2PM - 오늘 하루만 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nttz41xIRyA

AN: red is for the lyrics, grey is for flashback.

Hope you like it :)

My eyes fluttered open as I felt the sun penetrates through my slightly opened curtain and blinded me, forcing me to wake up as it was already morning.

No, scratch that.

It was noon already, I realized when I glanced at the numbers on my digital clock on my bed side. It's 12.30 PM. I sighed and turned my body around, avoiding the sunlight and closed my eyes again.

"Yah! Are you going to sleep in again??" I waited for her voice but greeted by none. 

I opened my eyes and stared at the door, as if someone would barge in and drag me out of my bed with her usual nag. But still, there's none. The air around me was filled with hopelessness as I felt my eyes moistened and finally tears come.

I knew that no matter how I wished for the opposite, she's just not here.

My eyes are blinded by the sunlight

As soon as I wake up and open my eyes, tears come

I sighed and pushed away my comforter, forcing myself to get up from the bed. Soon I was greeted by an empty living room right when I opened the door and walked out from my bedroom. 

Trying to ignored the screaming silence around me, I headed to the kitchen.

"Coffee? We ran out of cream syrup, do you mind a black coffee instead?" She frowned her forehead as she looked at me.

Again, my mind was playing tricks on me. Because now in front of me was just an empty kitchen. An empty kitchen with dirty dishes all around.

No coffee.

No her. 

Again today, without you

My day starts and once again, tears come

I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and intended to walk out of the kitchen, before my mind decided to give me another irresistable memory. But as I was about to close the fridge, I turned back and put back the water.

Instead, I grabbed a bottle of soju.

I threw my body on the couch and gulped down the drink. A burned sensation filled my throat as the supposedly pleasant liquids flowed in my system. 

What kind of loser drink the moment they wake up?

I do.

I heard my phone rang from inside my room. I rushed to my bedroom and answered the call.

"Yeah?"

"You fine there?" Junho's voice greeted me the moment I placed the phone on my ear.

"Why?"

"You know..."

"Of course I'm fine, why shouldn't I be fine?" I said defensively.

"Don't lie.."

"Really, I'm fine.." I said sounding as happy as I could be, I even put on a fake smile even though there's no one here.

"Okay, if that's what you're saying. I'll come by later with the guys okay?"

"Come on, I don't need anyone to throw me a pityparty and s like that. I'm completely fine."

"Come with us then, we'll be at the usual restaurant for lunch. Meet us there."

"Yeah yeah.." I said indifferently.

"If you don't, we'll just knocked down your apartment door and drag you with us."

"I'll come, you crazy guy. Haha." I tried to laugh but even to me it sounded dry. And fake.

"We'll be waiting~" He said it in a singsong way and hanged up.

I don't want to be pitied by anyone, especially my friends. And that's why I should just go and satisfy what they want.

If they want to see me happy again, then fine.

I'll act happy in front of them.

I didn't want people to see me staggering

I pushed the restaurant door and greeted by an over-the-top hand waving that could only done by none other than my dearest friend, Lee Junho, "Wooyoung! Here!"

I rolled my eyes. Did he think I couldn't notice them or what? Anyone wouldn't miss a group of fully growned up guys who were chatting loudly like high school girls. 

I pulled a chair next to Khun and grabbed the menu, trying to ignore everyone's stare, "I'm fine thank you, and let's just eat."

"Next is noraebang! Let's go!" It's Junho again. He won't stop dragging me with them around the city until he's completely sure that I'm fine, which was completely ridiculous.

I am fine. 

I sang.

I danced.

I drank.

I sang again.

I danced again.

I drank again.

See that, guys? I am freaking fine.

Until her song was played.

"Wooyoung-ah! Let's sing this together!" She threw me the mic and pulled me up.

I try to live like a person who's completely fine, but..

"I think I'll be going first." I put the mic on the table and walked away, ignoring the protest everyone was throwing at me.

The ride back to my apartment felt like forever, with every single things on the street reminded me of her.

Our first meeting.

and.. our last.

I closed my door with a loud bang, not caring if my neighbours would be angry at the noise. I grabbed every last bottles of soju I found in my fridge and brought it to my living room.

I had enough. I couldn't force myself not think about her anymore.

I'll just embrace my memories with her tonight. Again.

First bottle.

