Chapter I: Shooting Star

“Good morning sunshine!”

“ off.”

“Woah there princess.” Jongdae grinned as he slid a bowl of what looked a lot like molested intestines soaked in a soup with suspicious looking floating greens. “The next time I know you’re hungover I won’t be the concerned human being I am and make you soup anymore.”

Kyungsoo just frowned at his roommate before switching his attention back to the bowl of soup in front of him. It made Kyungsoo’s stomach churn in a bad way, he wanted to puke. And the fact that Jongdae wouldn’t stop his yapping was making his already throbbing head even worse. Kyungsoo had a very rough night and he really didn’t want to deal with any of his roommate’s . All he wanted to do was to have his morning coffee in peace and probably jump back in his bed and savor the warmth of his pororo life size plushie.

“I swear Jongdae if you don’t stop talking I will ing vomit in your closet and smear poison ivy all over your bed sheets.” He muttered as he tried to switch his attention somewhere else. The window seemed to be very amusing yet the morning sun just assaulted his eyes, almost as obnoxious as Jongdae’s grin at eight twenty two in the morning. Usually he would imagine listening to birds sing as the morning breeze danced along with the trees at that time of the day yet all he wanted to do was to punch the out of everything his eyes would lay on.

“You’re so pissy when you’re hungover.” Jongdae paused. “Well you’re always pissy, but you’re worse when you drink. Why did you even drink the first place? You and Chanyeol were supposed to be the designated drivers but both of you tards drank the most.”

Kyungsoo glared at the elder. He really wasn’t in the mood to talk about what happened the night before, not when all he could think about was how Jongin peppered kisses on Sehun’s jaw as the younger arched with every touch. Kyungsoo wanted to cry yet he had always know crying was overrated and he would rather smash Jongin’s face than shed a tear. Chanyeol’s trembling figure caged in his arms right after they decided to take a walk out the parking lot because the bar they were in got a little too suffocating was still very clear in his memory. Little did they know the outside wasn’t any better. Sometimes Kyungsoo really loathed having a good memory. Remembering had always been the hardest.

Jongdae looked at his friend, eyes grazed with weariness. He was very well aware of what had transpired the night before and he knew Kyungsoo would never bring anything up. He would just usually let it go but Kyungsoo was his best friend and the mess that the younger was getting himself into was not something Jongdae would just choose to overlook. Kyungsoo might have looked like he could battle the whole world with just words and glares, yet Jongdae had always known better. Jongdae had always known that Kyungsoo was as vulnerable as a newborn puppy. With just one touch, from the wrong person, Do Kyungsoo could break into tiny pieces.

“It’s none of your business Jongdae.” Kyungsoo replied, almost a whisper as he unconsciously start picking on his soup. He finally recognized that the chopped up greens were parsley and green onions – it made his head spin even more.

“Come on Kyungsoo. I know about you and Jongin. . Everybody does.”

Kyungsoo just eyed the elder. Denying would be very hypocritical yet he wasn’t exactly if there was anything to admit in the first place. Jongin and him – it sounded so real yet so distant. It was almost like watching the stars sparkle in the dark, night sky smiling at the fact that those balls of air were thousands of light years away from where he was standing. Usually, Kyungsoo would find it stupid yet something about Jongin just seemed to make him forget all his inhibitions and all his skeptics.

Forget.

The word somehow made Kyungsoo’s heart clench, hands shivering as it craved for something to scribble on. His head was almost screaming loud notes grazed with crescendos. 

crescendo - a gradual increase in loudness*****

Maybe hypocrisy hidden behind a façade made up clandestine memories was the better choice.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Jongdae.”

Jongdae watched his friend intently, eyes questioning every move Kyungsoo would make. Kyungsoo had always been secretive and remote, yet Jongdae had always been able to read the younger. He wasn’t called the best friend slash roommate for a reason and he hated how Kyungsoo would just blatantly push everybody away then act so motherly after like nothing just happened. Jongdae would sometimes say that he was getting tired of his best friend’s albeit he would still found himself sticking to Kyungsoo at the end of the day. Maybe it was just him and his masochism.

