until then.

delirious drabbles

Luhan entered the familiar environment of his regular coffee shop. The scent of freshly roasted beans and sweet pastries filled his nose as he walked in and to his favorite spot in the corner by the window. He enjoyed just sitting there sipping a vanilla latte while watching all the people that passed by. Some people knew who he was and would wave through the window to which he would kindly wave back with a smile. This place was his own little heaven and escape from all things evil in the world. Here it was all just caffeine, sugar, and peace. All of the things he was fond of. He enjoyed his hour there, sipping his drink lazily while gazing at the dark and cloudy sky outside. Luhan also enjoyed the rain. He loved to hear the pitter patter of the rain drops coming in contact with the windows of his apartment while he snuggled on the couch with a good drama to watch. He loved that fresh scent of the air once the rain has stopped and everything was covered in drops of water. The rain was a source of comfort.

 

The boy stood up once he finished his drink and left the tip on the table before heading out the door and on with his day. He was debating on whether he should take a risk and run to the store to pick up some detergent or wait until after the rain had lit up. He was so into his thoughts that he wasn’t really paying attention to where he was going and before he knew it, Luhan ended up on the ground. He blinked a couple of times before picking himself up and bowing immediately. He apologized profusely to the stranger as he stared down to his worn out shoes.

 

“Luhan?” The voice was low and soft but just enough for Luhan to acknowledge that this was probably someone he knew. He lifted his head up and widened his eyes as he laid his sight upon a very familiar face. This was a face that he knew so well, more than anything else. The face he studied for months, tracing over every feature until they were etched into his mind. The face of Kim Jongin.

 

Kim Jongin. He was one piece of living art that boy. With his flawless and tanned skin and charismatic eyes. His full lips that curved up into the most beautiful smile that Luhan had ever seen. His deep and charming voice that made all the girls swoon when they heard it. His-

 

“Luhan?” The boy broke out of his thoughts once Jongin called out his name again. He blinked a few more times before giving him a smile. “uhm, hello jongin.” That name sounded so foreign and odd coming out of his mouth considering how long it’s been since he last said them.

 

“It’s nice to see you again lu.” Jongin spoke after a few moments of silence.

 

“Yeah, it’s nice to see you again too.” Luhan spoke out softly as he tried not to stare at the other. He could feel the pain he manage to suppress after months, rise once again just at the very sight of this person.

 

“I was just about to get some coffee, would you like to join me?”

 

And so, this is how Luhan ended up back at the same shop, in the same spot he was in not 10 minutes ago. Luhan didn’t know why he agreed in the first place. He wanted to smack himself after blurting out an agreement. He played with his fingers while waiting as Jongin placed an order.

 

“do you want anything lu?”

 

“no thanks.”

 

Luhan watched as Jongin excused himself to the washroom for a moment. Just seeing this person again made the latent feelings inside luhan resurrect. Just seeing him made the memories come breaking out of the barrier inside his mind. Suddenly, all the boy could think about was Jongin.

 

Jongin was someone who used to mean the world to Luhan. He was the only thing Luhan could see back then. The only thing Luhan wanted to see.

 

Luhan was in heaven, but Jongin pulled him back down to earth.

 

Then suddenly everything was going downhill so fast. What used to be a perfect world was now filled with darkness and bitter regrets. Luhan lived there for months until he found someone who shed light into his darkness. Just when Luhan was moving on and living life again Kim Jongin decided to show up again. Fate was really cruel.

 

Jongin returned and took his seat across from Luhan. “I missed you.” That was the first thing he said. The baby faced boy was taken aback by the sudden confession. “w-what?”

 

“I missed you Luhan.” Luhan was still trying to process those words. It was too sudden and unexpected. He didn’t know why he felt a jolt of happiness at those words.

 

“I-I missed you too.” He stuttered. Jongin let out a breath taking smile and Luhan could feel himself losing control once again. “Why are you saying this so suddenly?”

 

“I’ve always wanted to say it, I just never found time.” He spoke in such a gentle and soft voice. The last time they spoke Luhan remembered how cold and hard his tone was. It sent shivers down his spine.

 

“I still look back on all the memories we shared. I miss it, I miss talking with you like that.” Luhan’s head was spinning as he processed everything the younger was saying. He was confused by all of this. Jongin was the one who left him, so why all of a sudden?

 

“I know I was being really horrible to you lu, but I’m really sorry for it all. That’s just the way I cope. You know that right?” Luhan just nodded his head dumbly.

 

“Yeah I know. I’m sorry too. I’ve done a lot of horrible things to you too and I regret it all.” Luhan couldn’t control himself anymore and continued ranting, “I really wish I could take it all back and start over. If I could then maybe we wouldn’t have ended up like this…” Luhan let out a small and weak laugh, “what am i saying? It’s already too late for that. You have Sehun now.”

 

He felt the pang in his chest when those words left his lips. The first time he saw them together it hurt so much. He knew they had broekn up for quite sometime but just seeing Jongin move on while he was still stuck in the past killed him. As time went on though, the pain started to fade away slowly.

 

“Well you never know what the future holds right?”

 

“yeah.” Luhan nodded but deep down he knew what the future held. It was certainly not a future for them.

 

“Besides, Sehun and I aren’t like you know, about to get married or anything. We’re just barely starting.” As much as Luhan wanted to believe it, he knew that the evidence was right in front of them.

 

Luhan was about to open his mouth to speak when Jongin’s phone went off. Luhan could tell who it was by the way Jongin’s voice switched to a cheerful and upbeat tone. He smiled sadly as he watched Jongin laugh and exchange sweet words with Sehun over the phone. It used to be him who the younger would talk to in that loving voice. It used to be him that made Jongin smile. But he lost his chance.

 

He slipped out of his seat quietly and wasn’t surprised when Jongin didn’t even notice. Giving him one last smile, Luhan exited the cafe and was greeted by the pouring rain. He smiled as he walked out into the comfort of the rain.

 

Maybe someday they could try again.

Until then, Luhan would live on.

 


sorry for any grammar/spelling errors otl. I wrote this at like 1am and while half dead. 
the first of many drabbles to come \o/

 

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