Woohyun stops his car in front of an old but beautiful building with a wide yard in front of it. Actually this building is located in a very nice area. But Woohyun is in a hurry, so he has no time to pay attention on refreshing breeze and the lovely sounds of birds from tall trees around the building. Woohyun run inside while wearing his worry face. A middle-aged woman in pale blue shirt greets him with an unsure smile. Looks like she’s been waiting for him quite long.

“You’re here.”

“Yes, I drove hear as I got the call. What happened?”

“Let’s talk inside.”

“No, please tell me what happened. Is he okay? Where is he? Please tell me he’s okay.”

“Woohyun-ah. He’s okay. For now. He’s just having a breakdown.”

“Did he hurt himself?”

“Woohyun-ah, you need to know something first. It is not him who did this. Okay?”

“I know.”

The woman leads Woohyun to the hallway where a lot of people dressing in the same clothes as her is walking around, looking busy handle some stuffs. Both walks from door to another door until they reach elevator. The ‘ding’ sound ringing when they’re reaching 5^th floor. Woohyun can’t help but feels anxious and somehow…scared. He hopes he’s not gonna see the worst. They’ve arrived in front of a quiet room near the stair. Woohyun stares at the number 507 that pasted on the door. He glances at the woman beside him for a while, looking for insurance or maybe source of courage. The woman nods and giving him the sign that it’s okay. Woohyun slides the door, then finally entering that room.

Woohyun gasps when he saw the skinny figure that sitting in the bed. It was that boy, that lively boy that used to run along with Woohyun playing kites every summer. The cheerful boy who used to laugh loudest. The boy with a genuine smile and twinkling eyes that Woohyun always remember.

But the boy that Woohyun see right now is total opposite. The boy in front of him is pale and tired. Some bruises and small scars in his hands. There’s a mark of dried tears on his cheeks. And he looks weary as if he has war with some gladiator. Woohyun walks slowly towards that figure. The boy lifted his chin, looking at Woohyun and smirks. Woohyun surprises he can still saw a light in his eyes, but it’s not the same sparks as the one he used to have. It’s more like a rage or anger, or both. Those skinny hands of that boy are being tied onto the bed, and for Woohyun, it is a heartbreaking picture. Woohyun walks slowly towards him. The boy looks at him intensely before giving out a glare. Woohyun hates that expression. It looks like a devil. It doesn’t suits the angelic face that the boy used to had.

“You came. Long time no see. Don’t you miss me?” That boy smirks. Sinister smile.

“Why are you doing this, Hoya? What do you want?”

“You don’t have what I want, Woohyun.”

“Hoya, stop it! How long you’re gonna do that?”

“As long as I want. And I want it long. Long enough to make you all realize that I’m doing this for good.”

“Good? Who’s good? It is torture. How can it be good?!” Woohyun almost shouts.

“I’m doing this for him. To protect him from the world that always hurting him. Because clearly you can’t even do that simple task for him.” That boy glares. Woohyun gritting his teeth.

“He’s my brother. I’ll die for him if I have too. You have no idea how willing I am to sacrifice anything for him.” Woohyun says in determined.

“Really? Then why did you failed? Why he got hurt?” The boy scoffed.

“It won’t happen again! So for the God sake leave my brother alone, Hoya. You have no right to do this to him!” Woohyun lost his control. It makes the other boy snapped out. With the remaining power in that skinny body he tries to shoved Woohyun away.

“No! Don’t try to take him away from me…You can’t do that! Howon is mine!” He screamed like crazy, pulling his hands that still being tied in the bedroom. He yelled and the light in his eyes is burning like a beast eyes. Woohyun shocked, he doesn’t know what to do. That’s when the medics rushed come to the room. They’re holding that boy, trying to calm him down. But the boy keeps screaming.

“Don’t! Don’t take Howon away from me! I’m gonna kill you all…You can’t do that! He’s mine!”

Woohyun feels something hit his heart, making his chest hurt so much when he saw the medics finally inject sedative to that boy’s wrist.

“I’m sorry Woohyun-ah. We have to do that.” The woman that Woohyun saw earlier pats his back carefully. She looks at Woohyun with sympathetic eyes. The latter still looks at the boy in the bed that now growing weaker even though his eyes still raging. As that boy lost his consciousness, Woohyun let out a sigh, trying so hard not to cry. Because he must be strong.

