Soojung voices what has been on her mind all this while. “You like her.” She says the statement, short and sweet, with the teasing implication hanging heavily in the air.

If Jongin had been drinking anything, he would have surely spit it out in an over dramatic fashion- but because he’s not, he merely chuckles nervously. “What are you talking about, I don’t like anyone.”

Soojung just laughs, patronizing as she taps Jongin’s cheek playfully. “You’ve liked Jinri since day one.”

“No?” He sounds even more unsure the second time he denies it.

Soojung nods, as if she accepts his reasoning, but her words say the exact opposite. “Tell me, Jongin. Have you ever sat next to me for anything?”

He opens his mouth to respond, to argue with her, but- no, no he hasn’t. “And tell me something else, Jongin. Have you ever tried to go out of your way to make anyone else smile- and have you ever sincerely called someone else beautiful in the way that you call Jinri beautiful?”

Jongin, to his own credit, doesn’t keel over and die from embarrassment. He just feels all the blood rush to his face and has to bury his face into his hands so that he’s not looking at Soojung.

Soojung continues, undeterred. “Because if you do, then I guess we have a problem here.”

He can barely keep staring at her, not even bothering to keep up any form of denial; not when Soojung is so sure that she knows. And she does, indeed, know.

“But we don’t have a problem, now do we?”

He feels small, like a child, when he looks into Soojung’s knowing eyes.

Jongin feels for Jinri something that he doesn’t feel for anyone else in this world.

He feels something inexplicable when he sees her smile, when she beams at him, when she quietly but honestly sasses him, when she concentrates on her work quietly, when she- when she does anything, really.

And when he ends up telling Soojung all of this, Soojung only lets out a content sigh and pats herself on the back.

From the moment Jongin asked her about Jinri, she knew something was there.

When Jinri eventually walks out to meet up with Jongin and Jinri, she doesn’t ask why Jongin is so red in the face and why Soojung is grinning from ear to ear.

Something that has bothered Jongin in the past suddenly seems to resurface when he’s walking along the halls and he sees a very familiar trio of girls. He turns on his heels and stops Soojung short. “Okay seriously- what is the deal with Jinri and that group of art girls?”

Soojung blinks in surprise. “You still haven’t asked?” They’ve gotten close, knowing each other for several months now. She figured he had already asked.

“Never got around to it,” Jongin shrugs. “And they don’t bother Jinri anymore, so I just forgot until now.”

Soojung purses her lips and figures that it wouldn’t hurt to tell Jongin. They’re close enough so that it doesn’t matter anymore- back then, she hadn’t known that Jongin would become a such fixture to them both, but now that he has, it seems useless to withhold information. “Well, back in middle school, Jinri won a contest.”

“Because Jinri is awesome,” Jongin supplies.

“Yes, because she is awesome,” Soojung agrees.”And there was contest money involved and a scholarship to some fancy pants place, but-”

“But she turned it down?” That’s Jongin’s educated guess, seeing as how he still goes to school with Jinri.

“Yeah, and the people that bullied her didn’t like that,” Soojung scoffs. “Jinri turned it down because she said someone needs this more than her, that someone else will appreciate it more, and that she’s okay with going to school in the area.”

He sees her act as one of selflessness, of sincerity. The story warms Jongin to the core, makes him unconsciously smile when he thinks about her kind heart.

“The perks of being in an art high school,” Jongin hums.

Jongin brings up the bullying topic with Jinri a little later. Soojung is off on her own, wooing some upperclassman named Lee Taemin. Jinri high-fived her for good luck beforehand. “You’re much stronger than people give you credit for.” Jongin says this, solemn and sincere; Jinri can’t help but blink in surprise because-

“Where is this coming from?”

He ignores her question in favor of asking another. “Didn’t any of the bullying get to you?”

Oh. So that is what this is about.

“I said it last time, but they never knew how to make it hurt,” is Jinri’s simple answer.

Jinri knows this because of experience.

She knows what it takes to make it hurt.

“You’ll never have someone love you if you look like this.”

She knows.

She hears it loud and clear, each and every single day.

When Jinri looks at Jongin, she feels something stirring in the depths of her heart, something that she thinks she shouldn’t be feeling.

And when Jinri looks at that smile he always gives her, she feels warmth.

Jongin has asked Jinri out.

But no one should get excited, because he asked Soojung to come as well. Soojung is exceptionally disappointed with this.

But his reason behind this is that he needs to go take pictures at the nearby lake and it’s funner to go with more people.

And it’s all fun and games until Jongin tries to feed the ducks.

They’re flapping around, waddling, and rushing towards the resident bread crumb holder.

Calm and cool Jinri is suddenly shrieking, nonchalance nowhere to be found.

Jinri is afraid of ducks.

And that is the cutest ing thing to Jongin.

In seeing her fear, Jinri seems more tangible as a person, more real.

More lovable.

