안녕하세요! (Hello!) I'm your asian fanfic writer, crackfics! As a veteran fanfic account that has been lurking this entire time, I've decided to use my knowledge to help all you new fanfic writers to make DA BEST FANFIC EVAR!!!! 

Step 1!!!!!!!

You MUST NOT have a character bio page as your first chapter. Describing your character in the story is COMPLETELY ASININE!!!! Also, you CANNOT use text to describe them. They MUST be pictures!!!!!!! ex.

This is me, crackfics!!!! ^_^

See? Less words, more action!!!! ^_^ Be sure to use pictures ALL the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

Step 2!!!!!

Be sure to NOT use spellcheck or grammar check since you are OBVIOUSLY a better writer than computers. Also, if a word is a homonym, (ex. their/they're/there) close your eyes and randomly choose which one to use. It won't matter what homonym you use, your readers will know. ex. Their running across the road. You know they are running across the road, unless you're an ILLITERATE FREAK WHO CAN't READ OR ANYTHING--         ahem. Anyways, grammar doesn't mean anything unless you're a grammar nazi so don't bother.

Step 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's time to learn the BEST part of ANY fanfic, the characters!!!! ^_^  The main character must ALWAYS be you (not your irl form, silly). Your name must use any of these 3 korean surnames: Lee, Kim, or Park, since they're the 3 most popular surnames so the audience knows your character is Korean. Choose the first name you can think of for your first name. (ex. Lee Mary Sue)   Always put the last name first!!!!! Once you have the name down, you can do whatever you want with the characters except for her personality. There's only two different personalities your MC must be. She's either the quiet, shy, but nice girl who your dream boys eventually fall in love with or are best friends with, (no boys allowed!!! It is taboo!!!) or the tsundere type, usually a gangster with only one friend but is actually a sad, neglected child who shuts everyone else out.  All the idols you use can be whatever you want, whether it be wolves, vampires, incubuses, fairies, etc.  One last thing.  If there's a girl group, they must always be jealous of you and will be total b*tches to you.  Be sure to bash them to hell, even though they're the nicest people alive and you're all a**holes for making them mean.

Conclusion!!!!!!!!!

This lesson you learned ALL the basics of writing fanfics. Please don't use them in your actual fanfic  Be sure to come back whenever I get my lazy off watching touhou videos for lesson 2: Romance fics!!!!!!!!!!!!

But seriously, don't do this if you're for real.