“Why he’s being like this again? He’s been okay all this time.”

“A patient hurt his hand and bleeds. Howon saw the bloods accidentally. It was a lot of blood. He freaked out, suddenly collapsed…and when he wakes up…”

“Hoya appears.”

“Yeah…He almost stabbed a guard because he wants to escape and choked a nurse that approached him. But we managed to calm him down.”

“What if he will be Hoya again when he wake up this time?”

“That’s why we will get some protection. Just in case.”

“By tying him up?”

“Woohyun-ah, we have no other choice. But please have faith… Howon is a strong person. He will fight to get back at his own sense.”

Woohyun’s words stuck on his throat. It hurts, but he can do nothing. His hands fist into ball. He really wants to mad, but he doesn’t know to whom. The woman sighs, seeing how it’s hard for Woohyun to accept it.

“Let’s wait in the office. He won’t wake up for at least 2 hours.”

“I’ll stay here.”

“Woohyun-ah…”

“Please, Aunt Yoo… Let me stay here. Howon will wake up, and I want to be here for him.”

That woman just nodded. Leaving Woohyun alone in that room as the medics also leaves the room.

Almost three hours later that boy shifted his eyelids. He opens his eyes weakly and turns his looks around. Woohyun gasped a little when he saw that boy wakes up. He stares intensely to those eyes, trying to recognize it. That’s when he saw the twinkling light that shine weakly, even though that eyes seem scared and tired. Woohyun knows his brother is back.

“Hyung…”

“Howonnie…” Woohyun sits closer to that boy. Holding his hands only notice that those hands are still tied up. And that boy is trembling like he wants to cry.

“Please save me. I’m scared.” He begged.

“I’m here, baby…its okay.” Woohyun smiles, but it’s fail to make the boy calm.

“He will come again, hyung… He will hurt people. Using my hands.”

“We won’t let that happen, Howonnie…”

“I can’t fight him anymore. Please help me…Make him go.” Howon cried weakly.  Woohyun embraces him tightly. He wants to help him. Hell, even he’d died if he has to. But it gives no guarantee that Howon will be okay. Woohyun has no idea what to do.

“Ssshh…just sleep, Howonnie. You need it.”

“No. I don’t wanna sleep. I’m scared.”

“Why? I’m here. You don’t have to be scared.” Woohyun rubbed his brother’s back.

“It’s not that, hyung. I’m scared if I’m gonna wake up as him.” He said with a hoarse voice. Woohyun feels like someone hits his chest hard. To be truth, he’s scared too. He’s scared that his brother will wake up as a different person. A fiery, possessive and psychotic guy with rebellious and raging eyes named Hoya.

It’s not supposed to be like that. Howon supposed to be a normal college boy. He supposed to get busy with his Law and Humanitarian assignment right now. Or maybe he supposed to go on a date with pretty girl. Howon supposed to have fun and go out drinking soju with his male friends. And Woohyun supposed to scold him for going home late or ditching some classes. Howon is not supposed to be like this, right here, fighting for his rightful mind and body. Dealing with psychotic alter ego that refused to let him go.

Howon was just a college freshman when he accidentally involved with that event. An event that turns his life upside down and put him in this miserable state. It was Woohyun fault, or at least Woohyun always tells himself that it was his fault. He was asked Howon to bring his car to 24-hours carwash station. Howon was grumbling saying that Woohyun should just wash the car himself, that it was too late. But Woohyun insisted, saying that he’s too busy but he needs the car to be clean tomorrow morning. So Howon went to the carwash station, the place where he saw that incident. The murder of the car wash operator. Howon wasn’t supposed to be there. In fact, no one else is there because the night was already late. But he was there, seeing the bloods of that young man flowing through the pale blue floor. Worst, Howon saw the murderer. He saw the face…clearly. And the murderer aware of that. Fortunately Howon brave enough to race Woohyun’s car away to the police station.

Howon become a witness. By his help the police was able to complete the murderer’s face sketch. The police put a lot of efforts to search the murderer that managed to escape, while Howon was put in Witness Protection Program. Woohyun remembers that was the time when Howon got nightmares a lot. He will wake up at night, shivering and cold sweats. The trauma gave him a lot of headaches and Woohyun hates himself because he can do nothing to help him.