After the whole duck fiasco, in which Jongin had heroically tried to save Jinri from the ducks (“You summoned them in the first place!”), they decide to rest at Soojung’s house.

Soojung is currently holding a mirror to her face, taking out stray duck feathers. “The one that jumped you had talent,” Jongin quips.

“Shut up.”

Jinri is sulking because she had been scared out of her mind only twenty minutes ago.

But Soojung and Jongin can’t have that.

Within minutes, Jongin and Soojung are joking around, playfully holding a mirror up to Jinri’s face.

“Mirror mirror on the- damn it, Soojung, the mirror has to be on the wall.” Jongin complains while Soojung rolls her eyes, shaking the mirror that is in front of Jinri’s face.

“Shut up and say the stupid line.”

Jongin sticks his tongue out in a show of maturity but complies.“Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all~?’

“Why, is it Jung Soojung?” Soojung acts, tone raised, high and playful.

Jongin puts on a face of disapproval and scoffs in mock disgust. “Dear lord, no.”

Soojung only hits him once before they continue.

“Wasn’t it- who was it again- Snow White?” Jongin pretends to tap his chin, lost in thought.

Soojung makes a ridiculously offended expression and says, “Of course not!”

Jongin, at this point, is pretending to look positively stumped. “Then who?”

“It’s Choi Jinri!” Jongin and Soojung both let out a little cheer and Soojung even waves the mirror in front of Jinri’s face for a little bit.

Jinri wants to cry.

Jinri leaves for home a little while after that, feigning sickness.

Choi Jinri, fairest of them all?

She picks at her thigh fat and pokes at her protruding tummy- and even takes it one step further in paining her by walking towards the mirror.

She chances one look at her reflection and scoffs at the sight of her rounded face and imperfect facial features.

Jinri cries to herself as she spends an hour in a her locked bathroom, music drowning out any and all other noise.

Jinri contemplates what it would be like to not be overrun by the voices in her head, the harsh side of her conscience that only exists to bring her down.

She wonders what it would be like to wake up one day and have the self-confidence to honestly believe she’s at least half as beautiful as what Jongin and Soojung say..

She contemplates and wonders and thinks and it keeps her up at night, wishing that tomorrow, she might be better to herself.

But it’s harder than it seems, to find the type of self-confidence that has already been so cruelly taken away from her.

Because no matter how hard she wishes, when she wakes up the next day and looks in the mirror, she still sees the same old fat, ugly, and useless Choi Jinri.

“You’re never going to find someone to love you if you look like that.

In the end, all she can do is laugh at her nonsense and wishful thinking.

“Draw yourself.” It’s her newest assignment in her drawing class, and the hardest thing she has ever done.

Draw herself?

She can’t possibly do that; she can’t be forced to draw her own imperfections, to ruin her canvas with her own reflection.

She can’t and she won’t.

Not even her canvas deserves that.

Jinri turns in a blank canvas.

Jongin end up finding out about the self-portrait assignment and asks to see Jinri’s project. She shows him what she turned it. “But you’re more than a blank canvas,” Jongin says, concerned at the lack of self in Jinri’s self- portrait.

Jinri grimaces but tries to pass the whole thing off as a joke. “But doesn’t it kind of look like me?”

“Are you sleeping right now? Or are you under a spell? Because you’re more than nothing.”

“It looks like me!” Jinri huffs; it looks better than what she looks like, in her opinion.

“Do I need to give you a kiss to wake you up?” Jongin teases, tone playful and airy, making a clear reference to the Snow White fairytale.

He doesn’t mean it-

But Jinri half wishes that he did.

Jinri becomes more to him than someone who he thought would be his muse. They've long moved passed that part; it is not as important as it had been a couple months ago.

Because Jinri has become a genuine person to him, a friend, someone who he wants to keep in his life.

And while she does inspire him very much like a muse does, she is just so much more that he can't find it in himself to call her just a muse.

It doesn't take long for Jongin to realize that he has fallen in a way that calls for never getting back up.

Jongin invites them both out to dinner with a couple other classmates, with Soojung immediately agreeing and Jinri trying to get out of it in every way possible.

In the end, Jongin refuses to take no for an answer.

They have dinner.

After they're done with dinner, Jinri starts looking a little pale; she’s sweating in no time, fidgeting in her seat.

She slips away quietly, not saying a word.

Both Jongin and Soojung notice.

Jongin makes her feel weak; so, so weak. Weak to her knees, weak to her heart, weak to the very core of her soul.

And she is, quite honestly, completely horrified.

Jongin is breaking down her walls faster than she can build them up and he is forcing his way into her heart- very much like how he had forced himself into her life- and everything is scaring her.

It is a new experience, knowing that someone wants to get to know her, wants to be friends with her, wants to find out who Choi Jinri really is.

It is, simply put, terrifying- because he’s not like Soojung, in that Soojung and Jinri have grown up together.