“You know what I’m talking about Kyungsoo. It’s not like you weren’t ogling Jongin ever since the first day Sehun introduced his boyfriend to us. You know me Kyungsoo. I couldn’t really give any more if you dated whoever the you want but damn it, it’s Jongin, Kyungsoo. Jongin. Sehun’s boyfriend.” Jongdae sighed. He could keep talking all day but he knew Kyungsoo would never listen. He would just raise a white flag if he owned any. “Look Kyungsoo. I know Sehun is not exactly into commitment at the moment but please, just please, you have got to stop this. Or at least talk to Sehun. He’ll understand.”

“What if I don’t want to?”

Maybe Jongdae would pass by the store on his back to purchase a white flag.

Jongdae just shrugged. “It’s up to you. Like you said, it’s not of my business right?” With that, the elder walked towards the door, still in his pajamas. “I’m going to Junmyeon’s.” He even added before the door closed behind him.

Kyungsoo smirked, slightly flinching when he finally decided to take a spoonful of the soups his roommate made for him. It wasn’t that bad, not as bad as Chanyeol or Sehun’s cooking yet it wasn’t something Kyungsoo would want to eat when he had a pounding headache or maybe not even he was perfectly okay. The taste reminded him of a hot summer afternoon, humidity at its peak and tripping on his own foot, falling face first on the grassy lawn of their neighbor.

He pulled out his phone from the pocked of the hoodie he was wearing and sent a text to Jongdae.

“Thanks for the soup. It tasted like crap but it’s edible.” A smile was plastered on his lips as he typed the next part of his message. “And you don’t exactly tell me any about your love affairs. Say hi to Junmyeon for me.”

It was almost an hour later when Jongdae sent him a reply.

“Touché.”

*******

It started on Byun Baekhyun’s birthday party, three weeks after Sehun introduced his new boyfriend to the pack. It started on that night when everybody got so drunk; nobody could even recognize the difference between hot sauce and catsup anymore. It started on that night when Minseok groggily ran to the bathroom and started throwing up, eyes and ears as red as the bottle of what he thought was catsup that he poured all over his chicken wings. It started on that night when Kyungsoo just sat in one corner, watching his friends in their natural habitat – laughing their asses off something so trivial as they poured alcohol down their throats – as he grinned and scribbled notes on his music sheets. It started on that night when Jongin sat in another corner, squished in between a drunken Baekhyun who wouldn’t quit screaming, singing songs Jongin believed never actually existed and a passed out Junmyeon, cradling a pack of chips as he mumbled in his sleep. It started on that night when Jongin watched his boyfriend, Sehun, resting his head on Chanyeol’s lap as the elder ran his fingers through multi-colored hair cackling when Jongdae did some sort of  impersonation of a celebrity he had never heard about. It started on that night when Jongin scanned the whole area to look for anybody that was coherent enough for him to talk to. It started on that night when Kyungsoo’s heart stopped beating as he drew another sforzando over his half note when he watched a familiar, bright smile approached him.

“Hey. You’re not drunk right?” It was a familiar, sweet, soothing voice that Kyungsoo would usually think of when he watched the stars sparkle in the night sky, hoping for an unusual meteor that would create a beautiful white line across the heavens, giving him a sign that he still had the right to wish.

There was a nod, and the next thing he knew, they were at the rooftop of Baekhyun’s apartment sharing the bag of chips Jongin managed to snatch from Junmyeon’s deadly grip. Kyungsoo would pout when he noticed the absence of stars that night, but pouting had never been his thing.

“Well this .” Raspy voice, finally, broke the silence Kyungsoo had been wallowing in the last fifteen minutes. Usually, he would hear music in everything – from the simple chirps of birds to Chanyeol getting his own limbs tangled and falling down on his face accompanied by cackles from their other friends – yet that night seemed to quiet, so mellow, it almost made Kyungsoo want to run.

“What does?”

“There are no stars.” Jongin switched his attention from the dark skies to Kyungsoo, smile brightening up Kyungsoo’s dark world. “I like stars.”

I know.

“Really?”

“Yes. They’re pretty cool you know. They’re thousands of lightyears away from earth but we can still see them shine. Plus I’m pretty sure night sky would be extremely boring without stars in it.” Jongin sighed. “Like right now.”

“So are you implying that I’m boring you?”