Until the worst part came.

Howon was on his way back from college when the murderer shows up in front of him. That monster chased him with a knife and axe on his hand. Woohyun can’t imagine how scary it was when Howon run in horror. Woohyun blame the police for letting their guard down. Also blame himself being incapable to protect his brother.

 But the most surprising event is how Howon put a good fight against the murderer.

Howon is not delicate boy, but Woohyun sure that his brother is not the fighter type either; Howon was more like happy-go-lucky type. Woohyun didn’t sure that his little brother capable enough to defend himself from the psychotic murderer with knife and axe in his hands. At the end, the police came and catch the murderer. Howon got a stabbed wound on his stomach. Woohyun thought he was going to die when he saw Howon’s blood.

Fortunately Howon recovered, but that’s just physically. While emotionally the wound inside him never healed. The horror, the trauma, scary things. Howon stressed out after keep waking up to the same nightmare. That’s when the strange things started to happen. Howon often talks alone, sometimes laugh alone. Woohyun scared that his brother might loose his sanity. But he was wrong; Howon is not losing his sanity. He’s just shifting…to another person. A person that bravely fight against the murderer. A person with fiery eyes and emotionally tough. A beast that live inside of Howon’s body all this time. It comes up to the surface, sometimes taking over Howon’s soul. The demon that was hidden, Hoya.

Woohyun caress the sleeping face of his brother, wondering on how tiring it is. Fighting with “another” self of you. Woohyun remembers that day, when people started to see Howon as a different person and treats him differently. Funny, because Howon did nothing wrong. Even he did something brave, but people look at him as if he’s an insane person.

“Mental institution? Mom, you can’t do that!”

“Woohyun-ah…it’s the best choice that we should take.”

“He’s your son. How can you do that to him?”

“Howon is my son. But that person is not him. He almost killed a person, Woohyun-ah. He might hurt us too later.”

“It’s too much, mom. He’s still Howon. We supposed to support him not giving him away to some random mental ward.”

“Aunt Yoo will take care of him, Woohyun-ah. Until he can be healed.”

“Howon is not sick, mom. We all are.”

Yes, people are sick, including Woohyun too, because at the end he gives up and do nothing but saw his little brother being sent to the mental ward. Woohyun didn’t know that the therapy was like hell. That his little brother has to through lot psychotherapy, hypnotherapy and other weird treatment. At the first two months it’s like Woohyun seeing people torturing his little brother. Practically, Hoya is too strong and persistent. And fighting his alter ego draining every energy that Howon has. Even Howon has to get hurt a few times, like when he shoved the nurse in the hallway before end up fell on the stair, or when he accidentally broke his shoulder when he fought with the guard, when he was being Hoya. At the end Howon will wake up feeling drowsy because of the sedative, guilty after what he did, even though he has no memory of doing it. Later somehow the treatment work, Howon become more stable and Hoya ‘appears’ less frequently. Until today he showed up again.

“Hyung… I will get better, right?” Howon muttered as he gets sleepy.

“Of course you will.”

“You do not hate me, right?”

“Of course I don’t hate you, Howonnie. How can I hate you?” Woohyun chuckled.

“I’m scared.”

“Don’t be scared. You are going to be okay. You have to fight it, so he will leave. So you can have full control of yourself again. You can do it, Howonnie. You’re strong enough to make him leave.”

Woohyun stay for the night, watching his little brother sleeps peacefully. At the end Woohyun said to Aunt Yoo to have the medic untie Howon’s hands. They refused it at first, but Woohyun insisted that he will take a full risk. He believes that Howon will always be Howon, his angelic little brother. Woohyun fall asleep holding Howon wrist gently, caressing the tie mark on his skins. Woohyun didn’t know that he just made a wrong decision. Because an angry face greet him in the morning as he wake up.

The beastly expression and raging smile. Holding a folded knife. Staring at Woohyun who just woken up and still trying to get back to his sense. Woohyun tries to calm down. He knows the figure in front of him is dangerous and he shouldn’t do anything to provoke him, because he’s alone in that room.

