1.
Why Must Love Be So Hard?"But I love you.....Cho hyeon..." Luhan stared at you with puppy eyes.
"Why can't you love me back?" Luhan clinged onto your arm.
"I'm sorry Luhan. Goodbye for the last time." You said, tearing up as you let go of his arm and walked away, tears streaming down your face. You didn't dare to look back. You knew once you stared at Luhan crying you would give in.
You strolled through the streets of Seoul with your head drooping down and made my way to nightschool.
You entered the class. "Oh. Hi." A voice said and I looked up.
"Hi baekkie." You said as you sat down beside him.
A week passed. You had gotten closer to Baekhyun as the both of you spent more time together.
A month passed, and you started feeling something more than a friend to Baekhyun.
One day at the park, Baekhyun hugged you from the back when you sat on the swings.
"Cho hyeon ah..." He said sweetly and you looked up to him.
"Yeah?"
"Would you be my girlfriend?" Baekhyun asked.
Luhan froze on the spot. Please don't say yes.....
"Yes." You said and smiled brightly to Baekhyun.
Luhan's heart shattered into a million pieces and he dropped his phone onto the ground. Afraid that you heard something, he picked it up and quickly ran away. He was at the park just to get some fresh air but he didn't know it could be this.
He turned to look back. His eyes squinted and tears started to form in his eyes.
He watched as you locked lips with Baekhyun.
Luhan clutched his heart. Why does falling in love have to be so hard?
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"Luhan?"
"Luhan?"
"Luhan are you okay?"
Luhan heard a voice and stirred, waking up.
"Oh. Hello." Luhan stared at you with a straight face. He knew you could see the dried tears on his face but he didn't care.
"What are you doing here?"
"Nothing." Luhan said and stared on the ground.
You thought for a moment. Does it mean he saw me with....Baekhyun?
"You didn't...see me....did you?" You asked worriedly.
"I did." Luhan said and stood up before walking away.
"But...."
"I don't know why, but love hurts so much."
You were left there dumbfounded.
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You muched on your ham and egg sandwich as you watched the morning news.
"23-year-old boy gets knocked down by car."
What? You turned to the TV screen.
You squinted at the boy. He had orange hair. Didn't luhan had orange hair too?
"The doctors said he couldn't be saved."
What was all this?
You rushed to the hospital and asked the reception for Luhan's ward number.
"I'm sorry, he couldn't be saved by the doctors so his body is going to be sent to cremated soon."
"I just want to see him for the last time..."
"What's your relationship with him?"
"A......friend...."
You ran to his ward and saw him peacefully lying on his the hospital bed, bandaged everywhere.
"I'm sorry....I'm sorry I caused you to be like this....I'm sorry if you saw what I did to Baekhyun....I'm sorry if you still love me..." You sobbed in between your words.
You saw a letter on the small table beside his bed. "Hmm? What is this?"
"To: My one and only first love, Cho Hyeon."
Your tears were about to fall out any second now, and exited the hospital before you cried in front of Luhan.
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"Cho Hyeon..." Baekhyun sounded serious.
"I need to tell you something."
"I have a day to live."
"What? Why?"
"I have......leukemia..."
"Why?" You couldn't believe what you had just heard.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier...but take this letter before I go. I'll always love you Cho Hyeon."
"No! I want to be there when you have your last breath!"
"I don't want you to see me suffer, Cho hyeon-ah, I love you so much."
"No! Don't go!" You said as tears streamed down your face.
"I'm sorry, Cho Hyeon. Bye for the last time."
You opened the letters when you reached home.
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To: my only lover, cho hyeon.
It's the 5th day you're attached with baekhyun... What happened to us, exactly?
Remember the first time we met? You fell and was bleeding real badly. I took care of you, and gently bandaged your wounds. Haha, you were so careless.
To be honest, I didn't expect to see you in the same school. I thought we would never meet again. You looked so cute when you were figuring out who I was.
And when you finally recalled, and went, "Ah~ Luhan!" My heart instantly melted at your sweet voice.
I didn't know I would fall so hard for you Cho Hyeon, I really didn't know.
The way your face shines when you smile, it's just too attractive.
Do you remember the day I confessed? I was so elated when you said yes. I felt like I was the luckiest man in earth. Being with you was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I promised myself to give you the best of the best, best of my ability I could give you.
I swear to God, I tried my very, very best to be the ideal boyfriend every girl wished that they could have.
When you were sad, I said my shoulders are always here for you to cry on.
When you were happy, I said I would always be physically there to celebrate with you.
When you were bored, I said I would be a phone call away and I would accompany you to shop or whatsoever.
When you were angry, I said I would be the dummy doll that you could vent your angry to.
But Cho Hyeon... What happened?
It hurts me so, so much when I realized you no longer feel the same way as I do towards you... after you met baekhyun.
