"Where did you get all the inspiration for the lyrics? Are the lyrics from personal experiences?"

"..."

Junhyung kept quiet with a small smile on his lips. Hyunseung looked down onto his hands, acting like he have drifted off from interview. The both of them know, the group members and company knows too, that it was not how everyone thought it was. Everyone in the public would link his lyrics to his official breakup. But that was not how everyone that knows the truth thinks. Hyunseung was serious about the breakup and had stick to it since then. He kept it in professional level whenever he spoke to Junhyung and would minimize the time they would be alone. But Junhyung couldn't resist from taking glances at his ex-lover each time he had the chance to do so.

Just love, it's not technical, just follow your natural feelings as if you are magnets.

Hyunseung once told Junhyung, "What is the right way to love? Are there a set of rules to follow?"

Hyunseung dropped his head on Junhyung's chest and played with the strings of his hoodie. Junhyung wrapped his arms around Hyunseung's waist while the other hand continued navigating through his phone.

"Just act the way your heart tells you to, not your brain."

Hyunseung lifted his head up and planted a kiss on Junhyung's heart shaped lips.

"That's what my heart was screaming for me to do."

Hyunseung smiled sweetly and wrapped his arms around Junhyung's chest, burying his face into his lover's neck. The younger male laughed and placed a loud smooch on his lover's head.

"You are so cute."

I love you, but sometimes I think about breaking up without knowing each other fully.

"Who are you most awkward with, Hyunseung-ssi?"

"..."

Hyunseung was stunned for a moment. He didn't know how should he reply to the sudden question given to him.

"If I really had to choose, maybe... Junhyung-goon."

Hyunseung can see from the corner of his eyes that Junhyung tensed up.

"Why is that so?"

Hyunseung hesitated a bit and looked around for help from s. Doojoon laughed to lessen the awkwardness in the air. Noticing his distress through his sunglasses, Junhyung spoke up for him.

"It is because we are too similar in characters. When we are in a group, we can talk. But if we were alone, we would be really silent."

Hyunseung avoided Junhyung's stare and kept his eyes on DJ Shinyoung. He then caught Doojoon glancing at him. Doojoon smiled back at him with a silent message of, "You did well, Hyunseung-ah". The dancer felt thankful and smiled back at Doojoon. Junhyung noticed the silent conversation going between the two eldest members. The rapper lean back against his chair and mumbled to himself, "Your smile used to be only mine."

I hope that you trust me like I trust you.

Hyunseung was sitting on the couch alone while the members are all gathered together chatting and laughing. Junhyung noticed the missing presence of the other and turned his head around to search. It was then he noticed that Hyunseung had his earpieces plugged in and eyes closed.

"Hyunseung hyung look so sleepy these few days."

All members turned to look at the lone member by the couch.

"He hasn't been sleeping at all."

Doojoon spoke and Junhyung couldn't help but got a little jealous.

"Hah, were your snores that loud?"

"I wished it was because of that. But it seems his insomnia is back. I would wake up in the middle of the night seeing him sitting on his bed listening to music and softly singing along with it. It would always be soft ballads with a melancholic feel."

Junhyung started feeling worried for his ex-lover. In the past, he would always be sure to cuddle with Hyunseung when he has insomnia. And he would always be able to fall asleep in Junhyung's arms although it would be a short nap before he gets wide awake again.

"BEAST, break time over. Please gather back on stage."

The boys were filming for Weekly Idol and had a short break before their second section of filming. Doojoon tapped Hyunseung on the shoulder to inform him that they had to get back. The sleepy male threw his phone and earpiece into his pockets before dropping his head on Doojoon's shoulder like a sleepy cat.

"Do we use the coupling the crew made or do we change it?"

"It's fine to stick it that way."

Hearing about coupling up with members, Hyunseung unconsciously stood up and peeked towards the list.

"Hyunseung-ssi and Junhyung-ssi."

"Ah, I don't think that will do."

Hyunseung quickly denied the coupling. He don't want to touch Junhyung, he had worked hard these few weeks since their breakup to not have any contact with Junhyung. He even controlled himself from stealing glances at the said male.

Touching him now will break the curse. Hyunseung thought to himself. It would remind him of the times they skipped together in Japan, and the loud chants for him and Junhyung then. He wouldn't allow himself to think about the past. They are over.

Hearing that Hyunseung didn't want to be in the same team as him, he knew the meaning behind it. Even touching him was a forbidden movement now. Junhyung forced a fake smile while talking to the MCs of the show. He couldn't push off the jealousy brewing in him when it was Doojoon being in the same team as Hyunseung. 

