“Ssul, what are you saying?” Soojung asked in confusion.

“I think we need to stop our little love game. It’s over, Soojung. We need to grow up,” I replied with the coldest tone I could muster up.

“Why? It doesn’t make sense. Yesterday… we were just…”

“And today I realized that it’s all wrong. This. Us. I can’t be a part of this any longer,” I cut her off. I just wanted to end this as quickly as possible before I started to crack.

She started tearing, not from being hurt but from frustration. “Liar! You’re a liar. I know you love me. There’s no way you could have changed 180 overnight. Why are you doing this?” she asserted. She wouldn’t let it go.

“I told you. I can’t do this anymore. It was just a silly, childish puppy love. And now I’m over it,” I replied with a straight face.

She hesitated for a moment. I could hear her breathing heavy. Tears were now streaming down her cheeks. “I don’t believe you. I know you, Ssul. I know you still feel something for me. And… and… I still love you. I won’t ever stop loving you.”

I felt my heart tighten hearing that from her. No, you have to be strong Sulli! You’re doing this for her sake…

-----

(Flashback…)

“Sulli, President Lee wants a word with you,” said my manager oppa.

I swallowed hard. I already knew what it was about. Soojung and I were recently caught in a scandal that was all over the internet, entertainment news, and magazines. Someone had spread a malicious rumor about my relationship with Soojung being more than platonic. The problem was, it wasn’t exactly a rumor. She and I have been best friends for a long time but our adoration for one another slowly grew over the years and without even realizing it, we were in love. It hadn’t been a problem before but we were now adults and our actions drew more scrutiny. And now this. Why is everyone trying to ruin our lives?

I nervously entered the president’s office, my palms sweating. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Ah, Sulli… please have a seat,” he ushered me over. “Do you know why I called you here?”

I knew it was a trick question so I lied. “No sir.”

“I’m sure you already know about all the rumors about you and Soojung that has been going around.” He waited for a response.

I nodded.

“Well, then you know it is getting out of control. This rumor was obviously spread by an insider. There were a lot of details. We need to fix this immediately. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Yes… no, not really sir.”

“I want you to put an end to it. Whatever that’s going on between the two of you, it has got to stop. If you care about yours and her career and reputation, let alone this company’s reputation, you will do as I say.”

My eyes widened in shock. I couldn’t believe what he was actually saying. “And what if I don’t?” I asked nervously.

“If you don’t, well then I will have to take drastic actions. It wouldn’t be good for any of us but I know when to cut my losses.”

I was in disbelief. He was actually threatening, no, blackmailing me, us. “Why did you speak to me only and not Soojung?”

“We both know what she’s like…”

I thought about it. He was right. Soojung would never give in. She would never agree to this. She would have chosen us. I bit my lip to stop myself from telling him what I really thought. But I had to admit defeat. It was the only way of protecting her. “I know what I have to do sir,” I finally said.

“Good. Be warned, I will be monitoring this.”

(End of flashback…)

-----

“Just let it go Soojung. Don’t make it harder than it needs to be. You’re still my best friend and I love you too. But just as that. NOTHING MORE,” I sighed.

“No, I don’t want that!”

She didn’t even know that this was breaking my heart more than hers. It wasn’t easy for me to do this. I loved her more than anything but I had convinced myself that it was best and that I was doing it to protect her.

“I’m sorry Soojung. I… I just don’t love you like that anymore.” It was the nail on the coffin. I couldn’t look back at her as I walked out the door, fearing that my resolve would weaken. No, Sulli. Just keep walking. She’ll get over it eventually.

-----

It’s been weeks since I ended our relationship. Although, it didn’t mean that I had stopped loving her. I was right though, she did eventually get over me. She had stopped trying to get me back, she had stopped clinging on to me, and in fact she wasn’t even mad at me anymore. She didn’t look at me the way she used to or held my hand or hugged me. When we talked, it was as if we were just acquaintances. It was unbearable. I knew it was me who decided to do it. I thought it was the right thing to do but I was starting to regret it. My love for her was unmistakable and not having her love me back really hurt. It hurt so bad I could die.

“Jjung, we need to talk,” I said to her in a whisper. There were a lot of people around so I didn’t want to make it obvious.

“Talk about what?” she asked casually.

“This is not a good place to talk. Can we go somewhere else?”

“If you want to say anything to me, you can do it here,” she replied in a cold tone that was so unfamiliar to me. She may have sounded cold to everyone else before but never me, not until now.

“Please, Jjung…” I pleaded. I grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her along. She followed reluctantly.

I managed to find an empty room that we could talk in private. I pulled her in and locked the door behind us.

She raised her eyebrow. “What did you want to say?” she asked impatiently.

“I uhm…” I stuttered. Unable to find the words I needed.

She rolled her eyes. “If you have nothing to say, I’m going back.”

“No, please!” I stammered, my voice full of desperation. “I… I really regret what I did. I want you back Jjung.” I sounded so pathetic but I didn’t care. I would do anything to have her back.

She stared at me without a word for what seemed like forever. When she finally spoke, her voice was unyielding. “Why should I? You were the one who wanted to end it. And now that I’m finally over you, you want me back?”

“I’m sorry Jjung. I was wrong. I didn’t think it through. Please, could you just forgive me. Please, just this once,” I begged shamelessly.

“It’s too late. What’s done is done.” It was like a knife piercing through my heart. Can you not see that my heart is bleeding, Soojungie?

“I didn’t want to but I thought I was doing the right thing. They would have destroyed us otherwise,” I blurted.

Her brow furrowed in confusion. “What? What are you talking about? Destroy us? Who’s going to destroy us?”

I couldn’t hold it in any longer. “They wanted me to end the rumors about our relationship…” I proceeded to tell her the entire truth about my conversation with President Lee. “I was just trying to protect you.”

“Who told you to protect me?! I can protect myself. You’re right; I wouldn’t have given up like you had. I would have fought. I would have fought for us. You’re just a coward. You didn’t even ask me what I wanted.” Her voice was full of anger and disappointment.

I wasn’t able to hold back my tears anymore. I dropped my head, unable to face her. I was ashamed. She was right, I was a coward. I thought I was protecting her but I was just protecting myself. I should have believed in us more. I should have held on. I shouldn’t have let her go. My tears were heavy and I could hear each drop hitting the ground.

“I have no excuse. You’re right, Jjung. I was a complete coward. But it didn’t mean I stopped loving you! I can’t deny these feelings I have for you,” I poured my heart out.

She stayed silent.

I couldn’t just do nothing and my desperation was close to a tipping point. So I pushed her against the door and tried to kiss her.

She turned away and averted my attempt.

“Do you really not love me anymore?” I asked, completely heartbroken.

She hesitated then replied, “Don’t you remember what I said?”

Now I was baffled.

“Babo. I told you I won’t ever stop loving you.” At that my heart skipped a beat. It was what I so desperately wanted to hear. She grabbed my collar and pulled me in for a kiss.

I started leaning in but stopped suddenly. “What if we get caught?” I whispered.

She replied with a whisper, “Just shut up and kiss me!”