“Why do you always wear purple?”

That was the thing with Myungsoo, he asked too many questions. Most of the questions didn’t even make sense and very rarely they were questions actually worth answering. Normally Sungjong answered one out of twenty questions but recently, he had gotten a bit more generous. However Myungsoo somehow remembered the questions that had gone unanswered and would pop it out at other times in the hope of getting them answered. Sungjong had a feeling he had been asked this question before, more than once.

“I like the color.”

“Seriously?”

He was surprised by the disbelief in his voice. He turned to look at Myungsoo.

He was standing in front of Sungjong’s bookshelf, trying to find a book to borrow. At least that was what he had said – Sungjong knew that he wasn’t interested in books. Myungsoo used the time he wasn't asking questions to quote random facts about himself although on many occassions Sungjong had said he wasn't particularly interested. But Myungsoo was indomitable; he did what he pleased.

Myungsoo had been coming over to his place often and even though he was slightly annoying, Sungjong didn’t mind. So didn’t his parents who were happy that Sungjong had finally filled the void Hoya had left. At least, that was what they thought.

Having Myungsoo around was like having a very talkative shadow - not Sungjong's first choice of companion. But there was something about Myungsoo that Sungjong liked very much, although he never let it out. Myungsoo didn't need any more reasons to boast; he'd already claimed Sungjong as his best friend.

Hoya, to Sungjong’s surprise, reacted negatively against him hanging out with Myungsoo. He was introduced to him as “Sungjong’s new friend” at dinner one night. Hoya had only looked at him suspiciously. Every time Myungsoo was around, he would become moody and shut off from Sungjong completely. Offended by Myungsoo’s influence on Sungjong, he had moved even farther away. It hurt Sungjong to think about it and he missed his brother. But he was glad to step out of his shadow finally.

He felt like he had grown.

He had definitely grown to endure Myungsoo, like him even. The weekends he would usually spend in silence and books would now be filled with voices and laughter; mostly Myungsoo talked but Sungjong liked listening to his voice rolling off.

It wasn’t that bad – in fact, it was better than the silent afternoons. And a part of Myungsoo was very endearing - as much as he tried to deny it, he felt it.

Myungsoo smiled slightly, turning to face him.

“It’s just…purple doesn’t seem like your color.”

“What?”

Myungsoo shrugged.

“I just – I didn’t expect purple, maybe blue or green...”

“It’s yellow.”

“Huh?”

Sungjong’s lips trembled a little.

He remembered the yellow curtains he had seen the first time he had entered the Lee residence. He thought about lemon, and how he used to love summer because of the brilliant sunshine. He hadn’t even realized that he had changed so much over the years; he had molded himself to suit Hoya. In fact, he had changed himself to become Hoya. He had lost parts of himself in the frenzy to impress his brother.

He thought he had found his identity when he had entered the Lee residence, but in reality, he had borrowed Hoya’s identity, instead of finding his own.

“Yellow, that’s my favorite color.”

Myungsoo smiled at him knowingly, alsmost as if he had expected the younger to answer.

“Better. And what else are you hiding from me?”

Sungjong laughed.

“There is a thing or two.”

“Ah well, I’ll find out anyways.”

Sungjong didn't retort about Myungsoo's false confidence as he watched with a slight smile the smug look on his face. Maybe the elder wasn't bluffing completely this time.

Myungsoo did find out. He not only found out the real Sungjong, but he also helped Sungjong to find himself.

In a way, Sungjong rediscovered himself, through Myungsoo.

Around Myungsoo, he felt as if he could be whatever he wanted to, and so he drowned the person he had spent so much time in creating without a single regret. For once, he didn’t care that Hoya seemed not to like the change in him – he still loved his brother, he was grateful to him, but he also wanted to break out of the cage Hoya had been unknowingly putting him in.

The one day he felt remorseful about it all was the day he saw Hoya crying - Hoya never cried. Sungjong wasn't sure exactly why he was crying, but he knew it had soemthing to do with them because he was clutching the picture frame bearing Sungjong's picture taken on the first day of school. Hoya had taken the picture and it was not very good, blurry and at an angle but Sungjong had always treasured it. Somehow Hoya had found the frame.

Sungjong wanted to comfort his brother, tell him something like it wasn't the end for them. He was simply trying to find the person he was, the person he should have become, and he didn't blame Hoya for anything. But he couldn't bring himself to do it, so he ran away. He ran away the one time his brother needed him although he had been there for him countless times. He didn't know what to make of it, so he asked Myungsoo.

To Sungjong’s own surprise, he confided into Myungsoo about his feelings for Hoya. He thought Myungsoo would have been disgusted by it, but for once, he heard him out without interrupting him. When he was done, Myungsoo nodded gravely.

“Do you think I’m disgusting?” Sungjong finally asked when Myungsoo didn’t say anything.

Myungsoo bit his lips.

“I was trying to find a way to break it to you nicely, but…the thing is Sungjong, you’re not in love with your brother.”

“I never said I am. I said I was in – well, I liked him.”

Myungsoo shook his head.

“Not in the way you think.”

Sungjong was confused by Myungsoo’s response. He had clearly explained every bit of the story and yet Myungsoo refused to believe him?

“You see,” he continued in a serious tone. “He’s the first person who claimed you – the first person you thought you belonged to. It’s not strange or disgusting that you latched onto him for the affection and attention you had never experienced. You had nothing, and when Hoya came into your life, you felt you had everything.”

“I don’t unders-”

“Sungjong, don’t beat yourself up for liking your brother. Just remember there is more to you than Hoya.”

At times Myungsoo surprised him with his sudden surges of brilliance. When he sat down and thought about it, he found that Myungsoo had actually taught him many important lessons. The most important would obviously be that love doesn’t change you, it brings out the best in you.

“Like it did in me,” Myungsoo had said, blushing slightly as he caressed Sungjong’s cheek.

“Are you kidding me? You’re still the most obnoxious and self-satisfied person ever,” Sungjong replied jokingly.

He had realized that Myungsoo had developed feelings for him but he wasn’t sure about what he felt for him. He didn’t want to jump into another ship without looking around first. True, Myungsoo had helped him to see how he was stuck in an iceberg in the first place, but now that he was free, he wanted to experience the waters a little more before making a decision.

He said so to Myungsoo, who only said, “I’ll be waiting for you.”

The day he realized that no matter how much he looked about there was nothing as warm and cozy as Myungsoo, he told him the three words he had wanted to hear for a long time.

Myungsoo was so happy, so elated that he was at a loss for what to do and Sungjong laughed at him. But in the inside, he was thanking him repeatedly for helping him to find his identity.

His home.

Because at last, he found his home.

He found home in Myungsoo.

Because home doesn’t have to be a house, or a roof above your head – home is a shelter, a sanctuary, where you can be anyone you like; you can be the real you with no one judging you, no pretenses.

And Myungsoo was just that. A home guarded by love and trust; where he could take off his shields, where he didn’t have to be afraid of getting hurt. Even if they fought, at the end of the day, they went back to each other because it wasn’t possible for them to castoff each other.

Such was the depth of love and the power of home.

A home is something you have to experience, to call it home.