“Where the hell you got that knife from?” Woohyun tries to sound calm. It’s 5 in the morning. Everything is quiet and Woohyun sure his heartbeat sounds too loud right now.

“You don’t need to know. Even Howon doesn’t know anything about this knife.” Right, because Howon and Hoya have separated memory.

“Why are you doing this Hoya?”

“Because you try to take him away! You try to make him erase me, Woohyun. You want him to fight me, so I will leave. You’re cruel!”

“Put the knife down, Hoya. You can hurt Howon.”

“I will never hurt, Howon. I always protect him. You people is the one that hurt him. And yet you still think that it is my fault?”

Hoya walks closer towards Woohyun. It’s like a horror. Woohyun feel the fear, as that beastly face getting closer.

“Howon, stop…I know you’re in there.”

“Yes, Howon is here, Woohyun…but it is me. I won’t let you hurt him. I won’t give him up.”

“Hoya, take the knife down.”

“Why? Are you scared? Good. Now you can imagine how scared Howon was at that time. And you did nothing Woohyun-ah. Because you people is too selfish. In fact, Howon wouldn’t have to through this stuff if not because of you.”

“I know that! But don’t you realize that you hurt him too, Hoya? Howon is hurt too. Please leave him alone…”

“I’m not giving Howon to you!”

Hoya runs toward Woohyun. The latter tries to avoid the knife, but it was a little bit late. The knife scratches his left shoulder, making bloods oozing and visible from his white shirt. Woohyun held his left shoulder, trying to pressure the wound to stop the bleeding. It is painful. But Woohyun is little bit surprised to see the expression of the younger man. Hoya holds the knife while trembling. Like he’s feeling guilty. Like he’s about to cry.

“No…blood? Oh my God…” He muttered. Woohyun tries to hold the pain as he walks closer towards the younger man.

“Howon? Is that you?”

“Oh my God, I hurt you. Hyung…no…you’re bleeding…” It was Howon. Woohyun knows it from the look on his eyes. Howon is shocked and he looks terrified. His tears start to fall out.

“Howon-ah…” Woohyun come closer.

“Don’t come near! Or I will kill you…” It’s back to Hoya and his fiery eyes. Funny how that angry face has tears flowing out on that pale cheek.

“Hoya put the knife down… Please…”

“I said don’t come near! Woohyun, stay back…” Hoya screamed as he clutching on his head, like there’s a war going on that brain.

“No…” Woohyun keeps coming, ignoring the pain and the bloods on his left shoulder.

“I said stay back!” Hoya grips into the knife on his hand as he runs towards Woohyun.

Woohyun is shocked; he closed his eyes, preparing for the sharp thing to stab his skins. But it doesn’t happen. Instead, Woohyun heard a groan, the sound of someone crumbled down to the floor. Woohyun gasped in shocked when he saw bloods flowing.

“Oh my God…Howonnie…” Woohyun crouched down; holding the weak figure that lying on the ground, knife on his left stomach as the bloods keeps flowing from the wound, turning his blue hospital clothes to the dark color. Howon stabbed himself. Why?

“Hyung…” Hoya whimpered as Woohyun lift his body and laid him on his lap.

“Howonnie, what the hell are you doing?! Why did you do that?” Woohyun shouts.

“I did it. I stop him, hyung… He stops hurting you.” Howon chuckled.

“Ssshhh…don’t talk…Okay? Hanging on…I’m calling for help.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you Hyung…” Howon keeps talking. His face turns white as sheets. Woohyun get more panicked as Howon suddenly cough and was about to close his eyes.

“Don’t say anything…please…God, you’re bleeding a lot. Howonnie, stay with me okay. Don’t close your eyes, please…Stay with me! Howonnie! Hey, wake up you kid… Howonnie!!”

His eyes closed. Woohyun scream aloud for help. He shook his brother shoulder. But he’s not moving and his pulse slows down. And the floor is flooded with his brother’s bloods.

Howon wakes up as he feels someone caressing his face. He is lying in someone else’s lap. Howon can’t lie, it feels comfortable. He thought that person was Woohyun, because his brother worry face is the last thing he saw before everything’s turn dark. But it’s not Woohyun. Instead, Howon is a little bit surprised when he saw a person like him caressing his cold cheek. So it is him… Hoya

Howon stares to the figure that looks like his reflection with a calm face.

