Today, one of my friends got engaged.. again another friend. Seems like everyone is getting engaged thesedays or even married. Well everyone but me..
I don't know when I will, if ever, now it just seems like I never will.
Maybe I'll just stay forever alone.

I feel too different, my life is too different from my friends. So many of them already have found the "one" and soon they will have their own families and they will live their happily ever afters. Just like in all those fairytales huh?

But not me.

I don't know what happened.. I just became like an outcast. Feels like i'm drifting away from my friends more and more.. we don't seem to have anything in common anymore. All they do is talk about their soon to be husband and planning weddings, settling down and all that stuff. I don't know, I do wish I could happily talk about such things with them but it all feels too distant to me. I've never even really had anyone.. well there were a few guys but it didn't work out and it didn't feel like a real relationship. Or who knows, maybe i'm afraid to have a relationship, or i'm just too hard to approach.

I have no idea when I last time had a crush on someone. It's been years, I guess I already gave up on love. I'm just hanging in here, trying to survive life. Alone... and I got to admit that I am lonely.

I don't always feel like that, but when i'm alone at night with no one beside me when I go to sleep, no one to watch a movie with, no one to laugh with or eat with. I don't even remember when was the last time I really genuinely laughed from the bottom of my heart. There is just my lonely little apartment and my laptop... I always listen to music through my computer. Hmm, yeah, I'd say music is the only thing that makes me feel somehow alive

. Music gives me feelings I forgot I had. At least for a moment.

When did my life become this dull actually? Well at least I don't have any unnecessary relationship drama going on..  I should stop writing now..

Younha let out a sigh and closed her diary. She stared at the cup of coffee that was on the table, she had drank almost all of it.
Younha was sitting at her favorite cafe, she visited the place as often as she could. Everytime she came, she wrote down her feelings and thoughts on her little diary that was always with her.

Younha stood up and was just about to leave when she bumped into someone. Something dropped on the floor and rolled under one table.
"I'm sorry." Younha bowed and crawled down to pick up the thing that had dropped.

Younha picked up a pencil. She stared at it for a moment. It didn't look like a pencil you can see in the shops everyday, it was a mixture of blue and green colour and there were a few white feathers attached to it. "What a pretty pencil." she mumbled and got up.
"Isn't it? It's not a normal pencil you know." the man beside her said. Younha gave it to him.
"What do you mean?" Younha said.
The man smiled. "It's a pencil that gives you great blessings."
Younha looked at him strangely. "Oh..."
"It's like supposed to give you good luck or what?" Younha asked.
"I didn't say luck. Great blessings." the man repeated.

"You must be a very blessed guy then huh? When you have that.." Younha muttered.
"Well not really. I'm still waiting for my great blessings to come." the man said. "It's something my grandmother gave me long long ago."

Younha nodded and looked at the guy interested. He seemed different, well not that different outwardly but there was something special about him, Younha could feel it.
"What is your name?" the man suddenly asked and smiled warmly.
"Me? I'm Younha." Younha said and smiled a small smile.
"Younha." the man repeated. "I am Kyujong. Kim Kyujong."

"Umm.. since we already introduced ourselves. Want to have a cup of coffee with me?" Kyujong suggested.
"But I just drank some already.. and I was going to go home." Younha said.
"Oh.. well are you busy? You know I would like to talk with you for a while. I have never met anyone whose name was Younha. I'm curious to see if talking with someone with such a name would be any different." Kyujong said.
"What? Well i'm just a normal human being just like the others even though i'm called Younha." Younha giggled.

"Yes you are a normal human being. I can see that but you are not like everyone else. Don't you know that every human being is special.. and different. Like you.. there is no one like you." Kyujong said.
"Well, there is no one like you either right?" Younha said.
"Of course not." Kyujong exclaimed.
"By the way, i'm sorry.. maybe you think i'm really strange. Many people tell me i'm strange.. I just can't help but talk about strange things around people. I don't know why." Kyujong said.
"It's okay." Younha smiled. I like strange...
"So well.. umm.. you were about to go home?" Kyujong asked.
"Yeah.. but I guess I can stay for a while. I've got nothing special." Younha said. He suddenly wanted to know more about this man, Kyujong.
"Great!" Kyujong smiled and led the way to one table.

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just a little story I wanted to start at the dephts of the night hahaha :D