Carla's Point Of View

Know what? I don't believe in the word "LOVE". I am not like those girls that courts the boys, flirts with boys, in other words I am a MAN HATER. I don't believe in "HAPPILY EVER AFTER". That's Me, I Hate Guys! That's why I'm not GONNA FALL IN LOVE, AGAIN. Yeah, AGAIN, I was hurt the very first time I learned to love a guy. 

He's name is Byun Baekhyun my FIRST LOVE. Let me describe him. He's Cute, Handsome, Smart, Kind, and can make you fall in love with him, again and again, that's the case I've been to- I fell in love with him, over and over again, every second. Our Relationship? We're close, as in SUPER CLOSE, in other words. I thought that we were in love with each other.  That’s the time when I started expecting that we're going to have that "HAPPILY EVER AFTER". Let me tell you our story...

~Flashback~

"Hi Babe! How's your day?" He Said- Baekhyun. Yeah that time, he was already my boyfriend. 

"My day is just fine, How ‘Bout yours?"  I answered him. 

"My day is just going fine until I saw you." What? What he said meant two things: He's day got better? Or worse? 

"What do you mean?" I asked, face blank.

"Of course, my day got better when I saw you!" He said, smiling. 

When he smiles, it's like the whole world stops. When he speaks, there is no other sound that I can hear except his voice. When he's with me, I can't see no other person, but him. I wish that this feeling will not end anymore. The times when I'm with him, the nights that I can't sleep without him texting, the mornings that I can't get up unless he calls.

"Hey! What are you thinking about?" He said, snapping me out of my thoughts. 

"Oh right. Sorry, I was just thinking the fact that you are leaving me. Maybe I will kill myself." I said. Sharing the things that I was just thinking awhile ago. 

"O-ohh... Let's go home already! L-let's g-go!" He said, while stuttering.

"Okay. Let's go!" I said, clinging to his arms.

~Fast Forward~

I'm about to sleep when I felt like calling my boyfriend.

When I called him, his phone is busy. So I just slept.

~The Next Day~

When I woke up, I looked at my alarm clock. It's already 9:32 AM! Our class starts at 10:00! Why Baekhyun didn’t call me up? He used to call me every morning; he knows that I have a sickness- Hypersomnia. I sleep too much. I can't wake up easily every morning.

So I decided to attend to class, late. I prepared my things, prepared my bath, and while I was taking my bath, I thought of what was bothering Baekhyun last night. First, he started to stutter, then he wanted to take me home early and last, he did not call me up this morning. What’s bothering him? 

~Ring~Ring~Ring~

Ooooopppssss! My Phone is ringing! I expected that it was Baekhyun. Sadly, it was my mom.

"Hey Carla! Yobosaeyo!" She said.

"Hey Mom! Hello! “I Answered. By The way, I'm a Half Korean Half Filipino. My Full Name is Carla Gaeul. (Pronounced as: Carla Gail)

"Jai Jinnesseyo?" She said.

"I'm Fine. Okay Mom I Got to go! I have to go to school! Bye" I said, finishing our conversation.

*END OF CONVO*

I Got up from the Tub and wrapped myself in my Red Robe. I got out of the bathroom, and changed into my Uniform. 

I went out of my house. Yes MY House. I live alone, because our house is far away from my school. That's why I ask my parents to build my house here near my school. I have my own Lamborghini car. I have many cars, but this one's my favorite car, because it’s Red. I Love Red. While Driving, I noticed that, he has not given me a call not even a single text. What Happened, Seriously? 

~Fast forward~

Here I am at school. Every student I happen to pass by gave me cold stares and wild beams. When I come into my classroom there is many Red roses, Red cut papers shaped into hearts, Is it Valentine's Day, or what? 

"Happy Anniversary, Babe!" a super familiar voice said, behind me, when I looked around I saw my boyfriend. What the H? Anniversary?  Oh Yes, My God! I forgot that it's our anniversary! Otuke (What to do?) He’ll Kill Me! Oh No! I just need to pretend…

“Oh! Happy Anniversary Babe! Sarangahae! I Love The Surprise!” I Said. I felt the cold sweat coming down the back of my spine.