“Why did you do that, Howon-ah?” Hoya asked, a worry expression on his fiery eyes.

“Because I want you to stop. I want us to stop.”

“You’re hurting yourself.”

“It’s better than hurting them, Hoya.” Howon smiles weakly.

“Howon-ah… I’m just trying to protect you.”

“I know. I know it. But what’s the point of protecting me, if at the end we keep hurting people that I love?” Howon can see Hoya’s sad expression. At that time Hoya doesn’t look like a psychotic monster like he always thought. In fact, he’s just the same as Howon. Fragile and naïve.

“And you’d rather die?”

“If that means I can stop hurting them. I’ll be fine with that.” Howon smiles again.

“Why are you so self-less?” Hoya chuckles

“I don’t know. I guess it’s annoyed you, right?”

“You must hate me so much.”

“I was, but not anymore.”

“Why? I force you to lose the control of your own mind and body. I do bad things with your hands.” Howon swears he can see the other figure’s voice is trembling. Like he’s scared.

“You were save me once.” Howon said clearly, making the other figure look him with a surprised face.

“What?”

“If not because of you, I might be dead when the murderer chased me that day. If you weren’t fight for me bravely, I won’t be able to survive. You saved me, Hoya.” Howon gives reassuring smile.

“I’m sorry…but I like you a lot. I just don’t want people to hurt you. I want to protect you from them.”

“I know. And I thank you for that. But it can’t work that way… Seeing them hurt is twice painful for me.”

“Sorry… I know you want me to leave. But I don’t want to let you go. I don’t want to lose you, Howon.” Hoya looks like a little child who doesn’t wanna leave his best friend. Howon wonders, how can this figure be called a beast? Basically Hoya is just like Howon. Just braver and bolder.

“Mmmm…you will never lose me. You don’t need to leave, Hoya.” Howon gathered his energy to reach Hoya’s hand and hold it tightly.

“I don’t get what you mean.”

“We are one, Hoya. You are me. We are the same person. You’re inside me…always. It’s impossible for me to make you leave. So…” Howon takes a deep breath before continue.

“So?”

“So can you trust me?”

“Trust you?”

“Trust me to lead us. Our life. Trust me that I’ll keep you here. That we are one. We will be stronger, Hoya. Because we are together.” Howon look at him confidently. The other figure first just look at him in daze. There’s a pause moment for a while. Before finally Hoya smiles. And it feels so warm.

“Okay. I trust you. Promise me that we are one for forever.”

“I promise.”

He wakes up in the hospital bed after 4 days. Howon see his brother’s tired and worry face eyeing him as soon as he opens his eyes. At first his vision is blurry, but then it gets clearer and Howon tries to lift his body and get up.

“Hey…just lay down, okay? You’re still too weak.”

“How long I’ve been asleep?”

“4 days. How are you feeling? Is it still hurts?”

Howon just realize that there’s a slight pain in his left stomach, but it looks like he will live. Funny how he didn’t realize the pain before.

“A little. But it will be okay.”

“I’m sorry Howon-ah. I was the one that provoke him. I made him angry, that’s why he reacted that way and you end up getting hurt…”

“Hyung…”

“I promise I will protect you better. I promise that Howonnie…”

“Hyung…its okay…” Howon smiles.

“What?”

“I said its okay. Hoya will never hurt anyone no more.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hoya is here, hyung…” Howon places his palm on his left chest. “He trusts me to take the lead. And we will do it together. He won’t do anything bad anymore.”

Quite long pause moment where Woohyun stares at his brother. He needs to process the information carefully, until he realizes something. Hoya is not the one who started this. Hoya only exists when Howon is in danger.

“He protects you. He just wanna protect you.” Woohyun muttered. He just realizes it.

“Yeah…So don’t worry; everything will be fine, hyung… We will be fine.”

Howon holds his brother hands firmly. It feels different from the delicate hold that he used to have. That was the time when Woohyun saw the changing on Howon’s eyes. It’s still kind, twinkling and beautiful, but now it’s also tough and deep. As if a strong power hidden beneath that genuine eyes.

PS: Because I think Lee Howon has both angelic and devilish face. Like lively smile and wicked smirk. And I love that... XP

See the difference?