 So you would rather him touching you than me now. Throughout the rest of the show, Junhyung ignored the presence of the other two members.

Don't think about other things, it's hard enough being happy.

It will be Hyunseung's birthday in a few minutes. But the other members had schedules are not able to celebrate it with him. Hyunseung was stuck in the practice room dancing. He didn't want to celebrate it, not when there is nothing happy about this birthday. He was in the practice room for four hours when he heard the door opened. It was in his natural instincts to turn back but he regretted his decision. Hyunseung stared at Junhyung in shock. Thinking that Junhyung will leave after realizing that it was Hyunseung, the dancer collected himself and went back to dancing.

However, Junhyung took slow steps into the door and closed the door behind him.

"Practicing?"

"..."

Hyunseung told himself to ignore him and his existence but it was getting harder each time Junhyung takes a step towards him. When Junhyung finally took the last step to stand just beside Hyunseung, the blonde turned and had his back facing the other male.

"What do you want? Can't you see I'm practicing?"

"... It's your birthday."

"So what?"

"Happy birthday."

"... Nothing to be happy over, but still, thank you. You can leave now."

Junhyung placed a small box beside Hyunseung's phone and turned towards the door.

"To me, today is an important day. It's a day when you are born and I'm grateful to have you in my life."

Junhyung left and Hyunseung sat down beside the box.

Why are you making it harder for me each time? I'm trying to let go off you, Yong Junhyung. Why are you not making the same effort as me to make this a past?

Hyunseung took the box into his hands between his stretched out legs. He looked up to the ceiling of the room. He had grew so numb that he couldn't even cry anymore. He felt like he was just floating in a pitch of darkness with nothing in sight. With trembling fingers, Hyunseung pulled the ribbon on the top of the satin box. He opened the lid and the contents made him laugh out bitterly.

It was their couple ring. And it was Junhyung's. Hyunseung had made his a necklace but Junhyung had always wore his. Hyunseung pulled out the ring and a small note dropped out with it. He opened it to read the contents.

Your name has been carved on it. My feelings for you will never changed because it has been deep-rooted in my heart. Just like this ring. My heart will always belong to you. But I can't find your heart with me anymore. Am I really the only one hanging on? Am I wrong for hanging on? I don't want to let go. I feel like I will never be able to see your smile if I were to let go. I feel like I will never hear my heartbeat ever again if I were to let go.

Please, please tell me we can still be back to how we were.

Happy birthday.

To the most important one in my life,
I Love You

It's okay if we are left with scars.

Hyunseung laughed and laughed and laughed. And finally, he broke down and cried.

"Why are you doing this to me...? I'm tired of this, I don't want this anymore. But why are you forcing me to make a decision?"

Just then, his playlist switched and How to Love started to play. He laughed again and dropped the ring into the box.

"I give up on loving."

He threw the box into the dustbin and stood up. Hyunseung left the cafe and ran back to their dorm. He locked himself into his room, blasting music and buried his face into his pillow trying to sleep. But his insomnia is preventing him from getting into his slumber. Just then, he felt someone tapping his back. He dragged his face out of his pillow to look at his intruder.

Doojoon pulled away his earpiece and smiled to him.

"Happy birthday. Sorry that I'm late, I just got back from my parents' house."

"Don't wish me."

Hyunseung buried his face back into his pillow. Doojoon frowned. He the back of Hyunseung's hair softly.

"What's wrong? You can talk to me, you know that right?"

Hyunseung remained unmoved.

"Aish~ I'm tired~"

Doojoon moved Hyunseung to the side and crawled in beside the younger male. his back softly, Doojoon placed his left hand under his head and faced Hyunseung. Hyunseung peeked out from his pillow and saw the smile attached on the leader's lips. Unconsciously, Hyunseung snuggled towards Doojoon and hugged him.

"I'm tired too."

Doojoon chuckled.

"Go to sleep then. Have a good night sleep and dream of beautiful things. It's your birthday, you should be happy."

"Hnnn."

Hyunseung nodded and pushed his face even closer into Doojoon's chest. The male standing outside the door saw the whole scene through the same gap between the door and its frame. Junhyung knew what the answer was without having to hear it. The rapper leaned against the wall and buried his face into his palms.

"I guess he have already made his choice."

It's too late, Junhyung. We are too far off the edge to regret jumping off the cliff.

Little by little, slowly I will follow your pace.
So we can walk together headed to the same place. How to love.

 ---

(Lyrics credits to B2R and English translations credits to jundooseob@tumblr)

A/N: This is really badly written, critics are welcomed. Please do hate me. Because I hate Junseung for depriving me. T^T