She’s not used to people seeing past her facade, wanting to get to know her for who she really is. She doesn’t know if she can handle letting Jongin know who she really is. That is why it is terrifying.

But it might not be the most terrifying part, because perhaps the most terrifying thought of all to Jinri is-

Jinri finds herself wanting to let Jongin in.

Soojung is sleeping over at Jinri’s house, having a much needed sleeopver in the name of girl-talk. In between watching dramas and eating a lot of popcorn, Jinri ends up asking, “What do you think about Jongin?”

Soojung can’t fight her smile- she thinks it’s rather adorable that Jinri has brought up Jongin. “He’s alright.”

“That’s it?” Jinri’s tone is accusatory, one that says that can’t be it.

“Well, what do you think about him then?” asks Soojung. They’re having a girl talk over Jongin. This is simply adorable.

“He’s weird,” is Jinri’s flat answer.

“Why is that?”

“He makes me feel tingly and warm,” Jinri admits. “And weak.” Definitely weak.

Soojung cackles at her, making Jinri blink in surprise. She didn't say anything weird, did she? "Stop building on an idea that you're weak because you need him." Okay, maybe she did. "It's called love." Soojung may have called it infatuation beforehand, but their relationship is progressing and Soojung sees the beginning signs of something much deeper than simple liking.

"Love?" Jinri repeats. She goes wide-eyed and slack jawed. It is something she has only thought about in passing about Jongin, but now that Soojung has said it aloud, it makes everything feel much more real.

"Love, Jinri," Soojung says, all-knowing smile on her face. "Love."

Jinri wakes up early, having had a horrible time sleeping. She slept fitfully, thinking about Soojung’s words, thoughts mostl going back to Jongin and- she couldn’t be in love with Jongin.

Soojung is still sleeping when Jinri pads into her kitchen; it’s early enough for her parents to still be home. Jinri walks over to the counter and holds a muffin.

Her mother walks in, ready to start the day. "Oh sweetie," her mom coos at her, looking as flawless as usual. "You shouldn't eat that."

Her father comes in, camera in hand, as he swoops in and places a kiss on his wife's cheek. "Hello there, love. Good morning, Jinri."

Jinri can’t help but ask, now that her sleep has been ruined because of the topic. "Dad, how did you know that you loved Mom?"

"Why- one look and I just fell in love." They both share a rather mushy smile which has Jinri feeling something akin to jealousy. She would love to have someone look at her the way her father looks at her mother.

Her father notices what she's holding in her hand and gives the same look of disapproval that his wife had. "Jinri, you're not going to eat that, are you?"

Jinri smiles sadly, shaking her head. "Of course not."

"You shouldn't even be holding it," he sighs. He scurries around, getting ready to go to work. "Take better care of yourself, you're never going to find someone to love you if you look like that."

Jinri ends up throwing the muffin away.

It lands in the garbage- the place where Jinri figures she also belongs.

Jinri doesn't deserve Jongin.

Jongin, who has a positive outlook on life, a beautiful smile, and a wonderful personality- "Jongin deserves much better than me- he can get anyone in the world. So why would he settle for me?" Why would he love me?

Jinri can only scoff at herself and try to make the pain in her heart hurt a little less.

Jinri goes to school as usual with Soojung, but spends the rest of that night in her locked bedroom.

Jongin feels rather philosophical and deep, laying on the ground and pondering the world. In reality, he’s laying in Jinri’s backyard, with Soojung painting Jinri’s decorative garden in the distance. Jinri is sitting next to him quietly.“Tell me one thing about yourself that you normally don’t tell other people.”

“Why?”

“I just want to know more about you.”

Jinri purses her lips. “You tell me something first.” Jongin’s not surprised that she has said this.

Jongin thinks quietly, wondering what to say. “I used to have panic attacks when I was young.” Jongin remembers that unforgettable sense of panic, of being in a spinning room, of not being able to breathe. “They weren’t fun.”

“That sounds pretty private,” Jinri frowns. “Why are you telling me?”

“Because I trust you.”

Jinri ends up telling him that she hates looking at herself in the mirror.

It is a secret that only Soojung had known beforehand.

But she returns the trust that Jongin has given her.

“Why would you hate looking at yourself in the mirror?” Jinri only half-regrets telling Jongin, now that the boy won’t drop the topic. “You don’t think you’re pretty?”

“Nope,” is her answer. Short and sweet.

Jongin is completely confused.

Jinri is the epitome of ideal korean beauty, with her symmetrical face and unforgettable facial features.

But her physical appearance is not the most beautiful thing about her; it's nowhere near close to what Jongin believes is the most beautiful.

He sees beauty in the kindness of her smile, in the gentleness that is her heart. He honestly cannot believe it. “Why not?”