I thought your feelings would stay the same.
I thought we were meant to be.
I thought...
But after baekhyun entered into your life, everything changed.
Just why, Cho Hyeon, why?
Because of him, we rarely had conversations.
Because of him, we don't meet up as much as before.
Because of him, I could only watch you from a distance.
And because of him... I felt really insecure... because I know... I know that he likes you.
We couldn't even have lunch together.
It really hurts me a lot, cho hyeon ah.
Were our bonds not strong enough, cho hyeon?
Please tell me what I've did wrong.
Tell me what baekhyun has that I don't. I'll try to fill that up.
I'm begging you, cho hyeon.
I can't afford to lose you, I really can't.
Every time I see you with him, it was as if my heart was smashed against a wall full of knives continuously.
But, as long as you're happy with him.. I don't mind.
Always remember, I'm here for you.
I will always love you, Cho Hyeon.
— From, your Luhan, forever and always <3
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To: My Cho hyeonnie. <3
Hey, my goddess, Cho Hyeon.
You must be thinking why I wrote this letter, am I right?
Call me gutless, call me a coward. Call me anything you want, but please continue reading.
Do you miss me? I hope you are already missing me, 'cos I am.
You do know that I'm thinking of you every second, right?
I can't imagine that this day would come.
Do you know how afraid I was, when the doctor announced right in my face that I was diagnosed with leukemia?
Why me? I was really scared, Cho Hyeon.
I didn't know what to do.
Yes, it's curable. But what I worried most was what you would think of me.
Would you change your feelings towards me?
Would you runaway from me?
Would you despise me?
Would you... would you return to Luhan's side?
Of course, I want you to be happy and all.
But I want to be that man who's able to give you the happiness you want.
Because I love you.
I can't help but to recall the day we met, at the café. Do you have any memories on that? Considering that you're forgetful, I don't think you do. Haha.
I remembered that the place was really crowded, all the tables & seats were taken up.
And I was alone, then I saw you.
That beautiful pair of eyes you got, searching for an empty seat.
That little fragile hands of yours, clenching tight on the tray, with a filled latte and a small piece of chocolate cake.
Then, you spotted me. Because of the seat in front of me. I was actually hoping you would approach me and ask if the seat was taken! Haha.
I remembered clearly of whatever we talked about on that lovely day.
It was lovely because I met you.
You were my first genuine friend I made, without knowing what kind of background I had.
Time really flies when you're with someone you like.
After you left, I was thinking...
Was it fate, that let us meet?
Well, for me, I think so.
I wished so hard that I could meet you again.
And that day came, but I saw you with another guy who said he's your boyfriend.
I... I didn't know what I should feel.
Ah... What am I talking about.
I have you, for now. At least.
Honestly, I felt really bad when I became the third party in your relationship with luhan.
I didn't mean to... Trust me.
But, I felt that you were happier with me. So I continued asking you out. I know, and I can see that luhan is heart broken. He really was.
I noticed how he walked away silently when we are having lunch together.
I saw how he was really happy eventhough it was just a simple "hi" from you.
I felt really bad... But how can I refrain myself from doing that?
I'm with the love of my life.
I'm selfish, I know that, Cho Hyeon.
Remember that night at the park, I said i was in love with you? I was expecting you to reject, but you didn't.
I was really excited that I gave you my first kiss.
One day, Luhan approached me, told me to take care of you and etc.
Then I realized, I shouldn't be doing this. My actions were wrong.
I'm snatching away someone else's happiness, ruining someone's world.
But how would I know at first?
You love me.
And, I was so deeply in love with you that I couldn't pull myself out.
No one can, and no one will.
My world came crashing down, when I heard the word leukemia.
I didn't want you to suffer with me.
I was thinking all night if I should just let you go... Although I know I can't bear to.
Cho Hyeon ah, you know I love you a lot right?
You know that I would be that someone who would put your happiness first, right?
Luhan must be having the same thoughts, and that why he trusted me to have you.
You lit up my world, literally.
I want to let you know that you added colors to my black and white world.
Cho Hyeon, I love you to the moon and back. Or you can even say more than that.
Hey, that rhymes. :')
Cho Hyeon... I would like to see you in your dreams, could you let me do that?
I'm sorry for leaving, I didn't had a choice. I love you so much... If you found someone better than me, then go for him but, please, never forget me.
I'm thankful that you entered my life.
I love you.
— Always yours, Baekkie <3
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Your doorbell rang the next day. You looked at the headlines in the newspaper that had just arrived.
"21-year-old boy passes away from blood cancer."
You knew it was Baekhyun right away.
You couldn't hold back the tears anymore and you didn't care how badly you looked. You cried hard. You had just lost the two most important people in your life.
Comments on this story? T A T I really wanna know how you guys feel after reading this.
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