Takanori's muscles were tense under my massaging hands.

He was sitting in front of his desk writing down some lyrics, a pen on his other hand when another held a cigarette. I leaned down to kiss his neck and I was able to feel him shiver.

Smoke was floating in the air.

"Akira, you're disrupting me", Takanori said with a low, annoyed tone not bothering to look at me. I knew he would answer that way - he was such a workaholic. Always doing something and never accepting himself free time. He had once told me he got guilty conscience if he wasted his time not doing anything useful. He was like that by nature.

"It's already past midnight", I said letting my gaze wander to a window which showed a beautiful night sky and high skyscrapers, my hands still resting on his shoulders. Takanori hummed and kept on writing. "This isn't finished yet", he responded while stubbing the cigarette.

"Were you planning to sleep at all?" I asked quietly and stared at the back of his head covered by messy brown hair.

For some reason I got an instinct to touch it. His hair felt surprisingly soft under my fingertips considering that he had dyed his hair so often. I loved the fact.

"You don't have to stay awake because of me, you know that", Takanori sighed and even though he didn't answer straight to my question, it was pretty clear what he had on mind.

I couldn't help feeling a bit worried. Takanori slept way too little, maybe a few hours a day, and by seeing him every day I could tell his body was betraying him little by little. He had focusing problems and he was crabbier than before. Him being a very social person, it was also strange that nowadays he more like avoided people instead of spending time with them.

He only didn't seem to notice it himself.

"I don't have to, but I want to."
I wasn't planning to leave him stay awake all night alone, even though my eye lids felt heavy. Usually I would listen to him and my deadly tired body and bury myself under the covers that had successfully failed to absorb Takanori's smell, but tonight I didn't want to fall asleep alone.

And then, for the first time that night Takanori turned around to look directly to my eyes. His face was serious and visibly stressed.

"I wasn't kidding. Go to sleep, Akira."

He made it sound like a demand so I lifted my eye brow provoking him.

"Has our relationship really reached a point where you don't appreciate my appearance anymore?"

Takanori clearly hadn't excepted such answering-with-a-question since he opened his mouth with no voice coming. I could see he was pondering precisely which words to choose. His gaze was lowered and his long pianist's fingers toyed with the pen. In any other situation I would have probably called it heartwarming.

"It's not like that", he then muttered not explaining it any further. I smiled at him being so embarrassed, not watching anywhere near me. Even though we had been together for years, he was still awkward when it came to talking about the feelings we held for each other.

"If that's so, I think we need to do something to keep it that way. Get up, Taka-chan."

Takanori looked surprised, confusion - and irritation toward a nickname he loathed - clearly on his face. Yet he didn't protest when I grabbed his hand and pulled him up to his feet. The pen he had had in his hand dropped to a soft carpet right next to his bare feet. Takanori was shorter than me, his tiny body covered by baggy, checkered shirt. He wasn't wearing any make-up, black framed glasses resting on the curve of his nose. He may not have been picture perfect but for me he was the one I wanted to share my life with.

"What is this? What do you have in mind, boy?" he whispered silently to a smoky air. I was slightly taken aback he wasn't making any more resistance since I knew way too well he could be morbidly persistent if he felt so. Instead of responding I started to drag him toward a corridor reassuring him by a small smile. I noticed he yet glanced quickly at his working desk probably thinking about all the unfinished work, but I stayed silent.

His hand felt soft in my raspy palm.

I didn't mind turning on a lamp since the lights of the city were lightening the way enough. I enjoyed the silence which was filled up only with the voices of our steps and transport outside. When we reached the end of the corridor I stopped walking and couldn't help feeling a bit nervous. I truly couldn't remember the last time when Takanori and I had time to be together without rush and work issues: our lives were so hectic we barely switched words on some days.
It was painful to watch from the side how he was swamped with expectations. Although it wasn't only about the people around him who put pressure on him - the worst one was himself.