Jinri opens to speak, to let her guard down to Jongin once more, but scars run deep- and she finds that she can’t, not entirely. Jinri settles for half of the truth instead. “According to my photographer dad, I don’t have the look to being pretty.” With the look being thin, flawless, and self-confident. Jinri mentally adds.

"That’s stupid,” Jongin blurts without thinking.

Jinri only shrugs. “That’s my dad for you.”

“Your dad is stupid,” Jongin blurts once more without thinking.

Jinri stares at Jongin for a moment, stare absolutely blank, before she laughs.

Jinri laughs, loud and open, for the first time in a long time because of someone not Soojung.

Jongin feels such a rush of pride and warmth that he ends up laughing with her.

Soojung finishes her painting and wants in on the joke when she sees them laughing without her.

When Jongin tells her what Jinri has told her, she wants to cry.

Jongin doesn’t know how much it means for Jinri to tell him that.

Soojung manages to hold in her tears, but she asks Jongin point blank, “Why do you think I paint Jinri?”

Jinri squeaks, while Jongin looks at Soojung curiously.

“She hates looking at herself- but she can never hate one of my paintings.” Soojung says this with a cheeky smile and Jongin thinks that Soojung is the best friend in the world.

Jinri just blushes.

Jongin brings up what Jinri considers a random topic when he’s fiddling with his camera; she’s busy drawing. “Can I meet your parents?”

“No,” is Jinri’s first reaction. Reject first and then ask questions later. She puts down her pencil and sketchpad. “Why?”

Jongin is still fiddling with his camera, refusing to look Jinri in the eye. “I want to tell them they were wrong about not having a beautiful daughter.” But even though he’s not looking at her, the claim is said with a bold confidence that makes all the little butterflies in Jinri’s stomach come to life.

Okay, Jinri tells herself. She might be in love with Jongin.

Jongin already knows that he is.

Jinri's eyes sing and dance with words and feelings that she will only ever feel for Kim Jongin.

For Jongin, Jinri spends more time than ever in a locked bathroom.

Jinri has taken to extra time in a locked bathroom, but someone walks in on her one day, with Jinri hunched over a toilet.

Jinri realizes that she wasn't careful enough, that she has now been caught. She vaguely thinks that she locked the door, but maybe she hadn’t?

She hears a tiny little horrified squeak of shock- and Jinri belatedly realizes that it is Soojung who has found her.

The implication of what Jinri had been doing is clearly there, with the knowledge now fully out in the open. Because what else would she be doing in a bathroom alone, when everyone else is supposed to be in class, right after lunch?

Everything clicks for Soojung in the moment; how little Jinri eats, how she always disappears after a meal, how she hates looking at herself.

“Bulimia?” she whispers, more for her than for Jinri. Jinri’s bulimic. Has been, for god knows how long.

"Soojung, don't tell anyone. Please, you can't tell anyone. Don’t tell my parents." This is her dirty little secret- and she wants to keep it that way. So she begs and she pleads and Soojung is crying. Her best friend is confused and scared and Jinri feels so guilty for making Soojung cry like this- but all she can say is, "Please don't tell anyone, please." With a gasp, she adds on to her plea. “Don’t tell Jongin, please.” She repeats it, like a mantra, with hysteria building up in , making the plea turn into a desperate shriek. “Don’t tell Jongin.”

And all Soojung does is let more tears fall, saying nothing. She promises nothing.

Her silence is weighted and heavy, a silence that shakes the core of Jinri's soul.

Because now Jinri is scared- her secret is out, and she is terrified out of her mind.

Soojung can’t say that she has never had her speculations about Jinri, about why she hates looking at herself so much. She knew she hated looking at her reflection, but to know that she throws up after each meal to make herself skinner when she is perfectly fine and beautiful-

To know that Jinri has withheld this information from her best friend is what hurts the most, what stings her best friend pride.

It doesn’t make the knowledge any easier to handle.

Jongin finds Jinri shaking and in tears, sitting outside in the courtyard. He had gone out looking for her when she didn’t come back to class; Soojung didn’t either.

"Jinri, why are you crying?” He’s immediately alarmed and rushing over to her, throwing an arm over her slight frame. I'm here, Jinri. Don’t cry, I'm right here." He thinks about what would make her outright sob like this, but can’t think of anything.

The initial horror has faded and now reality is setting in, with both the repercussions of what has happened and her actions coming into light. “Soojung- Soojung is going to hate me.”

“Why would she hate you?” Jongin’s rightfully confused; Soojung is her best friend. Why would she hate her?

“Because I lied to her, because I’m stupid, and ugly and-”

“Shut up,” Jongin responds, tone flat and irritated. "Don't ever feel like you're less than what you are.” Jinri is beautiful.

“I’m horrible, I’m the worst person.” Jinri babbles on, unable to stop. “Soojung hates me, she should hate me.”

"Why are you being so hard on yourself right now?” Jongin asks, frustrated. His tone is angry but his eyes are kind and he just wants to know what the hell is going on.