"Wooyoung-ah, does this dress look good on me?"

Second bottle.

"Wooyoung-ah, thank you for the song, I like it so much.."

Third bottle.

"Wooyoung-ah, what do you want for dinner?"

Fourth bottle.

"Wooyoung-ah, I love you.."

I will live like this just for today

Just for today, I'll live like this

I can't do anything

I sat at the floor with my head looked up onto the ceiling, holding in my tears that were threaten to fall anytime soon. Crying is for children, or girls, a man shouldn't cry.

I looked around the room and my eyes fell onto the pile of dishes I've been ignoring in the kitchen. I shifted my glance towards my work studio and realized for the first time that it's been so long since the last time I visited it, leaving the unfinished songs and recordings untouched.

Starting tomorrow, I will do my overdue cleaning chores

I'll start working on the things I put down

I stood up and approached the room. The door creaked open when I pushed it slightly. I flipped the light switch on and reached out to a photo frame that was on the table just right next to my computer.

Her smiling face greeted me.

I'll try to live, I'll try to do that

Staring at the picture for longer than couple of minutes was excruciating. 

"Why did you leave?"

"You said you love me. WHY DID YOU LEAVE?!"

My hoarse voice echoed throughout the apartment, but there's only silence answered me.

Though it's pathetic

Just for today

I hug her picture, when it was her I want to actually hug and never let go.

I looked around the room again as her voice once again slipped into my mind, "You're such a neat freak. How could you clean this room everyday when you're that busy?"

Yeah she would be laughing right now if she saw what happened to this room.

After you left, I've gotten used to living like this every day

My ruined schedule, my messy room and my broken heart

I try to hold onto those things, I want to live properly, but..

A particular object at the corner of the room perked up my attention. I reached the medium sized box on the very top of the wood shelf and put it down on the floor.

Waves of memories of our times together rushed in when I opened the box and saw what's in it.

"What is that?" I asked her when she handed me the box a year ago.

"Our memories. Keep it safe, okay. Take it as your amulet or something, haha."

Pictures.

Movie tickets.

Even a 100 won coin I jokingly gave her when she asked me for our anniversary gift.

and...

My tears welled up again as I pulled out our couple tshirt.

"This is so cheesy!" I said.

"Blame it to Junho! He gave it for us!"

We wore it once. Just once, and it was to make Junho happy.

But I could still feel her scent coming from it..

I fell on to my knees and burst out in tears. This was too much. It feels like she's here with me, enveloping me with her scent.

"Cry, Woo.. it will make you feel better.."

I want her here.

Now.

I will live like this just for today

Just for today I'll live like this

I can't do anything

Tears were still falling uncontrollably as I keep on begging for her to come back, to embrace me once again.

To relive the moment of our times together.

But no matter how hard I beg, no matter how loud I screamed, I got no answer.

I knew very well that I shouldn't be like this.

It's been more than six months since she left.

I should've put our memories away.

I should've moved on.

But everyday was still as hard as the first day she left.

Everything was still the same even when I realized that she weren't going to come back.

I still couldn't get myself to look away from her trace.

I said I'd do it, but the memories and recollections of you aren't even halfway filled

Because if I put everything back in place

I'm scared I won't even get to long for you

So again today, I live like this

I curled up on the floor, not caring that the dusty floor would dirty my shirt. I let everything out.

Every single tears I have left in me, I cried it for her.

Just like I did that day.

When that drunken fool stepped on his gas pedal.

When I screamed and ran for your life.

When you turned back and looked at me in a split seconds before the car ran into you.

When I froze in my place with red everywhere.

When I watched how the life slowly seeped away from your eyes.

From the moment I open my eyes in the morning, I'll remember you

I'll realize that you left and feel resigned

Your spot is still there as if time stopped

As if everything froze, it's the same as when we were together

The pain and memories you left in my empty heart are still so clear to me

I just wanna go back

My days without you just wither away like a wilted flower

Come back to me like before

I heard rushed footsteps from outside the room and soon after I felt myself surrounded by Junho and the others.

Some were on their knees besides me, some were standing against the wall with heads hung low. Watching me, and maybe joined me, crying painfully.

I cried for my love.

I cried for our memories.

I cried for our life together.

I cried for the future me and her could never have.

Just one more day

Just until today, I'll live like this..