first time i saw you,

you were so attractive and charming in the same time.

i still remember, i was a bubbly boy and you were the cool one.

 

I still remember when i broke up with chanyeol, you came to my life kai. Although i always denied it, in the end . I open my heart for you.

 

Every day was a beautiful day, laugh a lot, smile a lot ,we fight over little things that not worth and did not want to talk to each other, after 15 minutes we made up again. Saying sorry and cuddling, don't forget the kisses also...

 

"Kai, i just want you to know i always watch you from a far okay?."

 

"I know hyung, i know."

 

"Also, i love you Kai"

 

"I love you too Baekhyun hyung."

 

3 simple words that always make me smile.

 

I remember, when there was a storm. I'm scared, i called you and you came. Hugging me, whispering sweet words with a calm tones. I feel protected.

 

i remember our first big fight, you want to break up with me. i cried so hard begging you to comeback.

 

in the end, you said sorry and we make up again ..

 

i remember on my birthday you give me a letter, you give me a surprise .

 

i remember our second big fight, i told you to leave me

 

"i'm not a doll jongin !! i have heart also !! Just leave me!! Leave me and find a new one who can make you happy!!" 

and then you shut me with a kiss on the lips, i cried harder when you kiss me. trying to push you away. 

 

"sorry hyung, please i won't do that again"

"no jongin, you will hurt me again, it's hurt so much"

i remember seeing your smile but a sad one

"you are right hyung, i guess this is the end"

 

we broke up 

 

for just 3 days we comeback together again

"i love you"

"i love you so much"

 

life goes on, we become busier every day. almost did not have time for each other

 

you start giving me a cold treatment,

 

one day, you didn't text me at all. i waited so long then i decided to text you first, but you did not reply

 

the next day is the same , 

next day..

and next day

still no sign of you

 

"jongin where are you"

 

i become depressed jongin, please answer me . i cant handle this anymore. i'm sorry

 

i'm sorry jongin , i'm sorry

 

i love you,

 

remember i always watch you from a far okay?

 

i love you

 

take care, please don't forget to eat properly and also sleep properly too

 

i love you

 

you have to know i did not stop loving you

 

good bye my love

 

i'm sorry , i'm not strong enough

 

i'm sorry

 

i love you

 

good bye ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

"hyung? baekhyun hyung ! i come back!"

 

.......

 

"hyung? hyung?! where are you?"

Jongin picked a white envelope, he read it carefully. His body shaking, he feel like want to throw up

 

"Hyung !!! hyung !! where are you!!!"

He tried to search his boyfriend. 

 

"Oh , please , no no no, please .. Oh God .. please no.."

 

Jongin open the bathroom, he feel he want to pass out, his leg is numb, he stop breathing, suddenly feel so sick. 

he could not believe what he saw..

 

He saw a cold body that once warm, so warm until Jongin once always hugging it so tightly.

 

He saw his hyung were closing his eyes, those eyes, those beautiful eyes that Jongin always love to see.

 

He saw his hyung wearing that  warm smile on his beautiful face, those smile, that always make Jongin feel warm every time he saw his baekhyun hyung smiling, those sweet smile that jongin love so much.

 

Jongin slowly coming closer to his lover body, with a blurring eyes he saw a cold body that closing his eyes with a warm smile on his beautiful face with a red blood water as his blanket. sleep peacefully ..