005: Living without you, living alone / This empty house seems so cold

[Part Two]

“What do you mean divorce? Sooyeon-ah… I know you haven’t been happy that I haven’t been coming home for dinner but that doesn’t mean you should take things to the extremes. We’re not merely dating where you can just call quits. We’re married for god’s sake! We can sort this out!” Luhan yelled trying to knock some sense back into Jessica’s brain. Every piece of clothes that Jessica places into her luggage, Luhan would instantly throw them back onto the floor.

Heaving a sigh, Jessica looked into Luhan’s eyes.

“Where were you last night?”

“I was at a work event”

Jessica could feel her tears threatening to fall once again. Her voice begins to shake as she looks at Luhan, “When are you going to stop lying to me?”

Luhan gave her a confused look, “What are you talking about?”

Jessica dug deep into her pocket and returned the wedding ring to Luhan, “Seohyun came by earlier to return this to you”

Luhan gulped. He felt a lump at the base of his throat as he observes the pain on Jessica’s face. He didn’t know what to say. He knows that she’s expecting an explanation and she deserves one. But he didn’t know where to begin, he didn’t know whether he should tell her everything or whether tell her that it only happened once. He just didn’t know.

Jessica sighed in disappointment and continued packing her belongings. Just as she was about to leave the house, Luhan ran after her. He embraced her from behind as he let his tears escape. Feeling the droplets of tears on her shoulders, Jessica couldn’t help but cry with him.

“Please don’t leave me… please. I can explain” Luhan whispered as he tightened his grip around her.

Hearing him plead made Jessica feel weak. She wanted to forget everything and continue her not-so wonderful life with Luhan. But she knew she had to face and overcome this problem. Breaking free from Luhan’s embrace, she slipped her wedding ring off her finger and placed it into Luhan’s hands.

“I think its better if we go on with our own lives…separately”

Luhan could feel his heart pinched with pain, “But I love you Sooyeon. I don’t think I can live without you”

“I’m sure Seohyun will gladly move in to keep you company” Jessica gave Luhan one last glance before coldly bidding goodbye, “Goodbye Luhan. Don’t come find me”

Days turned into weeks and soon it was almost a month without Jessica by Luhan’s side. During the day, Luhan was like the devil from hell at work. Slaving his employees and giving everyone a hard time was what happened daily. After working hours, he would rush home – hoping to find Jessica in her pink apron, preparing a wonderful meal to reward him for his hard work. Luhan scoffed at the thought as he opened his nth bottle of beer,

“Reward? What reward? I couldn’t even be a proper husband to her…” He slurred.

He missed her warmth when they lay next to each other in bed. He missed how his arms would rest on her waist and how their legs would be entangled with one another under the blanket. He missed being greeted by a soft kiss in the morning and her hugs when he left for work. He missed her smile, her laughs and her ‘I love yous’.

Wiping the tears from his eyes, he flipped through his gallery on his phone and looked at all the pictures of him and Jessica when they were still both happy.

“I miss you Jessica…”

Another month had passed and Luhan was still struggling with the idea of coming home to an empty house. Sehun had dropped by a few days earlier, informing him that Jessica had fallen into depression and that she refused to see anyone. The younger male also mentioned that Suho had been seeing Jessica lately, trying to convince her to live like a normal person again. The news had caused more pain for Luhan as he begins to blame himself.

“Hyung, you’ve made a huge mistake. But you’re human and every human make mistakes so don’t be so harsh on yourself. When you’re ready, go find Jess noona and win her back!”

Luhan chuckled to himself as he remembered Sehun’s words of encouragement. As soon as he stepped into his house, he could hear rattling noises from the master bedroom. Quietly sneaking his way towards the room, he didn’t forget to grab a broomstick along the way.

“Who are you?” Luhan’s voice boomed which startled the other person.

After realising that it was Jessica, Luhan immediately dropped his weapon and ran towards her to engulf her into his embrace.

“Jessica… is it really you?”

Jessica lightly pushed him away and went back to the drawers, “I’m only here to get the rest of my belongings”

Luhan got onto his knees and hugged Jessica’s legs as he started to cry, “Please Jessica…let me explain”

Jessica looked down at Luhan and noticed how much he was deteriorated over the past two months. He was thin, his hair was longer and he looked as if he hasn’t slept in years. Biting down on her lower lips, she stepped away from his embrace and handed him some papers,

“Here’s the divorce paper. I’ve already filled out my parts and signed it. Once you finish could you please send it back to my lawyer? Thanks.”

Luhan looked at the papers in his hands with anger. He got onto his feet and ripped the papers apart before throwing them somewhere in the room.

“We’re not getting a divorce. You didn’t even give me a chance to explain!”

Jessica looked at him with teary eyes cause she knew that no matter what Luhan had to say, it was too late. She could no longer look at him the same way she did before. He made her feel unloved and insecure and that she could no longer trust him. What’s the point in marriage when you can’t even trust the person, right? But she felt guilty for seeing her lawyer without giving Luhan the chance to explain himself.

“Fine. Go ahead. But I doubt that it will change anything”

“Nothing happened between Seohyun and I last night. I was at CEO Kim’s 60^th birthday and Seohyun just happened to be there. She sat next to me, we talked and I got drunk. She must’ve checked me into a hotel room but I swear nothing else happened. I’m honestly telling you the truth!”

Jessica wiped the tears of her cheeks as she shook her head, “Lies, lies and more lies. If nothing happened then how did she get your wedding ring!?”

“I…I… don’t know! It must’ve slipped…”

“I want the whole truth Luhan…please…”

The pain written across Jessica’s face was too much for Luhan. All these times, he has been doing nothing but hurting her. So he decided that telling her everything is all that he can do for her. He began with how Seohyun confessed her feelings to him five years ago to when he and Jessica had their first major argument. He watched Jessica frown when he told her that he confided his frustration to Seohyun at the bar and how he began cheating on Jessica that night.

“But I swear I’ve only done it with her once. I’m definitely sure nothing happened last night. I already told Seohyun that I only love you and that I didn’t want to see her anymore. But she kept coming back and every time she did, I couldn’t help but pity her. I’m really sorry Jessica… I’m sorry…”

By now, Jessica was a total mess. She didn’t know what to do. She wanted to give him one last chance but she couldn’t help but think that he would cheat on her again. Picking up her belongings, she walked over to Luhan and placed one last kiss on his lips.

“Goodbye Luhan”