Jinri looks into Jongin’s eyes and sees so much affection for her that she just breaks; she’s been emotionally compromised, has been since she was thirteen. And that type of break has been overdue for a long time. So she babbles and explains, tells Jongin how ugly she is, how Soojung will hate her- but doesn’t tell him what Soojung has seen.

Jongin takes to her explanation the best he can, but a frown is obviously on his face. "Every single mean thing those stupid voices in your head have told you? Either throw them away or change them and make them like you instead."

"I can't just throw them away.” She would if she could, but she can’t.

"Fine, then make them like you instead.” Jongin is defiant, willing Jinri to listen to his words. “Make them like you how much I like you- and then you'll really see how beautiful you are."

Jinri scoffs, finding no comfort in Jongin’s words. “That’s the problem, Jongin- I’m not beautiful in the slightest.”

“Being beautiful isn’t about having a pretty face- even if you do one. Being beautiful is about having a pretty heart, a pretty mind, and a pretty, pretty soul.” Jongin’s never tried so hard to convince someone before that what he is saying is truth.

Jinri wonders if Jongin would still think she’s beautiful if he knew what she does to herself.

“So,” Jongin breaks the awkward tension as casually as he can. “Jinri thinks you hate her.” But maybe Jongin could use a couple lessons in actually sounding casual.

Soojung glares at him, willing him away with the fierceness of his stare.

It doesn’t work, so Soojung talks instead.

“Jinri has a little secret, one that she thinks no one will ever know about. She thinks that no one will ever try to look past the surface and that hurts me.” Soojung feels angry and bitter, heart hurting with a strong sense of betrayal.

“She thinks of herself as a pretty little painting- a portrait, if you will. She always tells me that you never really know what’s going on in a painting, especially when a picture is taken at surface value and judged at a glance. I’m a painter, you know." Jongin is very much aware. "Imagine how much it hurts hearing that all the time.”

Jinri’s words from their first meeting ring in Jongin’s head and he starts to feel slightly sick.

“Imagine how much it hurts for my best friend to not trust me, to always tell me that I’ll never be able to see her.”

Soojung hasn’t promised silence, and when she tells Jongin what Jinri does to herself- because if anyone can make a difference to Jinri, it’s Jongin.

So she tells him everything, all her theories, her speculations, what she has seen- what her parents both do.

When she tells him, his blood runs cold.

A confrontation is obvious.

Jongin waits in front of her house until she lets him in and starts talking the moment she closes her front door.

"Please stop hurting yourself." Jongin is pleading with her, sincerely asking her to do this one thing for him.

In that moment, Jinri knows that Jongin knows. She swallows thickly, but can’t find it in herself to be mad at Soojung. She promised her nothing, probably only told Jongin because she cares. The problem is that Jinri doesn't know how to stop- doesn't even know if she wants to stop.

“I can’t,” she mumbles.

Jongin paces around before pointing to the closest mirror, trying to make her see what she sees. “Look in the mirror and tell me what you see.”

“Jongin-”

“Look at the mirror.”

And Jinri looks. “I see an ugly little girl who is never going to find someone who loves her." She says what she has known as truth all this while, the truth that is marred and bent and so, so fickle.

“Want to know what I see? I see a beautiful young girl who is lost and filled with preconceived notions of beauty- notions that do not and never will make sense.” She tears, trying to make herself believe what he’s saying, but it’s hard.

“And Soojung will never hate you,” Jongin says, voice soft but filled with so much anger.

Jinri cries.

Jinri ends up going to Soojung’s house, at her own insistence. She left to go to Soojung a little after Jongin left her house.

She walks in with the key that Soojung had given her with trust- trust that she has misplaced, but she is trying to fix that now.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Jinri says this as she tries to hold back her own tears, immediately finding Soojung and moving to hug her. She has never been much of a crier, but seeing the betrayed face on Soojung's face- that has her emotional walls breaking down around her as she tries to make things right. "I didn't want you to know how ugly I was, I didn't want you to think that I'm a horrible person or anything." She's babbling excuses, all things that she sees as the truth. "I didn't want you to be ashamed of me, but Soojung, I-"

Soojung cuts her off, lip trembling as she tries not to cry. "I've always seen you for what you are- and you are nothing short of beautiful."

Jinri allows Soojung to drag her to the doctor's where they tell her that the damage she has done to her body is bad, but mendable.

But it shouldn't be too much of a problem if she starts taking care of herself now.

So they take care of her to the best of their abilities and remind her every single day that she’s beautiful and precious.

They think she's on the mend.

Even Jinri thinks she is.

Jongin and Soojung will soon learn that optimism, when it comes crashing down, hurts like nothing else in this world.

One moment, they’re just talking, walking home. The next, Jinri’s eyes flutter to a close and she drops forward.

Jinri hits the floor and Jongin is there in an instant. “I thought she was getting better, what's happening?"