At any rate, when his stress started to affect our relationship in a way that we fought every day due to some stupid little things, I decided to do something. I couldn't handle it and neither did him, nonetheless we never really talked about it.

Neither of us was a romantic type of person nor were we used to having public affection, so arranging a date wasn't an easy thing to do for me. I actually had no idea how to cherish him other than buying something nice he liked or having with him. To my embarrassment, the situation had led me to the point I had had to ask for help from my big sister. She had laughed at me, mockingly asked how old I was again and advised me to do something relaxing - "Not just !" - with only two of us around.

So here was what I attained.

I inhaled one last time before letting go of Takanori's hand and opening the door in front of us.

I heard him gasp at the sight. I had warmed up the water of our big  hot tub and decorated it with the petals of roses. The water was shining beautifully when the multicolored lights from the other side of a huge window reflected from its surface. I'd learned from watching television - some sort of meditation program, don't ask - that candles created a calm atmosphere so I'd decided to give it a try hoping it wasn't too cheesy. Hence a few incompatible candles I'd found from the kitchen cabinet were lighted and put on the edge of the tub.

"Akira, where the hell did you get this idea from?" Takanori asked. "From some women's magazine?" I saw him wrinkle his nose at the thought. He was specialized in ruining supposedly emotional moments.

I only rolled my eyes.

"Oh, how did you guess? I thought I could borrow one of those magazines on your nightstand table", I said my voice filled with the sarcasm. "Why, don't you believe in my romantic skills?"

"For that matter I don't", he answered with a serious tone and took a few steps further into the room. Even though he tried to hide it, I saw his other corner of the mouth twitch. He was smiling.

He took off his glasses and left them on the shelf before walking next to the tub. He smoothed the surface of the water with his fingertips, finally grabbing one of the petals.

"What if I help you to get rid of your clothes?" I smirked and moved a bit forward to get right behind him. I wrapped my hands around his tiny body and dragged him closer to my chest.

He smelled like vanilla.

"I guess you would do that anyway, wouldn't you?" Takanori murmured.

The question seemed rhetorical so without answering I started to caress him slowly; my fingers wandering on his upper body. I kept on doing the same rotary motions on his chest until I reached the top button of his shirt.

I kissed his neck and slowly turned him around.

Little by little we undressed each other, and I couldn't help staring at his pale and thin body in front of me. When was the last time we shared a moment like this? When was the last time I had time to watch him this closely? Takanori's shoulder blades protruded visibly from his skin when he bent his arms around my neck. While huddling and kissing I noticed he was shaking, probably from the cold.

"You wanna go to the tub?" I asked, my lips against his. I was to lift him up to carry him there but Takanori struggled away from me. Knowing his compactness complex and general stubbornness the reaction was actually kind of conventional, but this time he didn't seem annoyed at all.

"You go there first", he said with an unreadable face. For a moment I wondered the real motive behind his demand but then decided it was my turn to trust his discernment. I took the final step I had to make and climbed to the pool. It didn't take long for my skin to get used to the heat; the oh--it-burns turned into numbness that made me forget the tension in my muscles. I didn't even realize I'd shut my eyes and Takanori had arrived the pool before a sudden shadow hit my face. He was standing right in front of me, his gaze somewhat inquiring when our eyes met. He had his own way to make decisions by interpreting the smallest signs.

He was complicated, I was coarse. So when I couldn't reach him mentally, I reached for him physically.

I grabbed his hand but didn't pull him down.

"You don't always have to analyze all my expressions and movements, just ask what you want to know", I whispered. He stared at me with a frown on his face and then slowly sat down next to me. Our thighs got squeezed together and warmness, that had nothing to do with the physical touch itself, spread through my entire body.

"I already got my answer", he hummed so silently I barely heard him. Smiling, I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and let him sag his head against my chest.

"Then let me at least verify it."

♦♦♦

A/N: I'd love to have any kinds of comments!