The End?
I Just Couldn'tIt was a fine spring day when I heard of it. At that moment everything seemed to go from peaceful to unbearably noisy; and truthfully, I just really wanted to go deaf. Just when everything was going well, or at least I thought they were, there were still loose ends. There were so many things going on through my head:
Should I just end it now?
Is it even worth going through until the end?
Is this the end?
End?
End?
I found myself thinking about the end more than a couple of times a day. I didn't worry, though. I only thought and thought. All my sentences in mind included that word. Messing with my own mind just went on endlessly. And right here and now, I just used ‘end’ again.
I never thought about doing what most depressed people did. I had my principles. I tried my best to channel my lost vigor for life through less noticeable and less tiring means. I locked myself in my room for x number of days, I really lost count. I just stared blankly through my window, thinking about random things. I just needed time to think, since it was somehow what I always do. I skipped school and so my grades dropped. My friends in school began texting me, “What’s wrong?” “Is something the matter?” “When are you coming back?”
No, I was wrong. It was just a friend.
It was the homeroom teacher.
But then, she’s forced to care.
Everything seemed to fall apart from there on.
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