"Electrolyte deficiency,” Soojung mumbles. “It happens when you’ve been bulimic for a while.” Because yes, Soojung has read up on it. For Jinri. "It can make you faint."

With an alarmed sense of panic, checks for breathing and- “She’s not breathing.”

Soojung recognizes the signs, vaguely recalls the random articles she has read in passing. And now she is terrified. Because she knows. “She’s going into cardiac arrest,” Soojung cries out, feeling tears prick in the corner of her eyes. She drops to the floor, getting ready to help in the only way she thinks will work.

He takes a step back to give Soojung room; Jongin takes out his phone with trembling fingers, instinctively calling the emergency number. With quick, shortened, and panicked breaths, he manages to tell the operator where they are and that, “Jinri needs help, she needs help, she’s not breathing, please come quickly.”

Soojung tries to compress Jinri’s chest, pushing down and trying to help in any way possible. She’s trying to save her, trying to keep her life. Because Soojung is aware of the dangers of Jinri not getting help in time. She knows and she refuses to let those dangers come alive.

She knows Jinri can’t fight for her life right now, but that’s fine. If Jinri can’t Soojung will- through panic and tears and “Choi Jinri, you can’t. Don’t do this to me, don’t leave me.”

Jongin feels a bubbling sense of hysteria and the whole area is suddenly spinning. “Jinri,” he mumbles. He’s gulping down air is fast as he can, but it does nothing to calm his nerves. Instead, it seems to have the opposite effect and the room is still spinning around him, even as he focuses on Jinri’s writhing figure. He’s crawling, padding towards her, but by now, he can’t breathe properly and the hysteria is still so there and-

“You had a panic attack,” the nurse tells him. Jongin blinks at her when he comes to. At least they made it to the hospital, if the settings are anything to go by.

"I haven't had one since I was a child," he ends up telling the nurse. “When my mom died,” he adds. It’s like an omen, that he’s had one now. "They're not fun."

All Jinri can really remember thinking is, “please, not like this, just not like this,”- but even so, it has happened.

Her mind is trapped in itself and she finds that there is no way out.

They’re in the waiting room. Soojung looks haggard and Jongin almost looks worse.

"We're sorry, but there is nothing more I can do." It is a horrible opening statement, but this doctor isn’t much for pleasantries and sugar coating.

Jongin automatically assumes the worst. "What do you mean there is nothing more you can do?" He feels like the room is closing in on him, like he is being suffocated. “You’re a doctor, you’re supposed to be able to save her.” Jinri can’t be gone. She can’t.

Soojung starts shaking from besides him- and honestly, he understands.

"Given the nature of her," The doctor pauses, as if he remembers that he must at least try and sound sympathetic. "Condition, going through cardiac arrest wasn't exactly unexpected." Soojung “But it’s a good thing you two acted when you did- she could have died without the resuscitation. We’re trying to stabilize her condition as much as possible, but we can’t do much now that she has slipped into a coma."

A coma. A ing coma.

But it’s okay because being in a coma still means that Jinri is alive- and that she has a chance.

“So she’s alive?” Soojung breathes out a shaky sigh of relief, looking happier than she had mere moments ago. She wipes the stray tears in her eyes and asks, “When can we see her?”

“Unfortunately, not right now.” It doesn’t sound very unfortunate, from his tone. Jongin hates this man. The doctor looks at his clipboard with a grim frown. He needs to finish this talk immediately. "I am going to be honest with you both. I know you might not appreciate it now, but it’s always better to know the truth. Realistically, her chance of survival is really low." He gives them a pitying look, one that is obviously comes off as half-assed sympathy. “Don’t be surprised if your friend doesn’t make it.”

Jongin has to bodily hold Soojung down after the doctor says cold words of astute truth- Soojung is angry, livid even. Because how dare he assume that Jinri is not going to make it, that she is going to be taken from them. How ing dare he.

There’s a snarl that escapes from Soojung’s throat and that’s the only warning that both Jongin and the doctor get before she lunges, heated by the uncaring words from the person who is supposed to save her best friend.

Jongin stops her, picks her up right out of the air, and struggles with her; she fights against his hold as the doctor walks away like he had not been almost attacked. Like nothing had happened.

And Jongin lets him walk away because angry as he also is, he is not going to get kicked out of this hospital for attacking a doctor.

Not when Jinri still needs him.

The pain that he feels when he looks at Jinri laying motionless on a hospital bed is nothing like what he has felt before; it is a telling feeling, one that is shouting at him. "When you wake up, I'm going to tell you that I love you.” It’s a promise, one that Jongin intends to keep.

Days go by with no change.

It’s like Jinri can hear what’s around her, but not really.

She can hear bits and parts and she thinks she hears Soojung singing to her and Jongin telling her stories.

Jinri feels happy with that.

But even if she’s happy, it is hard to keep trying, to keep fighting.