Jongin snapped his attention back to Kyungsoo and started giggling. Kyungsoo almost felt like his heart was going to burst as the younger’s laugh created a static through every fiber of his being. It was too familiar yet too distant. It reminded him of chocolate and vanilla ice cream smeared all over sun-kissed skin as two boys ran around a long forgotten grassy lawn. It reminded him of an autumn morning, bowls of instant ramen, and bright smile illuminating a small fort made out of pillows and blankets.

“Hyung you’re s adorable.”

Kyungsoo huffed.

“Say that again and I will slit your throat and throw off this building.”

Jongin smirked. “Don’t care. You’re adorable. And no, you’re not boring me. I like your company.” The younger paused, eyes travelling from Kyungsoo’s round eyes to the elder’s plump lips before switching his attention back to the sky. “You remind me of a lot of things you know. Things like how I used to love star gazing, and chocolate ice cream, and kimchi spaghetti, and-“ Jongin would have kept going with his list if not for the very unusual string of light that created a beautiful contrast against the dark, cloudy heavens.

“Did you see that Jongin?”

“I think so?”

“A shooting star.”

A shooting star.

Something Kyungsoo had always been longing to see, a sign that he had been yearning to get. Maybe he did still have the right to wish yet every time his eyes would avert to the boy on his right, he would feel his world crashing down the pit of oblivion he had been keeping clandestine deep inside his past, beyond the dark horizons of the memories he had treasured yet loathed. He would wish he could forget, yet he his heart was a little too faster than his brain.

 I wish he would remember.

“Hyung did you make a wish?”

“Did you?”

“Of course.”

“What did you ask for?”

“For time to stop ticking.” Jongin looked at the elder’s round eyes, seeking for something he really wasn’t sure about. Breathing had suddenly became harder that it would usually be as his head spun around circles of familiar yet unrecognizable feelings. It was almost like he was drowning in a trench of uncertainties and myriad of peculiar thoughts. “I kind of want to stay just like this a little bit longer.”

“With me?”

Jongin reached for Kyungoo’s cheeks, caressing the soft expanse of skin before covering the elder’s eyes with his palm. Kyungsoo started thinking of the morning sun, the spring breeze, and grassy lawns. Nocturne Op. 32 started playing in his head once more, thinking of the figure still drawn on his music sheet slowly coming to flesh – bronze skin that looked so perfect in the midst of bright stage lights, gleaming smile that could battle the northern lights, eyes sparkling under the dim moonlit sky peppered with luminous stars as limbs and arms swayed gracefully along the music making Kyungsoo’s heart stop with every move. It almost felt like a dream, yet he had always known how to distinguish dreams from his broken reality though he could never really stop wishing for his forgotten dreams to come true.

“Yes, with you.”

Kyungsoo felt a little empty when the palm left his eyes yet he almost wanted to run when he realized how close Jongin’s face was with his. The younger’s eyes were uncertain and speaking words Kyungsoo couldn’t seem to comprehend – maybe it was just his imagination or maybe it was his silent wish slowly coming true – his plump lips were slightly parted, as if inviting, seducing Kyungsoo to lean in and plunge into an abyss of temporary euphoria.

“Kiss me.”

Jongin smiled. Kyungsoo fell into the abyss.

It was supposed to be just a short, chaste kiss yet both wanted more. Kyungsoo would blame the cold night breeze when he felt his whole body shiver and his arms slowly s around Jongin’s neck albeit the fact that it was the younger’s touch that was turning his mind into a haywire. Jongin would blame the absence of stars when he saw sparkles behind his closed eyelids, ignoring the verity that it was Kyungsoo’s plump lips on his that was making him see beyond the horizon. Maybe it was just the spur of the moment, a mirage that went a little too far yet both knew it was neither more than just an imagination nor an impulse – not when their hearts were both almost racing out of their chests, creating rhythms that would harmonize along music only the two of them could hear. Kyungsoo would blame the cold weather when he curled up next to Jongin and buried his face in the crook of the younger’s neck though his mind had already concluded that he had been yearning for the boy’s touch as they laid down on the old hammock sitting in one corner of the rooftop. Jongin would blame the dark clouds, hovering in the heavens, creating a mask that covered his beloved stars when he felt like he was watching a meteor shower when his encircled his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist yet it was already given that Kyungso was more than just a meteor shower.