“Nado Saranghaeyo (I Love you too)! Thank you! I’m sorry I forgot to call you before, because I was busy preparing our anniversary gift party.” He said, while smiling really wide.

“Oh that’s fine. Sorry I forgot to bring my gift for you, I have to give it to you later.” I said. This time, Ii will be hard for me to tell the truth, that, I really forgot our anniversary.

“Oh… That’s okay, babe. Let’s just enjoy our anniversary, okay?”  He said.

I gave a nod as an answer.

I felt the guilt, nervousness, everything that can be felt when you’re in a court. It’s like my heart is going to blow any minute. 

“Why are you suddenly silent?” He asked me.

“Oh, Nothing, just didn’t have a good night’s sleep. Just excited for today!” I said, faking a smile.

“Oh… Me too!” He said, smiling. 

So we ate, danced, and cherished the moment when we are still in each other’s company.

I forgot that I have lied to him. I need to tell him that I forgot our anniversary day today.

So, after dancing, I told him the truth.

“Ummm, Baekhyun, I have something to tell you.” I said, while stuttering. 

“What is it?” He said. He’s face is full of curiosity. O my gosh! Do I really have to tell him? my mind is full of “What-if’s” – What if he will break up with me, what if he will be angry, what if he will find a replacement to replace me, and many more “What-if’s”. 

“I forgot that today is our anniversary day.” My tears started to form in my eyes.

“Shh Babe, that’s okay… I understand. Just don’t lie to me, again, please?” He said, while wiping the tears that start to fall down.

“Thanks for understanding.” I said, trying to smile.

That day ended while I’m smiling. Loving a person, does not keep records of mistakes. You must be honest, loyal, and trustworthy.

~The Next Day~

Here I am at school, at the comfort room. Crying. Why? Because I saw Baekhyun kissing another girl, her name is Im Yoona, the campus muse. I’m nothing compared to her, she’s smart, beautiful, rich, and popular. 

So I went out to talk to Baekhyun regarding that issue. I saw him, he’s laughing, smiling, and talking to Marjorie. I never seen him so happy like this when he’s with me. 

So I approached him.

“Umm, Yoona, may I talk to Baekhyun for a minute?” I asked, trying not to burst from sudden outrage.

“Baekhyun? Why don’t you call him Babe?” She said. She knows, that I have a relationship with Baekhyun?

Then she left. So it’s time for me to talk to Baekhyun.

“Hi, Ummmm, B-babe!” I said, trying my best to give the best smile I can show him.

“Don’t even dare call me “Babe” again.” He said. Every word he said is like a knife that s into my heart.

“I thought you love me?” I asked him.  Even if I know what he’ll say.

“Loved you? You’re just a rebound! I just played with your heart.” He said. I tried my best not to cry, but my eyes betrayed me.  My tears started falling down one by one, like light rain trapped in somehow a storm, first rain in the longest drought, hurricane during the hottest day of may. Things that are just so…

“Why? I thought your love for me is real? Please tell me that you love me! Please? ” I asked. 

“You’re Desperate! You’re a girl, and you have the guts to beg for a man’s love?” He said.

“Maybe I am desperate, as what you say, dumb for love, stupid of the consequences but I did that, for you. I become stupid. That’s one of the things you get for loving. Things you do for love, right?.” I said.

He can’t answer, so I continue to convince him.

“I will understand if you will go away from me. But, you let me be your girlfriend. “ I said. 

“I know that you’re just trying to convince me to tell you that I love you, but I will tell you, I don’t love you! From the very start, you are just a rebound. I forced myself to love you, even if I know that I can’t!” He said.

“I will just tell you, that, you are my first love and my first heartbreak!” I said, then Ran away. 

~End Of Flashback~

Now, Who will tell me that love is easy? My first love, is my first heartbreak. No fairytales. No happy ending. No “LOVE”. 

~End~