Rose sighed as she stepped into her apartment, dropping her bag onto the kitchen counter and sliding her cardigan from her shoulders onto the chair that was placed at the island. She ran a hand through her hair, scratching at her scalp. The day had been long and tiring, filled with standardized tests and assignments to grade, and all Rose wanted to do at that point was fall asleep for a week. That was out of the question, of course. She had too much to get done by Christmas break.

After stretching her arms out in an attempt to rid herself of some of her fatigue, Rose opened the fridge and grabbed some meat, rice, and vegetables that she had chopped the other day. She placed the items on the counter and got out a frying pan and a pair of chopsticks, turning the stove on and placing the pan on one of the burners. As soon as the pan was warm enough, she dumped the foods into the pan and began pushing them around, her stomach grumbling at the sight of food that would be ready within minutes. A few moments later, Rose turned the stove off and dumped the mixture of rice, meat, and vegetables into a bowl.

Footsteps leading from the living room to the kitchen made her tense up, her heart skipping a beat in fear and her hand automatically reaching for one of the knives kept in the drawer beside the stove. As far she knew, there had never been a break in in her complex, and the door hadn’t shown any signs of being picked or the like, but who would be in her home? Her parents would have called her, and none of her friends had a key. Jaehwan crossed her mind, but he was in Japan, or at least she thought he was. They hadn’t spoken at all in the past few months, so Rose wasn’t very sure where he was exactly. 

Even so, he would have called to tell her he was coming home… Right? So it couldn’t possibly be—

"Ah, it smells really nice, Jagiya! What did you cook?"

Rose could have sworn her heart stopped in that moment. Her hand dropped the knife back into the drawer, her whole body suddenly feeling very weak. She held onto the counter to support herself, biting her lip as she fought the tears building up in her eyes. The young woman let out a shaky breath to collect herself, but the effort was lost once the man she had missed so dearly came up behind her and turned her around by her shoulders.

Jaehwan gave her a weak smile as Rose stared at him, her brow furrowed and her lip quivering. His smile disappeared when he realized that the brown-eyed woman wasn’t angry like he had expected. No, she wasn’t angry at all. Her eyes her the furthest thing from angry; they were pained. Rose was hurting because of him, and Jaehwan knew it.

"I haven’t seen you, heard from you in ages," she cried, weakly smacking his chest with her fist. "And you just show up as if you never left. This isn’t fair, Jaehwan-ah. It isn’t fair!"

He embraced her then, holding her tightly against him as he rested his chin on the top of her head. Rose continued to cry and yell at him, though her words weren’t clear enough to make sense of. 

"I’m so sorry, Rose. I’m so sorry."

The last thing he wanted was to hurt her, but in the end that was exactly what he had done. He thought it would be better if neither of them contacted each other — wouldn’t they miss each other even more if they spoke? Jaehwan could see that it had been a stupid idea now. Not exchanging so much as a text had only hurt the both of them.

"I want to hate you for it, but I can’t. I really can’t." Rose choked out, squeezing a fist full of his shirt. 

Jaehwan just remained silent, listening to her spill out all of her feelings that had been bottled up since October. 

"I was hurting so much, you know that? But you must have been hurting too, right? Not being able to see you smile at me, not being able to laugh at your antics, not being able to eat with you— it was all killing me inside. Now, though, I’m really relieved. I was scared you wouldn’t be here for Christmas. It’ll be our first Christmas, remember?"

"I do."

Rose lifted her head from his chest and gazed up at him with watery eyes. “Can’t you say something more? I haven’t heard your voice in such a long time…” she bit her lip. “I really missed it. I really missed you, Jaehwan-ah.”

"I… I really missed you, too."

The English teacher stared into his eyes, looking as if she was searching for something in them. Slowly she lifted her hand up to cup Jaehwan’s cheek, rubbing her thumb across his cheek bone and using her other hand to run a finger over his lips. Not once had he flashed a smile other than the weak one that he gave her when she first got home. Rose wasn’t used to seeing him in such a serious state, and she wasn’t sure that she liked it. Jaehwan didn’t need to frown like he was now; he needed to smile, be happy. That was Jaehwan, and to think he was upset enough to not smile even once broke the young woman’s heart.

Tentatively, almost as if she was afraid he would disappear, Rose pressed her lips against Jaehwan’s, her heart pounding in her chest. She wanted to make all of his pain go away. If she could do that, she would be happy, and maybe her own pain would stop, too. 

Rose’s right hand clutched Jaehwan’s shirt tightly, her left hand still cupping his cheek. She tilted her head to the side, trying to get the man in front her to respond as she deepened the kiss. She poured everything she was feeling into that kiss. Happiness. Sorrow. Relief. Longing. 

Jaehwan felt it all.

Something seemed to click because soon he was wrapping his arms around her waist, moving his plump lips against Rose’s own. He lightly nipped at her bottom lip and finally did what Rose had wanted when she softly tapped his cheek. Jaehwan smiled into the kiss, amused. She always complained when he bit her lips because she thought it felt weird. 

Backing her up against a wall, Jaehwan finally broke the kiss, the two of them breathing heavily. His gaze traveled from her lips to her eyes, and he smiled. The woman in front of him slowly grinned back at him, a lone tear slipping down her cheek. The singer wiped it away with his thumb, resting his forehead against Rose’s after doing so.

"I was stupid to think cutting off contact would make this easier, and I’m so sorry, Rose-ah. Please don’t cry because of me." 

Rose closed her eyes as he kissed her again, this time being much more gentle. Her heart fluttered as she felt his hands rest on her hips and his lips leave her own only to rest against her neck softly. Jaehwan planted a few kisses on her neck, moving down to her shoulder that was conveniently exposed by her tank top. He carefully raked his teeth over her skin, not wanting to frighten her. A gasp escaped Rose’s lips, her hands coming up to clutch at Jaehwan’s arms. She didn’t make any move to stop him, so he continued on, lightly biting and kissing her shoulder and eventually moving down to her collar bone. 

His own heart was going crazy at what was happening. They had never gone this far, and he wasn’t quite sure if he should stop or not. Rose’s small gasps of surprise just kept egging him on, though, and it wasn’t long before Jaehwan’s hands were underneath her shirt, resting on her waist and slowly making their way up. Another gasp left Rose, and he took advantage of it, kissing her with an intensity she wasn’t used to. Her knees felt weak, and she felt like she might faint at any moment, but it was worth it. Being able to be this close to Jaehwan after months of being away… She had never felt so grateful.

Jaehwan’s hands stopped on her ribcage, slightly brushing against Rose’s chest. The young woman’s grip on his arms tightened, fear washing over her. Was she ready to go that far? Did she want to go that far just yet?

"It’s alright," Jaehwan rested his forehead against Rose’s once again, smiling down at her. "We don’t have to, so don’t worry."

A blush blossomed on Rose’s cheeks, challenging the red associated with her name. “I’m sorry.”

The man just shook his head, kissing the tip of her nose. “Don’t be. I’m happy with stopping here. Instead of doing that thing, I’d much rather eat dinner with my girlfriend.”

Taking Jaehwan by surprise, Rose launched herself at him, hugging him tightly and burying her face in his chest. She muttered something, but he wasn’t able to make it out.

"What did you say?"

"Welcome home, Jaehwan-ah." Rose mumbled louder, holding him more tightly at her words. "Next time, don’t make me wait so long, okay?"

A small laugh escaped his lips. “I won’t.”

"Promise?" The woman moved away from him just enough so that she could hold up her hand to him, lifting only her pinky. Jaehwan smiled, linking his pinking with Rose’s and touching his thumb to hers. 

"I promise."