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This has happened countless times before, I kept my feelings hidden from him and continued on being his friend without harm, and I don't understand that why just now, my heart skips a beat when he calls, butterflies when I receive a text, and my knees become numb at the sight of his presence. None of this made sense, none of it. Crushes come and go, it's part of life. But he's the only one I always seem to falling for over and over, is this a sign? Or am I just really confused?

 I needed time away from Jonghyun, so I spent the last two months ignoring him, so that meant ignoring his calls, texts, and be really cautious of where I went. The only reason for  this was to see if this would help me get over him, but it didn’t as you can see. I wanted to see him, see his beautiful smile, innocent eyes. The only thing I was doing now was torturing myself.

 My thoughts scattered by a knock on the door, I quickly shot up from bed and headed towards the door. Without thinking I swung the door open and found my older brother Onew with a plastic bag in his hand and a Popsicle in his mouth. My heart sunk, disappointed, I was really hoping it would have been Jonghyun coming to check up on me…

“You’re not excited to see your handsome older brother?”, He asked, taking the frozen treat out of his mouth.

“Sorry oppa.”, I replied, wrapping my arms him for a tight squeeze.

I invited him inside and locked the door behind us, heading for the living room where Onew oppa made himself comfortable on the couch. I sat beside him and stared curiously at the bag laying on the floor.

“What’s in the bag?”

“Just some animes and food.”

Onew oppa bent over to pick the bag up and set it in between us, removing its components. Three box sets of my favourite animes, and a box of BBQ pork buns.

I gasped. “Oppa! Is this for me?”

He laughed at my reaction, passing me a pork bun then smiled. “Yeahup! Plus I need to check up on you once and while.”

 Growing up oppa and I never really got along, our parents would describe our relationship as cat and dog since we would always bark and hiss at one another over the smallest things. That’s how oppa and I get along, it’s to explain at times because even though we’re always at throat to throat, he’s always been there for me and I know I’ll always be there for him especially when we have no one else to turn to.

“So what’s up with you and Jonghyun?” He asks out of the blue, causing me to choke on a climb of bread. He waited for my reply as soon as I could consume my food.

 That’s right I forgot that Jonghyun and oppa are friends as well, who ironically live in the same apartment along with three other guys.

“There’s nothing really, why?” I tilted my head a bit to the side, acting confused.

“He’s been acting weird that’s all, and it’s been a month since he’s talked about you.”

“He talks about me?”

“Basically, he just tells us how he liked spending time with you.”

“Oh.” I bobbed my head, and continued eating my pork bun.