Her parents visit her sparsely, she thinks. But she hears them loud and clear when they do.

“Ugly until the end,” she hears her dad mumble. She hears the click of a camera and then nothing else.

No one, not even her nurse, notices the stray tear that falls.

It’s lonely, being left alone and only having your own thoughts as company.

And not for the first time, Jinri wonders what it would be like for all the pain to go away. For all the thoughts to cease, to never feel ugly and useless again.

And as she wonders, she doesn’t necessarily realize it, but Jinri does one specific thing.

Jinri stops fighting it.

Her heartbeat is erratic and the monitor starts going crazy. Jongin and Soojung fight past an array of nurses to get to Jinri; they’ve left the hospital very little in the time that Jinri has been admitted. It has been a week, and this is the first change since then.

“She’s convulsing,” someone shouts. Jongin thinks it’s a nurse.

He grabs onto her hand like that will give her a lifeline. “Please, Jinri. Please.” He feels it in his core, that something tragic is about to happen, that something is going to break him. “You have to stay with us, you have to stay with me.”

He has never begged so hard for anything, has never needed to, and will never need to again. But in this instance, everything that he is goes into asking her to stay with him, for a chance at a life together.

“You’re beautiful and I love you and I want to spend more time with you.”

He begs for more time, just a little longer. He begs for her to be able to come out of this, for him to be able to see those bright, bright eyes again, for Choi Jinri to live.

He hasn’t known her for long, but she has come to mean so much. Regardless, time matters little when it comes to matters of the heart, and his heart is saying that he wants nothing more than for her to open her beautiful eyes and give him that gentle smile.

“I love you, please, you’re beautiful, let me tell you that you’re beautiful, Jinri.”

That is all he wants, all that he is pleading for. Because he wants more time with her, so badly craves for it.

But time is not what they have.

Her hand drops from his and the flatlined beeping is the loudest thing that Jongin hears in his life.

Jongin wakes up to muffled noises and conversations; he doesn’t even remember going to sleep in the first place.

“You fainted,” Soojung tells him.

“Oh,” he mutters. And then he realizes why he fainted in the first place and he shoots up, erratic. “jinri? What about Jinri? Did I dream that?” He’s staring at Soojung, already back on the border of hysteria. “Please tell me I dreamt that.”

“That was not a dream.” Soojung’s face is hard, set in stone as she tries not to break- but he can see that it is a battle she is quickly losing. “It was not a dream,” she repeats. But now it’s more for herself than for Jongin, more as a way to let it sink in, to make herself believe it.

Jongin doesn’t know what to do, only lets his heart hurt in the way that tells him that his heart is crying.

So Jongin follows his heart.

He cries.

Jongin finally meets her parents; they both look too stoic for two people who have just lost their baby girl.

He can’t help but blurt the question, with emotions running high and word filter already long gone. Jongin looks up at Jinri's parents, eyes red-rimmed and tear streaks apparent. There are no tears to be found on their faces. “Do you even care that your daughter died?”

“Silly girl,” Jongin hears her father mutter. “Who dies of bulimia?”

All Jongin feels in that instance is anger. “Choi Jinri was a beautiful person. It is a shame that you made her believe otherwise.”

He doesn’t get to say one last goodbye, doesn’t get to have at least one ounce of closure, doesn’t even get to see her one last time.

He gets nothing.

Nothing.

Jongin never gets to tell Jinri he loves her.

Soojung goes home that night, eyes tired from crying but soul still hysterically wailing and lamenting for the love that she had just lost.

Because Soojung sincerely loved Jinri in the way that only a best friend can sincerely love you.

And with that love, Soojung will always bear the weight of knowing her best friend has died for reasons of the mind, for fallacies that only negative thoughts and ridiculous expectations could bring. Soojung will always have pain in her heart for the beautiful soul that was Choi Jinri.

She lost not only a friend, but also a sister that night. She lost someone who she would give the world, who she cherished more than anyone else in this world.

She only wished that Jinri could have shared everything with her, that she could have helped her more.

A piece of her heart will always belong to Choi Jinri; it is a piece that will forever know love for the best friend who undeservingly had her life taken away.

Jung Soojung will always remember Choi Jinri.

He walks into his home, feeling drained and emotionally depleted.

Jongin walks quietly to his room and his attention is easily captured by the reflective glass that’s attached to his door. “Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” he asks, tone bitter and quiet.

There is no answer and he certainly wasn’t expecting one.

He sits in silence, unable to do anything but stare at his own reflection.

The anger builds slowly, looking at the piece of glass like it has personally wronged him- though, in a way, he guesses that it has. Because the mirror is the one who has betrayed Jinri, and that is a direct betrayal to Jongin.

He can’t stand the silence when the answer to his question is right on the tip of his tongue; it always has been, since the day he met her.

It’s a harsh whisper, one filled with so much truth and anger and hurt. “Choi Jinri.”