“Sing for me Hyung.”

“Mmhm.”

D#           Dm          Cm          Gm

Kyungsoo started humming the same tune he had been singing since the day where all the nostalgias and forgotten memories started clawing out of the threshold of his past. It ws the song he couldn’t seem to finish, lyrics that he could never seem to write – it was frustrating yet Kyungsoo felt an uncertain bliss every time he would hum the tune and think of stars and bright smiles.

D#           Dm          Cm          Gm

Jongin fell asleep with Kyungsoo in his arms. For once in his life, he felt a little too close to perfection. How he really wished time would just stop ticking. It was asking for too much yet Jongin believed it wasn’t wrong to wish, to hope, that maybe, just maybe his dreams would also come true. Whereas Kyungsoo had never really settled on what he really wanted. He wished for him to remember yet he was also wishing that they could just both forget – both leading to a dead end romanticists would call a heartache.

He should stop.

D#           Dm          Cm          Gm

Kyungsoo left Jongin a chaste kiss before the sun even started shinning, walking away with a heart heavy with regrets and restrained emotion.

Despite all the struggle, walking away had never been enough.

The next day wasn’t what Kyungsoo expected. He really wasn’t sure how but Jongin managed to drag him to an empty classroom in the science building and had him caged between the younger’s strong arms. Kyungsoo would blame all the running for his rapidly beating heart yet what else could he blame for the mesmerizing look the younger was giving him. Jongin’s eyes were chocolate brown, grazed with vague emotions Kyungsoo had always wanted to evade, yet Kyungsoo had always known that borderlines and limits had been drawn between the two of them a long time ago – even before Sehun and Jongin happened. He drew it himself, he should know.

“Last night-“

“Was a mistake.” Kyungsoo’s eyes diverted to the ceiling. He almost laughed when he saw the makeshift solar system hovering above them – fate really had its own to its cruelness. “We should just pretend it never happened.”

Jongin hoped, wished for something else – not a pang in his chest as he lowered his arms and slowly reached for the elder’s hands. He would trade the stars just to feel what Kyungsoo made him experience the previous night yet he knew he didn’t own the stars nor did he possess anything that was even a little close to a treasure that was Do Kyungsoo.

“I’ll break up with Sehun if that’s what’s bothering you.” Jongin laced his fingers with the elder’s. “I’ll explain everything to him. Sehun and I wasn’t anything serious, everybody knows that. They would understand. But you-“

“No.”

“You’re different.”

“No.”

“You make me feel things that would drive me crazy, familiar feelings that I can’t explain.”

“No.”

“I lied about my wish.”

“No. No. No.”

“I wished for you and it was granted.”

“No! God damn it Jongin!”

“Hyung. I like you.”

“Please don’t.” Crying had always been overrated yet Kyungsoo forgot that he was still the vulnerable he had always been. “You can’t okay? You can’t fall for me. Don’t break up with Sehun. He seems to like you a lot.”

“Sehun doesn’t give a about our relationship. We both know who he’s in love with.”

Kyungsoo reached for the younger’s face, caressing the sun-kissed expanse of skin, drawing circles down the jaw before settling his fingers on Jongin’s chin. It only took him a split second before he fell in another abyss, something even deeper than the first yet he knew he would find his way out. Just this once, the last one – he said though he seemed to have lost the sight of the light at the end of the dark path when Jongin’s lips started caressing his. With each touch, he fell even deeper, dodging the warnings his brain would throw at him, ignoring every admonition he thought he had already engraved in his head yet his heart had always been the betrayer he had never wanted.

“Let’s .. let’s not do this again okay?” was all he could muster when the kiss ended.

“Okay.” Jongin smiled.

What else could be any better than a deal sealed with a kiss?

“Yeah. Let’s not do this again.” Jongin even said when they parted, finally letting go of Kyungsoo’s hand.

They both lied.

Everything happened again, and again, and again – in between classes where Jongin would wait for Kyungsoo down the hall and drag the elder to the science building and pin him against the wall grazing his lips with a bruising kiss. It happened after Kyungsoo’s work where Jongin would sit in one of the darkest corner of the bar with a smile illuminating Kyungsoo’s whole being. It just kept happening that Kyungsoo lost track of how deep he was in the abyss losing the sight of the stars, relying on the luster of the smile he once wished to forget.

