Feeling useless is one of the worst feeling that a human could get. It makes you feel like you’re just a tiny dot amongst all the creation in this universe, something that is not important to anyone, and whether you are there or not, it would not give any impact towards anyone else. Someone who does not even worth to live a life. At least that’s what Oh Sehun always thinks of himself.

  Oh Sehun isn’t as bright as others. He isn’t as smart or hard-working as others. He doesn’t has any talent. Nothing. He’s just Oh Sehun. The kid that didn’t show what he feels. The kid that always smiles towards people. The kid that couldn’t even makes himself to feel angry or hates them when people hurt him, physically or emotionally.

  Sehun always thinks that he’s useless. He isn’t like his other classmates who are smart and always scores well in examinations. No. In fact, he knew that he’s one of the worst students ever in terms of studying, although he didn’t even intend to be like that. And yet he rarely tries to be better, and that makes him feels worse that nobody would ever understand it.

  He didn’t have anyone to blame except himself. All of it was his faults. And he’s just too useless and stupid to know how to makes things right again. He does things that he would regret, and later on he would blame himself for doing those things, yet then he would repeat those things again, and the cycle goes on and on. He hates himself for it.

  Sometimes Sehun thinks that he’s just too much of a burden and a nuisance towards the people around him, and that he should just die. Then he wouldn’t feel guilty for troubling too much people anymore. He likes the idea of finally being free from those bad feelings.

  Once in a while, he wonders when he will finally leave this world. Making a suicide could help him to leave faster, but he knows better to not make such decision. Even though how much unworthy he feels of himself to continue living in this world, he won’t act stupid and takes his own life. He will just be a bit patient and maybe God would help him to free other people from himself.

  But then Kim Jongin enters his life without him even knowing it. That new kid which turned into his best friend when he expects it the least. Sehun didn’t know why Jongin even wanted to become his friend in the first place, and he also didn’t know why he had accepted it when he barely knew the guy, but it happened.

  Sehun trusts Jongin more than anyone he ever trusted, and he knew that it would be okay. Somehow his heart told him that Jongin is a trustworthy person. And he knew that it’s true. Jongin had never made him feels like what he usually felt with other people. He made Sehun feels that he’s good enough to also live in this world like everyone else.

  When Sehun actually told Jongin during one of the weekends about how much he had actually wished that he could just die, how much he feels that he isn’t worth to live in this world, how much he hoped that he knew how to put things back whenever he had makes mistakes before, and all the things that he feels which he had always keeps to himself, he expects Jongin to judge or scold him for thinking like that. Yet Jongin had embrace him in a comforting hug and told him all of those weren’t true and he would be alright, and that Jongin would be there for Sehun.

  After all, Oh Sehun was just one of the lost souls that just needs someone to help in leading him to the right path and to be a better person. Someone that would lend him an ear and hears what he wanted to say. Someone that would accept him for who he is.

  At the end of the day, even if Sehun still thinks that sometimes in the future, all the bad thoughts that he always had before will come to him again, at least he knows that someone would help him to forget them all. At least he will have Kim Jongin, his best friend with him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a really short one-shot.

i guess i tend to make new stories when i'm not in my best state

anyway,read and comment. ^o^