Her name echoes, loud and clear in the silence.

“Choi Jinri.”

Silence is all that he hears in return, with no Jinri to teasingly slap at him, with no Jinri he gets to see blush, with no Jinri and her amazing smile. There’s just silence.

It’s practically deafening.

Jongin has realized just how precious life is, how easy it is for someone to be there one moment, and then gone the next- never to be heard again. Never to be seen again. Never to live again.

And in realizing that, he has also become well acquainted with regret, with not getting to do or say the things that needed to be said or to do the things he so desperately wishes he could do now.

So he continues on with his life, living life to the fullest. He does so, mostly out of fear.

Of having the same thing happen to him once more; he has enough regret to last him a whole lifetime- and someone else's, as well.

It’s hard, on most days. And excruciatingly numb on the days where it’s not. But he keeps at it and moves on, the remembrance of Jinri’s beautiful smile giving him enough strength to move through the days.

Because he thinks about what would happen if their positions were switched, if he were to die. Jongin is empathetic, always has been. It comes with being a good judge of character; so when he thinks about how Jinri would react, how heartbreaking it would be to see her cry like how he had over their mutual loss- with her life and the love of his life-

He thinks about how he would never want to put anyone through the pain that comes with death, the pain that Jinri has unknowingly inflicted on him.

And so Jongin lives on. In body and in mind, but not quite in soul. His emotional scars never fully heal.

Because Jinri has taken a piece of him, a piece of his heart, that he will never- and can never- get back.

Kim Jongin will always love Choi Jinri.

A fairy tale is, by definition, something that denotes of magical, idealized happiness. It is a story of bliss, of happily ever after’s.

There are many different kinds, spanning from the many people that want them.

Not every girl wishes for a fairy tale, but in this case- Choi Jinri definitely did.

She had wished to live out a normal life, to be able to grow old and healthy with loved ones, to eventually be able to conquer her own demons.

She wished for a life where Jung Soojung would always be her best friend.

She even wished for a life with Jongin, in the long run. To be able to say that she loves him, to get married one day, to have the whole cliche love story.

Choi Jinri never got that fairytale.

-end.

intitial cards; "stop building on an idea that you're weak just because you need him. it's called love," + character death

community cards; high school au, psychological, "who sees the human face correctly: the photographer, the mirror, or the painter?" - pablo picasso

A/N:

with this, i have killed off two of my top female biases in two separate fics. if i can kill of jungli, i can kill off anyone ;o ohohoho...ho? ^^;; it didn't turn out the way i wanted to ;( i didn't get to flesh it out as much as i intially planned to, but i hope this little fic is still likable ;o

thanks for all the comments, thanks to all you lovelies that subscribed, and thanks for reading!

← Foreword

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-purplebunny #1 Jul 20, 2014 06:09:12

Chapter 1: I came back and read this again and ohmagah. The feels are still there despite having read this already. I love the simplicity and depth of this story. And it's written so well that every word makes a point, makes you feel things.
And the sadness. I really wish they got their fairytale.

Plus Jongin is just squeal worthy. I swear he killed me here plenty of times. I love love love his character.
Thank you for writing this. ♥

Ximenitazh #2 May 24, 2014 19:24:57

Chapter 1: This story was amazing ;-; I really enjoyed it <3 It was so full of emotions yet it felt so real and touching.
I really liked it, cant wait for more of your stories ^^

jinjin_sulli #3 May 24, 2014 13:47:07

OMG this was from my favorite stories ever thank you for sharing those amazing fanfic with us i remember that i cried really hard while reading this LOL

doofus #4 Oct 13, 2013 03:23:08

Chapter 1: wow i'm actually crying so hard. this is a really beautiful piece. i'm just gonna cry at how beautifully tragic this is. i'm glad a friend of mine recommended this because it is definitely worth reading. ♥

katawaredokis #5 Oct 4, 2013 19:54:37

Chapter 1: SOBSOB JINRI WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE WITHOUT LETTING JONGIN TELL YOU THAT HE LOVES YOU ;A; AUTHORNIM, YOU JUST BROKE MY HEART SOBS A RIVER

MY KOKORO IS BROKEN. GOOD JOB AUTHORNIM ; ;

azuraes #6 Oct 2, 2013 23:10:17

Chapter 1: I can't stop crying in this, Jinri gives up just even before Jongin have the chance to tell her that he loves her.. awww </3

babyblackrose #7 Oct 1, 2013 23:49:15

Chapter 1: dear god. It hurts like hell. :|
be back later, i need a lot of ice cream first to fix my broken heart.

jadoreautumn #8 Oct 1, 2013 10:48:28

Chapter 1: You're making me feel all sorts of emotion and that's good. Its heartbreaking. I don't usually feel sad when i'm reading a story but wow, your way with words got me breathless. This is very well-written. Totally one of the best kailli i've read. Hats off to you!