*****

“Good morning!” Jongin wanted to run when he heard a familiar voice booming in his head.

“Shut up Chanyeol. It’s too early for your .” Sehun groaned.

“Mornin’.” Jongin rubbed his eyes and stood up from the gray velvet couch he had been laying on, head throbbing and knees almost wobbly. “Did I like .. get hit by a truck last night? My whole body hurts.”

“That’s what you get for getting tricked by Jongdae.” Baekhyun huffed. Jongin thought about how he fell into Jongdae’s trap and had a drinking game with the elder, dragging Sehun in the misery he was in. “I had to drag your home, along with these two tards.” The elder pointed at Chanyeol and Sehun who didn’t look any better than he did.

“Ugh Baekhyun your voice is too chirpy.” Sehun groaned from Chanyeol’s lap.

“Well too bad you’re stuck with me since Kyungsoo is too drunk to take care of you three.”

The familiar name automatically drew a smile on Jongin’s lips yet guilt started creeping up on him when his eyes averted on the boy in the other side of the room. Sehun had always been a great friend to Jongin and when their relationship became a little more than just plain classmates he thought it was going to be great yet there came round eyes, plump lips, beautiful voice and loveable smile. There came Kyungsoo who just glared and threatened his way into Jongins grayscale life, adding sparkles as bright as the stars.

“Sehun-ah, are you coherent enough to talk.”

“No Jongin. I just want everybody to shut up and let me sleep. I don’t have the strength to deal with anybody’s right now.”

“Let’s talk here then.”

“No.”

“Let’s break up.”

“Nope.”

“What?”

“Wait what did you say?” Sehun finally got up from Chanyeol’s lap and crawled towards him. It was quite a scene and Baekhyun didn’t pass the chance of recording the whole thing.

“Let’s break up.”

Sehun looked up to him with an O formed on his thin lips before the younger started laughing.

“Wait. I thought I already broke up with you?”

“Huh?”

“At Baekhyun’s party?” Sehun looked at Jongin with questioning eyes. “Riiiiiight?”

Jongin’s head started spinning faster. Baekhyun’s party was at least two weeks ago and he was more than sure that he was sober enough to remember everything that had happened that night. There was no break-up. There was just a shooting star and Kyungsoo’s pillowy lips on his. There was just Kyungsoo, and him, nothing else.

“I don’t remember such thing happening?”

“Dude. Pretty sure you were talking to the wall that night.” Baekhyun’s laugh hollered in the entire room, making Sehun flinch.

“Yah! Byun Baekhyun!”

“I’m older than you!”

“I do not care! Shut the up! You’re voice is making my nerves want to punch you in the face.”

“Well you little .” Baekhyun was about to launch himself on Sehun who was seemed to like the feeling of the gray shag rag in the middle of their living room against his face when Jongin shot the two with a glare.

“Will you two stop? Lover boy here wants his break up.” Chanyeol smirked before picking Sehun up from the floor and carrying the younger on the couch.

“Thank you.” Jongin shook his head. “So you mean you technically broke up with me at Baekhyun’s party?”

Sehun nodded.

“So I have been single in the last two weeks.”

Another nod.

“Well .”

“You should go to Kyungsoo.” It was Chanyeol that looked at him with eyes cavorting from regret and fear, and something else Jongin really wasn’t sure about. “I believe we witnessed something we shouldn’t last night.  Kyungsoo wasn’t pleased.”

Jongin seemed to forget about the hangover and sprinted towards the familiar apartment a couple of floors below.

*****

A/N:
sorry the update took forever ,. work's just been draining my humanity and keeping me from writing anything worth reading
so please guys, DO NOT WORK AT A COMMUNITY PHARMACY YOU WILL DIE OR END UP MURDERING SOMEBODY
kidding

also thanks for the subscribing! 
and a friendly reminder that i wasnt exactly very coheren when i wrote this chapter
the middle part was written while I was literally, sittiing in one corner of my shower
the last part was written right after I took my cold medicine so I'm pretty much high atm

i  will try and make up with the next chapters I promise 

also, please do comment and upvote!

xoxo - rin